Mon–Fri, 10:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. Pacific
1 post. Organized Play character for Douglas MacIntyre.
| HP 13/13 | AC 12 T 12 FF 10 | CMB +1, CMD 13 | F: +1, R: +2, W: +4 | Init: +2 | Perc: +1, SM: +1
Human Shoanti Slayer 6.1
Thunder and Fang combatant
Bodyguard... Plains walker of the Sklar-Quah (Sun Clan)
Sklar-Quah (Sun Clan): Domains: Animal, Fire, Strength,
War, Weather. Totems: aurochs, cindersnake, emberstorm,
fire elemental, firepelt cougar, the sun.
It's was such a surprising little joy. I've been carrying it around with me all day, close to my heart, like a tiny, fragile candle flame.
When I was younger, I could run endlessly on rage.
These days, it's not sustainable for me. It clouds my reason. I burn out and shut down.
I don't know if I'm wiser now that I'm older, but I *am* more easily wearied. (These two things look surprisingly similar from the outside.)
Now my strategy is to find something that brings me joy. Something sweet, or fun, or silly. Something that will help get me through the day.
I used to burn rage day and night. My engine ran HOT. I got s@#$ done.
Rage is amazing stuff. Motivating. Potent. It was, and still is, my favorite drug. And I'll be honest. I miss it. I miss those days.
Back when I was constantly full of rage, I had such clarity. I was perfectly self-certain.
And I made mistakes. And I hurt people.
I know there are rare people out there who can channel their rage effectively. But for me, it wasn't healthy or productive in the long run.
To be clear. I'm still angry all the time. I'm endlessly angry that the world is not as it should be.
But I don't let that drive me.
These days, I try to find my daily motivation elsewhere. Small things. Joy & delight. They are harder fuels to find. But they burn cleaner.
I try to stay happy and healthy and informed. I do what I can.
I save my rage. For later.
I have a deep, deep well of anger.
1 WF Klar
1H WF EB
5 Power Attack
8S Defensive Stance
9S Defensive Power