L. G. G., C. o. t. 101st G.A.R.'s page

Son, I am disappointed.

<Backstab!>

ORDER

I am now leaving. But I think I'll keep refreshing this thread until test time. Fish is not particularly worried about this test, because he is good at math. Apparently he has taken to narrating his own actions in a manner befitting his username on another board, but he does not care. He also appears to be speaking with excellent grammar. He puts this down to being in a militaristic alias. Of course, he himself is an alias and so should not be talking about aliases in such a manner. Fish now exclaims, "I CANT STOP TALKPING LIEK THIS GUISE WAIT NOT LIKE THIS LIKE THAT ECEPT NOW I BROKE OUT EXETP ONLY SORTAF>."

He is quite odd.

Note to the reader: The username "Fish" is Human's username on several platforms because he is amazed that such a simple four-letter word has not been taken. He obviously mixes things up from time to time to keep himself fresh and "ill." However, Fish's manner of speaking should not be taken as an attempt to emulate the esteemed Mr. Fishy, who the reader should recognise as their one true god (after, obviously, The Flying Spaghetti Monster, Inglip, Andrew Hussie, and ckret2, in no particular order of importance or sincerity).

Fish would like to say, "I'm gone" now. He will in his next post, assuming his intentions remain the same and his electrons do not mysteriously teleport away, or any other anomaly resulting in death or inability to remain on the computer for several seconds after this post "goes up."

^^Thank you.

That's the Military Industrial Complex for those of you who don't speak acronymese.

I am occupying this thread!

<Calls in friends in the MIC.>

Fortunately, I'm still around. <Regrows alter ego.>

Captain Kid Rime wrote:

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Kruelaid wrote:

Ummm. 13.

Nope, not 13 either.

Papers please.

Is there a problem here, Captain?

Field Marshal of Greenman? Pfft.

Does anyone remember what GAR stands for?

taig wrote:

Treppa wrote:

Nah, I are writing review. :P

EDIT: And done!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

Hope I don't get a lot of Haterade[tm] from dragon fanbois. :(

Oh, and you are very welcome! :)

Anyone who hates on KQ gets hated on by me!

Edit: Oh s%~~, that's just gonna feed them more.

Edit1: Wait, do you mean just normal fantasy dragon "fanbois" or Dragon(R?) fanboys?

You know, I think I'll just sterilise this thread.

<Carpet-bombs thread.>

No more slaadi, kobolds, humanoid cephalopods, or smvnfs.

Ah, but I have two egos! And they're physically separate! You can't "glomp" onto both of us at once.

Also: <Runs up and grapples Wolfie, then activates self-destruct.>

Like Star Trek!

Now, is he

1. A kobold in denial, engaging in cannibalism to protect himself or
2. A kobold in disguise, using cannibalism to bolster his disguise or
3. A sick little kobold cannibal claiming to be a goblin to a) be in with the Paizo goblin cool crowd b) seem tougher than a kobold?

Look at my stats, plant-man.

Eew. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!

Zombie: PMG has always loved me, so I'm not sure how to help. Too bad it isn't James Jacobs or Erik Mona. I could help you there.

Gark: You know who often likes to wear skulls on top of their heads? Especially skulls of that shape? Kobolds. Are you sure you are really a goblin?

Hey, watch it! Just gave myself +3 plant bane scythe!

Edward Cullen wrote:

*sparkles*

He`s so brooding and dreamy *screams loudly*

Stake-shoots both.

It's a specially designed crossbow with short range.

Urizen wrote:

Jeremy Mcgillan wrote:

Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

Gary Teter wrote:

I think I prefer my puffin roasted. Or lightly toasted. A puffin frosted would be nice, so long as that puffin is delicately iced. Puffin is good when roasted over wood. But barbecued puffin, all lathered in sauce? That, I think, would be quite boss!

{wacks the PMG with a nun ruler} No, no, NO! You don't go eating the nice Puffin, even if he is covered in BBQ sauce... we don't eat our friends.

'Sides, it's actually duck-, er, pony season.

I love puffins. I had 2 for lunch today.

So, you're saying you had a mouth load full of puffin?

*snerk*

With a load of my milky sauce...

Birds don't do that!

A few pics of our backyard.

They're so cute!

Bang! Bang!

. . . And relieve the excess population.

Seriously, though, these things are going crazy with the having of the babies and the not having of the predators.

The Ghost is based on Malthus upon whose work was based the eponymous theories of Malthusian catastrophe. He's an interesting figure.

All hail Abadar!

It's time to put the "Christ" back in "Christmas!"

Die! Die! Die!

Gark the Goblin wrote:

Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

Gark the Goblin wrote:

Crimson Jester wrote:

Kosha

That's not very explody.

He has a tinker gnome cohort named Mikhael Bhey that makes up for it.

Failed knowledge (whatever) check. I do know tinker gnomes though (and hate DragonLance).

Michael Bay blows more things up before 9AM than the US military does all day. :)

{books a group of gully dwarves, tinker gnomes, and kender to carol at Gark's house}

You don't want to try that, ma'am...

Horny Sarah Palin Follower wrote:

Hmm... I seem to have wandered away from Sarah's bathroom win- I mean, the political aliases thread.

Hey, anyone seen Sarah?

I don't have anyone to annoy...

Hey! All of you! Clear off! Directs the GARS to attack the interlopers, then shoots with grenade launcher.

And a Happy and safe Halloween from me, the angsty and heroic renegade drow scout and his faithful astral puma companion!

Shoots ditzy "dude."

Reporting for duty, now that my homeland has been destroyed.
What's that? A dretchachaun? Get 'im, boys!
A buncha airborne goblins with guns fill Shanky with bullets.

Hagfish wrote:

Yeah, he was pretty cool.

Hey! Where'd you come from? You have to introduce yourself before you enter this thread!

GARS! Destroy that interloper!

We must stop the menace of this horrible being interrupting our threads and shouting "BRAINS!!!" With your consent, Lord Moorluck, can I reposition all of the GARs to take care of it?

{tumble in through the doors, already pretty sloshed}

Drew: Hey, has anyone seen our older brother, Hugh? He's got some new Wolf-R-Reem thingie he has to start casting for, but the producers can't find him

Stew: Forget him for now -- babes and brewskis are everywhere! It's like heaven in here!

Celestial Follower wrote:

<Drops magic marker into Angel Fish's bowl>

Angel Fish wrote:

AIII!! *Cough cough cough* Can't...breathe...through poison...

Drew: That's handy. {fishes magic marker out} Thanks Fishie! Gonna need this to write down some sheilas' phone numbers.

Mr. Jackman is on the run from the law. If you see him, you are legally obligated to turn him in or face charges of conspiracy and obstruction of justice, which carry execution penalties.

!Death to Moorlockovia!

What do you mean we used all the missiles on the poodles?

Directs 200 GARs to shoot the WMoY.

L. G. G., C. o. t. 101st G.A.R. wrote:

War Minister of Yunevrherdofus wrote:

!Death to Moorlockovia!

What do you mean we used all the missiles on the poodles?

It's Paizonia, not "Moorlockovia."

*Runs back in, pausing to respond to G.A.R.*

No, we're attacking Moorluck's country, not Paizonia.

Um... Moorluck's country is Paizonia (formerly the USA, now the USP).

!Death to Moorlockovia!

What do you mean we used all the missiles on the poodles?

It's Paizonia, not "Moorlockovia."

Lord President Moorluck wrote:

Joe Sixpack wrote:

I would recommend that you take the first lady and the kids to see Ice Age 3 Mr. President. It is a hilarious movie for all ages.

If it's as funny as the first to I plan on having it projected on the moon for National Family Movie Night, one of my better ideas, IMO.

Well, the second one sucked, and was much worse than the first. here's hoping 3 will be better.

Shoots the terrorist with his rocket launcher.

Dick Cheney wrote:

I'm tough to spot because I'm usually in hiding.

Grabs his +3 blessed human bane lightning burst potato peeler, then chases after Dick, brandishing it.

Come back here, sir! Lord Prim- I mean "President"- Moorluck loves spotted dick!
Snatches a +5 heat-seeking paintball gun from one of the president's munchkins.
Well, I can spot you while I chase you!

Hey! Lord President Moorluck already has a chef! He doesn't need you!

A bunker in an undisclosed location.

Anyone seen that dick?

English 'Chef' wrote:

Dick Cheney wrote:

I'm tough to spot because I'm usually in hiding.

Grabs his +3 blessed human bane lightning burst potato peeler, then chases after Dick, brandishing it.

Come back here, sir! Lord Prim- I mean "President"- Moorluck loves spotted dick!
Snatches a +5 heat-seeking paintball gun from one of the president's munchkins.
Well, I can spot you while I chase you!

You can spot me, but you can't catch me.

*hurries into a waiting helecopter, which promptly flies him to a bunker in an undisclosed location*

I'll see your undisclosed location, and raise you a political alias thread.

Lord President Moorluck wrote:

Sytt, Lesser Yugoloth wrote:

Lord President Moorluck wrote:

As the rulers of new Paizonia, My Cabinet and Myself don't "godmode", we are Gods.

Um, this a single trhead. You don't control the Jacks, you don't control the Poodles, and you barely control any subjects!

Other threads are outside New Paizonia. I don't control, I encorage free thought and independence.

Fine. You're an idiot, with stupid hair.

Shoots the heretic who just happens to not have any hair.

Who was--oh well. Gah!

*Avoids attack*
You could have hurt me there! I'm getting out of here...into the kitchen!
*Runs into kitchen*

Um... I'm still chasing you, remember? Or was that someone else? Either way, the chef is gonna kill you with his +5 axiomatic acid burst yugoloth bane ladle of whacking.

*There was an RPG Superstar entry about a druid who had a spell that made communicable contagion.

L. G. G., C. o. t. 101st G.A.R. wrote:

Sytt, Lesser Yugoloth wrote:

Chief Chef to Pres. Moorluck wrote:

Sytt, Lesser Yugoloth wrote:

Chief Chef to Pres. Moorluck wrote:

Sytt, Lesser Yugoloth wrote:

What?

*Looks in mirror*
GAH!! I'm...ugly...er.
*Shrugs*
So, why do you need my help to make soup? All you have to do is put some boiling water in the pot and jump in (Suggestion).

Ahh! You've made poodle noodle soup before! Come with me to ze kitchon! I ave a pot of water already boiling!

Alright, sure!

(curses, he made his saving throw)
Look, a distraction!
*Pushes Moorluck into pot*

Sacre Bleu! Ze poodle just pushed ze President into ze pot! Somebody help! Help!

Yes, ze pot is zat ... *ahem* that big! Hey, can't have poodles climbing out, can we?

Bad doggie! Bad!

*Puts lid on top*

Dwarf soup is the best!
Ugh, this avvy's messing up the FFRPing. Plot Polymorph!

Umm... the Lord President is in Argentina right now. I don't think you can really push him in a pot when he's in Argentina and you're in the capital of Paizonia. Anyways... Shoots the yugoloth with his rocket launcher. Fishes the chef out of the pot with an enormous ladle and drops him in a vat of sour cream. Calls the medics.

*Medics come and heal Sytt*

Whew, thanks. That was close. Hey, watch where you point that gun! You might mess up the kitchen!
*Runs off*

That dog's a threat to security. I'm gonna take a division of GARs out to exterminate him.

Chief Chef to Pres. Moorluck wrote:

Sytt, Lesser Yugoloth wrote:

Chief Chef to Pres. Moorluck wrote:

Sytt, Lesser Yugoloth wrote:

What?

*Looks in mirror*
GAH!! I'm...ugly...er.
*Shrugs*
So, why do you need my help to make soup? All you have to do is put some boiling water in the pot and jump in (Suggestion).

Ahh! You've made poodle noodle soup before! Come with me to ze kitchon! I ave a pot of water already boiling!

Alright, sure!

(curses, he made his saving throw)
Look, a distraction!
*Pushes Moorluck into pot*

Sacre Bleu! Ze poodle just pushed ze President into ze pot! Somebody help! Help!

Yes, ze pot is zat ... *ahem* that big! Hey, can't have poodles climbing out, can we?

Bad doggie! Bad!

*Puts lid on top*

Dwarf soup is the best!
Ugh, this avvy's messing up the FFRPing. Plot Polymorph!

Umm... the Lord President is in Argentina right now. I don't think you can really push him in a pot when he's in Argentina and you're in the capital of Paizonia. Anyways... Shoots the yugoloth with his rocket launcher. Fishes the chef out of the pot with an enormous ladle and drops him in a vat of sour cream. Calls the medics.

I think this thread is too long and off topic. Can we get back on track here, guys? This is Paizo after all. We have standards to uphold.

Shoots the "goddang hippeh" with his rocket launcher.

Walks in, shoots the capitalist/communist/antiPaizonian/dictatorship impostors who offend the great nation of Paizonia (with his rocket launcher). Walks out.

L. G. G., C. o. t. 101st G.A.R. wrote:

Walks into the Circular office.

Lord President, it looks like...
What is Hugh Jackman doing in the Circular office?!? Get out of our thread, stupid Brit!

Shhh! I'm hiding! Be quiet you stupid git!

And I'm Australian, not a gorram Brit!

Oh, okay. We have... "friends" in Australia. We're gonna take over the world with them when they've been successfully indoctrinated.

Walks into the Circular office.
Lord President, it looks like...
What is Hugh Jackman doing in the Circular office?!? Get out of our thread, stupid Brit!

Lord President, you get a minus to your leadership score for killing your own lackeys. It may be epic, but it's never gonna get close to Obama's if you keep killing people.

Lord Secretary War-Bucks wrote:

*Dons black hooded robe, grabs scythe, and starts walking toward Karaoke Ashe*

Sorry Aberzombie it has to be done

*points finger at Karaoke Ashe* Your time is up, time to go on a vacation takes a step closer and swings scythe at neck level to Karaoke Ashe

*steps out of his private chambers wearing black robes and hood weilding a scythe*

So how does everybody like the new duds?

*sees War-Bucks*

Ah damnit! Why is it everytime I get a new suit, somebody else has one just like it!?

*strides away after beheading several gaurds in frustration*

No, no, Lord President! Behead the karaokers, not the guards!

Lord Secretary War-Bucks wrote:

*Dons black hooded robe, grabs scythe, and starts walking toward Karaoke Ashe*

Sorry Aberzombie it has to be done

*points finger at Karaoke Ashe* Your time is up, time to go on a vacation takes a step closer and swings scythe at neck level to Karaoke Ashe

~ducks below the scythe~

All our times have come
Here but now they're gone
Seasons don't fear the reaper
Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain..we can be like they are
Come on baby...don't fear the reaper
Baby take my hand...don't fear the reaper
We'll be able to fly...don't fear the reaper
Baby I'm your man...

Valentine is done
Here but now they're gone
Romeo and Juliet
Are together in eternity...Romeo and Juliet
40,000 men and women everyday...Like Romeo and Juliet
40,000 men and women everyday...Redefine happiness
Another 40,000 coming everyday...We can be like they are
Come on baby...don't fear the reaper
Baby take my hand...don't fear the reaper
We'll be able to fly...don't fear the reaper
Baby I'm your man...

Love of two is one
Here but now they're gone
Came the last night of sadness
And it was clear she couldn't go on
Then the door was open and the wind appeared
The candles blew then disappeared
The curtains flew then he appeared...saying don't be afraid
Come on baby...and she had no fear
And she ran to him...then they started to fly
They looked backward and said goodby...she had become like they are
She had taken his hand...she had become like they are
Come on baby...don't fear the reaper

Starts shooting the Karaoke guy with his rocket launcher, then calls a squadron of GARs over to help "fertilize" the garden.

Gilli Gan wrote:

How are we ever going to get off this island?

I don't know... Can you remember why the professor can't fix a four-foot hole in a boat again?

Shoots the weird people with his rocket launcher. Maybe we should recruit some of the ayuppies from the Untitled thread to work as security. These "dang hippehs" are causing chaos!

Rusty the Poodle wrote:

<Looks at Moorluck's Rustmonster, dreamily> Can I play with you? <Bats eyelashes>

Sorry to kill the mood, Rusty:

"But they're cousins, identical cousins all the way;
one pair of matching bookends, different as night and day.

* Crap, I think I've been possessed by Karaokeheart!!! *

"Still they're cousins, identical cousins and you'll find
they laugh alike, they walk alike, at times they even talk alike.
You can lose your mind ... when cousins are two of a kind!"

Wait... how is it possible for a slaadi ghost to be possessed?

Draws Thank you, sir! I'm afraid I've forgotten what GAR means, sir! Puffs

Or a stabilize and a plane s!*+.