Castle Greyhawk! (Inactive)

Game Master Misroi

*casts conjure players*

I'm travelling today, but will build Legrand's profile tonight, and check in. Thanks for the opportunity...This should be fun.

"Grubyub dance
Grubyub laugh
He spins his 'chopper
And slices a calf!"

The goblin dances about his roasting fire as he chortles and gibbers and slobbers with glee.

Congrats everyone!

Now what would be funnier and useful for his Hunter's Bond later? A pet...
..raccoon whose a kleptomaniac named Sparkly?
...one-eyed badger who hates everyone but Grub named Rotteneye?
...dire rat with a penchant for rubbin against people's legs like a cat, name him Humpy cuz of the way rats look like they have humps when they walk...not because rubbing leads to other things

Up to my neck in studies today, but I'll have my profile up soon.

My vote goes out to Sparkly.

Fester arrives, dressed flamboyantly in alternating green and white stripes.

"I'd go with Rotteneye, myself," he offers as an aside to Grub.

Grub smiles his toothy grin and clasps his hands as people arrive to the campsite. "Welcome, new friends of Grubyub!" He dances and claps. "Me Grubyub Sloppybreach, famous archer of Master Orthios' Circus & Oddithings Show!l Me on own now but still great famousness is on me like smell of this meat! Come and eat..."

He pauses, his red eyes going wide. Grub bolts for his horsechopper and lops off the hrad of the animal roasting on the spit. "Head is Grub's! Cheek meat best! To the hunter go the spoiled!!" He hoists the head high and takes a bite.

Thanks for the votes! Keep 'em coming!

"Sir Waddaren" here.

Wait, uh, I just realised. I'd changed the application to a rogue with the same personality. That's the character that's chosen right? Or.... did you pick the cavalier anyway, pony issues included? (I'm kind of attached to his "purports to be a noble and honest duelist but is actually a braggart and a cheat" personality, by now)

I'm a little lost now.

Waiting for an answer before I put up a full profile.

Bob the witch stands gazing up at the gates of Castle Greyhawk. Dristen stands next to him and does the same. Well, Dristen, We've come to your last test to gain entrance into the Merc Guild. Conquer Castle Greyhawk. Bob turns as others are approach. Oh look, other suckers- friends- will be joining you. Enjoy. With a flick of a wand Bob dissapears.

Dristen stands next to the doors, watching a rag tag bunch approach. He pets Fin, his pet fox, and smiles, "Did you hear that Fin? Friends!"

Badger, although the dynamic with my pack fox will be interesting

"I think goblin dog mount so you can fire arrows from its back. Little goblin would be interesting as mounted combat track. Duncan will keep the bad monsters off his new friends. I am good for that."

Yes boys, we are going with fourth wall breaking idiot savant.

I can't decide if I want to read everyone's backgrounds to familiarize myself or if I should play it Whose Line Party Guests style. You could say I am of two minds on this one.

If you choose to read them, wait for a bit before you get to mine. I'm still not sure which of my characters the DM intends for me to pick. (I would rather the rogue, for that matter, but the DM used the Cavalier's name...)

I meant to use the rogue's name, since that's the most recent one you described. While I don't think that having a balanced party will be incredibly important, I did try to stay pretty close to having the roles covered.

Whew, alright. Thanks. Profile coming up soon, probably tomorrow or tuesday at worst.

If it's alright with you, I'd like to add in the "Swashbuckler" archetype. It seems rather fitting, and him having Trapfinding is a little odd to me.

Well, I went and got my profile done now, actually. I had some ideas while putting it down, so some slight adjustements have been made to the build. I hope that's fine. (Primarily, I swapped some skills and changed my Iron Will feat to Quick Draw.)

PMed you a question, DM, when that's resolved, my profile will be ready.

To my fellow player, a request: Don't take anything Darius says about any of your characters personally. He's not a nice man, but I am. If I take it too far, let me know and I'll tone it down.

"So these are the fools I'm going to be stuck with? Huff." Darius spits on the ground, disgusted. "Repulsive."

"Fools? Fools? Do I look like a fool to you?" Fester says, indignantly, the bells on his cap jingling.

Darius Quint stares blankly at Fester. "Honestly? I'm not even going to bother answering that."

"Ah-HA!" Fester says, pointing at the larger man. "Exercising your fifth amendment rights, eh? Your Honor," he turns, talking apparently to empty air, "I object!"

Yes, you should totally read backgrounds, for all the good it will do you.

By the way, if it is not readily apparent, Fester is completely insane and, in fact, may, at any particular moment: Break the fourth wall, recognize that there is a fourth wall, experience a moment of lucidity and realize that he is a character in a game, amuse himself by making strange sounds, decide that now is a good time to practice his bagpipes, etc.

Oh, and he has no bagpipes.

I'd read the histories if for anything it'll give you some context.
As for in character rudeness, heh, don't worry, it makes it more fun! Besides, Grub at some point may "accidentally" set fire to something. Now that's rude!!

Grub chuckles with delight. While would normally find a gnome a most delicious prospect, the little goblin finds the one named Fester tickles his stomach differently. He shifts the animal head he was munching on under his arm and stabs a finger at the newcomer human. "Hee hee, Mister Fancypants get snobby with Fester....hee hee, Fester ignore Mister Fancypants."

The goblin wags a finger at the finely dressed man. "You lucky you have Fester make you laugh. Lucky you have Grubyub Sloppybreach the Great Archer and his new friends to watch back so you no get fancy pants dirty!! Grub sniffs and returns to munching the animal head.

"Yes, yes, whatever you say," Darius dismisses Grubyub with a wave of his hand before walking away with a shudder of disgust.

"A goblin. Of all things, a bloody pestiferous goblinoid. What is a man to do for decent company?"

Grubyub sniffs back at the fancy human, eyes narrowing as he wonders if he's just been dismissed. His thin fingers search under his cap and find an itch to scratch, then travel down to his posterior to do the same, all the while he cogitates on the fancy man.

A conclusion dawns within the little creature's mind as he pulls the animal head forward again (it becomes apparent in the campfire light that it's a dog's head) and takes another bite. Grubyub call you Fancyman, make sense cuz of fancy smell and fancy clothes!

@Hey Lunk, comin' at ya!
He hitches up his breeches a bit with his free hand and heads over to the giant human that had also arrived earlier. The goblin smiles toothily, his resplendent, pointy teeth really the only things clean on his whole body. "Hey!" he shifts his stance so his back is straight as his balloon-like head cranes upwards to look at Duncan. "Me Grubyub Sloppybreech, famous archer of Master Orthos' Circus & Odd Thingamajigs Show! You know me, big famousness!!" He holds a hand out sweeping in the aura of celebrity dancing in his mind.

Grub points at the animal roasting slowly on the spit over the campfire. "Me great hunter, you giant!!" He pauses long enough to place the animal head he's eating on the ground at his feet, then thinks of its safety and places a soiled goblin boot on it to claim it as his own. Then he clasps his hands together to imitate the ritual he'd seen humans do when coming to an agreement. "Grubyub get you food and scout, you stop bad guys from stomping Grubyub, yes?"

He stretches out a hand in expectation.

Dristen hurries up to Lunk and Grubyub. "You're really famous? I've never heard of you?"

Fester begins a godawful caterwauling that sounds like a cat being given a forcible neutering without anesthetic. Anyone looking over at him will notice that his hands and arms are positioned as though he were playing bagpipes, though indeed, he has no instruments but rather is imitating the sound of such with his mouth. Poorly.

"Of course you know Grub!" the goblin stands as though he's about to loose an arrow. A stance made all the better with his one foot planted on the animal head. "Grubyub Sloppybreech!! Archer extra or air!!!" He does his best impression of Ring master Orthos.

When it's plain that it hasn't worked, he reaches his spindly hands into his trousers to a secretpocket and withdraws a folded paper. He shakes it vigorously until a poster is revealed. Grub smiles broadly as it flaps in the night air.

"Master Orthos' Circus & Oddities presents: Grubyub the Tamed Goblin and his tricks!!" Reading the poster, it becomes obvious that Grub doesn't read.

"There, now you feel heat of Grubyub's famousness, halfling!! Who you?" The goblin wraps the poster and safeguards it back in his pants.

As Fester begins bagpiping, Grub beigins humming along in his shrill toneless voice. The words of a rhyme slowly form in his mind.
"Grub is fast
He can't be caught
He cut off you ears
And eat 'em with salt!!!"

He chitters with a menacing but child like glee. The he opens beady red eyes and looks to the halfling again. "Who you?" He asks again. "You want safety from big Lunk? Me ask first!"

"I am Dristen Dagger. And this here is my pack fox, Fin. Say hello Fin"

Handle Animal: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (16) + 8 = 24

Fin yips. You can see his body shake underneath the saddlebags that are strapped to his back.

Grub takes an involuntary step back, but realizing quickly it's not a dog, he grins broadly. "What he carry? Spices? Seasoning? He food?"

Handle Animal: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (18) + 4 = 22 "Scratchy, scratchy, Fin Finny Foo!" He leans down and attempts to scratch it behind the ears.

"Grubyub has pet too. He not here, he get food."

LeGrande stands a little to the side watching the posturing, and banter between the others. They are like my master. I will probably have to do all the work here as well. Still I see potential in a few of them.

He moves his lithe small body carefully forward, and is a horse croak introduces himself.

"Greetings all". "I am called LeGrande". "I am a master of potions, poisons, and bombs, and things that go tick in the night". "I hope we will be able to keep each other alive".

"He's going to carry treasure back to the Jagger Coast Merc Guild so I can join! I was too poor to get a pony though, so I befriended a fox. What kind of pet?"

"Well met Legrande, I am Dristen. Potions you say? Do you have one that could make me big?"

"Potions, is it? Fascinating."

"At least I'm not the only one bringing more than ridiculous antics and pointless noise to the table. We need that jester about as much as we need an accordion."

"So, what about you, halfling?" Darius asks Drysten, looking at him from above and making it clear that he's ignoring his name not by oversight, but quite deliberately. "Do you bring anything useful to this group, other than some overburdened mutt?"

Dristen sighs. "It's a fox, not a mutt. And he's not overburdened, look" Dristen flips open one of the flaps, "Empty."

Dristen uses touch of madness on Grubyub. It has no effect

"If you want to see what I can do, why don't you take a swing at me. No, noit with your sword, just try to punch me." Dristen will go defensive.

"Grubyub pet named Sparkly, he raccoon, he get me stuff sometimes..."

The arrival of the grippli sets Grub's jaw ajar. "You frogman..." he says in awe. "You have pretty colors... then the rest of what the newcomer said clicks in the goblin's mind. "You fire maker, Grubyub like fire makers...you trade me hunt you food for fire boom blasty thingy?"

Fester changes instruments, now moving his hands as though playing an accordion, all the while making horrible squawking noises that sound for all the world like two ducks in heat caught up in a juicer.

Darius' eyebrow twitches as the jester becomes noisier and noisier.

"You! Cease this ignoble brouhaha at once!"

Then, at Dristen's provocation, he chuckles and nods.

"Well, if you so politely demand it..."

Darius takes a few agile steps towards Dristen, apparently aiming a straight toe kick directly at the halfling's forehead. "Let's see you counter this!"

Feint Bluff: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (7) + 6 = 13
DC 13 (10+Dristen's WIS since he's untrained in Sense Motive) = Success

At the last minute, however, he bends his knee and shifts his weight leaning forward next to Drysten, poised to take advantage of the imbalance his feint would cause. His elbow is right at Dristen's jaw height.

Sneaky jerk, isn't he?

I am so finicky with my characters before a game starts: Traded in my pocketed scarf and 2gp for a pair of spring-loaded sheaths, and swapped Quick Draw back to Iron Will

As soon as Darius' back is to him, Fester silently imitates him, mocking his stance and movements.

hmmmm, I wonder how Sudden shift works with feint. Since you didn't actually follow through with an attack, can I shift? Or does you pulling the elbow at the end count as a missed attack? For the purposes of good RPing let's call it the latter. I can backtrack if GM thinks otherwise.

Dristen's eyes widen as the elbow comes near his face, and then just as suddenly Drysten is standing behind Darius. Oi! What are you trying to hit me for? Good thing I'm pretty quick.

Hm... logically my feint wouldn't trigger your shift at all, meaning you wouldn't use it up, but you'd be denied your dexterity next turn. Not that this would stop you from shifting.

Darius stumbles off balance as his blow misses, but stands up quickly, not worse for wear.

"Ahh. A magic user, I see. Not a bad technique. Of course, had I intended to actually strike you, I would have."

I'm not even going to roll a bluff for such a bald-faced lie. Players do not bluff players.

"What are you shouting at me for? You told me to take a swing. I did exactly as asked."

Darius unsheathes his rapier, a shiny, polished affair with a carved hand guard, and inspects its blade.

"What fool would ask a skilled duelist to take a swing at them and not expect a difficult blow to avoid, honestly?"

For reference: Loot is a sacred thing out of character. Darius may be a dishonest person, but he won't be sneaking any loot. That's something you just don't do. :P I also promise not to screw the party over. I expect the same from you guys.

"People so noisy, Duncan just wants to get started with adventures. Um, is that too much to ask for? Maybe mighty awesome controller of our fates would be nice enough to send us an adventure." The oaf looks around expectantly. He suddenly spies the fox, not having payed too much attention till now."Ooh a puppy. Can I play with your puppy mister? I could carry you on my back so you could be bigger. Oooh oooh and I could carry the puppy on my shoulder like a bird. Oh please can I play with the puppy!"

I'm also quite eager to start.

Docile Drysten realizes he is about to shout at someone much bigger tgan him and decides against it. I'm sure i must have than, sorry, my head is just a little clouded right now. And i am mot just ant magic user, I'm a cleric of- Drysten cuts off as he sees the even bigger man moving towards Fyn. It's a fox, not a puppy. And you can pet him if you are very careful. I think one small pet should be enough.

"Oh goody, I like puppies. I wanted to be a ranger or a druid, or maybe even a summoner, just so I could have a puppy of my very own, but Uncle Horace said I didn't have the stats to be anything but a fighter." The large man reaches out to pet the poor fox. The wrong way of coure, mussing its hair something fierce.

When he hears Lunk talking to the sky, Grub whispers out of the side of his mouth, still focused on the Grippli. "Who you talk to, giant-man?"

Apologies in advance if I seem curt or short over the next couple of weeks. I'm fighting for disability and getting nothing but flack, and we just found out that the store where my wife has worked as a manager for 12 years is closing in November. So we're kind of screwed. I will try not to let it come across in game, but just in case...

Also, if I am holding tings up, please feel free to GMPC me.

Duncan smiles down at Grubyub."I speak to the big man who chooses our adventure. He is the controller of fates. Some call him the Dungeon Master, some the Storyteller. I think he works for Beory but I'm not sure. Grammy tells me I'm stupid and he doesn't exist, but I know he does. At least I think so. He should a started us on one by now."

haha, nice zinger there. I'm still trying to decide how Dristen would react to this guy

Grubyub thinks for a moment. The he shrugs and smiles. "Good, glad for sky person. One less thing for Grubyub to think about."

He turns back to the Grippli and says. "So how bout, many-colored Frogman? You make special bing bang boom fire maker for Grubyub?"

Fester glances briefly at the note above and misreads it. "Hey, nobody told me this was a musical production!"

Clearing his throat, he belts out a tune that sounds like a piece of steel re-bar going through a wood chipper. "Oooohhhhhhhk-lahoma! Where the wind comes sweeping down the plains!"

Good luck with everything, fester.

And indeed, our DM seems to be suffering from an acute case of Notthereitis.

Gear added: Two sets of brass knuckles. A good adventurer owes it to himself to keep a bludgeoning weapon on hand. One never knows when a skeleton will pop out.

"Grubyub pet named Sparkly, he raccoon, he get me stuff sometimes..."

The arrival of the grippli sets Grub's jaw ajar. "You frogman..." he says in awe. "You have pretty colors... then the rest of what the newcomer said clicks in the goblin's mind. "You fire maker, Grubyub like fire makers...you trade me hunt you food for fire boom blasty thingy?"

"Thank you for the compliment". "I can make bombs, and explosives, but at this stage they are only safe for me to use". "you're certainly welcome to watch me and share the experience though" , LeGrande says with a smile.

Grub's all teeth, grinning like a monstrous child as he dances back and forth and spins in circles. He darts over to the campfire and grabs up a log where he can wield it safely and twirl it around himself. The goblin begins dancing about the campfire in delight.

"Grub watch fire
Laughs as it glows
Almost as fun as
lighting up homes!!"