Mike Alchus's page

Would love some critique for my posted item: Boots of the Swarming Mischief
Thanks!!

This is my 4th entry into RPGSS and I made it past all the culls, which I found surprising (pleasantly of course). Thanks for all the up-votes I received, there was some amazing entries this year and I'm shocked at some of the ones I have seen in here that i thought were def top 32 worthy! This year really motivated me to try and reach out to more places with submissions.

Boots of the Swarming Mischief
Aura faint illusion and conjuration; CL 3rd
Slot feet; Price 15,200 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description

This footwear, easily overlooked as discarded scraps, appears as a decrepit pair of old boots fashioned from the least quality leather its tattered remains held together with lengths of old twine. When worn in swamplands, or in a sewer it conveys its wearer with the ability to become engulfed within a swarm of rats.

Upon activation, for up to 5 rounds per day the wearer is covered head to toe by hundreds of rats granting them all the traits associated with the swarm subtype as well as, upon a successful melee touch attack, the ability to utilize the rat swarm’s disease attack once per round (see the Pathfinder RPG Bestiary). The wearer, when using the swarm ability, cannot end their turn in an occupied square. While covered by the swarm, the wearer can continue to act as normal as if the swarm was not present. When the five rounds are over, or the swarm is dismissed or dispelled the user is granted invisibility as per the spell for the next 3 rounds, appearing to disperse as part of the rat swarm.

When otherwise not activated, the boots grant the wearer a +4 competence bonus to Disguise checks when attempting to appear as a commoner or beggar.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, invisibility, summon swarm; Cost 7,600 gp

11% battery life left. This is getting real real...

Thanks for the review man, I knew it was going to be a bit over the top, and that the chainsaw would be a bit much, but when i saw that in the tech guide I loved it coming in as a big horror fan. I try to be as descriptive as possible, so that's a plus, and I appreciate the pro tip with the charges, I will def take that to heart.

I am always more worried about getting the creative (description-wise) on point. I will def start putting that focus into mechanics...

Thanks again for taking the time!

^ So that was all of page 12... Also I did 167 twice so correcting it here

173) Tormentor
The Good: I loved the visual here with the oily black ichor, seriously I'd love to game with you just based on that sentence.
The Bad: You're in dangerous territory with a chainsaw
The Ugly: Aaaaand we go straight into a campy splatterpunk theme as this thing screams like a B-movie starlet and causes all the teenie boppers to run.
Overview: 1 star for me as this broke the 4th wall in a bad way as it's just not the type of horror I'd consider playing mash-up with in a fantasy game. The mechanics are fine except the absurd umber of uses (pro tip if you go over 5 daily charges just key it off an ability instead or better yet don't pretend there's a limit.)

Mark, thanks for the feedback, your time is very much apprecaited. Hindsight, I can certainly see the issue with the friendly fire. When you mention does not follow the rules correctly, would you be able to give me a brief example how it does not?

Thanks again!

*Price/Cost don't match

*Does not follow the rules correctly

*Major friendly fire on the shaken

*Sentence starting with "While...

Steven, any feedback on my entry for this year would be greatly appreciated!

I saw a few posts of ppl that just dismissed tech-based items all together, but I would certainly love some critique that goes beyond that. Thanks!

Tormentor
Aura moderate necromancy and enchantment; CL 7th
Slot none; Price 47,300 gp; Weight 7 lbs.
Description
A terrifying weapon to behold, this chainsaw’s (Technology Guide) 2-foot-long blade extends from a large black rock carved into the shape of an octopoid creature, it’s tentacles oozing a black oily ichor. The blade itself is surrounded by teeth that seem to have been attached haphazardly. The weapon’s handles are scorched bones protruding from the blade’s base.

When this +2 chainsaw is activated, the teeth surrounding the blade spin blindingly fast producing an unnerving sound akin to that of people screaming in terror. Anyone within 30’ of the wielder who hears this must make a DC 16 Will save or become shaken until the chainsaw is turned off (the wielder is immune to this effect). Once per day as a swift action, the wielder may designate a target within sight to be the victim of Tormentor’s madness, invading their mind so that the wielder appears as an unfathomable mass of demonic eyes and razor sharp teeth. The first time this target is struck by Tormentor they must make a DC 16 Will save. A successful save causes the victim to become frightened until the wielder’s next turn, while a failed save causes the victim to temporarily (1d4 rounds) descend into insanity, becoming panicked. While in this panicked state, Tormentor causes an additional 2d6 of non-lethal damage per hit.

Tormentor can be activated up to 10 times before it has been drained for the day. It recharges each night at midnight.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, crushing despair, fear; Cost 23,650 gp

I saw a few posts of ppl that just dismissed tech-based items all together, but I would certainly love some critique that goes beyond that. Thanks!

Tormentor
Aura moderate necromancy and enchantment; CL 7th
Slot none; Price 47,300 gp; Weight 7 lbs.
Description
A terrifying weapon to behold, this chainsaw’s (Technology Guide) 2-foot-long blade extends from a large black rock carved into the shape of an octopoid creature, it’s tentacles oozing a black oily ichor. The blade itself is surrounded by teeth that seem to have been attached haphazardly. The weapon’s handles are scorched bones protruding from the blade’s base.

When this +2 chainsaw is activated, the teeth surrounding the blade spin blindingly fast producing an unnerving sound akin to that of people screaming in terror. Anyone within 30’ of the wielder who hears this must make a DC 16 Will save or become shaken until the chainsaw is turned off (the wielder is immune to this effect). Once per day as a swift action, the wielder may designate a target within sight to be the victim of Tormentor’s madness, invading their mind so that the wielder appears as an unfathomable mass of demonic eyes and razor sharp teeth. The first time this target is struck by Tormentor they must make a DC 16 Will save. A successful save causes the victim to become frightened until the wielder’s next turn, while a failed save causes the victim to temporarily (1d4 rounds) descend into insanity, becoming panicked. While in this panicked state, Tormentor causes an additional 2d6 of non-lethal damage per hit.

Tormentor can be activated up to 10 times before it has been drained for the day. It recharges each night at midnight.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, crushing despair, fear; Cost 23,650 gp

Amulet of the Selfless

Aura faint abjuration and enchantment; CL 3rd

Slot neck; Price 8,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.

Description

Usually cast in the image of a golden cherub whose softly glowing eyes and halo are set in mithral, this amulet extends a divine protection to healers who seek to provide aid to those in dire need. If the wearer of this amulet is subject to an attack of opportunity caused by healing an ally (be it from a spell directly cast, a spell-like ability, an item, or a Heal check), or attempting to stabilize a fallen ally, and the attack roll indicates a hit, up to three times per day, the amulet negates the attack. A missed attack does not reduce the total number of charges available. If the amulet's wearer possesses the healing domain, the total available charges increases by two per day (to a maximum of 5). The amulet regains it's charges at dawn every morning. Any attacks of opportunity made against a creature of evil alignment wearing this amulet receive a +2 modifier to hit.

Construction

Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, compassionate ally, grace, creator must possess the healing domain; Cost 4,000 gp

Have the kickstarter backed copies shiped as of yet? I hadn't seen any notification yet and am curious as to whether it is still projected for a Jan release.

Thanks!

Congrats all, welcome aboard!!

The Washington, DC Metro Area's new virtual home is transitioning to Meetup.com. If you are in the area (we basically have you covered from Fredericksburg, VA up towards Columbia, MD), or will be in the area for one of our many gamedays, Please feel free to signup! 100% free of course!

We have games coming up this weekend in both Fredericksburg (our first "official" foray into this area) and Falls Church, VA. As well as many more upcoming PFS games and a monthly mini-painting class (this will be very helpful once all those Reaper Kickstarter packages start rolling out!).

If you have any questions about PFS in the DC area, please feel to stop by the meetup group, or contact me directly at PFSVentureCaptainDC at gmail dot com.

Thanks!

Hello all!

I just got back from Gencon a few days ago and am STOKED to play some more PFS. Any leads in the NOVA or DC area would be much appreciated.

Regards,

Welcome to PFS Adam!

As Michael Pointed out above, the Yahoo group is the best place to head to to get started. You will be able to receive regular updates from the group as well as sign up for our Warhorn site (which we use to schedule games). There is indeed a lot of activity in the DC metro area so you should never have much of an issue finding a game. We have regular game days 2/month and there are usually games going on almost every weekend. Feel free to sign up on both sites and get started! We look forward to having you at our next game!

That Gug model looks AMAZING. Will it be on display next week? I'd love to see it up close!

Honestly, that may push me over the top to subscribe to the line...

No, the fairest method of all would be nobody gets to play a 'boon race'. Do you really want to go there?

Actually, maybe the opposite?

What if everyone upon registering for the PFS got the option to add to their downloads a single race boon that is stamped like other Paizo downloads so it could not be given away. It could also be worded so that people knew it was a "Welcome to the Society" boon so if it wasn't tagged to that person it wouldn't be valid.

Maybe give them a choice from 4 or 5 different races, I know people will complain that they one they wanted weren't on the list, but such is life (which has been repeatedly noted already...). Maybe from the first few races that were initially offered to keep the newer ones fresh and still a bonus for con attendees.

I know people might be quick to say "then all we will see are these new races at every table", but i don;t think that is the case. I have 3 or so race boons from both cons and the Beginner Box Bash, and I haven't used one yet. While I certainly will use one at some point, I also like the existing races that I grew up playing this game with.

Just a thought...

Ask and you shall receive. However, your item actually does fall into many of the pitfalls we've already covered. Like many designers, it's probably just hard for you to recognize it when it pertains to your own creation...

Thanks Again Neil!

I thought that by modifying (even slightly) some of the spell effects (longshot - only expanding the first increment for example) that might avoid some of the SIAC pitfalls. But I do see your point, and I can definitely see some potential for abuse.

I appreciate your time and look forward to next year!

That's a pretty good list of lessons to examine, but I'm sure there are more out there. They're just becoming difficult for me to find without becoming repetitive. So, for anyone who's interested in seeing more of these reviews over the next few days, I have a challenge for you. Please examine the categories from the "auto-reject" advice and then bring an item to my attention...

Morning, Neil,

Let me then (before everyone / anyone else has the idea) present my item from the "Critique My Item" thread. The judges feedback didn't really indicate any of the above from your list as a rejection reason so looking to my own work seemed like a good place to start!

"The Deadeye's Snuff"

Thanks!

Wow, these look outstanding! Love the Denizen, can't wait (I also just got my H&M brick, and the Ettin - among others- looks amazing "in person").

And with that done, I'm going to put this up here too;

Take Three! And the last one before I go on my vacation. Have a good one, boards, I'll see you in a few weeks!

Deadeye's Snuff** spoiler omitted **

Thanks for the feedback!! Some great pointers on things that I missed (alphabetizing the spell list, and using traditionally in my item description) as well as the ambiguously placed save at the end. Guess that wasn't really needed, but I was thinking that since Paizo's official desc for Tobacco use has some liability, I would include a touch of that. Prob not needed.

I did find some references on the web (and we know the internet is always right!!) of chewing tobacco being referred to as snuff. I did wrestle with the name before submission, I thought Deadeye's Snuff sounded better than Deadeye's Twist (as this description was a form of "Twist Tobacco" - odd how much i read about the stuff considering i hate tobacco lol).

Thanks for getting my item in before your vacation :)
Enjoy!

Mike Alchus wrote:

The Deadeye's Snuff

*Do we really want to incent magical tobacco snuff? At 6,500 gp per lot of ten pieces? I'm not really a fan of this...despite the designer reaching for something related to the gunslinger class.

*Weak Reject.

*Reject.

*Reject.

*Rejected.

Thanks for taking the time to post this feedback Neil!

While you may not want to incent magical tobacco, I did get the inspiration for using tobacco from a pathfinder book (where the properties were listed).

I was originally going to make this item in the form of eye lenses or a scope (but I wanted the first ability to be usable by other ranged weapons, not just firearms). After listening to the podcast you guys put up and after seeing the tobacco description, I thought it would be a bit more original / creative.

I do hope my presentation and mechanics were more solid though as that was my main problem from last year. But reading all the feedback in this thread will no doubt help once again!

Thanks guys!

Thanks in advance for any critique of my entry. It is, as always, very much appreciated!!

The Deadeye's Snuff

Aura moderate divination and transmutation; CL 7th

Slot -; Price 6,500 gp; Weight -

Description

Almost black in appearance, this deep red tobacco is traditionally spun into long rope-like strands, enchanted, and cut into 10 smaller pieces. As the user chews on a portion of the snuff (a standard action which provokes an attack of opportunity) an unusual calm and focus envelops them. For the next hour any ranged attack made with a thrown or projectile weapon has it's first range increment extended by 10 feet.

If the user possesses the grit resource, spending a point of grit immediately cancels the previous effect and allows them to harness their enhanced focus and let fly a single shot at their highest bonus up to their weapon's maximum range as a ranged touch attack while suffering no penalty for range, ignoring concealment provided by fog or mist, blur, displacement, invisibility, and similar effects. A person can only benefit from one dose of this tobacco each day. Attempting to use another forces a DC 13 Fortitude save, with failure indicating the user is nauseated for 1d3 rounds.

Construction

Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, longshot, hunter's eye; Cost 3,250 gp

Thanks guys, that is very helpful.

I'm going to go back and look at two versions one with and one without and see which "feels" Superstar. Then right after I hit submit, feel horribly and know I should have chose the other version :-).

Clark,

Thanks for the heads up.

So, basically even if we have a significant amount of left over words, you would discourage adding say a sentence worth of flavor from the beginning? Just more or less leave well enough alone for the first round?

Thanks again, your (and the rest of the judges) insight on the boards (and especially that panel recording) has been invaluable for this year!

I've never liked the idea of sanctioned modules, so I don't care for even further integration of modules into PFS.

I also don't like the idea of changing play beyond level 12. If people like their PFS characters and want to continue to play them, why not just play them outside of PFS? Why is it necessary to shoe-horn additional rules in place to officially support playing past the level cap? ("Because some players want it" is a cop-out answer. Some players want psionics, savage species, spelljammers, epic rules, etc. Level cap at 12 and be done.)

-Skeld

I have to say I think these changes are all great. I think PFS play should be as all-inclusive as possible. If some people are able to spend the time to get their characters up to that level, why not let them progress higher and higher? It makes no difference to my lower level characters what other groups of pathfinders are achieving as far as level gains go.

I do agree that you can't cater to everybody's whim, like psionics, savage species, etc. However when enough of a player base asks for something and in this case expanding the level cap (and in the past, sanctioning module play), if it is doable, why not? Doing something like expanding the level cap through sanctioned modules does not affect the rest of the PFS player base at all. If you don't like sanctioned modules, that's that. You'll never have to worry about these proposed rule changes. When and if I'm able to get a character into position to reach 12th level at least I'll be able to make the "what's next" decision, and not know automatically that his time is just about at an end.

A Raven carries a slew of Medium Lasers and either a SRM6 or a Narc Launcher already...

That was awesome...

On the offensive familiar front, how about using a delayed blast fireball, drops the bead onto the enemies... bit higher level, sure. But it certainly is offensive :).

This should give me plenty of time to plant the necessary seeds...

I am going to Washington DC in November (11-16th) for a conference. And was curious, if there any groups which play PFS during that time and would take me up for a game? Or is there any RPG convention I could go to for half a day? Hope to get a response back, many thanks in advance.

Hello!

We have our scheduled PFS game days on the 5th and 19th of November (no help to you I realize), but if you head over to our Yahoo group (http://games.groups.yahoo.com/group/Pathfinder_Society_DC/) you may be able to find people who can accommodate your schedule (there are usually enough people willing to play almost any day with enough notice).

Good Luck!!

It appears that our processor recently made a change to their database. Due to an error in that process, all merchant names in their database were changed to "DESPINOS TIRE SERVICE MANSFIELD". They do not currently have an ETA on when this will be resolved.

However, payments are still coming through to us so it looks like it affects only what the transaction is called, not who it is going to.

LOL.

Thanks for the clarification!

I'm guessing you all can't rotate my tires then?

OK, I've read the FAQ and I understand how that since I've already pre-ordered, if I subscribe, that will be cancelled and replaced by the subscription. But will the pre-auth on my account happen again once I subscribe? If that is the case, then I will prob wait until the current hold falls off later this week...

All in all though, really looking forward to these (that Black Dragon looks amazing)!

Anyone know if there is a restriction on what can be enchanted on a firearm, or are they treated just like any other ranged weapon? Thanks.

As far as I have seen / read they are treated just like any other ranged weapon.

This was my first GenCon as well as my first foray into PFS GM'ing. I had planned well in advance to attend GenCon this year, and when I saw the initial call for PFS GMs, I leaped at the opportunity to run 8 slots. I have played (and GM'ed) PF for a while so it wasn't that much of a leap for me.

I can certainly echo some of the issues already raised, the noise level, partially losing my voice by Saturday morning. But all in all I had a great time not only meeting the Paizo staff and PFS players, but getting to interact in person with a lot of the people I see day in and day out on these boards.

I ran 4 different mods (including the special) and thought that worked out pretty well for me. Out of 8 tables ran, I can think of only 1 or 2 slightly difficult players, and even then, everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. I had one table of 7 (the Special) and it didn't cause any real issue.

Above all else this experience at GenCon has given me a much larger appreciation of the PFS players, GMs, and Paizo staff that help design and organize. I'm looking forward to being a lot more involved in my local PFS community as both a player and GM, maybe hit a few more cons in my general vicinity and then be right back next year as a volunteer for PFS.

Thanks again to all the VCs who answered my questions, and Paizo staff who made my life a bit easier!!

Are people's opinion's generally that this isn't an easy mod, it just really seemed like it to me, maybe I wasn't running it right somewhere (hopefully not).

Did people like the stuff I added in, or thought it was definitely unnecessary? I just felt this epic 3part module deserved more challenge, but maybe I had strong partys...

I ran this in 4 slots this past weekend and compared to the other mods I ran for the other 4 slots this was by far the least challenging to the players (IMO). Not one of these slots sniffed the 3 hour mark, and the last 3 times I ran it it only made it about 2.5 hours becasue I added an extra mob to the end (an Ice Mephit with Sorcerer levels) that greatly increased the encounter time.

The only really challenging encounter each time I ran it, was the wolverine (and then again only when playing in the 4-5 tier). I did have one player die during the stampede, but that was more of a fluke as it was the only time it happened. Most other encounters they steamrolled through.

I really did like the story arc for the 3, but I did think challenge-wise the last part fell a little flat.

On that note however, everyone seemed to enjoy themselves, and I didn't sense any level of frustration regarding the slot only running 2+ hours.

Thurs:
1-6 3-02: Sewer Dragons of Absalom
7-12 3-02: Sewer Dragons of Absalom

Fri:
8-1 2-24: Shadow's Last Stand, Part II--Web of Corruption
1-6 2-19: Shades of Ice, Part III--Keep of the Huscarl King
7-12 Blood Under Absalom

Sat:
8-1 2-19: Shades of Ice, Part III--Keep of the Huscarl King
1-6 2-19: Shades of Ice, Part III--Keep of the Huscarl King
7-12 2-19: Shades of Ice, Part III--Keep of the Huscarl King

...inspired by a page of half-drunken notes I scribbled in Vegas while we spoke on dark subjects.

I guess this time "what happens in Vegas" escaped...

I am looking for an extra banquet ticket if anyone has one available, or if someone's becomes available :).

Judges, thanks a ton for providing this feedback, as a first time submitter this will def be invaluable for next year!

Belt of Sudden Elasticity
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 11th
Slot belt; Price 61,900 gp; Weight 1 lb.

Description
This pliable leather belt appears to have a plain silver buckle. If examined closely, the owner sees a continuous roiling throughout the buckle. While worn, the wearer feels as if they are able to twist their body into almost any position, granting a +5 bonus to all acrobatics checks. Upon speaking the proper command word the wearer appears to take on an undulating form allowing their limbs to stretch well beyond normal reaches. This grants the wearer reach as if they were two size categories larger, while still retaining their normal size. The wearer can activate the undulating form as a free action for a total of up to 10 rounds per day.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item , cat’s grace, fluid form; Cost 30,950 gp

I agree with most of what has been said thus far. This is one of the more innovative items I have seen. I love the idea behind the shaping mechanics, especially using it as a longer range beam attack against undead!

A tightening up on the requirements will only help you in the coming rounds, I am looking forward to see what else you have to offer. Great work!

I've managed to narrow it down to one final idea which is pretty fleshed out. Just started putting it on paper.

Neil Spicer wrote:

Sean McGowan wrote:

Wait... the penalty for not making the top 32 is DEATH? Dude, Paizo got major harsh this year. Guess you really were the softest judge.

::gleefully rubs his hands together while making an evil grin:: :->

Darn it! Our souls now belong to Neil Spicer.

In Neil's Hell all of our board responses are limited to 25 words or less...