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Judas McSerpent's page

1 post. Alias of Limeylongears.


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A Thread Where We All Shout "HUZZAH!!!"

HUZZAH!!!
Limey's 'Left Behind' : An 'In-depth View'
1 person marked this as a favorite.

I've finally found a 2nd hand copy - for £2, which is more than I wanted to pay, but Quality doesn't come cheap. Now, at last, I have the opportunity to share the Rapture with everyone at paizo.com, whether they like it or not.
Ask Uncle GoatToucher!

Who better to solve your personal dilemmas than GoatToucher?

I'll start.

Dear Uncle GoatToucher,

I am experiencing an unacceptable level of shrinkage and cracking when using Fosberg brand silicone sealant in higher than usual temperatures. What should I do?

Yours,

Embarrased Hairy Thing
International Talk Like A Fop Day
3 people marked this as a favorite.

Ladies and Gentlemen of paizo.com,

I Write to you as a part of my Spiritual Dutief af a Prince of The Church, for it cannot have Efcaped your Notice, as, indeed, it has not Efcaped Mine, that this Electronical Almanack, or News-Sheet, is Sorely Lacking in Genteel and Civilifed Converfation, for while there is an Entire Day where Guttersnipes, Drabs and Slubbergullions may Ape the Barbarous Jargon of thofe Villainous Defpoilers of our Ocean Commerce, namely, the most Scoundrel-like, Beaftly and Abandoned PYRATES, a Time set Aside for Gentlefolk of Quality to Difcuss fuch Topics as may Enlarge their Understandings, promote Amity, Concord and Moral Uplift and Refresh their Parts after an Arduous Day tending to the Management of their Estates, or Labouring in the Service of their Most Christian Monarch, is Notable by its Absence, as opposed to fuch Noisome Cloaca as FawTl, where the Very Dregs of Grub Street would Blush at the Lewd and Seditious fentiments are Hourly Hawked Wholesale to an Unsuspecting and Horrified Publick.

Although I am Aware that you can Drive a Horse to Water, but not Make it Drink, I hope that my Small Seed will grow into a Mighty Oak, for, indeed, it is the Task that is Never Started that takes Longest to Finish, and a Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss.

Indeed, though I hope my efforts will Bear Fruit, I would not be at all Difpleafed if they prove Unneccessary, as, unfeen and unheard, Gentility oe'rfpreadf us all with her Snowy Wings of politeffe and I see that I am merely Teaching my Grandmother to fu

Bleff my foul, the Bell for Evensong tolleth and I must Away.

Your Devoted Servant,

Beazley.
L. Longear's 'Atlas Shrugged' Diary of Pain
1 person marked this as a favorite.

1,068 pages of fairly small text (not including handy biog of Sexey Ayn and exposition of the principals of Objectivism) is going to be a bit of a slog, so to motivate myself, every time I pass a significant milestone, I'm going to blow a fanfare on the bugle and note down any comments I have here.
The Official Captain Yesterdays Only Thread
1 person marked this as a favorite.

Hey, you!

Yes, you!

Are you Captain Yesterday?

No?

Yes you are.

And this is the place for YOU!

A place to discuss how great it is to be a Captain Yesterday!

To tell everybody how your troubles were so far away!

To swap makeup tips!

To topple cows - and kingdoms!

Come one, come all! The price of one admission is your mind!
>>Limey answers all his own questions here<<
2 people marked this as a favorite.

Q: Why do people put makeup on their ears?

A: 1) So their ears are the same colour as their face is, if they've really been to town with the foundation
2) To conceal unsightly ear-warts
3) What could be more attractive than bright scarlet ears, or Sultry Night-Mist Mauve, or Seafoam Siren Sparkle, if you prefer?
The jukebox in my head

Making a note of the tunes/songs that are buzzing around and around my brain in the hope that they'll go away.

Today:

'Move Your Body. Move Your Body Real Close To Me'. Just those two lines, and I have no idea what the song's actually called

And

The theme tune to Dogtanian and his Muskerhounds.
Another thread name change request

This thread was supposed to be called The <<DO NOT ANNOY KAJEHASE>> thread, but, well, fat fingers. Could you change it, please?
The >>DO NOT ANNOY KAJEHASE<< Thread
2 people marked this as a favorite.

Don't do it! It's against the rules, and if you do, he'll row across the sea and discover your continent or loot your monastery!

So, this is where you can hereby solemnly swear not to do something - anything! - to annoy Kajehase.

For example, I hereby solemnly swear never to call him a Norwegian.
The Space Mutiny game

Anyone who's seen the fantastic Sci Fi epic 'Space Mutiny' may know what I mean. What we do, MST3000 style, is think up suitable names for the burly two fisted hero, like so:

SPAM CHUCKRUMP
BLAST OXGLANDS
BRASS RUBDOWN

and so on. Try to match it to the poster above if you like.
Today, we remember Pumpy Narkwell

A great man, unjustly swept under the carpet by the fickle steamroller of public opinion. Pumpy Narkwell Airport has been replaced by a fibreglass pig. The Narkwell spatula has been superseded by more modish but less functional designs. You can search supermarkets the world over without finding a single Pumpy Biscuit on sale.

Worst of all, despite months of public protest and strong representations by Dame Judi Dench, ex-Prime Minister Spencer Perceval and Cosmo, Huddersfield Town FC have taken away the statue of Pumpy that used to stand proudly outside the John Smith's Stadium and had it melted down in order to make their chairman an extra pair of bronze horns! I would go on, but I'm too upset.

Hopefully, you feel as strongly about this as I do - if so, please pledge your support to the Reinflate Pumpy campaign here
Somebody seems to be making an unofficial Drizzt movie..

Here's a trailer
Race

Lava Gnome Female Sorcerer 2 image HP: 14/14, NL: 0 | AC: 13 / T 13 / F 11, CMD: 12 | F+3 R +2 W+3 | Per: +0 | Init: +2

About Blaize Brightspark

Blaize Brightspark
Female lava gnome sorcerer 2
CG Small humanoid (gnome)
Init +2; Senses darkvision 60 ft.; Perception +0
--------------------
Defense
--------------------
AC 13, touch 13, flat-footed 11 (+2 Dex, +1 size)
hp 14 (2d6+4)
Fort +3, Ref +2, Will +3
Defensive Abilities defensive training; Resist cold 2
--------------------
Offense
--------------------
Speed 20 ft.
Melee dagger +2 (1d3/19-20)
Ranged sling +4 (1d3)
Special Attacks hatred
Spell-Like Abilities (CL 2nd; concentration +6)
. . 1/day—dancing lights, flare (DC 14), prestidigitation, produce flame
Bloodline Spell-Like Abilities (CL 2nd; concentration +6)
. . 8/day—elemental ray (1d6+1 fire)
Sorcerer Spells Known (CL 2nd; concentration +6)
. . 1st (0/5)—coin shot, snowball (DC 15)
. . 0 (at will)—daze (DC 14), detect magic, ray of frost, spark[APG] (DC 14), Flare (DC 14)
. . Bloodline Elemental
--------------------
Statistics
--------------------
Str 10, Dex 14, Con 14, Int 12, Wis 11, Cha 19
Base Atk +0; CMB -1; CMD 11
Feats Eschew Materials, Extra Gnome Magic
Traits elemental pupil, naturally gifted, northern ancestry

Skills
Acrobatics +2 (-2 to jump)
Craft (alchemy) +7
Knowledge (Arcana) +5
Knowledge (planes) +6
Spellcraft +6
Stealth +6
Racial Modifiers +2 Craft (alchemy)

Languages Common, Draconic, Gnome, Sylvan
SQ bloodline arcana (change energy damage spells to match bloodline energy)
Combat Gear alchemist's fire (2); Other Gear dagger (2), sling, sling bullets (10), bedroll, belt pouch, flint and steel, masterwork backpack[APG], mess kit[UE], pot, snowshoes[APG], trail rations (5), traveler's outfit, waterskin, 9 gp, 1 cp
--------------------
Special Abilities
--------------------
Bloodline Arcana: Elemental (Ex) You may change any energy spell to use Fire energy.
Darkvision (60 feet) You can see in the dark (black and white vision only).
Defensive Training +4 Gain a dodge bonus to AC vs. monsters of the Giant subtype.
Elemental Pupil (Fire) +1 dam when cast damaging spells of chosen element.
Elemental Ray (1d6+1 fire, 8/day) (Sp) As a standard action, ranged touch attack deals damage to foe.
Energy Resistance, Cold (2) You have the specified Energy Resistance against Cold attacks.
Eschew Materials Cast spells without materials, if component cost is 1 gp or less.
Extra Gnome Magic (3/day) Gain 3 extra uses of gnome spell like abilities per day, split as desired daily.
Hatred +1 Gain a bonus to attack vs. goblinoid/reptilian humanoids.
Naturally Gifted (1/day) Gain one extra use of a gnome spell like ability each day.
Snowshoes -50% walking penalty for heavy snow.

Hero Lab and the Hero Lab logo are Registered Trademarks of LWD Technology, Inc. Free download at http://www.wolflair.com
Pathfinder® and associated marks and logos are trademarks of Paizo Inc.®, and are used under license.

back story Reign of Winter:

Eons ago, long before humans ruled the world, long ago before Irrisen was covered in Ice and Snow, even before Baba Yaga had control of that region. The northern lands were covered in volcanic ash and soot. The earth spewed forth its fiery molten rock upon the land,, forming the mountains and valleys that populate the landscape today.

It was in this world of fire that Red Dragons ruled. But they could not rule alone. Smaller creatures, some of the earliest first worlders, the Lava Gnomes filled that role. The lava gnome were resilient against the fires of the volcanos and thrived along with their Dragon masters.

As time went on, the soot and ash eventually blotted out the sun. The polar ice caps expanded and soon this volcanic world would descend into an ice age.

The volcanoes became dormant, the lava receded back into the deepest recess of the earth. The cold was too much and many of the weaker dragons began to perish.

Many Dragons fled south and re-populated other parts of the world, some may even live today. Some took with them their Lava gnome servants. But for the gnomes left behind, the real battle for survival was just beginning.

In an effort to keep warm, the Lava gnomes dug deeper and deeper into the earth looking to find the lava flows once more. But the gnomes would only dig so deep, there are even darker things that lay deeper below.

Eventually the cold would penetrate the deepest caverns the gnomes now called home. The clans would be plagued with famine, and many died of exposure.

AS time passed the gnomes managed to survive. They adapted to the cold, they evolved into what many would call Glacier gnomes. Their numbers have always remained few, and as the eons passed, they became indigenous creatures when the other races began to settle the lands that are now called Irrisen.

The Glacier gnomes have become a part of the Irrisen society and fall into the normal hierarchy alongside the ice goblins.

But once, every so often, sometimes once in a hundred years, a gnome is born that has both the traits of the glacier gnomes and the lava gnomes. Blaize is just such a gnome this explains her fire abilities and cold resistance

When such gnomes are born, it is usually best to hide them from the winter witches that rule the land. Unfortunately Blaize’s abilities could not be hidden as they didn’t fully manifest until later in life and as her luck, at the worst possible time.

While walking the market, Blaize got hit with a snowball from some of the other kids. She got a little angry as it knocked her down and got her new dress all wet.

In her anger the snow around her started to melt, and when she looked at her hand, a small flame had formed; right in front of the whole marketplace.

Fearing for her life should the winter witches see her, Blaize’s parents grabbed her and fled. They needed to go somewhere safe. But word travels fast and when they returned to their own little community they were brought before the elders.

It was decided that they be exiled to protect both them as well as the rest of the gnomes. They entered into a teleportation circle and sent away.

Nothing was ever said about the incident again, It would seem the winter witches were none the wiser, or perhaps other plans are in the works. In any event no retribution against the gnomes ever came.

Blaize and her family ended up in the village of Heldren. It was here they settled, keeping to themselves mostly, at least for the first several months, they were outsiders and didn’t talk much, afraid that they would cause problems.

They tried to establish a business, but it didn’t work out, instead they learned to farm and raise some animals. As the months turned to years they eventually became a part of the community. Blaize secretly practiced her magic but she really need a proper teacher.

About two years after their arrival, some travelers from Qadira came through, and they took notice of Blaize as she practiced her magic.

Taking an interest in her talent, they stayed a bit and watched her. They made some queries of her parents and learned all they could. After much negotiations and several days of convincing, Blaize agreed to journey with them to Katheer. There she would be proper instructed in controlling and using her talents.

She remained in Katheer until word came of an unexpected cold had reached the border wood as well as Heldren. Fearing that the winter witches were coming for her and her family, Blaize returned Heldren to try and save her family or at least help the people of Heldren as they help her as outsiders in a new land.