Goriath the Balor

Mynameisjake's page

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Full Name

Anthony Jacob Hensley


AKA MrJake, Master of Puppets, Hellbilly.


Epic Level Grognard


I once met E. Gary Gygax. He was very nice.


He autographed my copy of the 1st Ed. PHB.


Even though he had just said, "No more Autographs, folks. I have to go."

Special Abilities

He didn't even make me ask.


He just saw me standing there, looking disappointed.


He frowned, then held out his hand, signed, and gave me a smile.


This was at GenCon in '80 or '81. I was 14 or 15.


His daughter was there as well.


I remember thinking that she was very pretty.

Homepage URL

According to Firefox, my homepage is www.google.com

About Mynameisjake

I secretly despise my players and enjoy their characters' suffering.

My goal is to someday learn all of their emotional buttons so that I might play them like a well-tuned accordion, taking them to epic highs and devastating lows.

If I ever master such a technique, I shall use it to harvest their tears to distill into what, I imagine, would be the finest Ambrosia.

One of my players has nine toes.

I had nothing to do with that.

The nearest town is very small, yet sports not one, but two Friendly Local Gaming Stores. I consider myself blessed.

I do, however, suspect that at least one is a front for organized crime. Possibly both. I am oddly pleased by this.

I have been in a shoot-out, a car chase (unrelated), and had two photographs in the New York Times. I can't say with certainty which I am more proud of.

Winston Churchill and I agree that sometimes dangling prepositions are preferable to convoluted language.

I believe that a writer should attempt to live a life as interesting as his or her characters.

I did, however, steal that from another writer's bio. Unfortunately, I can't remember who's it was.

A friend once asked me to store his motorcycle over the winter. When he hadn't come to pick it up by midsummer, another friend and I decided to practice our "restoration" skills. We got his wife's permission first, but neglected to mention that we had chosen Barbie Doll Pink (tm) as the color. He thought it was funny. His wife never forgave us.

I live in a very nice neighborhood that sits next to a large lake and a state park. It is so far in the sticks, however, that I often must resort to using "dial-up" for reliable internet access. We can't even get cable here.

Yes, that sucks.