RPGSS Mad-Libs!: Season 9 Edition!

[Oceanshieldwolf]

Piece of equipment - Half-mattock

[Oceanshieldwolf]

Brigg wrote:

All right, guys. Here we go!

I need a:

Number - 7
Verb - Card-playing
Noun - Persimmon
Noun - Nozzle
Verb - Absorb
Number - 69
Piece of equipment - Half-mattock
Item Slot - Eyes
Number - Negative 8
Type of bonus - Circumstance
Anything represented by a numerical value on a character sheet - Race or BAB
Adverb - Stormily
Verb - Curbstomp
Number
Type of save
Skill
RPGSS Meme - Zombie Blood Runes
Type of non-magical Armor
Spell
Spell
Feat
Number

[Bahbrahb]

Meme: Zombie Blood Runes

[Oceanshieldwolf]

Anything represented by a numerical value on a character sheet: Race (e.g. 1/2 orc) or failing that, BAB

[BartonOliver]

Verb - absorb

[KingOfAnything]

number: 69

[GOUGE-OUT-MY-EYES-IF-NECESSARY]

Item slot: Eyes

[Oceanshieldwolf]

Type of bonus - Circumstance

[BartonOliver]

Adverb - stormily

[Oceanshieldwolf]

Verb - curbstomp

[DC 90 Stealth Check]

#=90

[Bahbrahb]

Type of non-magical Armor: Mithril Codpiece.

[BartonOliver]

Spell= doom

[Wolin]

Skill: Profession(Hobo)

[Zerri]

Feat: Coordinated Charge

[Vegeta, What's His Power Level?]

Last Number... IT'S OVER 9000!!!

[Trekkie90909]

Spell 2: Irresistible Dance

[Brigg]

We skipped the "Type of Save" <.<

[Wren Brown]

Brigg wrote:

We skipped the "Type of Save" <.<

Fort!

[Brigg]

Awesome. This turned out...welll....

Fred’s Favored Weapon, the ”Seven Card-Playing Persimmons”
Aura moderate fruityness; CL 7th
Slot none; Price IT’S OVER 18,000!!!! gp Weight 7 lb.
Description

Nozzles absorb all light within 69 feet of this masterwork half-mattock.

As a full-round action, the wielder of Fred’s Favored Weapon, the ”Seven Card-Playing Persimmons” can equip Fred’s Favored Weapon, the ”Seven Card-Playing Persimmons” in his eyes slot. When Fred’s Favored Weapon, the ”Seven Card-Playing Persimmons” is equipped in that slot, the wielder receives a negative 8 circumstance bonus to his BAB.

Once per day, the wielder of Fred’s Favored Weapon, the ”Seven Card-Playing Persimmons” can stormily curbstomp and adjacent enemy while Fred’s Favored Weapon, the ”Seven Card-Playing Persimmons” is equipped in his eyes slot. A DC 90 fort save negates this effect of Fred’s Favored Weapon, the ”Seven Card-Playing Persimmons” unless the wielder of Fred’s Favored Weapon, the ”Seven Card-Playing Persimmons” has at least 1 rank in Profession (hobo)

Fred’s Favored Weapon, the ”Seven Card-Playing Persimmons” was first created by Fred when his mithral codpiece was cursed with zombie blood runes.

Construction
Requirements Coordinated Charge, Craft Magic Arms and Armor, doom, irresistible dance; Cost IT’S OVER 9,000!!!! gp

[Trekkie90909]

That is pretty awesome. If it only included the phrase "...adventurers who know its true value..." it would be a perfect fit for the snark thread. Also I'm imagining this as a variant of a classic oilpainting.

[Wolin]

Decisions, decisions. Do I put a rank in Profession(hobo) so I can stormily curbstomp things with no save, or do I live with the DC 90 Fort Save?

I just realised that now hobos can be especially dangerous! Also Fred is a hobo with an unusually exotic taste in fruit.

[Wren Brown]

Wait, what's the name of the item again?

[Jarrett Sigler]

Oh oh! I got one!

I need:
Adverb
verb
Object Held in 1 hand.
color
metal
object
Past tense Verb
Future tense Verb
Energy type
number
kind of creature
number
Even Number
kind of damage
Kind of save
Skill check
Number
type of creature
Verb
Number
Proper Noun (Golarion specific)
Number
type of bonus
Skill check
Number
Unit of time
Feat
Spell
Spell
Number

[Brigg]

Adverb: Briskly!

[Isaac Volynskiy]

Verb: Seduce

[Rawler]

One hand item: tambourine.

[Brigg]

Color: Periwinkle

[Isaac Volynskiy]

Metal: Quicksilver

[Oceanshieldwolf]

Past tense verb: ninja'ed

[Darklord Morius]

metal: non toxic lead

[Darklord Morius]

energy type: sugar (because my metal was ninja'ed)

[Oceanshieldwolf]

Kind of creature: oxen

Or if you meant Type: Abberation

[KingOfAnything]

Future tense: will save

[Jarrett Sigler]

Oceanshieldwolf wrote:

Kind of creature: oxen

Or if you meant Type: Abberation

I'll take Oxen! It'll be better with Oxen!

[Oceanshieldwolf]

Number: 6

[Jarrett Sigler]

List so far:
Adverb— Briskly
verb—Seduce
Object Held in 1 hand —tambourine
color — Periwinkle
Aura — faint necromancy, strong transmutation
Number — 6
Slot — wrist
Number — not four
Number —
metal — Quicksilver
object — hairshirt
Past tense Verb — ninja'ed
Future tense Verb — will save
Energy type — sugar
number —
kind of creature — oxen
number —
Even Number — 4
kind of damage —
Kind of save —
Skill check —
Number —
type of creature —
Verb —
Number —
Proper Noun (Golarion specific) — House of 10,000 Cookies (what? It's a bakery in Absalom – trust me)
Number —
type of bonus — Male Enhancement
Skill check —
Number —
Unit of time — Season
Feat —
Spell —
Spell —
Number —

Edit: Included full list of Submissions so far for clarity. yes, I am not busy right now.

Sorry for the repost: But I DID forget some PRETTY key pieces to the item in my first post. Also: Item is turning out pretty funny already. At least immature giggle worthy at absurdity.

[Oceanshieldwolf]

Aura: faint necromancy, strong transmutation

[Darklord Morius]

number: not four

[Isaac Volynskiy]

Even Number: 4

[Oceanshieldwolf]

Slot: wrist

[Bahbrahb]

Type of Bonus: Male Enhancement

[Wren Brown]

Proper Noun (Golorian Specific) House of 10,000 Cookies (what? It's a bakery in Absalom – trust me)

[Oceanshieldwolf]

Object - hairshirt

[Darklord Morius]

Unit of Time: season

[Oceanshieldwolf]

Number - .5

[KingOfAnything]

kind of save: Will
number: 1,000

[Darklord Morius]

kind of damage: diabetes

[Oceanshieldwolf]

Skill check: Profession (repossessor)

[Darklord Morius]

Feat: Twist Away