"Thank you," Kiley says when Captain Freson expressed her gratitude. "I don't think any of us were really expecting anything for so little result."
Renae struggled for words as she tried to tell Stryn the tale of Francis the Pantless between snorts. "It's well, ha, quite a tale in town. I would you tell you but, ha, I seem to be having some trouble." Hopelessly bemused, Renae nudged Kiley and asked that she explain the tale. It was only fair after all, she was the one who helped conjure the story into being.
"I wouldn't sell ourselves so short, Kiley," Renae smoothly retorts, feeling strangely satisfied with what they've accomplished so far.
"We were able to destroy the trailgaunt and were able to secure a bargain with the goblins. I'd say its good start for our Churlwood misadventures. Speaking of which–" the wizard turned to address the others. "We have more than enough funds to buy an entire barrel of pickles. Multiple in fact. We should probably make good on our deal as quickly as possible before the goblins start believing they've been deceived. I doubt their hostages much care for their hospitality."
Stryn simply nods to the others suggestion and heads for the door. When they are outside he notes "Yup, let's go get the pickles and get back across. Does anyone need anything else while we are in town? Maybe we should sell that stuff we got off the bandits just so we aren't carrying it around?"
Kiley, starting to get a little tickled herself smirks and looks around.
"I'll tell you, but on the road where we aren't as likely to have everyone wondering why we're howling with laughter," she quietly tells the others once she's made sure that none of the guards are in earshot.
"I think we have everything, though I might find something that catches my eye," Kiley says as they appear to be ready to leave. "Um of course, that's by your leave milady, er, Ma'am, I mean..." Kiley's flub turns her face red and she pulls up her cloak to hide behind it with an embarrassed "Eep!"
After leaving the guard, selling off what little loot they gathered and then going to get pickles Stryn suggests "We should get these pickles back to the goblins as soon as we can and see what we can do about the dwarves."
Henric nods in agreement. "If there's any other equipment we may need, now is a good time to look into it."
Kiley, with more coin than she's ever had in her life, decides to splurge on couple of nice things.
She shows up with a couple of new weapons slung over her shoulder, one of which is a bow nearly a half longer than she is when unstrung, and a new hat on her head. The dark green bycocket has a crimson feather stuck in it that sticks out at a rather jaunty angle and a brass button sewn to the side as if it is pinning the feather in place. She smiles at the others, showing off one of her sharp fangs with the cock-eyed grin, and cheekily tips her hat to show off the crimson scarf with gold trim that matches the feather and is now hiding her ears.
"Well Lullaby's hat didn't look that good on me, so I found a couple that did," she says as she replaces the hat and adjusts it a little. "Be honest, now. Does it make me look too dashing?"
You buy a barrel of pickles from the general store, and after finishing up your shopping, it's back to Hallen's ferry. The old woman sees you coming, and gets you across the river, saying, "Now, be careful if you're dealing with those goblins. Those Bramblemouths can be crazy."
Nope.
You head back through the forest to the Bramblemouth Den , and back through the underbrush to the den.
You spy two goblins off to the left outside the den. You're sure that at least one of them was not on guard yesterday.
Stryn, you're sure that both of them were not on guard yesterday.
Henric looks to Stryn as they approach the den, trying to not appear hostile. "Would you like to do the honors?"
Stryn shrugs and nods as he walks up to the goblins, leaving the pickles behind for now since he couldn't drag the barrel along himself. He calls out in his native tongue.
Kiley gives Hallen a reassuring smile as she says, "We'll be very careful, and if they do decide to be crazy, well, we've become adept at aiming to misbehave."
Once out of earshot of the ferry, Kiley strokes Maximus' neck and gathers her thoughts.
"I believe I owe you a story about a certain Francis. I think we have enough time for me to tell it properly between here and when we need to be paying attention."
"So, this happened about a week or two after I came into town. I still don't know everything there is about the town, but I did learn that Francis' family is some big to-do in town and the guard keeps him on to keep them happy, probably because it keeps him out of their hair. Renae probably already knows this and more, but for this tale, all you really need to know is that Francis is bad at his job, whenever he deigns to do it."
"So, there I was singing and dancing in the Creekside Tavern while some ol' salt with fingers that must've made his lovers tingle in his prime plays the fiddle. I'd come to the end of the songs we both knew well enough to do together, so I improvised. Francis had been heckling me, so I decided to heckle right back."
Kiley grins widely as she recalls the first limerick.
There once was a fellow named Francis
Whose dreams were filled with gold manses
He'd spend all the long day
Just whiling it away
While the bug on his nose just dances
"I know, I know. Not much of a heckle, but it was enough to prick his ego into full blown fury."
Her tone gets quite nasally as she begins imitating Francis.
"'How dare you,' he squealed at me. 'Don't you know who I am?' to which I said, yup, someone in need of some mint. He demanded and apology, so I did for not putting it to verse, just to make it all the worse."
Another mischievous grin spreads across her face as her voice turns more singsong.
There once was a guard named Frank
His breath the most foul and rank!
He would shout stop
And e'ryone would drop
For they could not outrun the stank!
"He demanded that I apologize and give him a rhyme worthy of his greatness, so I did. I may have been a little drunk at the time, so I there may or may not have been a limerick about his sword being too flaccid to leave his lovers anything but placid," she continues on, looking a little nervous and very embarrassed. "He took offense, and was very drunk. So, he swung his pudgy fist at my pretty face, and I ducked and stole his belt. He just howled about how I was making a mockery of the guard for a moment before trying to grab me. I danced and twirled around him while his breeches sagged lower and lower on his belly and hips before they dropped and he tripped. He almost took out Elma, but I grabbed the first thing I could get my hands on, which was, unfortunately for my poor sanity, his smallclothes. I yanked him back to his feet, he howled some more, and then tried to grab my wrists. I shoved him away after turning him to where he wouldn't squish anyone, but fate had other plans that night. My fingers were a little slow letting go, there was a snap of string and rip of cloth and there Francis was, now pantsless. I was still drunk, so I made up ballad on the spot that's still making the rounds around town and Francis has been looking to pay me back ever since. He's not too bright and he's still lazy, so it's been about three months and he still hasn't made an attempt. I still say I got the worse end of the deal. I still have nightmares about what I saw that night."
She gives an exaggerated shiver then looks to the others and shrugs.
"Sorry, maybe it was one of those 'you had to be there' moments, and I'm not the best storyteller. Granny Ama, though, she could tell a story that would make you think you lived it!"
---
At the entrance to the den, Kiley strokes Maximus' muzzle while softly cooing to him to keep him calm.
The donkey snorts and shuffles about, his nerves getting the better of him so close to a goblin lair.
"Here's hoping that they don't mistake Maximus for a horse," she mutters to the others after Stryn opens the floor.
Renae was in the amidst of deciding on whether she needed to buy another scroll of enlargement when she was distracted by the corner of her eye catching the sight of Kiley's newest accessory.
"You look incredible in it. Truly. The feather and scarf gives you a delectable red flair," she says without thinking, the words just coming to her. Immediately realizing just how incredibly flirty that sounds, the wizard's cheeks go red and she turns away. "I meant you look, uh, good. Very dashing, yes."
Wanting the sear awkwardness of that embarrassment to end as quickly as possible, Renae quickly grabbed at the desired scroll and rushed to the storekeeper without even so much as giving Kiley a backward glance. After that she was out the door.
Another trek into the Churlwood later, Renae was with everyone else at the lair of the Bramblemouth goblins.
"Well, let's hope that our new goblin friends here keep their word," Renae whispers nervously to no one in particular.
Renae was in the amidst of deciding on whether she needed to buy another scroll of enlargement when she was distracted by the corner of her eye catching the sight of Kiley's newest accessory.
"You look incredible in it. Truly. The feather and scarf gives you a delectable red flair," she says without thinking, the words just coming to her. Immediately realizing just how incredibly flirty that sounds, the wizard's cheeks go red and she turns away. "I meant you look, uh, good. Very dashing, yes."
Wanting the shear awkwardness of that embarrassment to end as quickly as possible, Renae quickly grabbed at the desired scroll and rushed to the storekeeper without even so much as giving Kiley a backward glance. After that she was out the door.
Kiley watches Renae leave with a worried and confused look on her face.
"W-was it something I said," she asks the others after a moment of dumbfounded silence.
Another trek into the Churlwood later, Renae was with everyone else at the lair of the Bramblemouth goblins.
"Well, let's hope that our new goblin friends here keep their word," Renae whispers nervously to no one in particular.
"Well, I think I may have an idea, especially since Stryn seems to be having some trouble."
Kiley turns to the tree line and tries recall how she'd managed to create an illusion once several years ago. It was a talent she had kept hidden and she rarely used it, preferring to rely on guile and charm than on the strange magic she held. This wasn't a time to hold back, but a time for distraction.
"ਕੁੜੀਆਂ ਬਾਹਰ ਆਓ! ਇਹ ਮੁੰਡੇ ਇੰਝ ਲਗਦੇ ਹਨ ਜਿਵੇਂ ਉਹ ਕਿਸੇ ਕੰਪਨੀ ਦੀ ਵਰਤੋਂ ਕਰ ਸਕਣ," she calls out in the goblin tongue, then muttering under her breath, she concentrates on the image she wanted to create, using her skill as an artist to sell the illusion.
Five young, nubile female goblins coyly come out of the brush to tease the guards and titter at them. Kiley was mostly guessing, but she was hoping that goblin boys were rather like human ones. Show a little skin, titter and act coy, and they'd be thinking with the lower head soon enough.
"ਸਟ੍ਰੀਨ, ਤੁਸੀਂ ਸਭ ਤੋਂ ਵਧੀਆ ਹਿੱਸਾ ਭੁੱਲ ਗਏ ਹੋ! ਇਹ ਪਿਆਰੇ ਗੋਬਲਿਨ ਇਹ ਵੇਖਣਾ ਚਾਹੁੰਦੇ ਹਨ ਕਿ ਬਰੈਂਬਲ ਮੂੰਹ ਦੇ ਪਹਿਰੇਦਾਰ ਕਿੰਨੇ ਮਜ਼ਬੂਤ ਹਨ. ਤੁਸੀਂ ਇਹ ਕਿਵੇਂ ਭੁੱਲ ਸਕਦੇ ਹੋ," she asks Stryn, looking disapprovingly at him.
"Come on out girls! These boys look like they could use some company."
"Stryn, you forgot the best part! These lovely goblins want to see how strong the Bramblemouth guards are. How could you forget that?"
The two goblins start quietly talking to each other.
"Hey! Those goblin girls aren't actually for us!"
"Who cares? I'm a girl and not into girls, so that wouldn't matter. Did you hear what they said about pickles?"
"Oh, yeah. Those goblins who were out here yesterday didn't tell us anything about pickles."
"Those boils on a goblin's backside were gonna keep them for themselves!"
"You know, we could keep the pickles for ourselves. Nighteye and her dogs will probably kill the longshanks anyway once they get inside, so no one will know!"
"Yeah, but we'll get blamed for letting them in! Then we get killed by Chief Cheektooth and we don't get pickles!"
"So, how do we get the pickles?"
"We pretend to let them in for pickles, then attack them from behind. It looks like they didn't notice Tonguefang, so he'll be able to really get the drop on them!"
"Okay! Let's do it."
Turning back to you, one of the goblins says,
"Give us the pickles, and you can pass. We know the girls aren't here for us."
The goblins absolutely plan to betray you and try to kill you after you give them the pickles.
Stryn is surprised when the goblin woman show up and it sounds like Kiley calling out about them. While he sorts out what is going on it distracts him from hearing what the other goblins are saying.
When the goblins agree Stryn waves his companions forward "They said they would let us in if we give them the pickles. Come on."
"Ooh. Fun," cheered a rather simple voice out of the bushes, followed by a few faint claps.
Nodding in acknowledgement at the otherwise martial woman's latent magical abilities, Hal gave Kiley a polite applause. The illusion was very enjoyable, which was to say that while more goblins was always disheartening, he did appreciate dancing. Dancing was fun.
"Lovely. Oh, but I'm fairly sure they intend to lure us into an ambush," he added, almost as an afterthought. "Going to murder us and whatnot."
Having said this he placed one long finger onto the tiefling and blessed her form with some of the obscurity of the End Times.
"Ah, but you shouldn't feel discouraged," the cleric smiled. "Everyone's a critic."
Almost as Hal begins mentioning their intention, Kiley charges while pulling her sword out. She's no longer smiling, as she glares at the goblins and picks out her target, the one the right.
"There's a third one," Kiley calls out before narrowing her eyes at the goblin.
[ooc]Oh nice!
Kiley turns to face the remaining goblin, her eyes glowing like baleful stars in the shadow.
"ਤੁਸੀਂ ਜਿੰਨੇ ਸਮਝਦਾਰ ਹੋ ਤੁਸੀਂ ਅੱਧੇ ਨਹੀਂ ਹੋ," she tells it before going for her second kill.
"You're not half as clever as you think you are."
Oblivious to the exchange going on in front of him, Henric is caught off guard when Kiley goes charging at the goblins. "What the... Kiley? What's going on?" By reflex, Henric falls back into a defensive stance, staff held in front of him, as he tries to gauge the scene in front of him.
As soon as Kiley begins showing a hostile action, an arrow from the other side of the cave mouth flies forward, hitting her in the arm.
The goblins barrage Kiley with a round of arrows.
Two more arrows strike Kiley, one from the formerly unseen goblin, another from one of those who tried to trick them.
Almost as Hal begins mentioning their intention, Kiley charges while pulling her sword out. She's no longer smiling, as she glares at the goblins and picks out her target, the one the right. "There's a third one," Kiley calls out before narrowing her eyes at the goblin. She neatly cuts the goblin in half with her greatsword. Kiley turns to face the remaining goblin, her eyes glowing like baleful stars in the shadow. "ਤੁਸੀਂ ਜਿੰਨੇ ਸਮਝਦਾਰ ਹੋ ਤੁਸੀਂ ਅੱਧੇ ਨਹੀਂ ਹੋ," she tells it before going for her second kill.
"You're not half as clever as you think you are."
Kiley - 11/17
"Oh, thank the stars," the cleric said at Kiley rushing out of the bushes. "My legs were falling asleep."
Rising from his squatting stance, Hal emerged from a shrubbery to take his full towering height, a few snapped twigs stuck in the lank hair. Laboriously wresting himself free from the branches he sauntered over to the tiefling to join her, pulling out a dagger from somewhere within the oversized robes as he did so. There he engaged the goblin in... well, it couldn't exactly be called swordplay. Children at play regularly displayed more accurate swordsmanship. The elf merely flailed the knife back and forth in front of the goblin in a most irresponsible manner. Honestly, it was really distracting. Which was exactly the intent.
With the others already engaged, Stryn pulls out his crossbow and loads it, turning his attention to the goblin further south as he exclaims "STUPID GOBLINS!"
"Oh for the love of Arshea." Renae might have taken the time to add an elongated sign to that point if it wasn't for the fact that she was already steeling her mind and body for a body. Renae wasn't exactly adverse about being right about things, but really hoping that her worries would prove to be wrong this time. Of course, successful hostage exchange via pickles tribute seemed like a stroke of luck that even Desna would balk at.
While the others drew there weapons and made their attacks, the wizardess prepared and unleashed an evocation that would hopefully put the goblin just south of them out of the fight for a time.
Recovering from the shock, Henric repositions for a better shot as he levels his staff at the yellowish goblin, unleashing his signature fire with a "Forzare."
Free Action: 5-ft step.
Standard Action:
"Oh, thank the stars," the cleric said at Kiley rushing out of the bushes. "My legs were falling asleep." Rising from his squatting stance, Hal emerged from a shrubbery to take his full towering height, a few snapped twigs stuck in the lank hair. Laboriously wresting himself free from the branches he sauntered over to the tiefling to join her, pulling out a dagger from somewhere within the oversized robes as he did so. There he engaged the goblin in... well, it couldn't exactly be called swordplay. Children at play regularly displayed more accurate swordsmanship. The elf merely flailed the knife back and forth in front of the goblin in a most irresponsible manner. Honestly, it was really distracting. Which was exactly the intent.
With the others already engaged, Stryn pulls out his crossbow and loads it, turning his attention to the goblin further south as he exclaims "STUPID GOBLINS!"
"Oh for the love of Arshea." Renae might have taken the time to add an elongated sign to that point if it wasn't for the fact that she was already steeling her mind and body for a body. Renae wasn't exactly adverse about being right about things, but really hoping that her worries would prove to be wrong this time. Of course, successful hostage exchange via pickles tribute seemed like a stroke of luck that even Desna would balk at. While the others drew there weapons and made their attacks, the wizardess prepared and unleashed an evocation that would hopefully put the goblin just south of them out of the fight for a time.
The goblin shakes his head at the ringing in his ears, but doesn't seem to be too affected by it.
Recovering from the shock, Henric repositions for a better shot as he levels his staff at the yellowish goblin, unleashing his signature fire with a "Forzare." The flames catch the goblin full in the face, and he collapses.
With two of his fellows down, the last goblin doesn't seem particularly interested in sticking around, and so he turns to flee into the cave.
Try as it might, the goblin couldn't escape the long-limbed elf unscathed. Swiping a spidery arm forward, Hal's sharp dagger was on it within the second.
A stab from Hal, a sweep of the greatsword from Kiley, and the final goblin falls to the ground dead. The Churlwood returns to silence.
Henric sighs outwardly, disappointed that everything went straight to hell so soon. "Hopefully we haven't alerted anyone to our presence already. Let's hide the bodies in the bushes and get moving. I'll take up the rear."
The last goblin had nary left this mortal coil before a giggle escaped the cleric, pearly and light. Neither morbid or mean, he wasn't laughing at the creature's death exactly. It was just... Seeing his own little dagger inflicted puncture wound erased and eclipsed on the green skin by Kiley's great flesh-rending sweep, the towering elf with itsy-bitsy knife and the diminutive woman with the stupendous sword; the image of a lanky wolf being outperformed by an overly aggressive kitten came to mind. There was some humor in the incongruity. And Hal had never been known to let good manners stop him from having a good time.
"Eh heh. Ah. Excuse me. Thinking of something else. Oh, but..." He curiously ran one long finger along a stubby arrow sticking out of the tiefling. "If we're entering the den, we may want our Kiley in top form before proceeding. And if I am to heal you, then we may want to pull these out first. Walking pin cushion is no aspiration for a young woman."
Wounds closed and healed, Hal was prepared to enter the cave. Or he would have been if his lean face hadn't suddenly taken on a look as if he'd just remembered something, upon which he wandered back into the bushes. He reemerged munching on a briny pickle.
"Sorry, I've nursed the most terrible craving ever since buying the things. And if the goblins aren't eating them... *GULP* Anyone else for a pickle?"
Stryn sighs and just shakes his head. Most of his kind were so stupid, he was trying to avoid this, but he can't blame himself or the group for the other goblins own stupidity. As Henirc mentions taking the lead Stryn notes "I'll scout ahead. Maybe everyone else stay back about thirty feet or so. If you hear me shout, then there is likely trouble."
He will move ahead as queitly as possible keeping an eye out for any traps the other goblins may have set. He stops and spins around to look at the others just before going in "Oh... I forgot to ask can someone carry some of my stuff that I got just in case we need it but is a bit heavy?"
Assuming someone agrees he hands over some rope, his waterskin, a couple vials of acid, his trail rations, and a bag of caltrops before smiling "Thanks, that will help me be a bit more nimble on my feet."
Heeding Henric's advice, Renae quickly got to the work hauling one of the goblin corpses into a nearby bush. After thanking Arshea and Soralyon for the convenient, if somewhat morbid, lightness of goblin corpse, the wizard rejoined the others as they stared down the mouth of the cave.
Given their failed attempt at pickle diplomacy, Renae was feeling particularly sarcastic at the moment. "So. I suppose I'll take the back with Henric as we head into that foreboding cavern, yes?"
"Huh? Wha- OW!"
KIley winces at the unexpected yank as Hal pulled out the arrows. If she were honest, she'd barely noticed them until he started tending to her wounds. The wounds weren't bad, just painful now that the adrenaline of combat was fading.
"Not sure there's any hiding those two," she mutters as she points out the two remaining corpses, the ones that Kiley had pretty much cut in half. She winces again as Hal works his spell, mending the wounds and leaving behind pale, slightly pink skin.
Turning to Stryn she nods in agreement with his plan, but does ask, "Do you mind if I'm fifteen feet instead of thirty? I know I'm not as stealthy as a goblin, but I'd like to think I have a fair shot at being quiet enough not to give you away."
Stryn shrugs "Sure, I guess. Just be quiet." He turns and looks at Hal and glares a moment "That also means no doing anything ridiculous that will make a bunch of noise."
Hal nodded very seriously at Stryn's cautionary warning, or at least as seriously as anyone with half a demolished pickle sticking out of their mouth could manage.
"Nof to woffy, Fyn. Fan't mafe noife file eafing."
The cleric helpfully embellished his mumbling by pointing to the briny cucumber. Yes, it was sound advice from the goblin; being overly loud here was not in their interest. Good of him to remind him. Why, Hal recalled someone among them shouting 'STUPID GOBLINS' right outside the goblin lair they were now about to sneak into. That hadn't been very stealth conducive. Who was it who had done that? He chose not to recall. Didn't matter. The elf didn't fret about these things.
Mmh, that was some good pickle, he thought in lighting up his holy symbol for the dark cave. The skull-shaped pendant emitted a soft white glow, now truly taking on Groetus's aspect of a shining moon.
Stryn sneaks his way into the cave, Kiley about 15 feet behind. The ceiling of this cave is awkwardly low, barely more than four feet in height. A pair of walls two feet high made from piles of rocks and broken masonry divide this larger cave into smaller areas. The air stinks of smoke, sweat, and worse.
As Stryn silently advances into the cave, he doesn't spy any signs of any goblins guarding the area. Kiley, however, notes a single goblin watching the entrance, hidden behind one of the low stone walls. The goblin doesn't appear to be aware of her.
"Stryn! Goblin," Kiley warns in hushed tones as she advances to get closer to the sentry.
"Stryn! Goblin," Kiley warns in hushed tones as she advances to get closer to the sentry. He jumps in shock as what was once a disembodied voice suddenly appears to be a longshanks right in front of him.
Stryn hearing Kiley's warning moves over and attempts to stab the goblin before he can react.
Kiley, not seeing a good way to get at the goblin from where she is, hops the wall and lands behind the sentry. Taking advantage of any confusion her maneuver may have caused, and the probably more significant advantage from Stryn's attack, she rams her sword right into the goblin's back.
"Ah," the elf exhaled and nodded sagely as if drawing some conclusion. He was squinting into the dark cavern much like a seasoned mariner might look into the horizon, seeing signs and portents invisible to any oracle.
"I think our good vanguard has engaged the goblins," he then said, almost conversationally, in turning to Henric and Renae. Hal pointed to the cave mouth with a half-eaten pickle. "Or vice versa. Either or."