Your Favorite Favorites

[Nicos]

For random stuff that you have favorite in the past for making you smile, laugh or you just agree with.

Toz:

TOZ wrote:

Sarrah wrote:

I built a L11 rogue not too long ago that could do 300+ DPR.

Words are wind.

Lincon hills on stuff we see everyday on the forum:

Lincoln Hills wrote:

We all know 'em. Here, I'll lead off with a few - but please, try to keep them good-natured. Plenty of other threads where the claws come out.

1. "Your argument has convinced me. I see now that the position I took during my first post was in error. Although I am of course reluctant to seem weak by allowing your argument to change my opinions, your superior grasp of the rules - to say nothing of your courtesy and your masterful skill at debate - have swayed me. Thank you for helping me understand!"

2. "Since all situations regarding paladins require a fairly complete knowledge of your GM, your group, the in-game situation and even how late in the session the incident occurred, it would be presumptuous of me to apply general truisms to your particular situation."

4. "I'm worried that my anti-paladin has done too many lawful and good things. Please analyze the following situation..."

5. "Is it morally wrong to loot the dead? Because we're now sixth level, and I can't help noticing that I'm still using my starting gear."

MIkaze giving an example I agree with:

Mikaze wrote:

NPC: Why should I help you, when your very presence has brought us only pain and loss? Tomorrow I bury my only children, slain because of this curse your greed has unleashed upon our village. All after we welcomed you among us. Tell me, why should I offer you anything more than prayers for your own deaths?

Alexandros Satorum wrote:

I use diplomacy on him.

GM and other players: >:(

Thornborn with a nice poem:

Thornborn wrote:

When one grapples succubi, go right for the pin

No, do not linger in the clinch, it's not a fight you'll win
Don't kiss the supple demoness, as from you your strength drains
And grinning, she will sup her fill, and discard what remains

So, when you grapple succubi, try coming from behind
And, quickly, now, control the head, of beauty most unkind
And keep those luscious lips well clear, of all your flesh, my son
They're simply just too perilous, for all they seem like fun

ROberta Yang -WHY THE ROGUE IS NOT UNDERPOWERED:

"Rogues are uniquely good at UMD because everyone else is so good at having actual class features that they don't even need to bother putting ranks in UMD" - an actual argument people are making in Rogues' favor

Doobledug - The ukraine thingy:

'You just don't in the 21st Century behave in 19th Century fashion by invading another country on completely trumped-up pretext,' Mr Kerry told the CBS program Face the Nation."

[Laughs until he passes out]

[Braingamer]

Ganymede425 on the implications of switching to Dexterity as the attribute for attack rolls:

Ganymede425 wrote:

Talynonyx wrote:

I suppose if you hate martial classes it wouldn't be bad. It would be the best thing for nerfing them into uselessness aside from outright saying they must have 14+ in all stats.

Ok cool, I'll add "It inspires unconstructive hyperbole" to the list above.

[TriOmegaZero]

bugleyman wrote:

Your opinion is wrong, and my opinion is right, because reasons.

FiddlersGreen wrote:

Hello, ladies.

Look at your pregen, now back to me, now back at your pregen, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using crossbows and switched to martial weapons which he has all proficiencies for, he could perform like he’s me.

Look down, back up, where are you? You’re at the end of a scenario, alive with the pregen your pregen could perform like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s a chronicle sheet with full gold and 2 fame awarded. Look again. The positive boons are all obtained!

Complete mission success is possible when your pregen is Hayato and not Harsk. I’m on a horse.

Tordek Rumnaheim wrote:

TOZ wrote:

I'll say. I didn't even rate a passing mention.

Wait a minute. Even NOT mentioning TOZ is enough to summon him to a thread?

Liz Courts wrote:

Triphoppenskip wrote:

But...but... without a specific rule telling me to not be a jerk I won't know not to be a jerk.

ಠ_ಠ

Skeld wrote:

I want a suit of armor crafted from TriOmegaZero's congealed sarcasm.

I would be un-effing-stoppable.

-Skeld

[Cranky Bastard]

Out of context theater at its finest!

Freehold DM wrote:

Sub. 4. LIFE

[Orthos]

carborundum wrote:

Don't listen to Turin, it's a slippery slope. First it's just a simple template but then it's three, four templates, class levels, cackling after midnight and RSS feeds on Turins story hour.

"The first hit's for free, kid," he'll say, "but you'll pay in blood for the rest" ;-)

[Lathiira]

Gargrim:

Spoiler:

Diplomacy am great ax.
Intimidate am great ax.
Disable device am adamantine great ax.
Ability to wield great ax am greatest skill of all.

Hogarth:

Spoiler:

I like to dip 17 levels of cleric so that I can cast Miracle.

Snorb:

Spoiler:

38) Your requisite female eye-candy NPC patron put up a poster on the Adventurer's Guild message board that reads (in full) "ADVENTURERS WANTED!! A party of Four* Courageous** Heroes of the Realm requested to fulfill one simple errand. Inquire at Iocasta Gardakan's*** manor house." and has those little serrated pull-tabs at the bottom with her address.

Your party were the first four people to show up. Nothing special, nothing destined, you're just the first heavily-armed ruffians to arrive.

*Or five. Or four + a bard; bards don't actually count as people.
**Courage optional.
***Not her real name.

Merisiel Silvari:

Spoiler:

Oooh OOOH!

I revise my favorite four letter word!

Kyra is my new favorite four letter word!

The other one goes to second place.

CrimsonVixen:

Spoiler:

Lathiira wrote:

Maybe I should check to see if I have a profane gift now, or if my race is succubus...

+2 to an ability of your choice, and I can telepathically communicate with you, among other things...

CrimsonVixen, the second:

Spoiler:

Lathiira wrote:

1d20 + 25 CMB --> 18 +25 =43 -4 (one free hand) =39 Standard succubus CMD is 22. So I guess it depends on her templates and class levels and circumstances, but I'd say success :)

Oh dear, I think I've been tied up. We both have the grappled condition, with you being the grappler, so I um. Level drain you.

I'm sure I've got more. I miss my succubus research partner :(

[Orthos]

therealthom wrote:

Ohh look. We all know this won't turn out well, but we run to the thread like lemmings.

~best BIll Murray voice~ There is something wrong with us! Very very wrong with us!

[Orthos]

Kajehase wrote:

The world is a lot less fun if you employ common sense and an empirical attitude to out-there claims.

[Jiggy]

Very nearly everything posted by AM BARBARIAN.

[Orthos]

Scintillae wrote:

Treppa wrote:

Scintillae wrote:

...The teaching job market is not friendly at present.

No job market is friendly at the moment. :(

Undoubtedly. I say we take the Defeat Means Friendship approach and punch it until it becomes friendly.

[Orthos]

Set wrote:

Awkwardly, the dwarven rune for 'soup' is very similar to the dwarven rune for 'soap,' and there are also 'Soupstones,' that when added to a gallon of boiling water, dissolve and turn it into rich beefy broth with bits of shredded cabbage, potato and carrot, that serves eight.

Try not to mix Soupstones and Soapstones up. Eating the wrong one leaves you belching bubbles, and bathing with the wrong one leaves you smelling like supper to wandering encounters...

[Orthos]

TOZ wrote:

You're Nikola G%$**$n Tesla, if you can't, no one can.

[Orthos]

Mad Jackson wrote:

Reincarnation and You!

Chapter One: Getting Used to Your New Body

First, let me say "welcome back!" You are one of the lucky few people to be reincarnated. You will find a host of new experiences await you in your new body. However, before you begin (or return) to your adventuring career, there are a few things you need to take care of.

You may feel uncomfortable in your new body. Don't worry, that's a natural response and will fade after a few days. During that time you should take it upon yourself to examine your new body. You may be surprised at what you find!

Let's begin with your organs. While most bodies available to the newly reincarnated share a basic similarity to each other, you may notice several of your internal organs are not where you expect other to be. In more extreme circumstances some organs may be missing altogether. Do not worry. Your new body will work fine without them.

Since you're reading this, we will assume your eyes, or their functional equivalents, are working fine. Next ...

(This just popped into my head when I read the thread title. I couldn't resist sharing.)

[Adahn_Cielo]

These two are probably two of the best post I've ever read on the Paizo forums.

PAIZO NERFED FLURRY OF CLAWS:

'Overheard at the Paizo office thread' wrote:

ross: Turns out making RPG books isn't just kittens and sunshine

...

sara marie: now i want to write Kitten RPG

...

gary: why you nerf kitten monk?!

ross: What's the DC to pounce on a Sunbeam?

gary: dear paizo: one of my players kitten paladin is a real jerk. plz fix

lissa: Monk kittens suck! Make them better!

lissa: SKR ruined my kitten.

ross: Why dont' Siamese kittens get any bonuses for having a second head?

ross: My GM banned Cheeseburgers. What gives?

crystal: want to play a dog. Why aren't there any player stats for dogs? Paizo doesn't know how to make an RPG!

ross: Dogs are overpowered. You need to play a puppy instead.

crystal: No, I want it for ROLEplaying reasons.

cs erik: what, chihuahuas suck, all their racial lets them do is tremble as a free action

gary: PAIZO NERFED FLURRY OF CLAWS

gary: "muzzle" is a stupid feat, why would you ever take that

cs erik: My GM had one of the BBEG put my character in a box and then told me to make a new character, HE WONT TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED TO MY CHARACTER! I don't know if hes dead or not!

Mikaze and the Distant Worlds AP:

'Mikaze' wrote:

Gorbacz wrote:

Prediction:

Iron Gods is a smash it.
A few years down the line, Distant Worlds AP is announced.
Mikaze faints, Drejk and I get drunk.

I would not faint.

...

I would stand out on the balcony of my open air bedroom, my hands resting upon the parapet as I gazed longingly at the infinite stars shining in the night sky and my hair flows in the cool breeze.

And behind me I hear the door open. Distant Worlds is there, its shirt unbuttoned. Its hair is flowing in the breeze too even though it's in the bedroom.

I run my hand through my hair. "I was worried you would never come." A tentative step forward.

Distant Worlds approaches with less hesitation. "You knew I couldn't stay away."

We are face to cover now. I shudder as it steps into the moonlight, the scent of packing styrofoam hanging thick about it. "I knew."

Distant Worlds places its hands on my shoulders and draws near, but then pauses. "But what about Wrath of the Righteous? And Mummy's Mask, and the others?"

"Shhhhh..." I place a finger upon its lips. "Allow us this one night. This one night under the stars."

Distant Worlds pulls me closer.

I whisper in its ear. "Take me to the stars. And tell me that you'll keep me safe from the terrible secret of space."

Distant Worlds begins to open its cover.

The stars shine in the night sky, but upon this earth upon that night, there was a supernova.

[Orthos]

I have 550+ pages of favorites. Sorting through them to find the best is time consuming. =)

[Tin Foil Yamakah]

This entire thread

[Triphoppenskip]

TriOmegaZero wrote:

Liz Courts wrote:

Triphoppenskip wrote:

But...but... without a specific rule telling me to not be a jerk I won't know not to be a jerk.

ಠ_ಠ

HA! That's one of my faves as well.

[Klaus van der Kroft]

TriOmegaZero wrote:

Liz Courts wrote:

Triphoppenskip wrote:

But...but... without a specific rule telling me to not be a jerk I won't know not to be a jerk.

ಠ_ಠ

Note how you can make Liz extra-annoyed if you pass the pointer over her face.

[Set]

I only have 11 pages of Favorites, but most of them are rules content, or stuff I very much agree with (or, occasionally, something I very much *disagree* with, and wanted to mark for bombardment once the Orbital Kitten Impeller is up and running...).

But here's one I like, from a thread about 'The Real Problem With Pathfinder;'

Gorbacz wrote:

The Real Problem With Pathfinder Is That I Don't Have Enough Money To Buy It All.

My Favorite Favorited By was when one of my posts was Favorited by Lisa, but it's been un-Favorited since then. :(

Some people (like the elusive Erik Mona, careful, don't startle him, it's rare to see one in the wild!) are stingy with the Favorites, probably to avoid any perception of Favorite-ism.

[Nicos]

I have a one for my favorite favorites. You win hte interwebz.

Klaus van der Kroft wrote:

TriOmegaZero wrote:

Liz Courts wrote:

Triphoppenskip wrote:

But...but... without a specific rule telling me to not be a jerk I won't know not to be a jerk.

ಠ_ಠ

Note how you can make Liz extra-annoyed if you pass the pointer over her face.

[TOZ]

My Glorious Campaign Overlord speaks.

John Compton wrote:

Andrei Buters wrote:

Is there any chance The Merchant's Wake might be a social scenario, ala Blakros Matrimony and Hellknight's Feast?

Does Kyle Baird have a reputation for killing PCs?

[Klaus van der Kroft]

Some of my favourite favourites:

Tiny Coffee Golem:

Tiny Coffee Golem wrote:

Saint Caleth wrote:

In Bhutanese art, a flaming penis is a sign of good luck.

In real life it's a sign of very very bad luck.

meatrace:

meatrace wrote:

My favorite misspelling is Monster Manuel. I want to meet THAT guy.

Tirq:

Tirq wrote:

Usually, I'm an adventurer. I traditionally plunder the loot, kill the bandits, and buy the fancy stuff with the spoils. Unfortunately, do to the recession, I'm the guy who does the banditry. Not my finest moments. I barely had enough to buy my Longsword, let alone armor. What about my family? I have to feed them as well!

Now, picture this, I'm sitting in a cavern, chilling with my buddies, counting some money that we recently "Obtained" from some rich "Donors" when suddenly this group of people show up. Now, it could be anyone, but nooooo it's a freak show! I mean, since when do Dwarves, Elves, Orcs, and Humans even get along?! I'm willing to bet at least half of them were "Hidden Nobility" or "Destined for Greatness" or even "Experts in their Field." How come nobody ever comes into our hideouts just to say "Hey, Tirq, how's it been?" It's always "Die you bandit scum!"

Monsters aren't the only ones with problems... *sniff*

[Scythia]

My very first favourite, and still top of my list. From Roberta Yang (who I definitely miss seeing around here).

Spoiler:

"Hey, Bob, it's those adventurers." 
"Yeah, I know, aren't they awful?" 
"Awful? They got rid of those bone devils that took over our town and destroyed our temple. Without them, we'd still-" 
"And who do you think has to sweep the remains of those bone devils off the street, eh!?"
"..." 
"Not those 'heroes', I tell you. No, they just leave a mess behind. Don't even think about us." 
"Well, I suppose, but-" 
"And that damage to the wall from when the devil tossed that knight into it! Who's going to pay for that?" 
"You're not seriously blaming the knight for that, are you?" 
"Look, all I know is that while devils were running our town, there was no damage to that wall. Then those adventurers had to make trouble." 
"Um, the devils destroyed our temple-" 
"Sure, the temple, but did they damage that wall? No, that's squarely on the heroes' shoulders. And they didn't even apologize." 
"..." 
"Oh gods, now he's selling a +3 Longsword!" 
"Wait, that's bad too?" 
"Of course! I'm a baker. How am I supposed to sell bread with that +3 Longsword around?" 
"What?" 
"The economy. It's ruined!" 
"..." 
"Well, maybe not bread, but suppose I were a smithy. What would that +3 Longsword do to my local business, eh?" 
"Probably very little, your local clientele can't afford a +3 Longsword anyho-" 
"Bloody adventurers ruining our economy by also participating in it. Who gave them the right to sell things?" 
"...are you sure you're feeling okay?" 
"Those devils closed the city gates, no more merchants could get in. I bet we'd have had a stable economy for years under their rule."

VOTE MINDFLAYER/BONEDEVIL 2016 "We promise to kill those pesky adventurers quickly so they don't cause property damage while ending our reign of terror."

Also hilarious, from Dr. Guns for hands.

Spoiler:

I'd say Woodland Stride is the scariest thing about Druids.
CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATOR AT CAMPSITE:"Well from the looks of the state of the camp, the mutilated bodies, the claw marks, the bite marks on the wagons, and the shape of the burst marks on the tents and trees, it seems like these campers were ripped apart and crushed to death by the biggest Allosaurus I've ever seen."
"But there are no tracks...."
"Oh god, why is it so quiet?!"
"IT COULD BE ANYWHERE! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

Edited for formatting. Phones are less than ideal for long quotes.

[TimD]

Sebastian wrote:

If the world operated as you proposed, I would sue the ever-loving hell out of those scrubbing bubbles, which have yet to manifest googly eyes and sweep through my bathtub, magically cleaning it without any effort on my part.

Much amusement from this (and I wasn't even following that thread, so I have no idea of most of the context).

[Orthos]

Sebastian wrote:

Maybe it's just me, but I don't put a lot of faith in a prediction by a culture that was mostly destroyed a few centuries ago. Seems to me that if your prophets were up to snuff, you'd have a big f%*@ing circle around, say, the year 1517, and a note in all capital letters saying "WHITE DUDES WILL COME FROM OVER THE SEA AND WIPE US THE F&%& OUT."

Somehow I did NOT have this favorited. This has since been rectified.