Roger has nothing to do, really, before the show. If he learns that they prefer Polka with this bardic knowledge roll, then he'll try adapting some songs to the style, purely theoretically.
The local show is taking place on a stage in the middle of the town square. It's likely to be filled during the show, but the performance is judged by local "celebrities." It's very much a festival-type atmosphere, with plenty of beer and fried food.
Victor pokes Tobar in the ear, then tells him to wake him when it's getting close to show time. "My turn to pass out," he says, then goes to find the closest bed-like thing upon which to collapse.
Roger's style doesn't adapt terribly well to Polka.
Jordon:
Rekkstuff:
Squealy Nord stumbles in their set, especially on the third song, and the judges visibly wince at their missed notes. When all the competitors finish, the judges return their decision. The lead judge, a scrawny older man with a foreign accent speaks up:
"Frankly, I wasn't impressed by anyone here. As far as technical skill goes, I have to say that the, um... Stained Mustache Experiment was the clear leader. However I appreciate Squealy Nord's appreciation of our cultural heritage, so-"
A wobbly-looking elf woman breaks in. "We're going to let the audience decide! Who thinks the Stained Mustache Experiment should win?"
The crowd cheers with half-hearted enthusiasm, punctuated by whistles and shouts of "Woo!"
"What about Squealy Nord?"
The applause is tepid at first, but it soon builds to a roaring crescendo as a large group of women stand up and scream at the top of their lungs. Several sets of large undergarments flop onto the stage.
"Well, that settles it. It looks like Squealy Nord is the winner! They'll be going on to the national championship!"
Aw yeah!
The elf girl giggles. And just keeps giggling.
Vinny slaps everyone on the back (standing on tippy-toes to reach) as they leave the stage, congratulating them profusely.
"Stupendous! Magnificent! We're going to be huge!"
Rekkstuff recoils at Vinny's compliments. "We?! You guys are holding us back!"
Jordon chimes in on Rekkstuff's side. "Yeah, Rekkstuff and I are going to split off and form our own group!"
The two of them storm off, already arguing over their new name, and Vinny looks crestfallen. "We can't go on with just three members? Where can we find someone to replace them?"
"I gotta keep the good of the entire band in mind," Vinny replies. "Who did you have in mind, anyway? Were you out making friends last night that could help replenish our roster?"
Victor briefly considers the edge that could be gained by re-reanimating The Mahster to join the band, then thinks better of it and sheepishly answers "No, not exactly..."
Roger sighs. Well then, I guess we're on the lookout for new talent.
"Well, we're here surrounded by other musicians. Any of them look good to you?"
Victor plunges his hand into the crowd, takes a deathgrip on the first piece of clothing to meet his palm, and yanks said garment and its contents toward him.
"How about this one?"
And this one, too, Rogar says, reaching his hand into the crowd as well to grasp the clothing of another.
Unfortunately for the dwarf, braided facial hair seems to be in style this year.
"Oi! What in blazes are ye doin'? Hands off the beard!"
Eh, he looks alright. Now let's see what I've got?" roger says, tugging harder on the clothing in hand.
Vinny looks up and down at Belzac (mostly up). "Not bad, not bad. What do you play?"
A look of outrage passes over Belzac's face at the suggestion of being shaven.
"Me - a dwarf - shaven? Are you out of ye bloody mind? Now ye listen here, now...!"
His tirade dies out before it even begins when he hears Vinny's question, his expression becoming one of surprise. Gathering himself up, he takes the opportunity to boast.
"Well now, I'd be the lead guitarist of the Powder Kegs, the loudest, most explosive band in the under-deep!" he says with gusto, before looking over the members of Squealy Nord with a raised, bushy brow, "Surely y'all heard of us before, eh?"
*blinks*
Jonah snaps his neck suddenly as if waking from a bad dream. Anyone who looks close enough sees a glaze over his black eyes.
Eh, huh whats going on who're you guys. I didn't steal nothing it's all my stuff. Get off me you. What do you want?
He reaches into his coat grabbing a "cigarette" and lighting it. A smile crosses his lips as he seems to relax a bit.
Sorry bout that, just a little otherworldy at the moment, had to get my brain back in my head. What's going on guys? One hecova show eh, did you hear those guys play the polka.....Hey wait a second..........
.....
....
...
..
.you're the guys with the awesome mead right?!?!
Belzac's expression turns grim as he lets out a sigh.
"Of course you aven't... sometimes I forget that you surface folk have no taste in music whatsoever. Not that it matters anyways - the Kegs don't exist no more. All got themselves blown to smithereens, 'cept me..." the dwarf's face goes melancholy before he breaks out into a smile, "But bah, who needs 'em? I was the only good thing about that band anyway!"
Sizing up Squealy Nord at a glance, Belzace smooths out a beard braid and nods to himself.
"Not exactly what I was expectin', but I suppose you'll do. I been tryin' to get into a new band for months, but I kept gettin' turned down. Not everybody can appreciate my art, you see."
Art? how is it art? I thought playing music was just fun.
Jonah adjusts his glasses a bit "cigarette" still burning in his hand. He shoves it forward a bit as if to offer it to anyone who wants it.
So, guys, hows life? You heard the good word on the next big show? I usually try and get in for free with a band but I'm currently out of work. You know anyone who plays?
He pulls out his pockets and a bit of lint falls to the ground.
I'm all out of money. :
"Well, we're certainly no strangers to on-stage deaths,"[b] Vinny remarks to Belzac. [b]"But what exactly is your... art?"
He turns to Jonah. "And don't worry about the money. That's where I come in."
Wait, you mean your going to pay me? For what...
Oh holy cow, you guys are Squealy Nord, you are the dudes who played the polka. That noise was epic! It took me to heights I've only experienced like 5 times before. Oh man, are you saying you need new members? I'm down, so down. I can play anything, literaly anything, not necissarily good anything, but seriously anything! And I can be anyone, literally anyone. Like this guy.
Jonah turns his back to you for an instant and with a dramatic reveal he suddenly looks quite a lot like Belzac, except wearing the same hat and shades as before. :
Or hey if you have a special crowd that likes something special I can do that too. I once played a show with a band entirely comprised of Goblins. I still have the rags, and the scars I got from banging on their flaming drums. See!
He turns around again and in a flash his clothing has changed as well as his appearance. He is now a squat goblin with only 2 teeth remaining. On his head is a beanie and his face is graced with a new, atrocious beard and the same shades he had on before. :
Gob want bang on drum all day He grunts in broken goblin common quite convincingly. :
In a flash the man you were looking at before is back in front of you again smiling, "cigarette" still lit.
So, I'm I hired then? If so I need to get some new instruments, my old manager slash lead singer slash girlfriend took my stuff when we broke up.
Belzac grunts, seemingly unimpressed by Jonah's performance.
"Yeah, yeah, so ye can get yer knickers off and on real fast... big whoop. Now MY art is something to behold!"
Reaching over his shoulder, Belzac pulls out his guitar and breaks out into a boisterous solo that rips through the air.
Perform (guitar):
Well, Viktor? It looks like we picked a good pair, eh?
Roger stands back, appraising the new pair as they go through their respective performances. Not bad, Not bad at all.
"But can they polka?"
I can, anything man.
I need to get my hands on an instrument. What do you guys need played. I'm more of a rhythm man myself so I'd enjoy playing Bass or Drums. I'm down for whatever though man.
"Well," says Vinny, "We lost our guitarist and accordion...ist. Can you play either of those?"
"What in the bloody 'ell is an accordion? Whatever it is, I don't like it. But y'all can see, I have the guitar covered."
well i can sure try the accordian if you want. I've gotta say i feel much more comfortable on the drums however. Whatever you need im your dude.
Vinny shrugs. "Drums? Accordion? Who cares? We'll just say your style is 'maturing.'"
"So if that's all settled, what do you say we get ready for the national championships?"
Yeah. You need to get an instrument, and then we can get the show on the road. Do we still have Roach's old drums? Those might work.
Well, if they're in good condition, I'm down. I've got plenty of spending cash too if you know of a guy who sells. I should probably buy some sticks at least.
HEY, Who the hells sells the best drums round here...Yeh I want to know...Of course I play check it out!!
Perform Drums(myself):
Diplomacy(gather info):
Jonah walks through the crowd, carousing around. upon hearing the good word he heads in that direction and approaches the dealer.
So dude, I hear your drums Are the best around. How about I spend the interesting sum of money you're asking for that BASIC set, and you throw in a fat pack of sticks and the cymbal. How can you really drum without a bit of crash! Plus you'll get your drums up on stage when Squealy Nord wins Nationals. Yeh that's right I'm the new drummer...Of course I play Polka, I can, Anything Man!
Diplomacy: