Keegan Cawley's page

Oi oi oi!

.

Ah shor kin simperthighs with ya. Folks awtuh speek Inglish proper like.

Aye, s'tright nah, me droogy, eh?

doot doo do dadoot

Nardwuar?

"Doo doo, droogy."

doot doo do dadoot the big man whistles whilst lamenting the loss of the fake one's guidance.

** spoiler omitted **

Again, count me in. 3.5 or PF rules?

Hozs sticks one finger to his lips, then moves it to his temple, and then back to his lips. Clearly the man is thinking but about what and how much will it hurt him is not so clear.

** spoiler omitted **

Sure. Count me in.

"I savvy wot you got, droogy."

"Rawr."

Hope Fakey's OK. He's had some tough times recently.

What's going on, exactly? Should I be worried?

Morganst looks at Hosz with a mixture of horror and disgust. "Uhh... Hosz, where did you find that severed hand? Most of us only have two?"

Oh, man, someone else caught that. I thought I was losing my mind again.

"In through the front door then bend around to the right to the last door on the left."

Map INto the blacked out room at upper right.

Weren't we there before?

"Gurtlekep seemed friendly with the wolf. Maybe it was guarding the kobald's front door. I'll bet if we take the staris we run into them right away. The secret door might let us sneak in behind them, might lead nowhere. I vote for the secret door."

"Yea, sez I. F!~%in' kobolds..."

"Let's check out that secret passage. I've always wondered what is actually behind secret doors." Faldor seems to nearly glow with the idea of exploring into something that has secret in the name.

"Hurrmmm... Sometimes, somesuch things not be right-like being un-secreted, eh?"

"Too shiny, it is. Not natural, like. I isn't trusting alless things... Hurrm..."

Anything of use in boxes?

Empty space, evidently.

Effan waits patiently for Hozs to leave with his prize, then sonically blasts the remaining eggsacks. He whispers to Abe and Morganst, "I don't want to upset the boy, but we should destroy that last sack as well when he isn't looking. It will just be trouble otherwise."

"Damn straight, droogy."

The spiders run amok on Keegan, crawling into every gap in his clothing, trying to enter ears, nostrils, mouth, etc....biting every bit of flesh they find....

1d6=6 damage, 1d3=1 strength damage unless a dc11 fort save is made. A second DC11 fort save is needed or Keegan is nauseated.

Party's turn!!

Fort: 11 + 1 = 12

Keegan is one lucky motherf%$+er.

Keegan rolls on the floor, crushing spiders by the hundreds, and still yelling the same Seven Dirty Words.

"SHITPISSF**&CUNTCOCKSUCKERMOTHERF#%@ERTITS! SHITPISSF#&!CUNTCOCKSUCKERMOTHERF*!~ERTITS! SHITPISSF+~!CUNTCOCKSUCKERMOTHERF@~!ERTITS!"

"Drop and roll Keegan, Drop and ROLL!"

"Shitpissf+~!cuntcocksuckermotherf++%ertits!"

Keegan drops and rolls, wishing that he had had the presence of mind merely to set himself on fire.

perception

1d20+7=23

Faldor's jaw nearly drops as he sees the scout breath fire then notices movement on the roof, "The big ones are fleeing our friends foul smelling breath. I guess I won't harp on you any more to clean that mouth of your's Keegan."

Keegan coughs, emitting a cloud of foul-smelling black smoke. For some reason, it has a different color and appearance than the smoke coming from the pools of burning oil.

"Nngh... *hack* *ick* *cough*..."

Keegan starts picking up spiders and depositing them in his satchel, pausing every few moments to eat one, popping the crisped arachnids into his mouth rather more daintily than one would expect.

"Catch!" Effan softly tosses first one, then the other vial to Keegan. The tindertwig doesn't toss as well, so he picks it up and trots it over to the scout.

Keegan catches them deftly, and immediately slams back the bottle of oil like a flagon of ale. Striking a tindertwig off the sole of his boot, he saunters toward where the swarm lurks in the darkness.

He holds the burning tindertwig in front of his face, as if to see deeper into the shadows. Suddenly, he lets loose the oil from his mouth, spewing it in a fine mist over the tindertwig's flame and creating a massive gout of fire to wash over the swarm of arachnids.

Seriously, I don't know what to roll for this one. I just thought it would look cool.

Keegan Cawley wrote:

Keegan seems to have an idea. He motions for the group to retreat to the entrance.

"'Ffan, droogy, you has nny things what go boom, like?"

Effan pauses briefly in his struggle with his backpack to reply, " a couple vials of oil. And some tindertwigs."

"Tossem here."

Keegan seems to have an idea. He motions for the group to retreat to the entrance.

"'Ffan, droogy, you has nny things what go boom, like?"

therealthom wrote:

Keegan Cawley wrote:

Aw, come ON! NOW you post? I just got back from work!

Sorry Shiney. If you hurry maybe Fakey will let you supercede my post.

If he hurries.....I will post the next thing in the A.M.....

Murphy's law. About two hours after I wrote that, my computer died. My computer and I spent the last few days in and out of the repair shop.

Keegan does a strange sort of jig. It would be easy to write off as a local folk dance, until one realizes that there is indeed method to the madness.

"Nnhh... Motherf@$~ers..."

Unarmed (?) attack, skirmish: 15 + 2 = 17; damage: 1d4+1 (?) + 1d6 = 8

Effan watches as Keegan swings into action.

"Spideylegs r good eatin', but the claws and fangs are sharpish." Keegan charges through the door and tries to flatten one of the new arachnids with his mace, but it scuttles wide of the blow.

Attack, damage, skirmish damage bonus (1d20, 1d8+2, 1d6=[3], [6, 2], [2])

That was terrible. Terry, was it you who NPC'd Keegan before? That was a much better facsimile.

Aw, come ON! NOW you post? I just got back from work!

Initiative: 11 + 2 = 13

"Rawr."

Keegan spits something dark and slimy into the dirt at his feet.

"Damn."

He crosses the threshhold into the room, drawing his mace, looking to see if Jaden has the situation under control.

"Have I ever mentioned how reassuring your confidence in me is?"

"Ye has now."

Morganst steps forward and cracks his knuckles. "Well, I can see what I can do."

With a flick of his wrist he pulls out several small tools.

Disable Device1d20+8=19

Keegan takes several steps away from both Morganst and the door.

Keegan Cawley wrote:

"Yessir. R'member kids, out here, there's all kinds-like o' trouble, see? But everything down there in the dark has t' fit throughways the door."

Zogonia much? LOL.

Wow. Someone actually got one of my jokes.

Send the new giant gnome in.

"So do we fortify the top ruins as a fallback point or do we just go down now?"

"Yessir. R'member kids, out here, there's all kinds-like o' trouble, see? But everything down there in the dark has t' fit throughways the door."

Keegan wrote:

"Hrmmm... Littlescales savvy gnomers be tasty-like. And we's got two o' them righ'ere, see? String 'em from a tree limb 'n watch 'em dangle. Littlescalefolk be comin' right soon, eh?"

"Three we have, no? Let them come for me, they will find little folk to be more than bait."

"Hurrm... Littlescales be thinking halfings taste like dirt. Gnomers, though, see..."

Faldor's eyes narrow and begins to sing rather crudely about a tavern wench of multi-hued hair. When he finishes Keegan has a nice teal shade to his hair.

Keegan doesn't seem to notice.

"But if I were a dumb kobold I'd think you were a much larger gnome snack."

Then with a smile, "But thank the gods we have a much better looking race then that."

When all is said and done he moves further away from Keegan.

"Yeah, 's called humans, right, droogy?"

He gets the joke, but he isn't smiling.

Jaden takes in everything that has happened in the last few weeks, thinking mostly about the battle at the witch's hut and how that could have gone very badly if not for Horz's touch with nature, and Keegan's blood lust(and big mace). He does not want to lead anyone into an ambush, but know waiting will do little.

"For this to work, be need to make our enemy come to us. I think we should get a good view of what we are walking into, and pick our place of battle. Any other idea?"

"Hrmmm... Littlescales savvy gnomers be tasty-like. And we's got two o' them righ'ere, see? String 'em from a tree limb 'n watch 'em dangle. Littlescalefolk be comin' right soon, eh?"

Keegan Cawley wrote:

"Pffft. Dig a mole-hole and shove it, droogy."

Contrary to the nature of Keegan's words, this seems to be more instructive than derogatory.

Effan bristles at the tone of the reply, but then considers that's as pleasant as Keegan ever gets. "Thanks. I'll do that."

Alas there's not much to dig with. Effan settles for dropping the pack in a depression off the trail and covering it with his tent canvas, and then with brush.

Keegan senses that he may have offended Effan in some way, though he doesn't quite know why. He saunters over to where the gnome is working, and begins scooping dirt from a small depression in the ground, quickly creating a small pit.

"Nnh..."

"If we're going to be fighting, I'll need to stow a lot of this here. I can't move with this pack. Keegan, can you give me a hand caching this stuff so it won't be found by patrolling kobalds?"

Effan strips his pack down to fighting gear and a day or two of food.

"Pffft. Dig a mole-hole and shove it, droogy."

Contrary to the nature of Keegan's words, this seems to be more instructive than derogatory.

After giving their report their leader says, "We will follow the kobold tracksss and try to overtake the ssssquad sssso we can avoid being hit from behind by a fressssh group in a few daysss. The ressst of my kin here will asssssisssst in infiltrating the lair with you.....good hunting!". Then he takes off with four other warriors, leaving 5 behind with the party.

The remaining Folk turn their attention to Jaden, obviously waiting for some type of plan while preparing their javelins.....

"Hurrmmmr... What's is all'em's looking for him now, eh?"

Keegan pulls a map of the area from his belt pouch, shaking his head.

I think with the gifts given to them Faldor is feeling a little heroic. Lets see if it stays with him as they continue on their journey.

Faldor does a once through his pack to make sure everything is well placed and then puts it on over his cloak. After a few more moments thought he removes it and the cloak then puts the cloak on over the pack.

"Again the heroes of the stories never told about problems of trying to figure how to carry their equipment in a fashionable way."

"Nnnh. Ain't no heroes nomore... special-like fancy swishy malchicks what be wearing cloaks, eh, droogy?"

Keegan picks his teeth with his hunting knife, dislodging what, upon closer inspection, appears to be a small clump of feathers. It probably wouldn't be prudent to ask...

"What do you know... Fox skin is actually quite slimming."

"Pfft..."

Faldor adjusts his new cloak so he can better reach his equipment, then pulls his rapier and strikes a galant pose. "Kobolds beware, we come to slay." A few twirls of the blade and he is done and begins humming a new tune that he begins to write in his head.

"Heh heh heh..."

Keegan jams his battered mace into his pack, taking his new weapon gently, whispering to it as he rubs his cheek against the twisted metal.

After a few minutes' reverie, he drops it to his side, grinning.

"Needs tr bury somes shite, like..."

+1 Bloodfeeding Morningstar- everytime it does damage it gains 1 blood point, which can be stored for up to one hour. The weapon can store a maximum of 10 blood points. This requires no activation.

When you deal damage to a creature while wielding a bloodfeeding weapon, you can activate the weapon to spend up to 5 blood points. Each point spent deals an extra 2 damage to the creature. The weapon doesn't gain blood points when using blood points while striking.
Other than that it's a +1 morningstar that looks like a leering devil head with spikes all over it.

"Hurrrmmm..."

Keegan takes that.

Will there be a chance to make a detour so Keegan can bury his old mace with his other gear?

Quick question: about how close are we to leveling up?

Also, I don't have the Magic Item Compendium. What are the stats for those particular items?

"Hrmmm... Twoscore littlescales for the bashing and skewering..."

Keegan's eyes flash with a hellish light.

"Hells, I'd do this job for free."

"Fermented mushroom wine? Sounds like something my aunt Roclabsta would serve. Thanks. " After the lizardman leaves Effan tries an experimental sip. He makes a sour face and whispers, "Tastes likesomething my aunt Roclabsta would serve too. " More loudly, "Keegan, I think you might like this."

Really, Fakey? Mushroom wine?

What is this, Kingdom of Loathing?

Keegan makes a sour face.

"Feh. This one insn't right liking the taste o' likker. All th' stuff smells unhealthsome-like ter me, eh?"

That's right. The guy who eats rotten meat can't stand the taste of alcohol.

"Pleassse sstay here for a moment, Talon Leader Sssethisss will be brought immediately. Have sssome fruit and fermented musssshroom wine while you wait."

"Eurgh... What sorts o' saverges is thinkin' fruit's food? In't rightways, that."

Effan stifles a snicker at Faldor and his mount, then looks down at his own feet, which despite being in the finest boots to be found anywhere, are starting to get sore. Maybe dignity isn't everything.

Keegan doesn't even try to stifle his own raucous laughter. Pointing at the unlikely pair, he slaps his knee exaggeratedly.

"This in't half ridiculous, innit? Droogy thinks 'e's a horse! AH HA HA HA HA!"

Keegan looks extremely ill at ease dealing with the lizardfolk. His hands tighten around the handle of his morningstar.

Sorry for the hiatus: RL is getting really busy right now. Should be back on track by the end of the week.

As an aside, did Keegan ever dig up the stuff he cached near the big tree?

Faldor wrote:

"Actually their blood used in a alchemical mixture spread over lead to change it into gold. An old tale but people are always trying ways to get more gold."

"That makes sense. I was wondering what pixies nailed to a tree had to do with turning metal into gold."

"Keegan. Come on man, may I see the map?"

Keegan offers the map.

"Wherefore not asking earlier?"

Heh heh heh...

Abernathus Burbuckle wrote:

"Changing pixies into gold?"

"Actually their blood used in a alchemical mixture spread over lead to change it into gold. An old tale but people are always trying ways to get more gold."

"This'd rath'r have the piskies, if y'ask me, eh? Piskies better to be looking at, and ye can't eat shiny, can you?"

It quickly becomes apparent to the party that Keegan has most likely eaten pixie at some point.

"No, it is out of the way to the east. Here, I can show you. Hey, Keegan! Can you show Abe your map?"

"No, sir. He can rightly look at my map..."

"Aw, Keegan, there is beauty in all natural things, you just need to know how to look."

"Pfft... Most's it just be looking like eats, eh, droogy?"

Abe can sense Horz's reluctance to talk to the dog and thinks he understands, so he does not press the matter further for now. He looks at the stuff Horz pulls out with genuine interest. "The forest makes beautiful things doesn't it Horz?"

"Does make a true wicked lot o' uglies, likewise."

Keegan's getting itchy. He hasn't eaten any fresh-killed meat in days.