Why I quit role-playing and tabletop

[Syberion]

I started playing pathfinder at a local game shop as society was coming out to test out the game as a favor. I ended up enjoying it but wanted to play more.

Eventually I even went to cons like gen-con. I really enjoyed it. Even just walking around to see the cosplay was a blast.

After a while I wanted to start playing in private games like campaigns. Every person I ever asked never wanted me in their games. Even one person didn't want me playing in other peoples games.

The guy I tested the first game out for society when I asked him to keep me in mind when others were starting a campaign or looking for players refused to mention my interest to anyone at my local game shop.

Another guy at my local game shop advertised online that they needed players for a campaign. I responded and was refused for a "lack of experience" but I wasn't asked what my experience was or told what amount of experience I needed.

A little while later I started running society games dispite not being interested in doing so. To me I disliked the experiences because I second guess myself and think the worst things about my performance as a DM.

After a while I noticed another player being treated poorly for their enthusiasm with the game. I had to stop playing. It felt as though these games being ran at my local game shop were merely being ran/facilitated to find players for the groups that were excluding myself and others.

The guy I noticed that was being treated poorly... I haven't seen him at that shop in a very long time. I also have stopped going because I don't feel welcome there.

Game shops, tabletop groups, etc. Need to stop acting like bullies. I'll never play another RPG because of these experiences and I may never come up to my local shop to play another game ever again. And in my case this one shop is practically my only option.

[Berhagen]

I am sorry to hear that. It is difficult to judge the “why” for your personal situation and I don’t know where you live.

However, Role players are like all people are a mixed bunch. Depending on where you are at, it might be a group of old friends, fanatical power players, a very open an friendly bunch, a lot of antisocial figures, amateur thespians, people mainly socializing with a game as an excuse or anything else or in between.

Not all groups (or game stores) are friendly regrettably. Hopefully one location does not irreversibly turn you away from gaming and I do hope you eventually find a group / place that is more open and friendly. There is the risk that the one game store (and the groups based out of it) have a certain “culture” that is less than friendly to say the least….(like tends to attract like….)

I know in my area we have multiple groups, actual gaming clubs, an organization organizing a small gaming con every 2 months etc…. all providing (different) options. Hope you also find something for you.

[Jonathan Morgantini]

We are genuinely sorry you had a bad experience with Society play at your local shop. While we cannot police individual stores, issues can always be raised to the volunteer venture officers, or to campaign leadership if necessary via email at [e-mail]. If you have any other questions or comments, you can also reach the campaign staff at that email.

[W E Ray]

While I can't say "in my experience starting gaming in 1981" -- I can certainly at least say "in my experience in the past 10-15 years" that the only time I've seen or heard of a player being treated sorta/kinda this way -- by Multiple players and groups and even a Store Owner, there was some serious social issue regarding the player. I'm thinking of a time about 7 years ago where a player at a game store was so belligerent and rude to the players he gamed with that no one wanted to be around him. That was extreme; I've seen quite a few jerks at gaming table over the decades -- though the VAST majority of gamers I've seen have been fine -- or AWESOME.

I guess if you're completely done with gaming you likely would not have started this Thread -- if you still are interested in gaming, well, if the folks at your game store don't like you and won't game with you, there's still a great many other folks that will be happy to. You can always find an online community.

There have been times where I was:

concerned that, because I'm very Liberal yet in a very conservative part of the US, that I would struggle to find a gaming group to invite to my house. (Indeed, I lost a few players a couple years ago for political reasons.)

In any case, good luck.

[Dancing Wind]

So, nothing has changed in the past seven years since you last posted?

[DungeonmasterCal]

I don't know how old you are, but I have heard So.Many.Stories about people in their late teens to mid-twenties who are very interested in the hobby and trying to get into groups just to be treated like absolute crap by the "established" players. It's very sad and damaging to the hobby as a whole.

[Dancing Wind]

I'm using the "baiting" flag to indicate posts that are trolling, since there isn't a specific flag for that behavior.

[Goth Guru]

W E Ray wrote:

While I can't say "in my experience starting gaming in 1981" -- I can certainly at least say "in my experience in the past 10-15 years" that the only time I've seen or heard of a player being treated sorta/kinda this way -- by Multiple players and groups and even a Store Owner, there was some serious social issue regarding the player. I'm thinking of a time about 7 years ago where a player at a game store was so belligerent and rude to the players he gamed with that no one wanted to be around him. That was extreme; I've seen quite a few jerks at gaming table over the decades -- though the VAST majority of gamers I've seen have been fine -- or AWESOME.

I guess if you're completely done with gaming you likely would not have started this Thread -- if you still are interested in gaming, well, if the folks at your game store don't like you and won't game with you, there's still a great many other folks that will be happy to. You can always find an online community.

** spoiler omitted **

In any case, good luck.

This. There is some issue that you are not comfortable with sharing here, and I just want to say the problem is with them. I've played with kids, males roleplaying as females, and I myself have played a changeling with multiple personality disorder. Having an open mind is crucial to getting a game together. Check out comic book stores, game stores, and even plain book stores. You might find other outcasts and or venues.

[Ricoroys]

I've had a tough time in the tabletop gaming community. Despite my interest in Pathfinder and attending events like Gen-Con, I've faced rejection when trying to join private campaigns. Even when I offered to run games, I struggled with self-doubt. It became clear that certain groups at my local game shop weren't inclusive, and witnessing another player being mistreated was disheartening. I've stopped going to the shop altogether, and it's made me question whether I want to continue with RPGs. It's frustrating that my only local option has left me feeling excluded.

[Steve Geddes]

Ricoroys wrote:

I've had a tough time in the tabletop gaming community. Despite my interest in Pathfinder and attending events like Gen-Con, I've faced rejection when trying to join private campaigns. Even when I offered to run games, I struggled with self-doubt. It became clear that certain groups at my local game shop weren't inclusive, and witnessing another player being mistreated was disheartening. I've stopped going to the shop altogether, and it's made me question whether I want to continue with RPGs. It's frustrating that my only local option has left me feeling excluded.

I can sympathise with that. I’m also struggling with finding a place in the rpg world, atm. And in that situation it’s easy to feel that it’s your own failings, rather than the community.

Fwiw, there are many more opportunities and technologies to help with online gaming if that might work for you.

Online gaming has its own inclusion problem, but if you can find your way through that, there may well be the perfect group for you out there in the internet somewhere.