Sznek's page

The young ones are huddle around the fire their red eyes gleaming as they watch the fire liking at the wood in the fireplace. As an old white haired Goblin makes his way toward the fire they begin to yap and shout pushing each other aside biting and barking to get close to the elder. For this one is a special goblin, he is the Chieftain of the Licktoad Clan and a hero renowned throughout the inner sea. As the shouting and screeching becomes ever louder and more high pitched a sharp hiss cuts through the night and the old goblin raises his hand.

Youngens you a pack of rabid dogs?

NOOOOOOO screeches the chorus of squeaky little Goblin voices.

Be you the proud young warriors of the Licktoad?

YES YES YES YES. WE BE LICKTOAD. FAST and STRONG. SING A SONG. TAKE A BITE. FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT. WITH OUR TOOTH. WITH OUR CLAW. OGRE BONE IS GOOD TO GNAW! The goblin children chant.

The old goblin wears a smug smile on his face. Then raises his walking stick, which is actually the thig bone of an Ogre over his head. Ahh very nice! You make Sznek proud younges! Sznek tell good youngens story of how Sznek became champion of Kaer Maga

YEEEEES, YEES, YES, YES! The cacophony of voices replies.

Good, good. Licktoad is strong clan. Many year ago. Licktoad warriors feared everywhere. Licktoad warriors fast and know no fear. Licktoad has sharp teeth, strong claws and hard head. Licktoad be strong and go and take what Licktoad need from longshanks in Sandpoint and stinking Dwarves who hide in caves! Licktoad one day go to Janderhoff for plunder. But Longshanks evil. Trick Licktoad with evil witchery

Bäähhhh shout the mountain goat children!

Longshank take mighty warrior Sznek and put in iron. But longshank weak. Not cut Sznek head off sell Sznek to Kaer Maga! In Kaer Maga they say Sznek have little hand good for scratching longshank s#*% out of longshank pee holes. Say Sznek now slave!The old goblin pauses for effect then looks around at the children his face grim.

Licktoad make good slave?

NOOOOOOO the young goblins shout angrily.

The greyed old goblin nods. That what Sznek say Longshanks. Longshank no believe. Send Sznek to clean s+#@ with ugly Orcses. Orcses think Goblin be good food. Sznek make orceses eat s&&& and die! Longshank say Sznek no good slave! Say Sznek go to Kaer Maga and Ogre eat Sznek in Arena! Who eat Ogre in Kaer Maga?

SZNEK! SZNEK! SZNEK! shout the Mountain goat children.

Sznek eat Ogre! Sznek eat Lion! Sznek eat Dragon in Kaer Maga! Big man see Sznek fight and say Sznek best fighter in Kaer Maga! He say Sznek no slave anymore. Sznek now Champion of Kaer Maga! Sznek say no like stinking longshank town Sznek go back to Licktoad! But Kaer Maga far away from Brinestump. Sznek find friend from Brinestump in Kaer Maga and say he protect chipper on travel. Chipper say stinking Orcses can go to hell and Sznek travel with him back home to Brinestump!

The goblin children begin to jump up and down, dance around the fire and hoot and shout totally ecstatic. Their cheering and hooting goes on for quite some time until the old goblin thumps the ogre thigh on the ground three times.

Now children go sleep and tomorrow Sznek tell you story of how he travel to Land of Jade with his old friend Chipper…

Sznek be loyal!
Sznek be proud!
Sznek be brave!
Sznek be not smartest Goblin in Gollarion!
Sznek not care who smartest Goblin because Sznek strongest Goblin!
Sznek know longshank are different, learned in Kaer Maga! Sznek not understand all Longshank do. But Sznek learn Longshank not like when Sznek eat dog or fart loud and laugh so Sznek not do that when Longshank around. Sznek like Longshanks. They like Goblin, bigger and stronger and smarter. Longshank friend is good for Goblin. When Ogre see Goblin with Longshank he no think Goblin food!
Sznek not Evil Goblin! Sznek fight when Sznek has to. Sznek kill when Sznek hungry! But Sznek not kill other Goblin for fun only bad Goblin kill other Goblin!

Sznek
N Goblin Barbarian 1 (Urban Babarian)
Init: +6 AC: 19 (21 while raging) HP: 16 CMD: 20 CMB: 7
Wil: +1(Birthmark trait, Rage) Ref: +6 Fort: +5
Attack routine: +7 Dogslicer(1d4+2)

Class Abilities:

Crowd Control:
At 1st level, an urban barbarian gains a +1 bonus on attack rolls and a +1 dodge bonus to AC when adjacent to two or more enemies. In addition, her movement is not impeded by crowds, and she gains a bonus equal to 1/2 her barbarian level on Intimidate checks to influence crowds.
Controlled Rage:
When an urban barbarian rages, instead of making a normal rage she may apply a +4 morale bonus to her Strength, Dexterity, or Constitution. This bonus increases to +6 when she gains greater rage and +8 when she gains mighty rage. She may apply the full bonus to one ability score or may split the bonus between several scores in increments of +2. When using a controlled rage, an urban barbarian gains no bonus on Will saves, takes no penalties to AC, and can still use Intelligence-, Dexterity-, and Charisma-based skills.
Uncanny Dodge:

Racial Abilities:
Ability Score Racial Traits: Goblins are fast, but weak and unpleasant to be around. They gain +4 Dexterity, –2 Strength, and –2 Charisma.
Type: Goblins are humanoids with the goblinoid subtype.
Size: Goblins are Small creatures and thus gain a +1 size bonus to their AC, a +1 size bonus on attack rolls, a –1 penalty to their CMB and CMD, and a +4 size bonus on Stealth checks.
Base Speed: Goblins are fast for their size, and have a base speed of 30 feet
Darkvision: Goblins see perfectly in the dark up to 60 feet.
Hard Head, Big Teeth: Goblins are known for their balloon-like heads and enormous maws, but some have even more exaggeratedly large heads filled with razor-sharp teeth. Goblins with this trait gain a bite attack as a primary natural attack that deals 1d4 points of damage. This racial trait replaces skilled.

Feats:
1 Weapon Finesse

Traits:
Highlander: +1 to Stealth and Stealth becomes Class Skill. +2 to Stealth in Mountain terrain
Birthmark: +2 trait bonus on all saving throws against charm and compulsion effects
Chipper's Bud: +1 to profession and +1 to attack and damage when defending Chipper or his Caravan.

Skills:
Acrobatics (1 ranks) +10
Stealth (1 ranks) +15 (+4 size +1 trait)
Perception (1 ranks) +5
Climb (0 ranks) +2
Profession Merchant(0 ranks) +2

Equipment
Traveling Clothes
Barbarian Kit
Leather Armor
Horsechopper
Dogslicer
100 GP