Friday afternoon, 2016


Event organized by Paizo Game

Cosmo’s Spectacularly Unfair Railroad!

Friday afternoon, 1:00–6:00 pm, 2016 • Cascade 7

This event will be patently unfair.

I intend to revel in my own crapulence, at your expense, and dispatch your characters in as many different unpleasant ways as possible. I will most likely just railroad you from one unwinnable situation to the next, with nary a single thing that your poor defenseless characters can do about it.

There will be wailing and gnashing of teeth. There will be rending of garments*, and lamentations of abject existential horror. There will be blood. There will be Grimace. There will be clowns. There will be covering a lack of preparedness with fickle GM fiat.

There will be clowns.

You probably should avoid this terrible game. If you show up for it, remember:

You asked for this.

NOTE: I will provide you with your fodder character. Just bring your dice, pencils, and soulmasochistic desire to be summarily executed.

*Garment rending must remain acceptable within Community Guidelines.

Hide event details

Event # 78491
When PaizoCon 2016:
Where DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel
Cascade 7
18740 International Blvd.
Seattle WA 98188

Category Game
Game Master Cosmo

Paizo Employee Malaise-Inducement Construct

5 people marked this as a favorite.

Ignore that description! I'm sure it'll be super fun!


Only the entire continual U.S. could stand between me and this game. Wait, it does.

Sad Tac is saaaaaaad...

(Good luck and good gaming! And community-guideline acceptable clothes rending!)

Lantern Lodge Customer Service Manager

7 people marked this as a favorite.

Event has been updated with title and description. Good luck to the six brave souls who decide to attend.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Auuuuugh. My first seminar ends at 2PM. I will hover around this until someone dies, then prop up their corpse Weekend At Bernie's style to keep things moving along.

Paizo Employee Developer

4 people marked this as a favorite.

Why didn't I think of this?

Liberty's Edge

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Starfinder Superscriber

...so Cosmo is running the original Tomb of Horrors?

Paizo Employee Chief Technical Officer

5 people marked this as a favorite.
Mark Moreland wrote:
Why didn't I think of this?

Your brain just isn't wired the same way as Cosmo's. You know—because you haven't lost your humanity yet.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Maps, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Sara Marie wrote:
Event has been updated with title and description. Good luck to the six brave souls who decide to attend.

Wow, Sara wishing luck to participants. Ok, officially scared now.

Whatever happens to the six lucky souls, remember this, you will all have a valid reason (or set thereof) to take full and active part in the blame cosmo thread forever after.

And whatever you post in that blame thread, it's all Cosmo's own doing :P

Paizo Employee Chief Technical Officer

5 people marked this as a favorite.
Anthony Adam wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:
Event has been updated with title and description. Good luck to the six brave souls who decide to attend.
Wow, Sara wishing luck to participants. Ok, officially scared now.

Note that she's wishing luck to their souls—I have to presume that the phrase "in the afterlife" is merely implied.


All I can say is that I totally wimped out on this one and gave it a Priority 0.


Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Maps, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Vic Wertz wrote:
Anthony Adam wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:
Event has been updated with title and description. Good luck to the six brave souls who decide to attend.
Wow, Sara wishing luck to participants. Ok, officially scared now.
Note that she's wishing luck to their souls—I have to presume that the phrase "in the afterlife" is merely implied.

I had noticed, I was just trying to think positively... rocks back nd forth with arms around his knees... It will be alright...


2 people marked this as a favorite.

I'm in! How drunk should I be? ;)

Dark Archive

2 people marked this as a favorite.

First time to PaizoCon and I got this from the lottery. Should I be more scared, or more excited? What's the proper ratio?

Paizo Employee Chief Technical Officer

3 people marked this as a favorite.
Keith Apperson wrote:
Should I be more scared, or more excited? What's the proper ratio?

The answer to both questions is "Yes!"

Grand Lodge

4 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Oh you sweet summer children.

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Maps, Rulebook Subscriber

Was very sad not to get in this. Much sadness.

Sovereign Court

3 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Maps, Rulebook Subscriber

But I have 3 older brothers who are all Shackletons. So clearly I am a masochist.

Technological Overlord

2 people marked this as a favorite.

If you are fortunate enough to have been selected for this event, then please keep an eye on the inbox of the email address under which you are registered on paizo.com.

I need some information about you. Simple stuff. Your tolerances. A few physiological details... nothing too invasive, at this point.

Please respond promptly and honestly when you are contacted, so we can ensure that the experience is as pleasant as you can possibly stand.

Lantern Lodge Customer Service Manager

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Email has been sent!

Grand Lodge

3 people marked this as a favorite.

I'm in! Looking forward to a nice, relaxing afternoon...


1 person marked this as a favorite.

YAY! Pugwampi involvement has been CONFIRMED!

>:D

Paizo Employee Sales Associate

4 people marked this as a favorite.
Master Pugwampi wrote:

YAY! Pugwampi involvement has been CONFIRMED!

>:D

PSSSST! AWAY, YOU! NO SPOILERS!


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Cosmo wrote:
Master Pugwampi wrote:

YAY! Pugwampi involvement has been CONFIRMED!

>:D

PSSSST! AWAY, YOU! NO SPOILERS!

*looks chagrined*

Oops. Sorry.

Ignore what I said! Nothing to see here! Move along!

*slinks out the back*

Dark Archive

This was super awesome. Thanks everyone for playing along! You were all great!

~Balloon head man

Paizo Employee Chief Technical Officer

So, anybody die?

Anybody *not* die?

Dark Archive

1 person marked this as a favorite.

2 TPKs (entire party in one round) followed by the gradual death of the entire party for #3?

Grand Lodge

Hah! I only died twice! Call me "Least-Dead Mlem."


We he several brilliant plans that allowed the party to TPK itself over and over...

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