Play a half orc paladin to get access to ferocious resolve, but take Fey Foundling at 1st level. Take Power attack at 5th level and greater mercy at 7th. Keep your AC low enough that you are a tempting target. Warrior of the Holy Light will get you extra lay on hands, but cost your spell casting. The feat antagonize would also be useful for a build like this.
Oracle of life has the revelation Life Link which allows you to take damage for your teammates, but the number of links is based on your oracle level. This might work if you don’t mind most of your level being Oracle instead of paladin and being more focused on spells.
Personally, I would stick with a straight paladin.
Actually on reading the post over again an oracle of life might be what you’re looking for. Take two level s of Paladin to get CHA to saves and lay on hands and the rest goes into oracle. Worship Serenade and take here divine fighting style to allow you to deal non-lethal damage with spells with the fire, light or good descriptor and when using a scimitar.
Fey Foundling - Feat - +2 HP per die rolled on healing to you.
Bodyguard + In Harm’s Way - Feats - boost an adjacent allies AC, intercept damage if they would still be hit
If you’re not planning on attacking anyway, I think a pei zin practitioner Oracle fits what you want more. Paladin doesn’t get you much besides some better saves.
The spell shield other is mostly doing what you are talking about with taking others damage. The oracle power life link cleans up the rest
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Assuming you want a paladin (which you said you definitely did!) your bread-and-butter spells are going to be
Shield Other - take half the HP damage of an ally. Can be cast multiple times to cover multiple targets; you can take damage for all of them.
Paladin’s sacrifice - take all the damage or other negative effects from one attack/failed saving throw.
Hero’s defiance - emergency self-healing.
Race - Kyton-Spawn tiefling is the best option. You are going to be soaking a ton of HP damage so you want high Con as well as Cha.
Feats - Fey Foundling is cheesy but by far the best way to keep up your HP.
Your two best archetype options are a Hospitaler or a Sacred Servant.
The Hospitaler’s big benefit is a completely independent pool of channels (does not expend usages of Lay on Hands). The Sacred Servant gets a domain - and domain spell slots - as well as the ability to empower her holy symbol to heal even more with her channels. The Hospitaler is probably the better choice. (If the healing domain ability applied to LoH or Channel, it would be the SS.)
A very useful ability would be the Life Link revelation from the Life mystery of the Oracle class, which causes you to take 5 hp of damage each round for each linked ally who is down by at least that many hp, healing each such ally for 5 hp. Take as many levels in that class as you have allies for maximum benefit from this ability (alternating with Paladin as necessary to keep the latter class as primary). You need to be very good at self healing to make this work, as this ability does not cut off on its own if you lose consciousness.
For your curse, Wrecker is a good choice as it mainly penalizes weapon attacks (which you don't want to do much of anyway) and favors damaging objects rather than living things. Archetype options are wide open, with Warsighted being the only one that is at all inappropriate.
On the paladin side, you want to take an archetype that swaps out Smite Evil for a less violent or completely non-violent option. A quick perusal of the list at aonprd.com suggests Invigorator, Martyr, Redeemer, Sacred Shield, and Tranquil Guardian as possibilities.
Feats are mostly to boost your combat ability. Since you don’t want to harm others, you can afford to trade away your feats. The Oracle of life revelation life link would be very useful for you but is based on Oracle level. You could take the VMC Oracle to gain the life link that would progress. This would also allow you to pick up the stabilize Orison. At 15th level you could pick up channel to give you another pool of channel positive energy.
If you really want to boost your healing, take the Hospitaler and Marty archetypes. Stigmata trades away smite evil for access to some bardic performances. It also allows you to use your lay on hands at range. This build would be less about healing yourself, and more about supporting others, so Fey Foundling is not going to be as helpful. Going Half orc on this allows you to spend a feat to get ferocity.
If you want to focus on self-healing don’t go Martyr. You can still take the VMC Oracle but in this case Fey Foundling and Kyton Spawned Tiefling would be better. If you go for Tiefling take Soul Seer to see the health of others.
Take Divine Bond Agathion from the healer's handbook to boost your healing even higher when you need it.
Oradin Stalwart Defender Ninja bodyguard truly is the peak "take cover mr president!" build you could make.
(Ninja is for the Bodyguard feats, also stealth/ki)
^---- I second this.