Halflings, Gnomes, Kobolds even!
Is your party nick-name "Ankle-Biter". Always being cut-"Down to size" by your party members snide remarks. The party half-orc jokingly says that some tasks may be too "Tall an order" for you?!
Well enough is enough! I propose this space to list Tall-Jokes, or comebacks to short-jokes!
We will no longer be on the "Short" end of these jokes!
We Right-Heights should avoid the rhetoric of the Too-Talls.
You shorties should all get together for a convention or something. That would be soooo cute!
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Cloud heads.
Door hazards.
"Your 'family jewels' are at punching height."
Giant wannabes
"Mount".
Pack Mules.
Signs outside of halfling taverns that say "keep pets outside" with a picture of a silhouette where a halfling is holding a leash on a half orc.
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Getting this many jokes might be a bit of a tall order.
Humanoidlets: When will they learn?
Saethori,
Don't count this thread as Stunted before it's had time to grow. That's small minded thinking.
lemeres,
Pack Mules, haha you got a really loud real laugh out of me from that one.
Guys.
It's a thread for tall jokes.
You're making short jokes.
You are very confused.
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Humans are just Dire Halflings. Big, hard to train, and smelly.
I would of been upset if kobold cleaver didn't make an appearance on this thread.
The best thing to do is constantly sign the party up for mission in very small caves and constantly say watch your head after they've already bashed it into something. Make sure you over use the old classic " Hows the weather up there?"
I may have to pick up some of these for the Kobold Gunslinger I'm hoping to start playing soon.
Don't blame tallers for thinking they're always the center of the universe. They just can't see anyone else.
The only things tallers are good for is getting things off the top shelf and laughing at.
What's the difference between a taller and a broom? A broom is useful!
I tell my taller friends I'm the perfect height to headbutt them on the nose.
If I were three feet tall and everyone was twice as tall I'd say I'm the perfect height to headbutt them on the... Knee...
You really can't blame them for not thinking things through, though. They're so tall, it's a surprise their brain can even get enough blood.
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It's just over-engineered. Look how it has to eat so much more food to do the exact same amount of work!
And those buildings. All that wasted space. I could split every floor of this tavern into two floors, and fit twice as many people in here (and make twice as much money)!
Waste of food, waste of space, waste of cloth, wasted metal in their over-sized armor and weapons, it's just a crying shame.
Still, for a Halfling merchantman/ship captain, it's a wonderful life hiring an all-Halfling crew, and spending half to three-quarters on the essentials, undercutting those biggers at their own game.
Don't blame tallers for thinking they're always the center of the universe. They just can't see anyone else.
The only things tallers are good for is getting things off the top shelf and laughing at.
What's the difference between a taller and a broom? A broom is useful!
I blame it on the lack of oxygen. Having your air holes up so high. Poorly designed y'know. But I suppose that the gods needed a first draft before they discovered how to make perfection.
So what's the consensus on Dwarves? Are they too tall?
And should I be making fun of the slowpokes who can't run fast enough to keep up with the tall people?
Is it still okay to make fun of same heights if they're mean to me?
What about being friends with tall people? Is that still acceptable?
Yes, no, yes, and no... in no particular order.
So what's the consensus on Dwarves? Are they too tall?
And should I be making fun of the slowpokes who can't run fast enough to keep up with the tall people?
Is it still okay to make fun of same heights if they're mean to me?
What about being friends with tall people? Is that still acceptable?
Some of my best friends are cloud heads! For example, my pack mule.
It isn't the fault of cloud heads that they are of inferior intelligence. They just strain their hearts pumping blood so far up that they can't get blood to their brains.
...ok, I am starting to get uncomfortable with myself. I am borrowing too much from classical racist rhetoric. Darn you 19th century American literature classes!
In fleeing the goblin hordes in an early dungeon of mine, only the Hobbits ant the dwarf ran under a horizontal wall of force...
All of the short people I know are insane. I work with a flirtatious middle-aged Elf Druid midget woman that keeps several goblin layabouts who worship her in her house and rides on the back of a blind Gnoll. The Gnoll is an agreeable sort, though.