Azala the Reptite Queen's page

<telekinetically hauls Monkey Santa back to his thread-pen>

All's fair in war!

It runs in the species.

Merry Christmas everyone! And remember: Every time a bell rings, a monkey gets his beard!

Filthy primates getting their fur everywhere! Raaaugh!

"Other Darrin" Kobold Cleaver wrote:

Drejk wrote:

quibblemuch wrote:

Oh, for crying out loud, Monkey Santa's time change shenanigans are getting ridiculous.

A monkey after my heart.

It's Monkey Santa. He's literally after your own heart. Like Mary Shelley's Frankenstein literally.

I, for one, eagerly welcome our new FrankenKong overlord. I'd like to remind them as a trusted Internet personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their banana liquor distilleries and underground Red Bull mines.

Selling out to a Simian! Scandalous!

I've been warning about this for ages but no, no one listens to the prehistoric psionic reptilian genius royalty with the unwaveringly loyal fire-breathing tyrannosaur.

Welp, Monday's off to a weird start.

I did warn you about infestations.

Why yes, yes I do. <reptilian cackle>

quibblemuch wrote:

So last week I took Monkey Santa on a much-needed vacation. It was hard for him to stop working, but eventually he got into the groove.

Of course, he had to start some s&!!, because he is who he is. And he left a scathing review about the rental.

Still, it was nice to get away for a week and fling somewhere else. Even if I did wind up having to fight Sasquatch.

Out of respect and awe, in Ark I named a tamed mesopithicus "Monkey Santa". He's the highest level tamed dino on our server.

You're only encouraging him.

How are we the ones that went extinct?

I hear certain families of catfish can eat primates.

Let's watch.

By the Ancient Protosaurs, no. Please no.

Ah, the Tragedy of Darth Simian the Pungent.

Scintillae wrote:

I have an Orthos.

Make sure it's the right one.

That's how you get reptoid infestations.

You apes are the infestation, we were here first!

Dun dun da dun dun time for some trouble...

You tied that a little low. Here, let me help.

Who keeps letting the ape have weapons?!

Great Tyranos, they're multiplying.

Apes fighting apes, how delightful. I need some of that "popped corn" as they call it.

Who gave that little mongrel a knife? Put that down before you stab yourself.

Not that I'm averse to you stabbing yourself. I just don't want your blood stinking up the place and leaving it for me to clean up.

2/10, not enough primate viscera.

Red monkey, fall! Stain the yard red!

We were here first, you brainless apes.

Mind over matter, filthy ape. *drops a few boulders his way with telekinesis*

Yes! Kssshyahahahah! Suffer, filthy ape!

Apparently the beast didn't finish the job properly. We'll have to use more reliable creatures. Less friendly, less loyal, but with more teeth, more claws. More cold-blooded. Yes, I think that will do.....

I have a dinosaur we can feed the little warmblooded miscreant to.

Azala the Reptite Queen wrote:

Tacticslion wrote:

Woran wrote:

*sigh*

Humans.

Typical.

Should have wiped them out back before they learned beyond basic grunts and broken sentences. But no, and now you have an infestation.

Hah! You think you so smart!

But you dumb!

You summon La Vos and kill you all because bad loser!

Dumb-dumb!

We smart!

I have a tyrannosaur.

Your argument is invalid.

Woran wrote:

*sigh*

Humans.

Typical.

Should have wiped them out back before they learned beyond basic grunts and broken sentences. But no, and now you have an infestation.

We're going to eat you. It's not a difficult concept.

I know apes aren't particularly intelligent but I figured you weren't quite this slow.

Yes, yes. Consume your greens and your fruits, pathetic apes. Fatten yourselves up for our eventual feast!

Aaaah, now you know how it feels to be suborned by your lessers, you filthy apes. Your precious victories and grand triumphs undone, and by one of your own! Hah! The irony is as delicious as fresh blood and fine flesh.

The door opens, and a slightly stooped elf walks in, pushing back the hood of a black and grey cloak to reveal a shock of off-white hair, orange-red eyes and pale blue skin, with a long, ragged facial scar pulling the left side of his mouth up into a half-grin. His gaze flicks from side to side, and he loosens what is either a remarkably large dagger or more reasonably sized short sword in its ornate silver sheath before relaxing (slightly). He spots the rakshasa, catches its eye, and walks over rapidly to the pair, speaking just above a whisper.

"Got anything for me? That last lot of Poor Man's Iouns I sold H'bbl'ebluur turned out to be anything but, and I kind of want to be somewhere Kuo-Toa aren't."

The panther-man seems to be slightly put out by the interruption in his conversation, but recovers swiftly, baring a smile full of pearl-white teeth to the elf. "Must have been a miscommunication with the client," he responds quietly, his voice a low rumbling purr. "Might have something... soon, if negotiations go well. Why don't you treat yourself to a drink while you wait." His reversed hand gestures vaguely toward the bar, and his tone and expression make it clear the conversation is over for the time being, at least until he's finished speaking with the stone woman.