RPG Superstar 2009 Top 4
|
School of Eyes
Aura moderate divination CL 10th
Slot - ; Price 95,000gp ; Weight -
DESCRIPTON
This item first appears as a syrupy potion with an eyeball floating within. Once drunk a school of floating fish with large eyes for heads protrude from the drinker's body within 1d4 days. This process is very painful and stuns the drinker for 1d12 rounds. Once “born” these eyes hover near their parent host at all times, allowing them to see through their eyes, granting their parent the ability to see in all directions.
The parent of the school gains a +10 competence bonus on Perception checks. They also retain their Dexterity bonus to AC when flat-footed, and they cannot be flanked.
Eyes may also be sent out scouting, as per the prying eyes spell three times per day. Any situation that effects the parent's sights can effect the eye school as well; such as darkness, magical light, or fog. An eye that is destroyed is reborn in 1d4 days. The school my be released by the host at will, though once released they can not be returned.
CONSTRUCTION
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Brew Potion, prying eyes, unseen servant, a humanoid eye Cost 47,500gp
Wierd for the sake of wierdness. Just trying to go gonzo and grab our attention. Not doing it for me. In fact, like the [name of other item removed], I am feeling somewhat patronized by this submission.
Reject.
Wierd /= Good
Kobold Press
|
I love this as a Call of Cthulhu or plain old horror item, but it's a little weird for core sword-and-sorcery.
A robe of eyes for the poor adventurer. I really, really like the flavor, but it's pretty out there. Mechanically... It's ok.
I'm thinking this is one I'll remember. Whether it rates Top 32 is another question entirely.
Dont you get the feeling, though, that this entry is wierd on purpose just to grab attention. I mean, its not quite the [reference to other item removed] item, I grant you that.
All right, lets say for the sake of argument I dont want to reject it just 'cause I feel it is intentionally pissing me off by trying to grab my attention by being wierd on purpose.
Now lets turn to the mechanics.
I dont think the item is well-detailed. So the eyes are permanent after the rather gross birthing process? That means the item is basically a prying eye item that can be used 3/day. That is pretty sweet, actually.
Though it has some of the benefits of a robe of eyes it doesnt detail all of the limitations that item has--the wearer of a robe of eyes, for instance, "is not able to avert her eyes or close her eyes when confronted by a creature with a gaze attack"; and it provides that a "light or continual flame spell cast directly on a robe of eyes causes it to be blinded for 1d3 minutes. A daylight spell blinds it for 2d4 minutes." I think this item needs those limitations spelled out as well. The Pathfinder version of this item has these limitations as well.
As a side note, this item buffs Perception which is consistent with the Pathfinder version of the robe of eyes, though the SRD version buffs Search and Spot. So at least our guy kept his consistent with the Pathfinder rules. Still no explanation for the lack of provisions for blindness, etc.
It bothers me that there is no Charisma or other mod listed for someone who has a school of these wierd eyes floating around him. You'd think that would be relevant info to include in the item description.
I also think the "release the school" mechanic needs more detail. What does this mean?
Finally, I think the costing is off. Granted, it doesnt do everything a robe of eyes can do--it doesnt see ethereal or grant darkvision. But it also does more than a robe of eyes--it grants prying eyes 3/day. If anything, the cost should be pretty close to the same--and the robe costs 120,000, which is more than twice the cost of this item.
I dont know. I like some of the creep out and some of the idea. I think it has enough issues when combined with the fact I feel they are trying to play us with wierdness.
{Once drunk a school of floating fish with large eyes for heads}
How many of these are there? I assume 1d4+CL like the prying eyes spell, but it's unclear.
{protrude from the drinker's body within 1d4 days. This process is very painful and stuns the drinker for 1d12 rounds.}
Unclear when this happens ... every few hours over the course of the 1d4 days? All of a sudden at the end of the 1d4 days?
Unclear how they got their 95,000gp price tag. Probably based on robe of eyes but hard to know for sure (if it wasn't a superstar submission I'd expect the designer to include the math on this).
So is this an item that you have ... forever? There appears to be no way to get rid of the things once you take the potion, they just keep spawning.
Hmm, and technically that means this is a slotless item, which means I'd scrutinize the pricing even more carefully (slotless = 2x slotted price).
I'm neutral. My unanswered questions make me grumpy, but the novelty of the item pleases me.
Agreed. Keep it around for awhile.
Do we need a new folder: "Definately Maybe"
Agreed. Keep it around for awhile.
Do we need a new folder: "Definately Maybe"
Do we wanna have Vic or Gary create such a thing? Else we risk having these guys cluttering up the unvoted section, or (worse) getting lost.
I guess I could just hit Keep. We can sort them out later. I think it is clear that we arent unanimous in our excitement for this one. But no need to have it clog up the main forum.
For the record, I still think this is bad gonzo. This is no Migrus.
Kept.
aka Robert G. McCreary
|
And here comes the gonzo! Floating fish with giant eye-heads protruding from your body?!? For flavor - definitely cool, definitely creepy, definitely gonzo. The name grabbed me right off the bat, making it one of the first I looked at.
But...
Lots of problems. As the other judges said, there's a lot of info missing. How many eyes are there? Can I attack the eyes? If so, does it affect the parent in any way? How many eyes are there? What if someone tries to blind the eyes? etc.
One answer could be: as prying eyes, but then it should say so in the description. And if it just like prying eyes, is this anything more than a spell-in-a-can? Or if not, is it just a cheaper, creepier robe of eyes?
And something that just occurred to me - if a player drinks this, and is suddenly surrounded by floating eye-fish, can they ever get rid of them? Is it permanent? etc, etc.
I think this raises lots and lots of questions that need to be answered.
But full marks for gonzo creativity! I'd love to spring this on some players just to see their reaction!
|
Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4, Legendary Games
|
Congratulations on making it into RPG Superstar 2009!
Well, this is the last item on my list to review, and to me it's a bit of a down note to finish on. The flavor is cool in a creepy way, and while I'm not the king of gonzo I can get with some weird and creepalicious stuff. I would rather it just spawned as floating eyeballs than little fishies, but that's just a matter of taste. The icky eyeball juice storage container is a fun note as well. I like the no-flank/all around sight trait the eyes give you.
Once we get down to mechanics, though, it's a mess. The Superjudges and Rob have already asked most or all of the questions I would ask, so I won't repeat them. If I'm the "item costing police," the slotless nature of the eyes should drive the price WAY up.
Summary: I really like the idea of the cloud of floating eyeballs/big-eyed fishies. It's creepy and weird and would be a lot of fun to use in a game. As a Superstar item entry, though, the mechanics need a lot of work. Focus on that in your future entries in the contest, or your competitors will "take you to school." (ba dum bum - here endeth my puns)
Contributor, RPG Superstar
aka Leandra Christine Schneider
|
I am not opposed to little creative craziness and out of the world ideas. After all, I welcome you to the RPG Superstar 09 and we asked for attention grabbing stuff.
Unclear when this happens ... every few hours over the course of the 1d4 days? All of a sudden at the end of the 1d4 days?
If the "within" were an "after"...like it is, it is undefined.
And something that just occurred to me - if a player drinks this, and is suddenly surrounded by floating eye-fish, can they ever get rid of them? Is it permanent? etc, etc.
As far as I see, yes. Once the fishy things are spawned, they remain until the end of time or until they are "released" (at will). This is covered up in the description.
Positive:
It is really creepy, maybe even the creepiest this year?
Adding brew potion to the feat requirements showed attention to detail.
Negative:
Unfortunately, the fishy thing didn’t do it for me this time. Maybe because the little ones reminded me of a "Simpsons" fish (although these have 3 eyes). Sorry.
Additionally, I have to invoke the bad pricing pharse again (this is covered in detail up there though).
After reviewing all other items:
It is one of the two creepiest things in this years contests. That’s a plus. Overall I am not a huge fan though, but I am sure you can do much better in future rounds, so I am looking forward to that.
|
Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4
|
THIS. IS. INSANE.
And I say that as a fan of the insane: sometimes fantasy should be less Tolkien and more Heavy Metal - this item is Chine Mieville on an absinthe-bender.
I love it. But it's also a little ... slip-shod in its execution. I have a whole ton of questions, like:
- How many eye-fish do I get? Is it 1d4+CL, like in the spell prying eyes? And when do I roll? Can I get more eye-fish if all of the eye-fish die and they re-spawn out of my body?
- How big are the eye-fish? The eyes from prying eyes are Fine constructs, the size of "a small apple" - is that the size of the just the eyes, or of the entire eye-fish?
- Are the eye-fish treated as the eyes from prying eyes in all ways? Meaning, they have only 1 hit-point apiece? Is that why this item is so cheap - every time I get hit with an area-effect damage spell, I'm out the item for 1d4 days?
These are questions that I'm 111% sure the creator of this item could answer - but these questions, at the moment, HAVE no answers. That's bad design.
I want the progenitor of this frighteningly brilliant, madly beautiful item to rock on in subsequent rounds of this competition. With some work, it'll happen.
Congratulations, and I look forward to seeing MUCH more as Superstar! rolls on!
|
RPG Superstar 2010 Top 16
|
Hey, congratulations.
I think the main issue for me is that this seems more like an invoked template than a Wondrous Item. (After all, once you use it, it's hard to sell to someone else. Hmmm. If you're swallowed whole by a behir, what happens in 1-4 days?)
I think the stunning for 1d12 rounds accomplishes little, other than, like, gives people a chance to roll a d12. It's unlikely to happen in combat, and being stunned for five rounds while the party is resting in a sealed room, or eating in a tavern, doesn't seem like a big deal. I'd have preferred to see bursting buboes of ocular fish do damage.
Can anyone use this item? Constructs? Undead? As Boomer says, this is insane.
First up, i have to say i love the idea, it is utterly cool, like something out of a Dave Mackean picture or from the pages of Sandman. It reminds me a little of discord's fish on a string.
Mechanics are meh. I could live with that, but this is ment to be an all round challange, based on all aspects of item creation, not just cool ideas.
Contributor, RPG Superstar 2012
,
Star Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 9
|
The wording in the first two sentences leaves me scratching my head, but once I get past that I can see why the judges picked this one. It's a "weird" item, but it has a great deal of usefulness.
Congratulations!
Creepy flavor and feel, but *shrug* on the item. I think this is more weird than wondrous for me.
|
|
Freaksome. I like that aspect of it, but some of the mechanical aspects trouble me.
If the birthing of the eyes stuns the drinker for 1d12 round, and it takes 1d4 days for the birthing to occur, what's the point? By that, I mean, what's the chance that the stun is going to occur at some point that is dramatically relevant? Some sort of 'morning sickness' that caused the drinker to suffer the Sickened Condition throughout the entire 1d4 days of the gestation might be a more relevant and less hard-to-nail-down limitation.
When an eye is destroyed, the lost eye is replaced within 1d4 days as well. Does the drinker suffer another 1d12 round stun when that single eye sprouts forth, or does that only occur when he's hatching a whole litter of eyes?
Mmm. Creepy. I could definitely add a shuddersome villain who uses such floating eyeballs to scout around, but I prefer my magic items to be something that a PC might realistically use. This feels more like an encounter thing. Having the effect become a permanant 'power' for the drinker (rather than requiring him to go find another potion when he's gotten all of his little eye-babies killed off) also seems problematic.
Like the name. A little too gonzo in concept. There's flavor, I just don't know what I would use the flavor *for*. I think that's maybe what causes the "gonzo for gonzo's sake" reaction. A lack of a clear vision what sort of world this belongs in. It doesn't hint at a larger world.
It's a weird (in a good sort of way)... template? But it definitely seems rules-light. Too many unanswered questions, in the ritual itself, as well as stuff as mundane as the eyes themselves. You say they regrow if destroyed, but you don't tell us how they can be destroyed. Honestly, I can't really see any PC I've ever known making use of this. I'm afraid it's near the bottom of my list.
Congratulations on getting in, though, and I'm eager to see what you can come up with for round 2!
|
Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 6
,
Dedicated Voter Season 6
|
This is another item I would not vote for (in a hypothetical voting round) due to unclear mechanics. Unlike many of the others in that category, the flavor doesn't grab me, but rather puts me off my feed.
Maybe this level of creepy will play well on a villain.
I think the concept of this item is absolutely creepalicious!
I could easily see this as some sort of villainous item, or an item the party finds within the confines of some tentacle-filled cult hideout. Or with the fishy flavor, some sort of kuo-toa/sahaguin item? Aboleth worshipers maybe? Or perhaps it could be in the possession of some half mad wizard?
The rules could be cleaned up, but overall I think a lot of people missed some of the original description. I see a lot of questions about how spells and sight effects will effect the user's sight, when the description clearly states that anything that effects sight effects the user normally. It also clearly states that you can dismiss the swarm at will, and that when they are so dismissed, they are permanently gone.
I would like to see some rules on how durable the eyes are, as I can tell from the context in the description that they can be destroyed and reborn in 1d4 days. If they are very fragile, they could be used early on in an adventure to scout, etc, but may not always be available as the party is hit with more area effect damage and the like later on. If they are very fragile, that would explain the somewhat low item cost. This seems like an item that would be discovered (for flavor), rather than created anyway, so the cost is not terribly concerning for me.
As for all the "too gonzo" comments, not everyone wants to play generic vanilla fantasy. To each his/her own I suppose, but it is good that the value of something non-traditional was recognized here. I for one, LOVE the types of things which others consider "gonzo". It is fantasy after all.
-RBG
I think the concept of this item is absolutely creepalicious!
I could easily see this as some sort of villainous item, or an item the party finds within the confines of some tentacle-filled cult hideout. Or with the fishy flavor, some sort of kuo-toa/sahaguin item? Aboleth worshipers maybe? Or perhaps it could be in the possession of some half mad wizard?
The rules could be cleaned up, but overall I think a lot of people missed some of the original description. I see a lot of questions about how spells and sight effects will effect the user's sight, when the description clearly states that anything that effects sight effects the user normally. It also clearly states that you can dismiss the swarm at will, and that when they are so dismissed, they are permanently gone.
I would like to see some rules on how durable the eyes are, as I can tell from the context in the description that they can be destroyed and reborn in 1d4 days. If they are very fragile, they could be used early on in an adventure to scout, etc, but may not always be available as the party is hit with more area effect damage and the like later on. If they are very fragile, that would explain the somewhat low item cost. This seems like an item that would be discovered (for flavor), rather than created anyway, so the cost is not terribly concerning for me.
As for all the "too gonzo" comments, not everyone wants to play generic vanilla fantasy. To each his/her own I suppose, but it is good that the value of something non-traditional was recognized here. I for one, LOVE the types of things which others consider "gonzo". It is fantasy after all.
-RBG
With better mechanics, i could really see it fitting into a planescape campaign. I have to say that the mechanic issues bug me less and less the more i imagain them through a sepier filter having been drawin onto the world by Dave Mackean.
"School of Eyes?" Never in a million years would I guess what this item does. After reading it, all I can say was "Woah..." Creepy, strange, dark fantasy-oriented wondrous item. This would suit a disgusting villain, and dark PCs. It fits on the streets of Sigil, for example, and that strikes a chord within me.
The mechanics were practically trampled by how exotic and evocative this item is. Both thumbs up!
My only issue is how this does not impose a penalty on charisma. I mean... school of fish... on you. Seriously.
|
RPG Superstar 2009 Top 4
|
I truly believe that most Middle-Earth type settings need more Lovecraft/Clive Baker type horror elements in them, so that's what I went for.
A 3rd level commoner should fear going into the forest alone and most magic should have some negatives with their positives.
As for some of the comments... well I'm not as deep into the scene as most and I have no idea what gonzo means. Though I'm guessing it is something like "weird".
|
RPG Superstar 2010 Top 16
|
I have no idea what gonzo means. Though I'm guessing it is something like "weird".
(smile) Not just weird. To me, "gonzo" includes weird, and daring, and over the top, and not taking the safe road, and probably doomed.
Putting a continual light spell in the mouth of a ceramic frog to create a peculiar-looking jack-o-lantern light source is a little weird.
Adding a permanent ghost sound dwoemer on the thing that produces croaking noises tied to an triggered alarm effect, and rigging the thing to shatter and summon an advanced celestial dire toad when brought within 20 feet of a cleric of Asmodeus, and crafting a dozen of them and giving one to the Crown Princess as a voluntary tax, because you know she collects frogs, and also whipping up a gigantic silver frog-shaped reflecting pool with a perpeutal clairaudience effect tied to Her Highness's gift, gambling that her wicked Cheliax advisor is a cleric, all because you want to hear him die ... that's gonzo.
As for some of the comments... well I'm not as deep into the scene as most and I have no idea what gonzo means. Though I'm guessing it is something like "weird".
Gonzo is... hum... gonzo is...
It's a bit like... you remember the Muppets, how there's this character called Gonzo, whose staged acts always involves things like waterskiing on one foot while playing the ukulele to Yankee Doodle Dandy through two hoops of fire, while his crack crew of chicken stuntsgirls drive the speedboat and sing along?
Gonzo's like that. I think 'Over the top weird' sums it up.
I don't know if the term came from him or if he was named after it, but there you go.
---
Personally, I don't think this item was too gonzo for me, at all. The mechanics are a lil' odd in the way that it sounds like... it's impossible to rid him of his eyes for keeps, which makes it feel more like a template you can buy than anything else.
Flavor-wise, though, I find it intriguing. I'm not pulling Lovecraft or Melville so much as Labyrinth or maybe even Dark Crystal (which influence my scope of fantasy as much as darker stuff.) Sandman's a good call too, though, in that it can get creepy and whimsical in the same breath.
Well...ewwww...it creeps me out. But it's not really an item I'd want for my PC. Mechanically, it works fine. It oozes flavor, too. I'm just not sure it's a flavor I'd like to taste. If that makes any sense...
Regardless, you're in the Top 32! It'll be interesting to see what kind of flavor you bring to your villain. Good luck!
My two-cents,
--Neil
I think the "School of Eyes" would be better as a creepy sort of Ioun Stone. As such, it doesn't seem to have the mechanics necessary to be considered an item.
|
|
The rules could be cleaned up, but overall I think a lot of people missed some of the original description. I see a lot of questions about how spells and sight effects will effect the user's sight, when the description clearly states that anything that effects sight effects the user normally. It also clearly states that you can dismiss the swarm at will, and that when they are so dismissed, they are permanently gone.
You're right about those sight/dismissal issues being covered; funny, I completely missed them despite rereading it a couple of times, must be a phrasing thing that's making everyone skip over those details.
Actually it's probably the use of the word "Released" over the more typical "Dismissed" which is making everyone miss that one... now I've got images in my head of the poor orphaned schools of eye fish floating morosely around Golarion.
Actually it's probably the use of the word "Released" over the more typical "Dismissed" which is making everyone miss that one... now I've got images in my head of the poor orphaned schools of eye fish floating morosely around Golarion.
That image makes me sad. In a good way. I could write up an encounter or few based on lonely floating eye-fish.
And it's true that the fishes can be dismissed, but it doesn't seem like they can be destroyed (permenently,) or stolen, which makes it feel more template-like than item-ish to me... but heck, I'm already enjoying the imagery of a guy with a school of ocular floating fish floating around him, so I can't be too critical. Very surreal.
Seems a bit like something you might encounter in a Zelda game, with their fondness for cyclopsian eldritch-ness.
This is a wacky item, I'll give it that. Floating eyeball fish that birth from your body... very strange indeed.
OK, but how do we feel about it? Well, it's complex and I think some of the wording needs to be cleaned up a bit. For example, what do the eyes have for AC/HP/Saves, etc. If you got hit by a fireball, do the eyes also take damage from the blast? I guess it works like prying eyes, but I don't think the item description makes that clear enough.
|
|
And it's true that the fishes can be dismissed, but it doesn't seem like they can be destroyed (permenently,) or stolen, which makes it feel more template-like than item-ish to me...
I disagree about it being a template. I agree, that since it seems to stay around for a very long time(possibly read indefinitely) until dismissed, that maybe it's light on the cost. But I'm assuming that the effects could be dispelled or the user compelled to dismiss them. When I think of template I think of something like a vampire or undead, something that dictates the way that person lives or is likely to act, not an effect they received because they drank a potion.
Also, I guess I'm the only person who didn't view floating one eyed fish as creepy. They're not decaying or anything and in most fantasy settings where you might encounter a wizard with an even stranger familiar or live in fear of attacks from underground creatures, floating fish don't seem to be that out of place.
|
|
mmm
in general i like it
yes i agree with Sean, it should cause a loss of charisma while using it...
its a weird item that involves a cost, it almost feels like a curse... you might see everything you want... but only i yousuffer giving birth to all those strange fishes and bring them all around.
also, lets be real msot magic item including wondrous (every buff for attribtues) is permanent unless stolen... ok this one can't be stolen, but it can be dismissed... i would also give the fish hit points and hardness making them able to die... and most important... a dispell spell actually destroys them
First up, i have to say i love the idea, it is utterly cool, like something out of a Dave Mackean picture or from the pages of Sandman. It reminds me a little of discord's fish on a string.
Yeah, I read this and immediately thought, "Woot! It's Delirium's intangible fishies!"
I think the entry would be much more solid if the fish didn't regenerate and if the rounds of stunning were days of sickness/weakness/ability damage/whatever instead, but mechanics aside this item is all the best kinds of madness.
I read it, and I re-read it.
This item is just "wrong" (in a good way) in so many ways. :)
There is just no way I could ever see myself wanting this item though.
|
RPG Superstar 2009 Top 4
|
First, let me thank you. I am surprised as I am honored. Having publishers, designers, and my peers even wanting to talk about something I wrote seems unreal to me.
Not exceeding the 200 word mark was really the main wall to climb for me. This is a flavor heavy item that I wanted to use to scare, freak out, and worry my players with. I knew the flavor would be the selling point, not what the item actually did, so some of the much needed space needed to be set aside for those details. There is a lot of scare stuff in D&D that people that have been playing the game for twenty plus years don't see as horror any more. In a world were you are must likely to fight something undead every couple of level I believe there needs to be more elements to set your characters ill at ease. Even if something not dieing don't scream horror anymore, your own body turning against you always will.
As for the questions, I do realize a simple "acts like the prying eyes spell" or “the eyes have the same stats as the eyes from the prying eyes spell” would of subdued most of them and should have been inserted somewhere within.
The 1d12 rounds of stunning is more of a flavor additive, meant to happen when the school of eyes finally comes forth from the body. I want the player to feel violated and to think their own insides are betraying them. Adding this mechanic forces the DM to tell that part of the story, so even in a non role-playing heavy party you still get a PC feeling like they're Jeff Goldblum from the Fly. Though the stunning most likely will not happen in combat, it adds to what the participant's will take away for that night's session.
As for the cost, this is why I made it so cheap but please let me know what you think. The eyes act as the eyes from the prying eyes spell, so they only have one hit point. So any area of effect spell, save for half or not, will most likely snuff out your magic item for 1d4 days. So in most cases you will only have the item for the first half of dungeon and rarely for any boss fight.
Though it is unclear in the entry the player does go through the stunning every time the eyes are reborn. And I would personal play out that the "host" is sickened and in pain the 1d4 days to add to the whole "there's aliens inside you" theme, as there should be a price for free spells even if it's just from a role playing stand point. Forcing actual sicken negatives to stats though would be too much because the eye fish will be dieing all the time, so your character would be sickened all the time. If you wanted to just spring the stunning on the player out of no where though, that could be equally scary. Like a swimming eyeball heartache.
As for the Charisma loss, I myself didn't see it that way. In Korvosa, every student wizard has an imp on there shoulder. The improve familiar feat lets you have little men made out of mud and sticks. Children in Golarion can have creepy soulbound dolls under their arm. None of which make anyone loss Charisma. So why would an eyeball fish?
I just wanted to say thank you again. I would love to here what you have to say, good or bad. Either way it will help me understand this item better. Thank you.
|
RPG Superstar 2013
,
Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka Steven T. Helt
|
Erm. I can't think of anything about this item that I like. The judges clearly didn't seem to think it's superstar, but it advanced. It has huge mechanical questions left unanswered. It duplicates the effect of an iconic DnD item, only without limitations. It is a SIAC if you consider spells like prying eyes, arcane sight and others. It is a Swiss army knife in the sense that it gives a whopping +10 bonus to a skill check, approximates the spell effect, and essentially let's you borrow Uncanny Dodge. Finally, you'd have to be a pretty boring and irresponsible party to have this gross thing following you around everywhere. It strikes me as one of those items you only remind the DM that you have when you need to, and hope that you aren't kicked out of town or burned as a witch pretty much every session.
I like the weird stuff. I loved migrus locker and I'm a proud member of Blink Dog Nation. But this thing is my least favorite entry in both years.
Now, you're in. If your villain is good, you have a clean slate. Good luck and see you in a couple of days.
|
RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16
,
Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka JoelF847
|
I'm not a big fan of this item. I definately does too much for the price tag, and the mechanics are sloppy as mentioned. My biggest issue is that it's bascially permanent and can't be found as treasure without some sort of reformation mechanic after you kill someone who's used it. It seems more like a graft than anything else, which is a different category of magic item than a wondrous item. The description of it in it's potion form seems irrelevant because of this, since who's going to find it? I guess if you kill the crafter just after they finish it and before they can drink it, but otherwise, whoever makes it would just drink it down. In that sense, it's better than a slotless item, since it can't be stolen, removed if you're captured, etc.
I like the creepy -- obviously -- and the theme is solid. The execution is lacking, as covered above; others have said it better than I could. (I'm especially interested in the answer to Joel's point, above, regarding finding this in a treasure trove.)
Kudos to you for giving this idea a go -- it was a tremendous, gutsy risk that might not have paid off at all. And, since this coming villain round is all about flavor and ideas, I see things in this entry that make you a STRONG contender for my favorite villain.
Congrats on Top 32! Can't wait to see your villain!
It's not really creepy until the fish start falling in love with you. Floating fish watching you while you're sleeping or attacking your friends because you are paying too much attention to them is a bit more creepy.