"Human-horse! Disgusting!" Hophop declares from behind her lizard.
Okki looks at Hophop confused.
"Human gross, horsey good? Okki agree!"
"Yea wolf guys. Yall can have half of our horse meat! We will make sure to have yummies for you if we come this way again too okay?"
Chubgrub was happy, right up until he could understand what's going on. "No! Give away meat is bad! Bad plan, 'cause then we not have the meat! Why we not eat them so then we have ALL the meat?!? We can't eat when we don't got the meat!"
In Goblin: "No, Chubgrub. We not give all the meats. Just some. Sharing is nice. Make new friends. And less meats means gobbies walk faster. Get there sooner. Then can get MORE yumyums."
The Wrogs grumble unhappily about not getting to kill at least one of you as the Werewolf Olf sends them back to the hill to fetch his gear. He then confirms that you are headed in the correct direction to reach Old Bokken’s hut and sends the party on its way.
Three more hours travel across the plains brings you to the odd sight that is Bokken’s hut. A four foot wrought iron fence circles a large green grassy hill sixty yards out, Atop the hill sits a small pond filled with lily pads and cattails circled again by a similar fence. multicolored smoke rises from the chimney of a small wooden hut built into the side of the hill, a pebble path leads from the huts iron door to a gate in the fence adorned with a small sine.
Hophop is very unhappy about parting with their horse meat, and throws quite a tantrum while being coerced into giving some up to feed the worgs. And then she sulks all the way to Bokken's, riding on her lizard. She grumbles and eats some more of her stash on the way, slurping down raw bits of horsemeat.
"WRITING! BURN IT!" Shrieks Hophop as they approach the sign - and then attempts to set fire to it.
Okki watches the sign burn and relaxes a little.
"Good job Hophop, that was close. Okki learn hard to get human words in head. I don't want no signs taking them back out."
Wrecktwitch chews on a cartridge and fidgets nervously.
"What if writin demon lives in dis hut, make sines for stealin' souls? Gobs be careful. "
dis longshank make good glubglub what she calls them po-tins help gobbies.
Chopslot knocks on door with his club
Hello longshank there.
dis longshank make good glubglub what she calls them po-tins help gobbies.
"How you know that?"
longshank behind big wall tell Feva dat. He make stuff she drink. he say he make po-tins and stuffs
"Oh. Talks is dumb. Can we stab him and takes his potins to eat?" He gets a little more excited thinking about it. "I like that plan. Let's do that."
NO we gets him makes us dtuff forever and eats all he makes dat better plans
Chopslot looks doen at Little Chubgrub
more eats and drinks dat way. He bez slabe to new Gob King.
"No, Hophop. Burn writing like THIS"
Cast Burning Hands on sign/fence.
Damage
Then she yells in Common. "Hey po-tin longshanks! Evil word thing be gone! You safe now! Is goodgood happy day for you! You pay back by give us yummy gluggadrink. Come out and we can talk!"
Diplomacy
Perception
The old wooden sine bursts into flames under influence from Hophop’s spell. Whatever sinister secrets it contained are quickly turned to ash and blown away on the breeze. While Freeva’s attempt causes the iron to glow red hot far a few minutes.
A gruff voice shouts from inside the hut Who’s makin all that noise out there? Can’t you people read, dag nabit!!! Sales are by Appointment Only. With a loud “Chaa Clunk” a panel in the iron door swings open, revealing the wizened face of a human male with a surprisingly large nose. Oy you Gobs!! Get off my Grass. And you there with the pointy hat a nareld cane pops out of the open panel, and points to where Freeva is Standing. What in tarnation you think your doin to my Fence?
"Drinks man! You makes us drinks or we'll stab and eat you and steal your drinks!" The goblin exclaims in the only language he knows, clambering towards the bird nose man.
In Common: "Hi longshanks!" Feeva pipes up cheerfully. "We be fixing your fence. Had bad evil words, but they all gone now. You be safe! Now we get gluggadrink?" She holds up her perfume bottle hopefully.
Chopslot peers into the building.
We make king dis land. Longshank at place with big walls say you have po-tins help us get rid of badnits
Chopslot points at screamy
[/b]He used be bad nit but now he slave help get rest bad nits. you help with gluggkug po-tins makes us good. [/b]
Chopslot you one dumb gob. We no make king we make chief!
Hophop capers around the burning sign with high pitched giggles. She doesn't understand the longshanks, so she entertains herself by dancing and shooing Teeths farther onto the lawn.
"Chopsalot has big, dumb plan,
'Talk to every longshanks man,'
Rarely stab and never bite,
This gob thinks he's not quite right!"
Chopslots eyes squint and he walks up behind the singing and dancing little chubgrub
Chopslot hits the goblin trying not to use leathal force.
Little Chubgrub falls to the ground unconscious. Chopslot turns to the other
Chopslot not dumb Chopslot listen Chief say we make king dis land. No one calss me dumb. longshank give us potins to get badnits now or Chopslot get mad
The sound of a large explosion rings out from inside the hut, and a large black cloud of smoke rises from the chimney. The smoke settles heavily around the hill for a few seconds, smelling horrible and feeling a bit oily. Quickly dissipated by the wind, everything it covered, including you is now a bright day glow purple.
from the open panel Old man Bokken shouts out to you
Hey!!! You lot, Quit horsin around, and muckin about.
You want Potions?
Everyone wants potions!! Most folks Got the common sense to send some sort O message tellin me what ta make, and when to have it ready by.
Not yous though. You come bargin in at the end O the day and demandin i give yas stuff.
Well thats just not how it works.
You tell me what ya want and I might be able ta set ya up. For a price.
Chopslot looks at Feeva
what we need? What is price?
Chopslot moves over to Chubgrub and picks him up and puts him over his shoulder.
Feeva giggles uncontrollably. "Heeheeheeheehee we be purply now!" It takes a couple minutes for her to get over the joy of this momentous occasion.
"Po-tin man! We need things make Gobs' booboos get better. Things make big boomboom fire 'splosion. Things make Chopslot turn big. But most 'portant, need more yumyum gluggadrink!"
She thinks for a minute. "Price? We have longshanks shiny monies. Also have bag of magic sand from Chief! That be worth lots Feeva think."
Big Chubgrub has a hearty 6-second laugh as he dissipitates into nothingness while the younger brother is hurled a few feet backwards.
Farg farg falls off Fang face as he points and laughs at the human tied to his saddle. "Screamy purple now!"
Bokken: Ya I got all those kinds of potions. Ones that make things big, small, burn things, cure wounds, I gots um All. But I don't want your stinkin gold.
What I want, is some help with a problem. See I got’a gang o fairy's up at my pond. They be messin with me frogs, and cutin up my plants and just pissin me off right proper. They're trapped by the fence and can't escape. You lot get up there and catch um, I don't care if they're live or dead. I’ll give you a potion for each one.
I dont know What gluggadrink is, give me the bottle and I'll see what I can do while you get those little pests.
In Common: "Okay longshanks. Where be pond? We go break fence. Fairies fly away. You give us all the po-tins. Feeva like this job. Here be gluggadrink." She hands Bokken the half-empty perfume bottle.
"We has to catch em Feeva. If they fly away it's no gluggadrink for you." Okki says sadly.
"I have never stabbed fairies before. I wonder how they taste?"
We gets smash and poke and hit and get potina for it. hey Feeva you make chubgrub better now. He like hit and poke.
Looking at the others.
Okay Gobbies wes gets have fun and gets to hit faries ands den get stuff
Chopslot heads toward where faries are.
Wrecktwitch perks up at the thought of killing some faries. Sounds easy enough!
He follows behind Chopslot, careful not to catch his attention and risk a smacking.
"Feeva can't fix Chubgrub. Mister Stinger says no more magic today. Tomorrow good though. Where be fairies?"
"How we know when we find fairies? "Farg farg shrugs and jerks on Screamy's leash. "Scream when we see fairies or I make you scream foe real!"
"What happening?" Hophop asks, confused. The po-tin man doesn't seem to be trying to hurt them, but people don't look exactly happy.
In Goblin: "Po-tin man give us job. Need kill fairies. Then he give us gluggadrink. You make Chubgrub better now?"
Hophop shrugs, "Hophop make fire, not betters." She says.
Chopslot hearing that no gob can heal turns and walks back to the hut.
longshank potin maker we need make you better potin for Chubgrub. you give one we give you price.
Chopslot looks saddened
"Hey! Venkelvore! Why we be stopping? Feeva getting bored. Want chase fairies!"
I want to smash do we need to recruit yet another GM I for one want to keep the gobbies make king alive. the concept is brilliant even if we have lost two GM's in the process. Yes bolded for the world to see be loud and proud to be goblin kind.
I am willing.
I would play, but who knows who is still watching this board? Sucks it fell off the way it did.
Well, I'll also toss my hat in the ring to run this. I've been running kingmaker for a year and a half now for my local group, and we're mid-way through book 5. I've got a pretty good handle on the mechanics of kingdom building and mass combat. I like this group and would be happy to GM for y'all.
I'll also toss out that I have the Thornkeep book from the pathfinder mmo kickstarter. It's also set in the river kingdoms and the town of Thornkeep features a tribe of goblins who are itching to make a place in the world for themselves. I would love to run that, with the kingdom building and mass combat rules tacked on.