Common, Infernal, Abyssal, Celestial. The 3 extraplanar Opera languages yes!
Occupation
Opera singer
Strength
10
Dexterity
19
Constitution
12
Intelligence
12
Wisdom
8
Charisma
20
About Lucretia de Valois
background carefully hidden trait in character, as well as Infernal and Abyssal proficiencies:
Yes mother? Lucretia, or Lucy to her friends, asked.
Are you ready for your lessons? Her mothers stern voice asked
Here we go again Lucy thought
As if the effing Peoples revolutionary central comitee gives the slightest f$~# about the daughter of someone of an offcial from the Comitee de la revolucion Populare which is like, 3 violently Galtean transfers of powers in the past... She thought
Have you done as I asked? Her mother asked
Yes, I have attached recently purchased human hair, with the same hair colour as my own, to my own hair, in a way that will make this hair fall off first, resulting in hair droppings by me not being traceable to me, and I did fully incinerate any nail clippings because of course I do. She spoke, reciting parts of her daily routine.
Excellent, now, in your play in infernal, you have used second degree of male inferior to male, rather then male inferior to female when the unlucky Crusader hero attempts to bargain with an Erinyes. Do you understand the gravity of this? Her mother asked.
Mom, you did read ahead and read that the Erinye is so pissed about it she strips him, ties him up, and is ready to throw him, naked arse first, on a conveniently placed Mendevian church spire, at which point he sings an aria to convince her to not do that, catastrophically fails and the Erinye throws him on a bunch of demons instead? He does splat the Incubus leading them, by falling on top of him, and then catastrophically succeeds in bluffing the Demons, currently high on Demon Cocaine, that he is the Incubus. The Demons of course are just in the way of the crusades elite forces. Lucy recounts the humourous operas, titled "The extremely unlucky crusading hero" further progression
Sacre Bleau, Demon Cocaine? Is it Cocaine that affects Demons or is made from Demons? Her mother inquires
Uhhhm, Yes? Lucy answers, utterly nonplussed
....
Crafting Shenigans:
So, how do I actually do that? She thought. The Opera house was simply to poor to have Eryines company trappings, meaning she need to do a lot of rope work and wiring for the Sing an Aria while being hefted in the air by an Erinye, while mostly naked and tied up Good thing that Feather Fall makes the whole affair a lot less risky.
Air step? Could work, the excaggerated motions arent the worst for our purposes and I can actually cast this. I am playing the Erinye, so I need to beat some fake wings, while also singing, and partly lugging Vincenso our main act around. Can probably use mage hands for the beating the wings part. She thought
Hmm, how do I fake an Erinye rope? Animate rope? Could do this via spell kenning, or ideally I have a stagehand doing it from under the stage. Yeah, that would work! Would be a really useful utensile for other purposes, so lets see if I can make it permanent somehow!
Censor:
What? Lucy asked, the effing Chelish did what? They banned your play for "pro Nocticulan demonic propaganda" Answered her boss.
But she doesnt even appear in the first 3 acts which we send to the censors? All her cultists and demons are doing are backstabbing and fornicating, typically both at the same time, which I wish to add is scientifically accurate! Lucy exclaimed
On Page 15, the Succubus outflirts the Erinye and he boss answered
Are you serious? Erinyes dont flirt! Lucy speaks, with conviction born from experience
Her infernal censor is of the opinion that they could outflirt everything if they set their mind to it says her boss
What else? Lucy asks, nearly breaking her nose facepalming
On page 28, several hell knights die combatting minor demons such as Schirs. A Hellknight getting killed by a Schir is direct heresy, because a Hellknight is stronger then a Barbed Devil, and thus clearly stronger then any Demon other then maybe a Balor He boss says, reading in verbatim from some letter with a Chelish seal.
Barbed Devil? Hellknigths fight Bearded Devils not Barded ones! Fighting a Barbed one is close to suicide Lucy Doublefacepalms.
Lastly, on page 66, the extremely unlucky hero bluffs an infernal strike force into believing that he is a deep cover agent of hell hierarchy, clearly, no mortal could possibly achieve such a feat! But they just abduct him, which gets him a trip to Cania? He did not succeed in anything? Wait, did the censor just stumble over a simple triple negation, also known as the like 4th most common "trick a mortal" grammatical construction in infernal? Lucy, being out of arms to facepalm with, vigorious slams her head into her desk.
Did it occur to you that the censor may have been, lets say, grammaticarilly challenged? Either way, why dont you scram for a bit, perhaps for that charming market festival in Phaendar while I smooth things over? The censor having failed there can give me enough rope to get you out of their shitlist, but it is preferable for you to pack your things for now. Her boss states
Will do boss She answers, doing just that.
crunch:
Feats:
Shield Focus (Level 1)
Weapon Finesse (Human)
Craft wondrous item (level 3)
Extra Rage Power savage intution (Level 5)
Rage powers:
Spirit totem
Campaign trait: Diva in training
Trait: Irrepressible
Carefully hidden
Drawback: Vain
Equipment:
+2 CHA headband (4K)
+1 Darkwood buckler (1030)
MwK Alchemical Silver Rapier (300+90+20)=410
+1 Chainshirt (1100)
+1 ring of protection (2K)
+1 cloak of resistance (1K)
Some spare change left
Equipment with crafting:
+2 CHA headband (2K)
+2 Dex belt (2K)
MwK Alchemical Silver Rapier (300+90+20)=410
+1 Chainshirt (1100)
+1 ring of protection (2K)
+1 cloak of resistance (1K)
offense:
Ghost Slams from spirit totem
+3 BAB +5 CHA
1d4+5 negative energy damage
Rapier AB=
+3+4+1=+8 AB
Damage=1d6
defenses:
HP=4*5 (class hp average +1) + 8(level 1) + 5 (con)=33
AC= 10+4 (Dex, depending on rage)+ 5 (chainshirt) + 3 (Buckler with shield focus)+1 (ring of prot) =23
Flat footed)=19
Touch=15
Fort=+5+1=6
Ref=1+3/4=4/5+1 =5/6 depending on wether performance is on
Will=4-1+1+1=5/11 vs charm/compulsion, and indepedent +1 vs divination effects
Spells:
Favored class to spells known
Cantrips: Spells known 6+1=7
Dancing lights
Mage hand
Detect magic
Prestitigation
Open/Close
Ghost sound
Message
Level 1
4+1=5 spells known
Animate rope
Tears to wine
Grease
Hideous Laughter
Ear piercing scream
Level 2:
3 spells known
Heroism
Bladed Dash
Blindness/Deafness
Skills:
Human =4+1+1 Skill points per level
Versatile performance Sing (Bluff, Sense motive)= 5+5+3+1=14
Diplomacy=1+5+3=8
UMD=5+5+3=13
Acrobatics=3+3+3=9
Perception=5+3-1=7
11 SP remaining
Spellcraft=5+1+3=9 (main crafting skill)
6 Skill point remaining for lore skills
