Gobs play Make King!

Game Master monjebleu

Mikmek nods twice. "No more hit gate! Human say bandits come, want take tax! ...what is tax? No matter! He want us make bandits go away! Poke with stick! Yep! Bandits is bad humans!" the Grippli states in Goblin. He bounces up and down on Shortleg's back, much to the frog's consternation. He croaks loudly, causing Mikmek to stop bouncing and pat him on the head, croaking softly back to the frog.

"Okay human! We make bandits go away! Poke human problems with stick, then humans no have problems!" he yells through the door in Common, smiling all the while.

The human says no more.

The night will soon be upon you, followed by dawn. You have until then to make your preparations.

mes get hit bandits with me stick. me hit hard.

Chopslot takes his club and sits down

yous tell mes what hit with stick and I bash it

The runty goblin falls off the wall in excitement.

Ok to shoot some longshanks but not others when pyjama gob talk. Dis is confusing.

"Okki you do funny talk on tax longshanks or we ok to kill?

Wrecktwitch starts looking for a good ambush spot.

mmm. Ditch prob best spot for gobs. Maybe hophop come in ditch with him? She cute gob. Scary gator tho. Where I hide?

if there isn't a likely ditch good enough to hide in Wrecktwitch starts digging a scrape across the road from longshanks door.

Okki smiles to himself as the humans pass on their wishes and he goes to join the other gobs.

Grinning wide, he adds.

"It make sense the humans do as we say. Who could turn down such smart and handsome and pretty gobs like us?"

Having no traps, no poison, no money for either and nothing else to do, Okki goes back to the door and bugs the humans again.

"Hey peasants! Um. What way the bandits come from? All over? Lots of bandits or just one big bad bandit? Okki need know where to hide!

If they answer, great! If not, Okki looks for either a tree to climb for a better view or some good hiding spot. If none are available, he sits down and chews on a throwing star unless someone needs him for something.

Great minds think alike Twitch!

Okki scratches his head under his mask and thinks..

"Nah. Pajama Boss say to talk only to get what you want. I don't want taxes! I want to see a Goblin King! Tax taking longshanks are for stabbing and biting, I say."

The runty goblin falls off the wall in excitement.

"Kill tax! Put tax on pikes! Then we crunch on squawk bird!" Chubgrub points at Feeva "Pretty gob! Talk at longshanks to have squawk birds for us when we kill taxes! Chubgrubs want! All the birds!"

It looks like we don't really need spoilers unless we're talking Common.

"Feeva not know if longshanks have squawk birds. Me offer magic sand but longshanks not say nothing. But maybe bad tax nits have. Feeva hungry too. Hey Okki! After we kill tax nits, okay to eat stomachs?"

Feeva then sits on the ground and takes a swig from her perfume bottle. After another minute, she'll get up and either hide in a ditch with Wreckwitch or move off the road into the bushes/tall grass/nearby ground cover. If nothing happens in the next 5-10min, she'll start playing marbles while carrying on a one-way conversation with Mister Stinger.

Heading out of town for a wedding now. I'll only have intermittent internet access until Saturday night, but I'll try to stay up to date.

"The bandits always come from south! They've been getting lazy though, and last time only five men showed up! I can't imagine they'd send more than that!"

A dusty road leads away from the door, which faces south, and curves around up north, the way from which you came. The trading post is built up a plain covered in short grass. There are ditches or trees.

However, a minute later. A large bundle tied to a rope appears over the edge of the palisade and is slowly lowered to the ground. The rest of the rope is thrown over as well.

"My wife insists that I give you this!"

Inside the bundle is an unassembled medium sized tent. The hemp rope that it was lowered down on is about 50 feet long.

"Chubgrubs will eat biggest hole for Venkelvore and Chief!" Little Chubgrub states as the brothers move over to assist in digging (by way of consuming globs of dirt for their Goddess). The younger brother begins to sing during the digging as he shovels some dirt in his maw.

"Goblins dig and wait for fight
Taxes see our super might
Longshanks ge-- He then starts choking on the dirt and coughs it up.

"Dirt not good to eat, even for Venkelvore. Big bro will eat dirt, though," which he does far more handily than the runt.

---

As the tent comes over...

"What this? This stuff to burn! STUFF TO BURN! BURN AND EAT!" he says as he clambors over to the pile of stuff.

"Chubgrub no!"

"We can sleeps in this or we can makes us a trap with it. There's some spots we can hide in too. Now! All we havta do is camp out the north!"

Aaaannd.. 8 int.. no nature skills..

"Uh gobs. Which way is the south?

Wrecktwitch has already fallen asleep in his scrape

Stealth check to remain unseen in concealment. 1d20 + 18 ⇒ (14) + 18 = 32

not a typo. 20 dex (+5), small (+4), skilled racial trait (+4), one rank (+1), class skill (+3), Color Theif trait (+2), ACP -1. NOBODY SEE WRECKTWITCH!

Chopslot like hide an sneak an bash game. me goes hide now

perception place to hide: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (5) + 5 = 10

stealth hide: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (15) + 11 = 26

not seeing anything good Chopslot covers himself close to the gate and waits.

Okki also takes up a spot in a small ditch, rolling around in the grass and dirt to cover himself. Then he anxiously licks the tip of his wakizashi and waits.

1d20 + 16 ⇒ (13) + 16 = 29

Um, uh, I hate to break this to you but there are no ditches in sight, after aAaAAAAAGH!

Bad slave! There be big ditch long road. Many goblins as want to fit in ditch.

slave no speak of ditch gobs know how make ditch for trap now wes makes it good at night get taxes in morning. don't make me bash you

Oh man, this exploded while I slept! Haha, I love it.

Hophop and her 'gator have been observing. Clearly, the druid is of the more timid variety. However, she looks like maybe she'll come help attack the gate ... and ends up going over to examine the bundle of tent and rope that comes flying over, poking it a couple times to see if it is anything edible.

Teeths remains where she left him in the little furrow they'd been tucked in. She does, however point out ...

Survival to know where South is: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (14) + 6 = 20

"Chubgrubs hide in ditch as well! I hide best because I am not-biggest!"

Little Stealth!: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (9) + 5 = 14
Big Stealth!: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (19) + 1 = 20

Stealth:1d20 + 8 ⇒ (12) + 8 = 20

Farg farg crawls into the ditch and throws a rock at Fangface the wolf. "Get in ditch dummy! We hide!"
The black wolf growls low and dives at the goblin with his teeth bared and attempts to remove its masters face.
"Stop you! No play we be in seriouse stuff. Later we play!

Stealth 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (2) + 8 = 10

Feeva crawls into the ditch as well.

Mikmek and Shortleg join the others in the ditch, peeking over the edge as they wait.

Mikmek Stealth: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (8) + 6 = 14
Shortleg Stealth: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (5) + 1 = 6

After she knows where south is, Hophop goes diving for a place to hide.

Hophop Stealth: 1d20 + 15 ⇒ (7) + 15 = 22

Without water, Teeths is less than stealthy, but he does his best impression of a bumpy log.

Teeths Stealth: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (12) + 5 = 17

Oh man, this exploded while I slept! Haha, I love it.

Heh, no kidding. Lots of gobs, very chaos *nods*

Kibbles looks confused as humans respond in strange language, and then annoyed, glaring at gate as Okki says humans refuse to become part of great goblin kingdom.

"This why big longshanks not make good slave. Small longshanks do what told, but not very strong." Kibbles dispenses more wisdom while the others hammer at the door. After Okki and Feeva relate an agreement with the longshanks, Kibbles nods at their wisdom. He leaves the others to their digging and scraping and hiding as he rides out a ways on his woof, clobbering Snouts with the butt of his Horsechopper.

"Snouts find tax nits!" he declares, his reluctant mount growling at his master, but diligently sniffing at the ground for a while. Of course, not having anything to sniff he ends up just chasing down some of the local wildlife.

Survival to gather food: 1d20 + 6 + 1 ⇒ (18) + 6 + 1 = 25
Food enough for himself and 7 others :)

"Kibble am mighty hunter! Bring food for all!" he declares as he rides back to the fort.

Perception: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (7) + 6 = 13

"Where gobs go?" he asks the apparently deserted area, scratching his head. A moment later he spots Feeva crouched down on the edge of a ditch. He puffs his chest out importantly as he rides up to her and pulls a squirell from behind him. "Nice Feeva like furry thing?" he offers, hopping off his mount to present it to her.

Stealth for After the feeding frenzy dies down: 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (5) + 14 = 19

when deez bad nit tax get here mez hungry wants eat longshanks problem get full.

"Yes! Yes! Have hunger and problems? Venklevore say eat problems! Have no problems or hunger!" The little one darts his head around unstealthily. "Where taxes? Want eat taxes problems!"

The bigger brother (by this point) has eaten enough dirt to actually make himself a nice hole to hide in.

Feeva shrieks with excitement at Kibble's magnanimous gift, hugs him, and literally jumps for joy. The squirrel vanishes. Feeva gives a contented belch and hunkers back down in the ditch.

1d20 + 8 ⇒ (4) + 8 = 12

Slave! Where you go? What happen? Why you not tell gobs bout when bad nits arrive?

Ah! Put down that spear! I'm trying to make a map for the combat encounter, but I don't know much about mapping and don't know the best way to make one and what tools to use and how to get it to the other goblins. Stop! Ow!

Goblins! You hear slave, he need you help. You know good tool for map?

Okki whispers from within the ditch.

"Boss! You can use http://rptools.net/ or plain ol' Excel, using initals for people and moving the markers!"

okki dat link so bad it woke Wrecktwitch up. Was good nap. Now have to fix. here.

mes just figure out mes got 2 int so know common

looking around at the discussion

mes know how

Chopslot look for chiefperception find chief: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (1) + 5 = 6

Me no see chief

Dawn breaks early on the Kameland plains, and with it comes the sounds of a large group coming up the road to the fort. The group of Men comes slowly up the road, 5 of them are arrogantly seated on horrible Horses. another drives a cart pulled by an old donkey, while two more men walk beside it. the leader of the group, a tall skinny human with sickly brown hair and a bad mustache, rides up to about ten feet from the gate and shouts. "Olag You Fat Swine, I've come to collect your taxes."

Now is the time to strike my faithful Gobs! You have all waited patiently, hunkered down and hidden by the tall grass that grows in the ditch beside the road. Murder these humans, Slaughter the horses, and Burn the cart.

pls roll Initiative to see who will lead the charge in the surprise round

Map

Init: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (14) + 4 = 18

Init: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (7) + 3 = 10
Init Teeths: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (12) + 2 = 14

Initiative (Mikmek): 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (20) + 8 = 28
Initiative (Shortleg): 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (16) + 1 = 17

I believe since I am riding Snouts we just go on the same initiative. Also when I GM it's usually faster if the GM just rolls for initiative (and some other roles too), so I'd be happy for you to do that in future :)

Initiative: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (13) + 3 = 16

Kibbles wakes with a start as the sound of the bad nits reaches him, he scrambles up from his position sprawled in a ditch and roughly clobbers Snouts awake. "Don't snore Snouts, bad nits hear you!" he whispers angrily at his minion, who just whines resignedly. The cloth swathed figure scratches himself, before climbing onto his beast's back, laying low in the ditch, but ready to pounce.

Initiative: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (18) + 6 = 24

Feeva wakes up as she hears voices speaking in Common. I thought we were waiting for nits. These are just longshanks. But they want taxes? Me be funcused.

EDIT: I'm off to bed now, so I figured I'd post Feeva's most likely action since she should be acting pretty early in the Initiative order. If someone's made a hostile move (like Mikmek, for example), she'll stand up and use her Slumber Hex (DC 14) on whoever's nearest to her position.

If noone's attacked yet, she'll make herself visible and ask the people if they know when the tax nits will arrive. Readied action: Slumber Hex on the nearest person.

That should cover it; have a good night. :-)

initiative: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (3) + 4 = 7

Chopsot hears thr badnit wanting the taxes and he gets ready to leap. great club readied. As froth starts to form in his mouth.

Init: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (19) + 1 = 20

The little brother awakens like every morning. "Taxes are here and brother is gone. What a dumb brother," he says quietly, grabbing his club.

Mikmek awakes from his comfortable sleep on Shortleg's back, immediately grabbing his quarterstaff and readying himself for a fight at the first sounds of the bandits. "Mikmek hear bandits! Be ready!" he whispers excitedly to everyone, while shaking Shortleg awake.

1d20 + 4 ⇒ (16) + 4 = 20

Giggling with excitement, Okki readies his Walkisaucey.

I'll move to engage whichever human is hit first. If there isn't one, I'll attack the nearest on my initiative.

*Surprise round*
Happs Bydon
hp 11
AC 14, touch 12, flat-footed 12
fort +4, Ref +4, Will +1

Bandit (7)
hp 9 each
AC 13, touch 11, flat-footed 12
fort +3, Ref +1, Will –1

Horse (6)
hp 15
AC 11, touch 11, flat-footed 9
Fort +6, Ref +5, Will +1

Swift Action: Challenge Talking Nit

"Big boss say kill taxes and nits! You close enough, Farg farg goin kill you talky longshanks! Just like in stories! Farg farg let Fang face eat you after!"

Charge Attack: 1d20 + 4 + 2 ⇒ (6) + 4 + 2 = 12
Damage: 1d6 + 2 + 1 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 2 + 1 + 1 = 5 X 2 = 10 damage from charge!

Chopslot not see name but want to hit bad nit longshanks

Chopslots mouth begins foaming and it starts to drip off his face
rage in effect

Chopslots charges out of the ditch straight towards the nearest bad nit his great club in his hand as he screams gibberish in any language.

Attack5 charge2 rage2 Power attack-1: 1d20 + 5 + 2 + 1 ⇒ (18) + 5 + 2 + 1 = 26
Damage6 rage2 PA2: 1d10 + 6 + 2 + 2 ⇒ (5) + 6 + 2 + 2 = 15
AC will be 14 next round 15 for the rounds I rage after that

this will take down bandit A

Typical Goblins, always acting out of turn ;-)
Since Feeva's attempt at Diplomacy/information-gathering obviously didn't work, she switches tactics. "You all be bad longshanks. Feeva and friends eat you all!"

Slumber Hex on Bandit B (DC 14)
Will: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (19) - 1 = 18

She points her finger at one of the nits, but nothing happens. "AAAHHH!!! Tax Nits be magic!!! Not go sleep!!!"