Grandpa Wonderbra dies of osteoporosis. I don't even have to lift a finger.
I put The Doomkitten in rocket skates and launch her over a cliff, a-la Wile E. Coyote. Unlike Wile E. The Doomkitten is not a cartoon character and does not survive the impact.
Ah, ah, ah...
I am a kitten. You wouldn't kill a kitty, would you? Looking into those adorable little eyes, and meowing sniffles... awwww, so cute!
*cuts Teddy's throat*
Done.
*takes out her trusty laser pointer*
*starts moving the little... tasty... red dot around, over the walls, the floor...*
*keeps teasing Doomkitten with it for hours, until the kitten collapses and dies of exhaustion*
As I die, I explode into concentrated cuteness energy, which overloads Sissyl's brain. Sissyl then goes catatonic, I walk out of a clone pod, and coup de grace Sissyl.
Dang cats. My poor sinuses. Oh, what's this - the kitty that scratched my throat is already dead. Oh well, guess I better grab a mop and clean up this mess.
* paints fake tunnel on wall. IHIYC is fooled and attempts to drive through tunnel - the clown does not survive the resulting impact *
Bees! BEES! BEEEEEES!
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Professor Farnsworth turns to GoatToucher: "Good news, GoatToucher!"
As you are not a member of the Planet Express team, you die horribly on the mission.
I persuade a mimic to impersonate IHIYC's closet, watching and laughing as he gets glued up and devoured when he steps into it.
I replace Pulg's mirror with a Mirror of Opposition. As Pulg is distracted battling his evil twin I proceed to nuke his house from orbit - twice, just to be sure.
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I'll have you stuffed with Pulg meat
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I stuff krevon inside of Pulg, who I then stuff inside a turkey, making a Turpulgrevon, which i serve to other forum dwellers.
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I toss it out the window because it is inedible. And toss out GoatToucher too while I am at it.
IHIYC finds himself teleported to the "ACG Summoner vs. Unchained Summoner: FIGHT!" thread.
Needless to say, he is charred to a crisp by the raging flamers, then torn apart by all the trolls.
:crashes a dirigible into Doomkitten:
Brand new pistol to the back of GoatToucher's head.
*Pulls trigger*
Headshot....i'll get some golin to take care of the mess.
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IHIYC was hiding in my closet but forgot that today was flood the closet with lava day.
I thought I heard a scream from the closet. Oh well....
I get the supergroup 'The Who' to swoop down from the moon and squirt tart lemon in Molten Dragon's face when he's driving up to a chasm full of radioactive quicksand.
A massively fat horn line deals
sonic damage to Pulg.
I have a clonepod, duh. Why do you think I put on that weird helmet for a few minutes before I jumped in!
Also, Concentrated Cuteness Cannon. This turns the Avatar of Zon-Kuthon into the Avatar of Dou-Bral, and Zon-Kuthon kills him to avoid messy paradoxes.
I put 'Doomkitten' on the 'Doomkeys', the keys in question being made out of damp copper and attached to an inadequately earthed ARP Jupiter synthesiser.
I'm magical. Physics don't apply.
I pull the plug on Pulg's project, sending him into despair. I then gloat and decapitate him.
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I transport Avatar to a magical land filled with rainbows and flowers and soft puppies and kitties!
All of which are carnivorous.
Especially the rainbows...
The goats are finally fed up with GoatToucher's bad, bad, touch, and trample him to death.
While DoomKitten poses for a "hang in there" poster, I saw the branch off and she plummets into the waiting open maw of an alocutious albino alligator.
Molten Dragon, after jimping a couple of clams, feels mighty pleased with himself and walks into a Backstreet Bar for a Beer, only to receive a Bardiche in the Bowels from a Brutish Baboon with Bad Breath.
I'll explain to Molten Dragon that Pulg called him stupid so the dragon eats him
Eating Pulg is like trying to swallow a hairball yet unfortunately for Krevon there was a bit of a "backblast" which sears Krevon's face off.
I let Molten Dragon have a look at the insane cosmic horrors i see so often. He suffers from mental stress and dies by heart failure and hyper ventilation.
*Crazy giggling*
Poog shank closet clown for kill blonde lady.
She to have been MY dinner.
Yum, mutant goblin - my favorite snack!
* bites "THE" Poog of Zarongel's head clean off and chews and swallows it before eating the rest of the goblin *
BUURRPPPP! Oh, excuse me.
:bursts out of Fred's abdomen, covered with fluids and a sash reading "Happy Birthday Colonel!":
Ta-Daaaaah!
:IHIYC removes mask, revealing himself as a mostly nude GT:
:GT removes the mask from the bisected GT, revealing the corpse to be a fully clothed IHIYC:
Ta-Daaaaah!
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Flies through the air with the greatest of ease, commanding a swarm full of poisonous bees
That he sics on GoatToucher - they fly past his knees
And sting him until he explodes.
Ta-Daaaah!!!
:finds IHIYC dead of a prescription drug overdose in his hotel room:
:shakes head: He went too soon.
I send GoatToucher an explosive goat.
...and it promptly explodes after touching him.
How about some hot magma breath laced with halitosis? Poor Iceyshadow was never the same.... In fact he is now deceased.