Oomlowt Schwaa's page

-4 strength, +2 Dexterity, -2 Constitution

Modified Ability Scores:
STR: 12 - 4 = 8, Ability Mod: -1
DEX: 17 + 2 = 19, Ability Mod: 4
CON: 14 - 2 = 12, Ability Mod: 1
INT: 14, Ability Mod: 2
WIS: 11, Ability Mod: 0
CHA: 15, Ability Mod: 2

Darkvision (60 feet)
Light Sensitivity
+1 Natural Armor
Beast Bond: +2 to Handle Animal & Ride Animal checks, which are also class skills now!

AC: 16 = 10 + 4(dex) + 1(size) + 1(natural armor)
Touch AC: 15 = 10 + 4(dex) + 1(size)
Flat Footed AC: 12 = 10 + 1(size) + 1(natural armor)
CMB: -1 = 1(BAB) - 1(str) - 1 (size)
CMD: 13 = 1(BAB) - 1(str) + 4(dex) - 1(size) + 10
BAB: 1
Fort: 1 = 0 + 1(con)
Ref: 7 = 3 + 4(dex)
Will: 0 = 0 + 0(wis)

Light Crossbow (Small)
Attack: 1d20 + 4(dex) + 1(BAB) + 1 (Point Blank Shot) = 1d20 + 6
Damage: 1d6 + 1(BAB) + 1 (Point Blank Shot) = 1d6 + 2
35 Crossbow Bolts

Masterwork Dagger/Kobold Short Sword
Attack: 1d20 + 4(dex) + 1(BAB) + 1 (Masterwork) = 1d20 + 6
Damage: 1d4 + 1 (BAB) + 1 (Masterwork) = 1d4 + 2

Point Blank Shot: +1 to attack and damage against targets within 30 feet.

Rogue Talents
Rogue Finesse: This talent grants weapon finesse as a bonus feat. Weapons finesse allows the rogue to use dex in place of str for light weapons, like a certain short sword.

Rogue Abilities
Sneak Attack: If a rogue can catch an opponent when he is unable to defend himself effectively from her attack, she can strike a vital spot for extra damage. +1d6 damage.
Trapfinding: A rogue adds 1/2 her level to Perception skill checks made to locate traps and to Disable Device skill checks (minimum +1). A rogue can use Disable Device to disarm magic traps.
Evasion (Ex): At 2nd level and higher, a rogue can avoid even magical and unusual attacks with great agility. If she makes a successful Reflex saving throw against an attack that normally deals half damage on a successful save, she instead takes no damage. Evasion can be used only if the rogue is wearing light armor or no armor. A helpless rogue does not gain the benefit of evasion.

Fast Talker: +1 to Bluff checks
Brigand: +1 to Bluff, Diplomacy, Intimidate, & Sense motive checks against brigands, thieves, bandits, and other unsavory characters. Also start off with an extra 100gp in ill gotten gains.

1. Acrobatics: Dex 4
2. Appraise: Int 2
3. Bluff: Cha 2 + 1 (Fast Talker) + 2 Ranks + 3 Bonus Ranks (Class skill) = +8
4. Climb: Str -1 + 1 Rank + 3 Bonus Ranks (Class Skill) = +3
5. Craft (Trapmaking): Int 2
6. Craft: Int 2
7. Craft: Int 2
8. Diplomacy: Cha 2 + 2 Ranks + 3 Bonus Ranks (Class Skill) = +7
9. Disable Device*: Dex 4
10. Disguise: Cha 2 + 2 Ranks + 3 Bonus Ranks (Class Skill) = +7
11. Escape Artist: Dex 4 + 1 Rank + 3 Bonus Ranks (Class Skill) = 8
12. Fly: Dex 4
13. Handle Animal*: Cha 2 + 2 (Beast Bond) +1 Rank + 3 Bonus Ranks (Class Skill) = 8
14. Heal: Wis 0
15. Intimidate: Cha 2 + 2 Ranks + 3 Bonus Ranks (Class Skill) = 7
16. Knowledge (arcana)*: Int 2
17. Knowledge (dungeoneering)*: Int 2 + 1 Rank + 3 Bonus Ranks (Class Skill) = 6
18. Knowledge (engineering)*: Int 2
19. Knowledge (geography)*: Int 2
20. Knowledge (history)*: Int 2
21. Knowledge (local)*: Int 2
22. Knowledge (nature)*: Int 2
23. Knowledge (nobility)*: Int 2
24. Knowledge (planes)*: Int 2
25. Knowledge (religion)*: Int 2
26. Linguistics*: Int 2 + 1 Rank + 3 Bonus Ranks (Class Skill) = 6
27. Perception: Wis 0 + 2 Ranks + 3 Bonus Ranks (Class Skill) = 5
28. Perform: Cha 2
29. Perform: Cha 2
30. Profession*: Wis 0
31. Profession*: Wis 0
32. Ride: Dex 4 + 2 (Beast Bond) + 1 Rank + 3 Bonus Ranks (Class Skill) = 10
33. Sense Motive: Wis 0 + 1 Ranks + 3 Bonus Ranks (Class Skill) = 4
34. Sleight of Hand*: Dex 4 + 1 Rank + 3 Bonus Ranks (Class Skill) = 8
35. Spellcraft*: Int 2
36. Stealth: Dex 4 + 4 Size Bonus +1 Rank + 3 Bonus Ranks (Class Skill) = 12
37. Survival: Wis 0
38. Swim: Str -1
39. Use Magic Device: Cha 2

Carried Gear
Combat Gear
>Light Crossbow (small) (35gp, 2 lb)
>150 Crossbow Bolts (small) (15gp, 7.5 lb)
Clothing
>Masterpiece Dagger/Kobold Short Sword (1 lb)
>Explorer's Outfit (2gp)

Outfits
>Entertainer's Outfit (3gp, 1 lb)
>Scholar's Outfit (5gp, 1.5 lb)
>Artisan's Outfit (1gp, 1 lb)
Other Gear in Saddlebags
>Waterskin (1gp, 1 lb)
>Grappling Hook (1gp, 4 lb)
>Flint & Steel (1gp)
>Rope (Silken) (10gp, 5 lb)

Oomlowt was unnaturally mellow for a kobold even as a child, and as such he never bought into their xenophobic hate mongering against the other races. He did inherit their self centered world view, however, which made him perfectly suited for the lifestyle of a mercenary. The reptile sticks to a strict code of personal ethics that are more about good business practices than morality, and acts courteous and pleasant to all his customers regardless of their race, temperament, and alignment. He will take any odd job so long as it doesn't deal any damage to his reputation, whether it requires him to work as a thief, assassin, explorer, or what have you.
While completely amoral and self centered, Oomlowt isn't truly evil or even nasty. He merely puts himself above others in all of his affairs. The reptile is also intensely curious about other cultures and has taken to studying different languages and folklore in his spare time. He uses this knowledge to aid his various pursuits and aspires to be a master of disguise some day. The kobold even keeps a wardrobe full of alternate outfits just in case he ever needs to pretend he is someone else.
There is one other creature that Oomlowt values almost as much as he values himself, and that beast is his faithful dog, Woofles.

Oomlowt is fairly good looking for a scaly reptile man. His rust-red scales are shiny and well groomed, and his deep red eyes glint with a predatory intelligence. Like most kobolds, his body is spindly and frail looking yet still deadly enough in its own right.

Genesis of the Genius Assassin
The Origin of Oomlowt Schwaa
“What is this strange treasure?” asked the mongrel kobold. His scaly fingers clutched a leather bound manuscript that has belonged to the bleeding corpse on the floor of their den mere moments before.
“It’s a book, stupid,” snarled one of the older kobolds. Firelight glinted off his red scales as he furiously pawed over one of the other cadavers on the ground. The wretched humans they had slain were completely unprepared for the doom the kobold has laid out for them. It had seemed like a blessing at first, but when it came time to loot their bodies the red kobold couldn’t help feeling disappointed. No challenge meant little reward.
“Are those anything like scrolls?” asked the mongrel.
“Yes, cur,” growled the red kobold.
“Then why can’t I read the writing?”
“Because it’s a human book!” roared the red one. “Now do me a favor and throw it in a fire! Throw yourself in too if it suits you.”
“Why?” the mongrel yelped. “Why would we burn it?”
“It’s not kobold writing!” hissed a black scaled kobold. “What use can it be to read the verbal sewage that makes up their language?”
The mongrel sighed. He could not read the writing, but it looked so pretty. What would such pretty letters say? Would its words match their symbols in elegance and beauty? “I’ll see this is taken care of.”
“Don’t care,” grunted the red kobold. “Now shut your noise hole unless you find anything useful.”
~ ~ ~
Glohreng the kobold chieftain rubbed his brow in exasperation. “He stole a scroll,” growled the mightiest reptile in the tribe as he sat upon his rocky throne.
“Not just one scroll!” protested the high shaman. “Over the course of months he has ransacked half my library! Priceless primordial texts from the very dragons themselves have been defiled by the mongrel’s grubby ill-bred fingers!”
The chief silenced the shaman with a homicidal glare. “I understand,” he snarled with quiet yet forceful authority. “It is a crime of some magnitude, but I doubt it was worthy of my direct attention.”
“Oh, but that is not all your highness!” protested the shaman. The mage pointed a claw accusingly at the mongrel who sat in shackles at the other side of the room. “This lowly peasant was also found in possession of the foulest contraband!”
This finally piqued the chief’s interest. “And what exactly was this contraband?”
“Foreign texts!” the shaman sneered triumphantly. “Works writ by elves, halflings, dwarves, and humans! Works in the so-called ‘common’ tongue! This fiend, whose heart beats not with blood but with the foulest swill imaginable, has hoarded relics of other cultures! He has placed value on the works of non-kobolds!”
Glohreng’s eyes widened in shock. “What heresy! Speak, mongrel! Do you have any explanation for this unrepentant treachery?”
The mongrel looked up briefly, his eyes watering under the weight of his behemoth shame, but could muster no reply in his defense.
“Your silence shall be taken as a confession of guilt,” the chief said. “So we must determine the punishment.”
“Surely a crime of this caliber warrants death!” the shaman said.
The chief looked at the mongrel for a good moment. His gazed poured over every inch of the small kobold’s rust orange scales in hopes of sussing out the full extent of this peasant’s depravity. The mongrel was young and underfed. His hide bore more scars from the lash of a whip than from the heat of combat. This was not the body of a scheming upstart, nor did these dull, lusterless orange scales cover the muscles of a savage assassin. The cur was simply an idiot.
“Death is too good for him,” the chief decided. “And we are not creatures without reason. The punishment must fit the crime.”
The shaman scowled and seethed for a moment, but his protests were cut off before they could begin as the chief continued.
“The sentence has three parts,” the chief said. “Firstly, we shall reclaim our library’s lost relics from this lowly little thief. Second, we shall burn the cur’s books.”
The mongrel looked up with a sudden jerk of his head at this. Fresh tears pours from his blood-red eyes at the chief’s words.
“Ah, but the worst is yet to come, filth!” the chief said with a wicked grin. “You love the overworld, do you? Then I shall give it to you. From this day forth you are banished from our tribe’s land. But that is not all, mongrel! I shall send messengers to all our fellow tribes, and request they do the same to the tribes we do not know! On and on my word shall spread until every kobold knows your name, traitor! You shall never see your kind again. You shall never know the warmth of our tunnels, or feel the relief of our shade from the heat of the daytime sun! From this day forth your home is in the blistering light of the world above, and never more shall you know the kindness of your kin!” The chief turned to the shaman. “Does this please you, priest?”
The shaman’s scaly lips twisted into a malicious smile. “Oh, I am quite pleased your excellence.”
“Good,” the chief said. “Guards! Take the mongrel to his hut so he may witness the destruction of his property before beginning his exile.”
His heart broken, the mongrel did nothing but weep as he was taken away.
~ ~ ~
“Tally ho, comrades!” shouted Olaf the stout dwarf. He swung his muscular right arm forward and gestured towards the forest with his axe. “For ours is a noble quest!”
“Do you truly believe the orcs shall listen to reason?” asked Raxicalipafarilop, a frail looking gnome bard. She absentmindedly played with her bright purple hair as she looked into the gloomy woods, her slender fingers sliding through her locks with surprising grace considering the overbearing dread that filled her heart.
“If they don’t, they shall suffer my dark magycks!” sneered Pipweeze the Halfling sorcerer.
“Listen to the wizard!” Olaf bellowed gleefully.
“Actually I’m a sorcer-”
“We’re a formidable group!” the dwarf continued. “Nothing can stop our might! So let’s stow the prattle and soldier on!”
The plucky trio of adventurers strolled into the forest with all the confidence and bravado one would expect from the heroes of legend. In seconds they noticed a stark difference in lighting, as the thick trees that made up the forest were so effective at blocking the sun that most adventurers would need a torch to proceed. Olaf knew his crew was made of sterner stuff, though, and lead his two allies deeper still into the forest.
They were roughly sixty feet into the wild woods when Pipweeze hollered in agony.
“Wizard, what’s wron-on-on-awwwwwwrrgh!” was all Olaf could say before the entire trio found themselves being quickly torn off the ground and up into the tops of the trees. Everything happened too fast for Olaf’s brain, as it took him what felt like ages to realize they had been snared in a net. It took him longer still to realize that he felt small blades stabbing his flesh, for the net was made of some sort of barbed wire. Worse still, his body was cramping with pain and exhaustion, for the net had been dipped in some sort of horrible poison. The agonized groans of his companions told him they had come to similar realizations from within the deadly trap.
Minutes passed as the adventurers’ panicked thrashing dulled to a frenzied writhing before finally petering out into a feeble and sluggish squirming. The poison worked through their systems, paralyzing each member of the trio in its time. Soon they simply hung from the tree limply like the world’s strangest fruit.
In time the trap’s maker scurried out from the deeper parts of the wood. He was a small kobold with rusty orange scales wearing nothing more than a simple loincloth. While able bodied, it was clear to see that he was malnourished and far from healthy. The world was a cruel place, especially for a naïve and fragile kobold exile.
Fortune had finally smiled upon him, though, as these three adventurers were the best catch he had made in months. He could not help chattering gleefully to himself as he cut down the line supporting the net and watched the bundle fall to the ground with a sickening thud. The reptile was practically whistling as he sliced through his crafty trap and slit the throats of its three captives. His scrawny hands shook with excitement as he rifled through their clothes and luggage in search of valuables.
Oh yes, it was a glorious haul! They carried several daggers of finer make than the crude stone knife the kobold had crafted out of desperation. The dwarf’s mace was too heavy for the reptile to wield, but it could be used to make another deadly trap. Their rations made a wonderful banquet, and many of the halfling’s garments fit the kobold well enough. They carried currency and tools, blankets and tents, and a whole host of other goodies that could help the starving monster increase his dwindling chances of survival. Yet the greatest was to come…
His heart nearly stopped when his scaly fingers touched it. The leather binding was soft to the touch and its contents were of a pleasant weight. Awe seeped from the reptile’s face as his blood red eyes beheld the manuscript clutched between his talons. Its pages were faded almost to brown with age while its cover had been worn of its former luster by years of love and attention, yet in his eyes it shined like the brightest silver.
Though he could not read it yet, he would come to appreciate the title of this tomb, for it was the mark of his good fortune: The Common Translation Guide – How to Decipher the Guttural Squawking of Goblins, Lizardfolk, and Other Vermin Races by Ethrax Voltimer. A book would once again forever alter the kobold’s life.
~ ~ ~
Orange light flickered from the campfire and spread through the otherwise dark and foreboding forest scene as two rugged bandits nursed their wounds. “That could have gone better,” said Lurt, the shorter of the two rogues.
“Understatement of the century,” grunted Krelg. “That half-orc nearly took off my head!”
“Shame what happened to Jimmy,” Lurt replied.
“Yeah,” Krelg said with a nod. “Gonna have to replace him. Rebuild the team.”
“I don’t think anyone could replace Jimmy,” Lurt sighed.
“Course not,” Krelg grumbled. “But we need someone to do his job! Preferably someone expendable.”
“Where should we look, then?” asked Lurt. “I doubt the other thieves guilds would let us go out hiring after this debacle.”
“We’ll start at the southern border,” began Krelg, “And work our- wait, did you hear that?”
“What?” Lurt asked. The bandits took a moment to listen. At first they merely heard the crackle of flames and the distant song of a cricket. In time, however, they also heard the rustling of leaves and the pitter patter of tiny clawed feet. Krelg took out his crossbow and aimed it into the gloom. The scrabbling noise in the distance grew closer and closer as Krelg peered intently in its direction. A mighty twang tore through the air as the bandit fires his arrow into the distance. It was followed by a painful yelp as the archer made his shot.
“Looks like we got company,” Krelg said with a sadistic smile. “Let’s drop in and say hello.”
They heard its painful mewing first as they trudged through the woods. The reptile was only a few yards away from their fire, curled up in a fetal position and desperately clutching its arrow wound. The beast sobbed and groaned in agony as warm blood trickled from its shoulder.
“What’s a kobold doing alone in the forest?” asked Lurt. “I didn’t think there were any tribes around here.”
“There aren’t,” Krelg said. “Look at it. This one’s a stray.”
The frightened monster looked up at his attackers with wet, pleading eyes. “No kill!” it squealed. “Me no kill! Me look food for!”
“Is it speaking common?” asked Lurt.
“Trying to, at any rate,” Krelg answered. The taller bandit looked the kobold over. “Where’d you get that dagger, little stray?”
Not understanding the human’s words, the kobold reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of coins. “Shiny-shinies! Take!”
Krelg smiled and immediately pocketed the change. “Where’d you get those, stray?”
“Reckon I know,” said Lurt.
“No kill bigfeet!” the kobold protested. “Good good scaleface! No kill bigfeet!”
Krelg casually took out his knife and put it to the kobold’s throat. “Now listen here, scaly,” he said, “You got more shinies?”
The kobold nodded quickly.
“Good, good!” Krelg said with a smile. “You got shinies by killing bigfeet, right? Don’t lie.”
The kobold whined and looked around anxiously before finally nodding his head.
“Then here’s how things go, stray,” Krelg said. “You give me the shinies. I don’t kill you. You kill more bigfeet and take their shinies. You give me the shinies you take. And you do it again and again till I say you can stop. You understand?”
The kobold nodded again.
“Good,” Krelg said smoothly. “I think we found Mr. Expendable, Lurt.”
Lurt grinned. “Hope springs eternal!”
~ ~ ~
The fat little librarian flailed on the floor in a desperate attempt to crawl away, looking all the more like a stuck pig. “Oh gods, please protect me!” he called out as he scrambled on the hard marble floor towards the nearest bookshelf. He did not know how much shelter the structure would provide, but knew he couldn’t take any more arrow wounds.
A dreaded twang burst through the air as a fifth arrow struck the poor man’s side. He cried out in pain and slumped onto the floor, unable to go any further. “Please, no!” he screamed.
“Sorry bigfeet,” said the archer in the dark. The librarian heard the sound of scaly feet clacking on hard marble as his tiny assailant approached him. “You on bad end of fight-fight. No personal. Just need shiny-shinies.”
The librarian whined pitifully, and again all the kobold could think of was a pig on its way to slaughter. “Have mercy!” the fat man cried.
“Make kill quick,” the kobold replied. “Apology for pain. Just for shiny-shinies, you see.” The reptile quickly brought out his knife and slit the poor man’s throat. It wasn’t something he took pleasure in. In fact, he felt quite sorry for the poor fat man, even if his kobold upraising and current bandit masters had assured him that killing humans for money was completely justified morally. The chubby creature had seemed rather nice and harmless, and the kobold couldn’t begin to speculate why Krelg had ordered the fellow’s death.
This was true of all the assassinations the kobold had been ordered to do by his master, though. Even back when it was just the three of them – before Krelg had risen to the heights of the criminal underworld – his master’s orders seemed almost whimsical in their frivolity. The kobold obeyed them regardless, though, as he really didn’t have any options.
The reptile looked up at the bookshelves and realized for the first time what treasures the room held. Frivolous though his master may be, the kobold could not argue that his whims didn’t get results.
~ ~ ~
“Hello stray!” Krelg shouted with false warmth as his pet kobold returned from the job. The other bandits briefly turned to watch as their leader welcomed the scaly slave back into their hideout. Some raised a glass in an unenthusiastic toast to the hard-working creature, but most simply got back to their drinking and eating. “Did the librarian pay his dues?”
“Fat bigfeet is dead,” the tiny reptile said as he lugged a huge sack into the hideout.
“Good, good!” Krelg said with a smile. “That’ll teach the rest of this town to pay for their protection on time.” The bandit looked back at his reptilian slave and noticed the sack. “What have you got there, stray?”
“Books,” the kobold replied.
“What’s a scaly dirt eater like you gonna do with books?” asked Gork, a dwarven bandit.
“Oh, the stray has many peculiarities!” Krelg laughed. “You can take those back to your den if you please, scaly.”
“Good-good,” the kobold said as he scurried away. “Many thank!”
Krelg smiled as he returned to the table. “Sound investment, that one,” he said. “Remember when we found him, Lurt?”
“Mr. Expendable,” Lurt replied. “Seems a lot more valuable now, eh?”
“Oh, he’s good at what he does, no doubt about that,” said Krelg. “But he’s still a slimy little scale skin.”
“Is like animal on farm,” grunted Dormz the half-orc. “Can’t get attached.”
“Exactly right!” smiled Krelg. “Speaking of, where’s that dog? I feel like celebrating.”
The bandits looked to the far corner of the room. Sitting in it was a huge mutt of mixed pedigree. Its thick fur would have been fluffy and luxurious if it weren’t matted with blood and filth. The beast was large and imposing enough to look at, but Krelg had been disappointed to find it was cursed with an insufferably friendly disposition. Never one to lose a valuable asset, the bandit king had taken it upon himself to train the hound to be a proper killer. “C’mere you mutt!” Krelg shouted to the dog, who whined in reply. “Time for your whuppin’!”
Yelps of pain filled the feast hall of the thieves, who merely laughed as their leader violently kicked the pitiable creature. Only two souls in the building did not feel sadistic mirth at this spectacle. The first was, of course, the dog.
The second was the kobold.
~ ~ ~
In five years time the kobold’s luck seemed to have turned completely around. He had left his tribe with nothing but a loincloth to his name, and now he sat with his own chamber in the largest thieves guild in the city. He wore custom tailored clothes designed to fit his unusual reptilian frame, used the best weapons his master could procure, and, best of all, has amassed his own personal library. Could he ask for more? Of course. His leader was not a kind man, and while the kobold lived a comfortable life he was always keenly aware that he was little more than a slave. The comfort would only last so long as the kobold remained useful.
“Stray!” Krelg shouted from another room. “Got a job for you!”
“Coming sir,” the kobold replied. He plucked his crossbow off the shelf and entered the main room.
“Ah, good, you’re prepared!” Krelg replied. The bandit king was sitting in his favorite chair slurping down one of his many alcoholic beverages. “How did you know it’d be a killing job?”
“Because sir, it is exceedingly rare for you to send me on a mission that is not a killing job,” the kobold said.
“Right you are stray, right you are!” chuckled the thief lord. At that moment the dog trotted to the rogue’s side, its head and tail held low in a sign of deference. The bandit glared at the canine and gave it a swift kick to the neck before chuckling wickedly. “What a stupid brute! I’ve been beating this thing for two years straight now and it hasn’t learned even an ounce of cruelty from it! What do you think, stray? Is it a lost cause?”
The kobold frowned and adjusted his eyeglasses. “I believe the beast is a strong creature sir, and a valuable asset. It simply needs a different sort of education.”
Krelg laughed again. “I love how you talk fancy like that, stray! It’s like watching an ape play a trumpet.”
“I don’t understand the metaphor, sir,” the kobold said.
“Salright, lizard brain!” Krelg chuckled. “Just cause you try to sound like an intellectual don’t mean I take you for one. Let’s talk about the job.”
“That would be most agreeable,” the kobold said with a smile.
Krelg cleared his throat and frowned. “Right, well, this one isn’t easy,” he said. “Least not for me. Y’see, you gotta take out Lurt.”
“Your second in command?” the kobold asked with a raised eyebrow. “Why is he on the chopping block?”
Krelg shook his head. “I found this in his room,” he said as he handed the kobold a slip of parchment. “It’s a charter from the swordlords of Restov. They want people to explore the Greenbelt, and it seems like Lurt is tempted by the call. Guess he wants to be an honest man. Can’t have that, now, can we? Dissent in the ranks and the like. It could cause a whole mess of trouble for me. Maybe even end the whole gang.”
“Indeed,” the kobold replied. “You really think they’d overlook his past?”
“Swordlords don’t mind hiring thugs like us, so long as we step in line,” said Krelg. “They know there’s not really a difference. The only reason they want us dead is to cut out the competition. Switching sides is a very viable option for men like Lurt. I can see the temptation, I really can. That’s why we have to crack down on it.”
“So you’re not just worried about Lurt,” the kobold said. “You think any of the men could heed this call and abandon you.”
“Exactly right!” Krelg said with a smile. “You catch on quick.”
“Quite so,” the kobold said before firing a crossbow bolt straight into Krelg’s crotch. The bandit king screamed in pain and fell off his throne, writhing in a heap on the floor. “Consider this my resignation,” the kobold shouted as he leapt onto the abused dog’s back. “And I’m taking your hound with me!” The great canine barked cheerfully and took off at a furious speed, gleefully taking the kobold away from his master and on to freedom.
~ ~ ~
“You want to volunteer for the expedition?” asked the city guard. “You?”
“Quite right, chum!” replied the kobold.
“He speaks well for a scale-skin,” replied the second guard.
“Look, thing,” the first guard told the kobold, “We don’t just hire anyone. Our expeditions have to represent the kingdom.”
“And I would take that task to heart, my good fellow!” the reptile replied. “You will find I am incredibly qualified! I am fluent in common, undercommon, and draconic. I have spent years studying the manners of the aristocracy, and am also well versed in the tactics of the criminal underworld. I can be invaluable in your efforts to purge the Greenbelt of bandit influence.”
“Talks a good game,” said the second guard. “And we were told that the expedition party should be treated as, well, expendable. What’s more expendable than a scale-skin?”
“Good point,” said the first guard. “Alright, kobold, you’re on. Tell us your name and we’ll send you on your way.”
The kobold had not heard that question for a long time. He had long ago sworn not to use his old moniker, for it was surely tainted in the eyes of all by his chief’s decree. None could know he was the traitor kobold. And of course the bandits had never asked him the question. The just called him nicknames like stray, scaly, and filth-mouth. Perhaps it was time for a rebranding.
“My name is… Oomlowt… Schwaa,” the kobold said. He looked to his faithful steed, the beautiful dog he had rescued from his former master. “And this is my loyal riding dog… Woofles.”
The guards smirked at the kobold’s statement. “Well, Oomlowt and… Woofles,” the first guard said, “Welcome to the service of the state. Good luck to you!”
“Thank you!” the kobold said with a smile. “This is a glorious day for us all!”
The guards shook their heads as they watched the scaly adventurer scurry off. “Silly little thing,” the second guard says.
“I bet you ten crowns he’ll be dead before tomorrow,” the first replied. “Whoever heard of a kobold explorer?”