The Angry Jack Cult


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Hungry Jack wrote:
• 1 cup Hungry Jack® Microwave Ready Butter Flavored Syrup

Gah! There's no need for "butter flavored" syrup. Just use butter.


Butter Patrick wrote:
Hungry Jack wrote:
• 1 cup Hungry Jack® Microwave Ready Butter Flavored Syrup
Gah! There's no need for "butter flavored" syrup. Just use butter.

Why not use butter and butter flavored syrup.

Or better yet wrap a sausage link in bacon, spread butter on it, wrap that up in a pancake, then put butter flavored syrup on that, Oh I can feel my artieries clogging just thinking about it.


Jack'n'Coke wrote:
Butter Patrick wrote:
Hungry Jack wrote:
• 1 cup Hungry Jack® Microwave Ready Butter Flavored Syrup
Gah! There's no need for "butter flavored" syrup. Just use butter.

Why not use butter and butter flavored syrup.

Or better yet wrap a sausage link in bacon, spread butter on it, wrap that up in a pancake, then put butter flavored syrup on that, Oh I can feel my artieries clogging just thinking about it.

Yeah your cardiologist loves you, you keep him in Porsches and Bentleys


Hungry Jack wrote:

Banana Flapjacks with Maple-Cinnamon Syrup

Breakfast!


Wow, we got a lot of pages. Clearly we are talking about something important. *hic*


The Jackskunk wrote:
Wow, we got a lot of pages. Clearly we are talking about something important. *hic*

Whoa a Jackskunk, is it a result of the same process as a Jacknape? Forgive me I am new here


Jack'n'DietCoke wrote:
The Jackskunk wrote:
Wow, we got a lot of pages. Clearly we are talking about something important. *hic*
Whoa a Jackskunk, is it a result of the same process as a Jacknape? Forgive me I am new here

no, it's the result of a Deathskunk becoming a Jack. Don't make me kick you into the poodles.


Morning Jacks, nobody go into the bathroom for at least 15 minutes if you value your sense of smell.

...

Ooo banana pancakes!


Malice Jack wrote:

Morning Jacks, nobody go into the bathroom for at least 15 minutes if you value your sense of smell.

...

Ooo banana pancakes!

15 minutes? Lightweight!


Jack Hammer wrote:

JH stirs, and eventually wakes up.

"How'd I get here?" he sees the big hole in the ceiling. "That must be how all those acorns are gettin' in!"

"Lyn! Looks like you have Dire Squirrels nesting in your ceiling!"

"Well, I do now, hon. But don't worry, I called the Acme people and they'll be by later."


lynora-Jill wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:

JH stirs, and eventually wakes up.

"How'd I get here?" he sees the big hole in the ceiling. "That must be how all those acorns are gettin' in!"

"Lyn! Looks like you have Dire Squirrels nesting in your ceiling!"

"Well, I do now, hon. But don't worry, I called the Acme people and they'll be by later."

"Cool."

"I'd normally get some hair of the dog for this hangover but with the poodles running amuck around here I think I'll just suffer this thru."

"Any tacos left?"


Jack Hammer wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:

JH stirs, and eventually wakes up.

"How'd I get here?" he sees the big hole in the ceiling. "That must be how all those acorns are gettin' in!"

"Lyn! Looks like you have Dire Squirrels nesting in your ceiling!"

"Well, I do now, hon. But don't worry, I called the Acme people and they'll be by later."

"Cool."

"I'd normally get some hair of the dog for this hangover but with the poodles running amuck around here I think I'll just suffer this thru."

"Any tacos left?"

*runs through the clubhouse with the last taco* YAP! YAP! YAP!


Jack Hammer wrote:
"I'd normally get some hair of the dog for this hangover but with the poodles running amuck around here I think I'll just suffer this thru."

{knocks on clubhouse door} Hello? Delivery for a Mr. Hammer, a Mr. Jack Hammer. Wait- that can't be right!? That sounds like a prank name. If this is another stupid prank, I'm gonna kick some f!+~ing a** back at the office.


Jack J. Jackson, Beer Delivery wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
"I'd normally get some hair of the dog for this hangover but with the poodles running amuck around here I think I'll just suffer this thru."
{knocks on clubhouse door} Hello? Delivery for a Mr. Hammer, a Mr. Jack Hammer. Wait- that can't be right!? That sounds like a prank name. If this is another stupid prank, I'm gonna kick some f#@~ing a** back at the office.

"Oh, hi! Come on in. He's in the other room. I was hoping you'd be the Acme repair service since he put a hole in my ceiling, but at least if you're bringing beer that's likely to get him ambulatory again, and I can have my room back."


Jack J. Jackson, Beer Delivery wrote:
{knocks on clubhouse door} Hello? Delivery for a Mr. Hammer, a Mr. Jack Hammer. Wait- that can't be right!? That sounds like a prank name. If this is another stupid prank, I'm gonna kick some f~!&ing a** back at the office.

{checks watch, shouts:} OK, I can't wait any longer. I have to get back to the brewery. This was already billed to your account, so I'm just gonna leave it here at your front door. {unloads five giant kegs of beer, tears off and leaves delivery receipt}

<bonk!>

Stupid F@&*ing squirrels. I'm gonna kick some a** at the office, then come back and chainsaw that f#*+ing tree down. G*dsd*mn squirrels! {shakes fist angrily at squirrel-infested tree, stomps back to horseless steam-powered delivery wagon, and roars off down the road at a blistering 7MPH}

Edit: D*mn, ninja-ed!

{glances in rear-view mirror, spots lovely young woman at door} SCREEEEEEEECH! {puts wagon in reverse}


Runes though teh clobberhaus, teh sekind-too-lest tuckoe inn hiss mowthe. YEP! YEP! YEP!
Poodles.


Jack J. Jackson, Beer Delivery wrote:
Jack J. Jackson, Beer Delivery wrote:
{knocks on clubhouse door} Hello? Delivery for a Mr. Hammer, a Mr. Jack Hammer. Wait- that can't be right!? That sounds like a prank name. If this is another stupid prank, I'm gonna kick some f~!&ing a** back at the office.

{checks watch, shouts:} OK, I can't wait any longer. I have to get back to the brewery. This was already billed to your account, so I'm just gonna leave it here at your front door. {unloads five giant kegs of beer, tears off and leaves delivery receipt}

<bonk!>

Stupid f%&%ing squirrels. I'm gonna kick some a** at the office, then come back and chainsaw that f%&%ing tree down. G*dsd*mn squirrels! {shakes fist angrily at squirrel-infested tree, stomps back to horseless steam-powered delivery wagon, and roars off down the road at a blistering 7MPH}

Edit: D*mn, ninja-ed!

{glances in rear-view mirror, spots lovely young woman at door} SCREEEEEEEECH! {puts wagon in reverse}

Gearbs uh geck off bear, ten nurs of thiw itt inn hiss mowthe.


Puddle wrote:
Gearbs uh geck off bear, ten nurs of thiw itt inn hiss mowthe.

{attempts to punt Puddle, but is far too distracted staring at Lynora-Jill. He does succeed in forcing poodle to drop the beer keg.}

Let me put these kegs in the kitchen for you. {As he stares at LJ, his jaw keeps dropping open, and finally his eyes sproing cartoonly from sockets}

Sorry, miss, er, that doesn't normally happen. {clicks eyes back into head, uses duct tape to affix jaw shut} *MMMMM, it smells like pancakes and tacos in here*


Look out! It's a dragon!


The Jackskunk wrote:
Look out! It's a dragon!

That was a big poodle, but hardly dragon-sized.


Jack J. Jackson, Beer Delivery wrote:
Puddle wrote:
Gearbs uh geck off bear, ten nurs of thiw itt inn hiss mowthe.

{attempts to punt Puddle, but is far too distracted staring at Lynora-Jill. He does succeed in forcing poodle to drop the beer keg.}

Let me put these kegs in the kitchen for you. {As he stares at LJ, his jaw keeps dropping open, and finally his eyes sproing cartoonly from sockets}

Sorry, miss, er, that doesn't normally happen. {clicks eyes back into head, uses duct tape to affix jaw shut} *MMMMM, it smells like pancakes and tacos in here*

Giggles. "Yeah, I think the tacos are gone. Jack Hammer decided to have a taco party last night, which would have been fine if he hadn't then decided to go squirrel hunting, fallen through the roof and landed in my room. Thank goodness for Acme room deodorizers," she adds with a wink.

"But there should be plenty of pancakes. Hungry Jack makes sure we never run out. Help yourself," she adds with a smile.


Jack J. Jackson, Beer Delivery wrote:
Sorry, miss, er, that doesn't normally happen. {clicks eyes back into head, uses duct tape to affix jaw shut} *MMMMM, it smells like pancakes and tacos in here*
lynora-Jill wrote:

Giggles. "Yeah, I think the tacos are gone. Jack Hammer decided to have a taco party last night, which would have been fine if he hadn't then decided to go squirrel hunting, fallen through the roof and landed in my room. Thank goodness for Acme room deodorizers," she adds with a wink.

"But there should be plenty of pancakes. Hungry Jack makes sure we never run out. Help yourself," she adds with a smile.

{grins like an idiot, brain slips out of gear} Um, thank you, miss. {heaps pancakes onto a Styro-gnome plate, starts cutting them into heart shapes}

*Hearts?! I think I may be having a catastrophic breakdown!! Now my face feels hot!!! I think there must have been a drunk gnome on my assembly line.*

*No wait, she keeps smiling at me. AUGH! That's it... she must have a Turn Male to Idiot gaze attack! Or a nymph's Blinding Beauty and Stunning Glance!!! She must be mighty powerful for it to affect a golem like me*

{sighs contentedly, pokes self in face with a forkfull of pancakes, having forgot his jaw is taped shut}


Thank you for the pancakes, miss. Tell that Mr. Hammer fellow I'd be happy to deliver beer here anytime. {holds jaw closed with hand until he is out of range from LJ's magical womanly wiles}

{He hops back into beer wagon, looks over his shoulder at Lynora-Jill, waves happily, and then distractly drives over some pedestrians.}

{Yells at pedestrians under wagon:} Hey, watch where you're walking!!! I'm driving here!!! You better not have scratched the paint or I'll come back and kick your f$%!ing a**es!!!

Scarab Sages

Here's another delicious Hungry Jack® breakfast for all you true Jacks.

Creamy Potato and Sausage Breakfast Bake

Ingredients:
• Crisco® Original No-Stick Cooking Spray
• 1 pound pork or turkey bulk breakfast sausage
• 1/2 cup chopped onion
• 1/2 cup chopped green pepper
• 1/2 cup chopped red pepper
• 1 (4.9 oz.) package Hungry Jack® Four Cheese Potatoes
• 2 cups boiling water
• 1 (12 oz.) canPET® Evaporated Milk
• 6 large eggs
• 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder

TOPPING
• 1 1/4 cups Hungry Jack® Mashed Potatoes, Flakes
• 5 tablespoons butter, melted
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 2 tablespoons chopped chives

Preparation Directions:
1. HEAT oven to 400°F. Coat 13x9-inch baking pan with no-stick cooking spray. Cook sausage in skillet over medium heat until browned. Remove from heat. Drain, if necessary. Stir in onion, green pepper and red pepper.
2. PLACE potatoes and cheese sauce mix from packet in medium bowl. Stir in boiling water. Whisk evaporated milk, eggs and garlic powder in large bowl. Stir in potatoes and sausage mixture. Pour into prepared pan.
3. For Topping: COMBINE potato flakes, butter and salt with a fork until evenly moistened. Stir in chives. Sprinkle on top of potatoes. Bake 25 to 30 minutes or until potatoes are tender and top is golden brown. Let stand 10 minutes before serving.
TIP To prepare the day ahead, follow directions through Step 2. Cover and refrigerate overnight. Heat oven to 375°F. Stir together topping ingredients, then sprinkle over top of potatoes. Bake 35 to 40 minutes or until potatoes are tender and top is golden brown. Let stand 10 minutes before serving.

Yield: 12 servings
Prep Time: 15 min
Cook Time: 30 min


Waves at the nice, but obviously very distracted beer delivery guy drives away. Sighs and goes to provide some curative spells for the wounded pedestrians. Just as she gets back to the house the Acme van pulls up.
"Hey, JH, time to vacate the premises. They're getting ready to start the roof repair and install the new closet security system I ordered. And your beer delivery just arrived. It's in the kitchen."

Scarab Sages

Hungry Jack® has been feeding families like yours for nearly 70 years. From the launch of Hungry Jack Mashed Potatoes in 1967 to the innovation of the reheatable microwavable Hungry Jack Syrup bottle in 1994, Hungry Jack has been gathering families around the table for good times, great food and that delicious Hungry Jack taste. That's why everybody’s happy when it's Hungry Jack™!


*Runs in*
Give me your Jackapult!


Jack J. Jackson, Beer Delivery wrote:
Puddle wrote:
Gearbs uh geck off bear, ten nurs of thiw itt inn hiss mowthe.

{attempts to punt Puddle, but is far too distracted staring at Lynora-Jill. He does succeed in forcing poodle to drop the beer keg.}

Let me put these kegs in the kitchen for you. {As he stares at LJ, his jaw keeps dropping open, and finally his eyes sproing cartoonly from sockets}

Sorry, miss, er, that doesn't normally happen. {clicks eyes back into head, uses duct tape to affix jaw shut} *MMMMM, it smells like pancakes and tacos in here*

That usually does happen. She's used to it. Thx for the beer.

EDIT: too slow. had to shut down early last nite


lynora-Jill wrote:

Waves at the nice, but obviously very distracted beer delivery guy drives away. Sighs and goes to provide some curative spells for the wounded pedestrians. Just as she gets back to the house the Acme van pulls up.

"Hey, JH, time to vacate the premises. They're getting ready to start the roof repair and install the new closet security system I ordered. And your beer delivery just arrived. It's in the kitchen."

"Cool. More beer."

wanders off to the bar to check the brand(s), and make sure they're on ice, casually glancing at the receipt

For the Acme crew chief

Spoiler:
then sneaks to talk to the crew chief to make sure that the cameras are installed in the Jill's shower room, tipping with a fresh keg and a hundred gold


King of Yunevrherdofus wrote:

*Runs in*

Give me your Jackapult!

*smacks the King of Yunevrherdofus, stunning him briefly*

"Make yer own!"

*loads the King of Yunevrherdofus into the Jackapult so that he can get a close up look at the workings, then launces him into the Slaad thread*


Watches flying person recently launched from Jackapult.

"Who was that?"


lynora-Jill wrote:

Watches flying person recently launched from Jackapult.

"Who was that?"

"Just some thief, demanding our toy. I gave him a close up look at it so he can go make his own."


Jack Hammer wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:

Watches flying person recently launched from Jackapult.

"Who was that?"

"Just some thief, demanding our toy. I gave him a close up look at it so he can go make his own."

"Oh. Okay. Say, you wouldn't be kind enough to take me shopping would you?"

*bats eyelashes and smiles charmingly*
"Since all of my clothes were stolen I need to buy replacements."

The Exchange

War Minister of Yunevrherdofus wrote:

!Death to Moorlockovia!

What do you mean we used all the missiles on the poodles?

It's Paizonia, not "Moorlockovia."


lynora-Jill wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:

Watches flying person recently launched from Jackapult.

"Who was that?"

"Just some thief, demanding our toy. I gave him a close up look at it so he can go make his own."

"Oh. Okay. Say, you wouldn't be kind enough to take me shopping would you?"

*bats eyelashes and smiles charmingly*
"Since all of my clothes were stolen I need to buy replacements."

"Sure. I hear Victoria Secrets is running a sale. Everything is half-off! I'm sure Callous won't mind us using his credit card."


*Grabs a case of PBR and goes down into the basement*


Jack Hammer wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:


"Oh. Okay. Say, you wouldn't be kind enough to take me shopping would you?"
*bats eyelashes and smiles charmingly*
"Since all of my clothes were stolen I need to buy replacements."

"Sure. I hear Victoria Secrets is running a sale. Everything is half-off!"

"Oh, goody! That means I can buy twice as much." <wink>


lynora-Jill wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:


"Oh. Okay. Say, you wouldn't be kind enough to take me shopping would you?"
*bats eyelashes and smiles charmingly*
"Since all of my clothes were stolen I need to buy replacements."

"Sure. I hear Victoria Secrets is running a sale. Everything is half-off!"
"Oh, goody! That means I can buy twice as much." <wink>

"And I won't go to pieces like that delivery guy. Can't believe he was a Jack."


L. G. G., C. o. t. 101st G.A.R. wrote:
War Minister of Yunevrherdofus wrote:

!Death to Moorlockovia!

What do you mean we used all the missiles on the poodles?

It's Paizonia, not "Moorlockovia."

*Runs back in, pausing to respond to G.A.R.*

No, we're attacking Moorluck's country, not Paizonia.


King of Yunevrherdofus wrote:
L. G. G., C. o. t. 101st G.A.R. wrote:
War Minister of Yunevrherdofus wrote:

!Death to Moorlockovia!

What do you mean we used all the missiles on the poodles?

It's Paizonia, not "Moorlockovia."

*Runs back in, pausing to respond to G.A.R.*

No, we're attacking Moorluck's country, not Paizonia.

*Chomps King*

Liberty's Edge

Another thread is trying to beat us. We must not let them succeed!

Liberty's Edge

Jack J. Jackson, Beer Delivery wrote:

Thank you for the pancakes, miss. Tell that Mr. Hammer fellow I'd be happy to deliver beer here anytime. {holds jaw closed with hand until he is out of range from LJ's magical womanly wiles}

{He hops back into beer wagon, looks over his shoulder at Lynora-Jill, waves happily, and then distractly drives over some pedestrians.}

{Yells at pedestrians under wagon:} Hey, watch where you're walking!!! I'm driving here!!! You better not have scratched the paint or I'll come back and kick your f#%@ing a**es!!!

You kick everybody's f$+#ing a$$es.

The Exchange

King of Yunevrherdofus wrote:
L. G. G., C. o. t. 101st G.A.R. wrote:
War Minister of Yunevrherdofus wrote:

!Death to Moorlockovia!

What do you mean we used all the missiles on the poodles?

It's Paizonia, not "Moorlockovia."

*Runs back in, pausing to respond to G.A.R.*

No, we're attacking Moorluck's country, not Paizonia.

Um... Moorluck's country is Paizonia (formerly the USA, now the USP).


L. G. G., C. o. t. 101st G.A.R. wrote:
King of Yunevrherdofus wrote:
L. G. G., C. o. t. 101st G.A.R. wrote:
War Minister of Yunevrherdofus wrote:

!Death to Moorlockovia!

What do you mean we used all the missiles on the poodles?

It's Paizonia, not "Moorlockovia."

*Runs back in, pausing to respond to G.A.R.*

No, we're attacking Moorluck's country, not Paizonia.
Um... Moorluck's country is Paizonia (formerly the USA, now the USP).

Um, no it ain't. Moorluck controls a single thread. Quite different from Paizonia. Paizonia includes the Poodle Lands, the Jack's Lands (both of which are quite larger than you think), and the Slaad threads, not to mention many others (like the Crimson Crime folk, though I haven't seen them since their leader scampered).

Scarab Sages

Your family is the most important thing to our family. So make tonight’s meal special – make it a Hungry Jack® night! Your family will thank you for it, and so will ours.


Just make sure after your Hungry Jack® meal there is plenty of TP in the bathroom.


Comes back looking cheerful, JH trailing behind loaded down with boxes and bags.

"I do so love shopping."


lynora-Jill wrote:

Comes back looking cheerful, JH trailing behind loaded down with boxes and bags.

"I do so love shopping."

"Whoda thunk these skimpy little outfits would weigh so much?"

"Time for a beer."

"Hey Jacks! I brought a new Victoria Secrets catalog!"

Scarab Sages

Mexican Chicken and Potato Burrito

Ingredients:
• 2 cups water
• 3 tablespoons butter plus 2 tsps., divided
• 1/4 cup milk
• 2 cups Hungry Jack® Mashed Potatoes, flakes
• 1/2 cup chopped onion
• 2 cups cubed cooked chicken, turkey or beef
• 1 (1.25 oz.) package taco seasoning mix
• 1/2 cup chunky ­style salsa
• 1/2 cup (2 oz.) shredded Cheddar cheese
• 8 (8-inch) flour tortillas, heated
• Shredded lettuce (optional)
• Additional chunky style salsa (optional)

Preparation Directions:
1. BRING water and 3 tablespoons butter to a rolling boil in medium saucepan. Remove from heat. Stir in milk and potato flakes with fork until well blended. Set aside.
2. MELT 2 teaspoons butter in medium skillet over medium heat. Add onion. Cook and stir until tender. Stir in chicken, taco seasoning mix and 1/2 cup salsa. Bring to a boil. Cook 2 minutes, stirring occasionally. Stir in cheese and prepared potatoes.
3. SPOON about 1/2 cup potato mixture down center of each warm tortilla. Roll up. Top with lettuce and additional salsa, if desired.

Yield: 8 burritos
Prep Time: 15 min
Cook Time: 16 min


yummm...burritos

Clear the deck!

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