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What a great idea to reduce personal debt! I bet she wrote the entire car off on this year's returns, plus the gas and maintenance, website fees...
Jewish prayer prompts flight diversion I've got the solution to all this: Everyone is anesthetized at the gate. I know, I know! I'm BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If everyone sleeps through the flight, there'll be a lot less diverted flights, no freak-outs when a person starts praying or acting nervous, or calls the attendant a sexist name; and best of all the passengers can be chicken-cooped in, allowing the airline to fit more people in steerage, er, Economy. Since everyone is asleep, no need for those heavy half-size cans of K-mart Clearance Diet Rite and brandless BBQ Snack packs that stink-up everyone's breath. No! Here's the best part--we passengers won't have to sit through another flight of six viewings of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, sandwiched in-between the 300 lbs. blob and the neo-hippy hairy-armpit lady from the Land of Never-takes-a-shower!! Hey, airline industry-TSA--see that over there? That's all the money you could be saving with a good anesthesiologist.
Will this book provide more explicit instructions, such as detailing the number and composition of candles necessary for a corrupting summoning ritual? I must have precise instructions this time, as my experience with Jacobs' Fiendish Codex did not go..ahem..as planned. There were, shall we say, slight complications. |
