Trixie...Bushwacker Puffwuffle's page

I have had enough of going back and forth on what to kill and what not to kill. These people don't seem to have their priorities straight. first they hire kobolds to do the mining. Kobolds! Then they give a very cold shoulder to the gnomish farmers. Here we are trying to start a kingdom, and they turn away some ready farmers. How is that practical? Then to make matters worse they decide to go and kill a couple fey, for doing nothing more than protecting nature and they were ready to be peaceful towards us and asking for our aid. Killing that dryad was the last stall, they didn't kill the leprachaun who controlled the weather, but they go after the kill the creature that wasn't doing anything. that was the last straw. When we got back to town, I tied up loose ends, and placed things in to action. I am going to go and find some allies and go and deal with the den of kobolds. Oh, and to warn all the fey about the new "rulers" in the area that are out to kill all the fey! and by doing that will probably destroy any knowledge of a supposed path back to the first world.

*I got a turtle bed, turtle bed, turtle bed. I got a turtle bed oh the do da day!* (All of this is being sung of course :p) It all started with us going out and further exploring our new land. See we came to a cool pool/diving pool. Artemis wanted to reach the other side. And how does she think that she will cross to the other side? By jumping across! What a silly head. Seriously?! I mean, here is little ol' me. I mean you could just throw me across, or swim, or i don't know, maybe ask for the use of my ring that lets you walk across water?! Hmmm?! Tallies, go figure. So any way, back to my turtle bed. I offered her the use of my ring, to help her, and then half way across she gets attacked by this giant Turtle! Well, anyway, she gets attacked on the water, and of course she has my stupid ring! I really should just do this stuff my self. she was smart enough at least to lure the turtle back to me, so that I could get at it. so long story short, I kill the turtle, gut it, make some nice turtle soup and got a sled and TURTLE BED out of the shell! *I got a turtle bed, turtle bed, turtle bed. I got a turtle bed, oh the do da day!* Later that month we met up with a many headed snake thing!!!!!! Killed it, then went on to a mud pit with a giant plant thing to kill. During our explorations along one of the rivers we discovered a hut with a funny scarecrow and a pot of stew cooking. I decided that it needed some flavoring so i made it into stone soup. Then we killed the scarecrow, and the owner who came a little later. We went back to the keep to get a boat to keep going down the river. Stopped at the hut and four bears had moved in! how dare they! well we cleaned them out, but Artemis got herself mauled to death. Fischer brought her back in a halfling body! Hehe. The rest of the month was smooth sailing, killed a bunch of things, got a new weapon that I named Sparky, and helped some gnomes ford a river. My companions though were a little less than polite to the gnomes. I mean, they got to keep the kobolds! Don't I get to keep some gnomes? The next month we continued. The wolves are still following us, though I think that they are following Artemis, especially since she seems to be the one that sees them all the time. Plus, don't forget she keeps killing all these nature god's friends. We encountered a water zombie when we rang an old ferry crossing bell. All he wanted was the stag lord's body, so we gave him the skull. Then we came across a weepy leprechaun, who seemed to be causing the bad weather we had been having lately. so we had to go find his treasure. Oh boy, did I want to kill the sniveling little greedy guts. But nooooooo. We had to help find his pot of gold to stop the rain. Then when we found it and killed it's giant keeper, he disappeared too quickly for us to do anything about. Oh well, there is always next month. But while we pass the time doing our week of duties in the keep, I get to sleep and decorated my......TURTLE BED!

So I awake in the morning of when we are going to storm the Stag Lord's house, only to find that Murdook is gone. I guess I slept walked and catapulted him out of camp. I don't know if I actually did it or not, but it sounds like something I would do. To replace his aid in battle (as if it was needed with me here), we conscripted the fisherman and then stormed the place. What a big disappointment that was. The stupid dude was drunk, but I did my job and sliced him to pieces, and met a fellow barbarian, Akiros. Maybe we can train together. After we claimed the keep, I was given the job of executioner, and executed Sneed. Now don't get me wrong i don't mind being given the job, but I hope it is not all daisies. After making sure that Akiros was settled and well on his way to updating and cleaning the keep, we set off on more adventures as we explore and search for the bridge to the First World in the Green Belt. The days were all hum hum, until the 12th, then the party got started. We faced some TROLLS!!!!:P Boy that was fun. The trolls were swinging horse parts and I played back throwing troll parts. During the middle of it, Rilani got knocked unconscious. I was happy that I had got some reprieve with competing against her, but that doesn't mean I want to see her dead, what would be the fun in that? None. So I killed 2 of the trolls and figured to let my party members claim the rest. I hope we get to see more fun times like that in our new realm.

So Murdook and I are still fighting over who gets to claim the mini catapult, but I know that I'll win. I mean he gets the cool experience of becoming friends first with this little dragon with butterfly wings,(he tells me that it is a faerie dragon, like whatever the catapult is now mine). Then while we are traveling along on the trail of his new little friend he gets this awesome hairstyle, all spikey and everything. Maybe I'll be able to convince him to keep it that way and then we can use him as a battering ram. AWESOME! Then during the night along the way WE see this firefly skull that is cute, but they all say to kill it, I'm all for that! But do I get to kill it?! NOOOOOO! if i don't to kill something soon, someone will be hurt, and I won't be held accountable for my actions. We faced bandits, elk, and found more bear traps, but still no kills for me. WAHHHHHHHHH. Then we get to meet some wolves, but the hippy elf lady goes all cautious up to the one that is trapped in a bear trap, and knowing how they all feel about not killing when they don't need to I held back. First off, why is a wolf trapped in a bear trap? I mean, it's a "bear trap" not a "wolf trap". That big wolf should have known better. And then the other wolves get close to me and if they had taken another foot or paw closer I would have some nice wolf furs for my bed. Luckily for them they decided I was too cute to attack. As I thought they would have. Finally I got to kill something. It was a bear, and I took/stole my kill away from that female human...HAHAHAHA. Later in the week we met a fisherman and I showed him my catapult. I took one of his fish and SMACKED it on to it. I made such a great sound! and shot it back in to the river. I am itching to do it again. The good news is that Murdook is making his own catapult. I told you this one was mine. And so I win again, as if there was any doubt about it. I am so happy. It is mine, mine, mine. My little precious catapult. and to top it off we get to kill some more things tomorrow, like this Stag Lord dude. It is a race on between Rilani and myself to get that kill, but i know there is no race, and soon she will too. Especially as it is now confirmed to everyone that the precious catapult is now only mine, mine, mine!

So here I am, traveling with a bunch of long shanks and a gnome crazier than me. Don't get me wrong I like jumping into leaves and treasure, but out here in the wilds I know to watch my step. You just don't go head long into something, unless it's a fight, and get snapped up into a f$*^%# bear trap. And those bandits almost kill my dog!?!?! Oh, the b*&^* had to go! no if and or buts! Hehe, and boy did she go squish. Granted it wasn't some of my prettier work, but I was in a rush. And those stupid little blue mites, those were so squishy! Now that was fun. But then we had to go and make friends with the kobolds?!?! I mean who does that! If they so much as lift a finger out of place and touch my dog, no more Miss Cute Gnome! I do not feel the least bit sorry about destroying their cage or anything like that. I just hope we leave here soon, or I won't be held for any of my actions. But on a personal note, that cavalier isn't to bad with the sword, whether she knows it or not, the battle is on for the most kills.