| 3 people marked this as a favorite. |
This year I am going to try really hard to critique every item in the critique thread, especially the ones that wind up way at the end since I know that last year some items got very little comment.
This is a separate thread since I don't want to wade through the clusterf$@+ that is the Critique thread any more than I absolutely need to. As a disclaimer I may have more to say about some items than others based on my notes I made while voting.
If you are reading this and your item is stuck way at the end of the critique thread and you have not gotten any comments on it, PM me and I will bump it to the front of the line as soon as I can so that no one has to wait days to get a single critique.
I read the first power here as effectively swapping what the mannequin and the user were wearing. If that is correct it is pretty cool and useful. A bit of a camping/makes adventuring easy item on the basis of being able to jump into your armor, but I think that it is quirky and interesting enough to get past that problem. The item overall gets bogged down when you add on the alarm power. Even though it is reasonably on theme, it exacerbates the perception that this is a camping item.
Verdict: You have a pretty cool idea here and meld it with a good theme. Keep it simple once you have those things. The alarm bit muddles the item and it would have been better with just the first power. Also you need to submit to the power of Template Fu and work on formatting.
First off this is Mythic, something I have no rules knowledge of, so I have no intuition about that part of the item. There are a few problems that I noticed. The first big thing is that the SR should not scale with the wearer’s HD. SKR has talked before about how items should not get better based on their wearer for reasons of pricing and balance. Secondly, line spells are out of place in the types of spells that can get reflected. The idea of reflecting a line spell, which can potentially hit multiple creatures causes a few rule ambiguities.
Verdict: Great visual and theme but the mechanics have holes. Also I can’t really judge the mythic portion of the item so that turned me off a bit. I voted for this a lot though.
I was weirdly ambivalent about this item. I like the theme, and it holds tightly to that theme, which is admirable; however I thought the visual of the dove sitting on your shoulder flipping out when you get violent is kind of dumb. The real star here is the final bit about breaking certain enchantments, but there are some problems with it. What kind of action is it? The word immediate appears, but I think the intent is that it does not take an action on the part of the user and that the user has no way of controlling this ability. The bigger problem is that it operates on creatures both friend and foe. I get why it works that way but you lost points in my book for not playing well with others. If a party member has one of these and it goes off, canceling my wizard’s well-placed dominate on the enemy heavy I would be pretty angry.
Veridct: Good theme but the potentially silly visuals and possible detrimental effects to the party lower it in my estimation. I still voted for it a few times though.
I was really torn on this one throughout the voting. On one hand it all comes together really well and does something kind of cool. Also bonus points for pulling off an alliterative name without it being silly. On the other hand a literally contagious charm person with an exceptionally vague duration is worth way, way more than 2,000 gp.
Verdict: Way to much adjudication and vagueness with the mechanics. I would never use this in a game I DM’d because it has the potential to cause a huge amount of headache. I really admire how it reaches outside the box in terms of ideas though.
A few huge problems here. First, dispel magic, wish and miracle is a frankly bizarre juxtaposition since why try to make it sound badass by name dropping 9th levels spells if someone can just dipel it like any other magical light effect. Why is the bit about the light being blocked by walls there? You wasted an entire sentence to basically tell me that the light from this item works like regular light. The last power might be a little powerful if you are referring to keywords and it auto-dispels all spells of those types.
Verdict: You might be onto a little something in the mojo department, but there are still serious mechanical concerns.
I really, really liked this almost every time it came up except for one little thing. “Spring Attack” casting for spells is pretty cool and I think worth the price for that alone. The second power is kind of cool but the concentration check bit is the only thing that marrs what is otherwise a really great entry. The power should be limited to times/day rather than balanced by a “blow up in your face” mechanic.
Verdict: Loved it.
Another strong keep from me. The idea and visuals are top notch. The only problem is a little bit of adjudicatory vagueness about the properties of the weapon. Another thing to look into might be a times/day mechanic to create a magic weapon since at the levels that someone might be using this, the sure of a magic weapon is all but necessary.
Veridct: Awesome. I honestly think that this is better than some of the things that made the Top 32.
This idea is pretty neat. Reaching into extradimensional spaces and stealing stuff. Great work on that. The bad opera joke falls flat and is rather bizarrely placed in this item’s description since how many operas are performed inside extradimensional spaces? I don’t know what the mechanical upshot of tearing a hole in an extradimensional space would be. I assume the intent is that the contents spill out while the hole is open. The bit about the different unarmed attacks is extraneous and mechanically weird since unarmed attacks don’t have an offhand and are not even necessarily strikes by your hand.
Verdict: In the end, another case of the mechanics muddling up a top-notch idea. I voted for it a bunch.
Marathon Voter Season 7
|
Abiding Light
A few huge problems here. First, dispel magic, wish and miracle is a frankly bizarre juxtaposition since why try to make it sound badass by name dropping 9th levels spells if someone can just dipel it like any other magical light effect. Why is the bit about the light being blocked by walls there? You wasted an entire sentence to basically tell me that the light from this item works like regular light. The last power might be a little powerful if you are referring to keywords and it auto-dispels all spells of those types.
Verdict: You might be onto a little something in the mojo department, but there are still serious mechanical concerns.
I either failed at my writing skill check, or something, as the point of the light was that it could not be dispelled or extinguished like a regular light and that the flame could always be seen. It does not function like a regular light at all. Normally a regular light, in darkness produces nothing. The candle always produces a point of reference and imparts its will save to those that can thus see it. I likely did make it too cheap, but it functions subtly different from a standard light, which was the part I thought was kinda cool. Its likely an effect I'll mess around with again. Hopefully next time to better affect.
EDIT: Thanks for taking the time to review. I do appreciate it and it tells me that my write-up should have been clearer.
I either failed at my writing skill check, or something, as the point of the light was that it could not be dispelled or extinguished like a regular light and that the flame could always be seen. It does not function like a regular light at all. Normally a regular light, in darkness produces nothing. The candle always produces a point of reference and imparts its will save to those that can thus see it.
I think that I do get the idea visually. I would have written something more like.
This light of the candle shines forth through all impediments. The candle itself is visible through darkness or fog of any kind although it does not provide illumination or vision beyond that which a daylight spell would provide.
That is far from perfect, but I think it is a cleaner way to get the idea across.
Battleforge Gauntlets
Another strong keep from me. The idea and visuals are top notch. The only problem is a little bit of adjudicatory vagueness about the properties of the weapon. Another thing to look into might be a times/day mechanic to create a magic weapon since at the levels that someone might be using this, the sure of a magic weapon is all but necessary.
Veridct: Awesome. I honestly think that this is better than some of the things that made the Top 32.
Thank you, I was worried about that adjudicatory bit :)
I also made an intentional cut to the original version that allowed a weapon to be drawn from a creature every turn AND it had pricing structure for +1 through +5.
Thank you again for the critique!
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Spellmason's Mallet
Really neat idea. I anticipate a little bit if weirdness with the definition given for a wall or barrier since things like ablative battier fulfil it and are obviously not intended to interact with this item. Also this 25,000 gp item can basically negate the 9th level spell prismatic wall all day long with seems much too powerful. Maybe a limit on the number of spell levels worth of wall that it can effect would be in order. Lastly there is no compelling reason to have it act as a weapon no matter how thematic it is. That just antagonizes the reviewer who sees that kind of thing in a Wondrous Item.
Verdict: I like things that reach for it and live up to the boldness. Strong Keep despite the fact that at the end it is surprisingly weapon-like.
Stanhope of Bloody Roots
I think I saw this item once, maybe twice in all my voting. I remember this because it took me quite a while to figure out what the hell a Stanhope is. My main problem with this item is that it solves what is really a non-problem. And in the kind of campaign where the family tree viewing becomes important, it is too much of a plot item.
Verdict: Kind of cool, but I didn’t find it incredibly compelling all told. Sorry I don’t have more to say about it.
Bullet-Catching Duster
When I see an item this highly specific in its applicability it has to be really good at the narrow thing it does to make up for that. In this case, the bonuses the item gives are far too specific. The armor ability only is applicable against advanced firearms which I have only seen in a campaign once and that was when I was the DM and allowed a few. The biggest problem is that this item thematically and mechanically is just a variation on the gunman’s duster almost exactly, and just adds a little bit.
Verdict: Derivative and way too narrow in application. Think bolder next time.
Lake Maker Spigot
This is basically a less versatile decanter of endless water for a third the price. If something can be done 1/day it really is not at will. Watch out for that.
Verdict: Way too derivative.
Cloak of a Thousand Daggers
This item is top notch. Strong visual imagery and interesting abilities. The more major (although not huge) problem is that I’m not quite sure what the compelling reason is to have the attacks work off of CHA, rather than just making a meele or ranged attack at the wearer’s highest attack bonus which is how most items which grant attacks work. The second problem is kind of minor and is that it might be undercosted for basically giving a free extra ranged attack nearly every round all day.
Verdict: Now that I know that the judges did not select this item I can kind of see why, but it is still one of my personal Top 32.
Taxonomist’s Codex
Tight writing, especially of the second ability. The technical execution of this item is great and I can think of one character I am currently playing who might actually use one of these. The unfortunate part is that this item has no zing to it. It’s a book that gives you a retroactive skill bonus and a party-wide buff.
Verdict: Anthony Adams is right on the money about this one. There is no cool to draw the reader in. This might be workable into a book worthy magic item but it’s not superstar.
Sanguine Gem
Your instinct about the first sentence is right. Not only that, but the “hemotheurge” bit turned me off; why do we need a more pretentious way of saying blood mage? This item is really, really powerful, granting both a caster level bump and potentially a whole bunch of free metamagic. It is also balanced recklessly since there are no safeguards to keep the user from killing themself. Rather than it’s intended use, I would be more likely to carry one around just to give to people that I have dominated to use in order to finish them off when they are no longer useful.
Verdict: Way too powerful and balanced by a much to dangerous mitigating factor. Also this is just begging to be abused by a smartass player.
Sibilant Sistrum
It’s an ankh shaped ancient musical instrument. Someone did their homework about the upcoming AP and I like that. Over all the times that I saw this item the increasing perform check mechanic really grew on me, even though generally items that scale with their wearer’s skill are not design best practice. I will remember this item as a great benchmark of how to design an item which is specific to a class but still useful to anyone. When employed by a character who can easily make the perform checks it might be a bit much CON damage, but I’m not sure it’s that much of a problem since the target gets a save every round with a bonus if they have already taken damage.
Verdict: Neat mechanic and great flavor. It is a little wonky and bends some guidelines of design but it is good enough to get away with that.
Bracer of Forceful Restraint
Very well executed and it does have strong imagery. It struck me as a little bit of a SIAC even with the twist of the Fort save and feedback to prevent teleportation. Also the monsters this would be used on most often have teleport at will and would just outlast the ability and willingness of the user to hold them in place.
Verdict: I admit that I am probably being a little unfair, but to me this really came off as a bit run-of-the mill. Sorry. It is great book or items fare though.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
The Critique thread is weirdly inconsistent this year, so if anyone has relatively few critiques and seems to have been passed over, PM and I will bump your critique up on my list. With the critique tracker it will make it possible for me to go out of order and not lose my place entirely.
Gloves of Face Filching
First off, you pulled of a potentially giggle-worthy name and made it work. That’s an achievement right there. You have a tight theme and the knockout mechanic makes this an item with plenty of utility to get creative with rather than just a debuff. The only mechanical worry that I have is that since the glove uses a Combat Maneuver it’s use is going to scale badly but that is a problem with CMB/CMD and you made the right design choice in this instance.
Verdict: I voted for this a lot. It was a strong keep, but I’m still not sure how close it is to superstar.
Bloody Sheath of the Bravo
I only remember seeing this a few times while voting, so I don’t have a terribly sharp impression of it. I liked the mechanics with a choice of debuff to start out combat, but the theme and flavor of this item is just weird. You didn’t so much fall into the “blood item” trap as just come out of left field with flinging a clot of blood in someone’s face. In the end the flavor really was jarring enough to detract from the item itself.
Verditct: The reverse problem of a lot of the other entries. You have some really well done crunch in search of a flavor which is not quite so much of a non-sequitor.
Grips of the Drowning Dark
I saw these a fair number of times and missed the crocodile flavor entirely on the first few reads somehow. Once I saw it, the combination of abilities made more sense. Even though the second part is a straight up SIAC it does manage to work. The one thing that detracted from this item is the last paragraph. I just really don’t like items that can blow up in your face based on actions which are not your own.
Verdict: Keep but not a terribly strong keep[/b]
Cloak of the Eternal Vagabond
As you noted in your critique this is a SIAC, and even less reliable than the already unreliable spell it is based on. Random effects are not fun most of the time as a player and have massive potential for campaign derailment as the DM.
Verdict: I can’t think that I would ever use one. Too unreliable for the 24K price point.
Shears of the Hairless Hag
This one was just weird. It does so much that it strays into SAK territory, but to your credit it stays remarkably tight in terms of theme for a SAK. I’m not sure how the scar hex ability is useful since you would usually be using it on yourself to take advantage of the grapple ability. Also is there a limit to the number of creature’s whose hair you can take advantage of having collected? If there is not there needs to be, since the scar hex has a hard limit of INT mod for a reason.
Verdict: Lots of mechanical holes and although the theme is pretty good it does not quite make up for those problems.
Dust of Fantastical Terrain
The image of this item’s use grabbed me immediately. A good start. But in the end I was left scratching my head as to what this item actually does. I can see some creative uses for this like making houseplants grow and blow out the walls of the room that they are in and stuff like that, but the mechanics are really vague and I would not use this as a DM for reasons of adjudication.
Verdict: Really great visuals, but come up with some actual mechanics to back it up.
Baldric of Revealing Mists
I liked this, but only kind of. While the abilities are reasonably well conceived the writing could sure some work and I am not sure why it is a baldric in the first place. I would have made it a cloak or gloves. I would buy this for the last ability alone, the one-way obscuring mist which is a great ability, if very confusingly written. I understand the intent, but you should just reference obscuring mist and then state the exception that the user can see through the fog rather than the convoluted wording that you have. Unless I am missing something the first and second abilities are redundant since if the mist cancels all concealment within 20ft then why do you need to specifically highlight a single square? I’m not sure what I am missing here.
Verdict: Pretty good. The writing of the mechanics still needs tightening up though.
Cloak of the Shadow Twin
Aaah, a shadow item; run for the hills! Seriously though, this was really good. The shadow mechanic is pretty tight and you clearly did you homework on other shadow related effects. The mention of teamwork feats also attests to mechanical detail. Well done. I have two main problems with this though and both of them are pretty small. First, the fact that the shadow’s weapons are non-magical is really going to hurt at the levels when this could be feasibly bought and used. I would have made the shadow have the exact same attacks as the wearer, but with some % effectiveness analogously to the shadow conjuration spells. The second thing is that the mention of unseen servant is out of place. You say it is like an unseen servant and then spend a paragraph talking about how it is fundamentally not the same.
Verdict: some voters were probably unfair to you and other shadow items, but this is a really, really good entry.
Tabard of Sanguine Symbiosis
This one was weird. I kind of get the idea of the item gorging itself on your blood and the mechanic that relies on taking damage is kind of cool, but blood-drinking fungus, really? I have a concern about the increasing amount of bleed damage as the item activates while you are taking damage from other sources as well. It seems risky and I probably wouldn’t use one of these.
Verdict: I still don’t really know what to think. The last part is vampiric touch in a can, but the flavor is so bizarrely different that it is probably fine.
Shears of the Hairless Hag
This one was just weird. It does so much that it strays into SAK territory, but to your credit it stays remarkably tight in terms of theme for a SAK. I’m not sure how the scar hex ability is useful since you would usually be using it on yourself to take advantage of the grapple ability. Also is there a limit to the number of creature’s whose hair you can take advantage of having collected? If there is not there needs to be, since the scar hex has a hard limit of INT mod for a reason.
Verdict: Lots of mechanical holes and although the theme is pretty good it does not quite make up for those problems.
Thanks for taking the time to review my item. I can't say I disagree with anything you've said, but I can provide a little insight as to what I was thinking.
- SAK? - Yep. However, if I'f I've learned anything in the past several RPG Superstar contests, the judges always seem to vote for what the community would call SAK (see Death Mask this year).
I always hope to overcome that with a creative idea and a little mojo--though I've yet to find the magic formula.
- Scar Hex - This is most useful for witches and other characters that can use hexes (magus?) through the connection. I've played witches, this ability is useful (cure wounds at distance, scry on villains you've let go, generally make life hell for a creature whose hair you possess.
- Scar Hex Limit - I always overwrite mechanics (or so my friends tell me) to cover as many questions as possible. In the draft I made it clear that the scar ability of the item had the same limit as the scar hex. Absent that text, I hoped a reasonable GM would see the limit in the scar hex text and limit it the same. Clearly, I just made it harder by omitting it, but I was already at 300 words. My item for next year will only have 150 words! :)
Aaah, a shadow item; run for the hills! Seriously though, this was really good. The shadow mechanic is pretty tight and you clearly did you homework on other shadow related effects. The mention of teamwork feats also attests to mechanical detail. Well done. I have two main problems with this though and both of them are pretty small. First, the fact that the shadow’s weapons are non-magical is really going to hurt at the levels when this could be feasibly bought and used. I would have made the shadow have the exact same attacks as the wearer, but with some % effectiveness analogously to the shadow conjuration spells. The second thing is that the mention of unseen servant is out of place. You say it is like an unseen servant and then spend a paragraph talking about how it is fundamentally not the same.
Verdict: some voters were probably unfair to you and other shadow items, but this is a really, really good entry.
Thanks, I appreciate the feedback! I do think the presence of a number of shadow items bothered a few of the judges - so it goes. I don't think there's any way to predict what will be common themes among the entries in a way that would prevent this.
Regarding your problems:
1. I considered having it deal the same type of damage; restricting it to nonmagical damage was simply a way to reign in the power level - if magic weapons work, why not all their other magical objects? I couldn't think of a good reason why your shadow would get a copy of your +1 sword but not your wand of fireball (or whatever).
2. I can see your point, but I find the 20% effects of shadow magic to be overly complicated in play. Calculating "20% of full normal damage" for each attack seemed like it would take too long, whereas "attack is just BAB, damage is just the weapon's dice" seemed simpler to use. That was my logic, anyway.
Oh, right, the unseen servant comparison. The point was that you instruct it like an unseen servant, but it can do more stuff than what that spell allows. I was trying to cut down on rules text there, but I can see how it didn't come across well.
Oh, right, the unseen servant comparison. The point was that you instruct it like an unseen servant, but it can do more stuff than what that spell allows. I was trying to cut down on rules text there, but I can see how it didn't come across well.
unseen servant does not really contain any specific rules text about commanding it, so what I was trying to say is that likening the shadow duplicate to unseen servant tells me nothing except that it can be commanded to do things. Better to just say that and tighten up the writing of the mechanics.
That is how I would rewrite the item.
unseen servant does not really contain any specific rules text about commanding it, so what I was trying to say is that likening the shadow duplicate to unseen servant tells me nothing except that it can be commanded to do things. Better to just say that and tighten up the writing of the mechanics.
That is how I would rewrite the item.
Ahhh, gotcha. Okay, thanks!
Soul’s Visage
I have no idea how the rules subsystem that this item deals with works. I assume it is from Ultimate Campaign and while integrating new rules is a generally good thing you risk losing anyone who is not familiar with those optional rules.
Verdict: You lost me by centering your item entirely around an optional subsystem that I have never heard of.
Thespian’s Globe
I really like the broadcasting of conditions. That ability has mojo and it is mechanically tight as well. What turned me off this item is the silly visuals of basically a magical jumbotron above your head.
Verdict: I voted for this more often than not. In a home game I might not use this item but I would steal your last ability to use.
Sandstone Sirocco
You got my attention with the description of this item and then it took a hard right in a completely unexpected direction. I was waiting for something really cool like a cyclone that can pick up your foes and strip the flesh from their bones like a sandstorm. Instead the cleaning and erasing power struck me as a bit trivial, especially if it is only 1/day for
Verdict: Great fluff writing, but next time pair that great description with equally good mechanical ideas.
Lucky Golden Tooth
The idea of turning a nat 1 into a nat 20 is great and in play will lead to lots of great moments. The save bonus turning to a save penalty when the item is used is a tight and thematic opportunity cost to balance the item. Honestly I think it could be a little cheaper, maybe 20-25K rather than 30K since it can only be used once and at the cost of a net -2 on saves for the rest of the day. This item is begging to be paired with the Fortune’s Favored trait though so maybe the cost is ok.
Verdict: By far the best of the tooth items. Very strong personal keep.
Choker of Spell Stifling
It’s a neck item for taking spellcaster prisoner. Just like in Wheel of Time, and Dragon Age, and you get my point. Also as an item designed solely for keeping prisoners it falls squarely into the realm of plot items, far more likely to get used on PCs than by them.
Verdict: Nope. It’s a derivative idea which falls afoul of other design guidelines as well.
Mask of the Wayang
I love the idea of wayangs and this item very well captures the flavor of a shadow-puppet person. You obviously did your homework about the inspiration behind the wayangs. it could use a little editing however. There is some inconsistency in the writing and the drawback, while appropriate, is very harsh.
Verdict: Good Job. Bonus points for working well with flavor that I really like, even if it is a shadow item.
Thunderstorm Mantle
I already remarked on this to you before, so I’ll just go with the highlights here. Great name. Your naming of items has really improved in the time I have been participating in RPGSS. The biggest problem is still overly complicated mechanics. You should have left out the third paragraph. The mythic part is fine I guess. I can’t really judge it.
Verdict: Honestly I didn’t like this quite as much as some of the other candidate items you did. It still represents a lot of improvement from Blazing 9 a few years ago though. It should have at least been Top 100.
Glaring Mask
I actually think the mechanic here is clever, stopping charges prematurely. I am not sure what “capable of paying attention” means. That sounds kind of strange in the context of rules text and opens up lots of potential problems with adjudication. The main power of the mask should not be at will for 5K.
Verditct: Pretty good, bust just failed to really grab my attention. Be grabbier next time.
Manipulator’s Headdress
I don’t remember seeing this during voting so I don’t have much to say. Your rewrite addresses most of the concerns that I see from a quick look.
Verdict: Sorry I don’t have more to say. I had no notes about this from voting.
Sun Wukong’s Puzzle Box
I like things that reach for it, even if they come up a little short I’ll still favor it over a proficient but tame item. Being replaced with a horde of monkeys is pretty great and this would be fun in all sorts of ways in play (maybe even about as much fun as a barrel of monkeys ;)). Get rid of the last paragraph I’m not sure exactly what it means, or why it is really thematically appropriate.
Verdict: Balls to the wall and mostly lives up to it. Personal top 32.
RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 8
,
Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8
aka WalterGM
|
Stuff about Sanguine Gem
Thanks for the honest feedback!
I've noticed a trend with people that have had thoughts about my item.
Did I make it clear that this item was single use? I honestly thought the cost of 3.5k for a one-shot item was fairly balanced, although I could have rightly been mistaken.
Aside from that, I agree that the abuse for a janky caster to use this item is very difficult to balance. I tried to remove any possibly of negating the negative levels, which can become permanent, as per energy drain. You have to roll for each of those negative levels on the next day--and if you're immune to negative levels, you can't use the item. So again, I thought it was decently balanced.
Anyway, if you could give me a little more detail, that'd be appreciated.
Thanks again!
RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16
,
Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9
aka Arkos
|
Sun Wukong's Puzzle Box
Thanks for the feedback! That last paragraph was an attempt to be more tricksy and puzzley, but I can see how it may have gone sour. Other than that, I'm glad to hear you liked it!
Nice work on all of these critiques as well!
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
I’m working a little slower than I expected today, but here is the first half of page 3.
Scepter of Fools
I had a really strong mental image of the last power, with the little head cackling manaically. Overall it is a plot item, which I can tell because it seems more likely to be used on the party than by them. I do think that trapping someone as the jester head on your scepter might be a bit much for the followers of Callistria though.
Verdict:Well-visualized plot item. I don’t know if I would go so far as you did in your self critique of likening it to an artifact though.
Boots, Tower
Its…stilts. I honestly wasn’t terribly excited about this item once I figured out what it did. It does it well but it is just rather dull. Also if there is a mechanic to attack the stilts you need to say the hardness/hp. I assume that as 2 inches of darkwood they have hardness 5 and 20 hp, but you shouldn’t make the reader look that up based on descriptions hidden away in the fluff.
Verdict: Not bad, just not interesting enough to be superstar.
Mapper
I know that a magic mini-map is a thing that lots of characters would want to use. I would buy one for pretty much any character I have played. But as a DM I would really not appreciate the extra work that this item could cause.
Verdict: Textbook “makes adventuring easy” item.
Soulvine Seed
This one took me a few reads to figure out exactly what was going on. I find the flavor of a seed that you lick to use to be overly weird but I really like the ultimate mechanic of barrowing a creature’s abilities once you have made a bond with them. The mechanics need a little tightening, like getting rid of that last bit about growing a new seed.
Verdict: Interesting mechanic, but wrapped up in far too vague mechanics. The part about planting the seed is superfluous and rife for abuse.
Kana'ti Fetish
The flavor and visuals here are top notch. The SIAC and skill bonus are far too run of the mill mechanics to combine with flavor this great. You waste a little bit of verbiage describing the attunement. You don’t need to say that the item can be taken off and on if you just say that the user must attune it. On a more technical note, capitalize feats and italicize spells in the requirements.
Verdict: Have better mechanics to accompany flavor this good.
Circlet of Substantial Foresight
“Substantial Foresight”? The name doesn’t really do it for me. While this item has a really cool idea at it’s heart, it is mechanically vague and creates a lot of work for the DM. That is the fundamental problem of prophesy and foretelling at a scale smaller than broad plot points. That is both creates a huge amount of work for the DM and that it has an enormous potential for derailment.
Verdict: Interesting idea, but it ultimately falls into being both a plot item and a headache.
Slaying Shroud
My main problem with this item was that it’s use creates a little solo-adventure for the user. When a PC either uses or is targeted by this item it leaves that player, or the rest of the party out of the action for three rounds, which can take quite a while to play out. While I really like the idea I would like the idea as a plot point or the solution to a mystery in-game.
Verdict: Pretty neat but still more of a plot item than anything that a character might actually want to acquire or use.
Lantern of Solace
It looks like you already got some very thorough critiques which cover a lot of the things that I have to say. Your mechanics are tight and I think that you skirt close to being a SAK but everything is so strongly on theme that it did not detract from the item for me.
Verdict: I think that this item displays excellent writing and promise, but it is a little bland.
Sinister Collar
The basic idea here might have some mojo. I like the idea of an insurance against being disarmed, and the bit about making an AoO is a nice detail. What I didn’t like was how convoluted the item managed to be. If I am reading it right, the actual bracelet does not do anything, the tentacles are all on the item. The writing needs a good edit as well to get you away from towing the line with the word count.
Verdict: Interesting idea but it is way too convoluted to really work in this form. It would have gone farther with different flavor wrapped around it maybe.
Breach Master’s Epaulets
I saw this item a lot during voting and it remained a strong keep the entire time. I love the tradeoff of reducing the damage reduction to use a charge of wall. The reabsorbing is misplaced, using a charge should not basically be a temporary thing and the charges should only increase when they regenerate over time. Visuals wise the fact that the medals are attached to the shoulder board is pretty weird. I don’t think that is where medals go.
Verdict: Strong Keep, near personal Top 32, but why is it epaulets?
Just a couple more before bed.
Scatterstone
I thought this was great. The core mechanic is tight and it would be fun and useful in play. I also have a weakness for things which play with action economy. It is really easy to go gonzo inadvertently with action economy and I think that this item works out pretty well. The only thing that I am really concerned about with the mechanic is the free 5-foot step. Getting the step out of turn is good enough. I am of two minds about the pricing. On one had I really don’t like expensive consumables but on the other hand it is really cheap for something that benefits the entire party so massively. At even mid levels any smart party would have one of these for every major combat and that is a bit too much.
Verdict: I liked it, but based on the price it scales badly into high levels.
Orb of Supplicants' Shadows
I saw this several times in the voting and I still have no idea what it really does. Why would you want your cohort and followers sucked into an orb when it counts as cruel treatment? Maybe if they are staffing you stronghold and you need copies of them in combat suddenly but I still don’t really get it. The writing needs a good edit too, I have read it multiple times and I am still kind of confused about what exactly happens when and to whom.
Verditct: I don’t get it. Also I have only ever seen Leadership in play once in years of playing.
Talisman of the Puissant Familiar
This has mojo. I have a few mechanical concerns though. Since one’s familiar doesn’t really do much generally the idea that it can just indefinitely maintain spells is a bit much. There needs to be a limited duration on the power once it is activated. Ditch the part about consuming the spell. It is kind of confusing and adds absolutely nothing to the item.
Verdict: Keep it simple. The first part of this as an item would have been creative and elegant.
MapperIm not sure how this makes adventuring easy. Its very limited in scope and it doesn't do much not already done by some other means, except that it combines the detects into it, and has a cool presentation.
Or do people generally not map out where they have been? Is that rare for players to do?
The big problem is that items which draw maps for the party are the canonical example of an item which makes adventuring easy.
Also players will decide whether to map or not map regardless of whether they have this kind of mini-map item. That was my problem with the idea.
MapperIm not sure how this makes adventuring easy. Its very limited in scope and it doesn't do much not already done by some other means, except that it combines the detects into it, and has a cool presentation.
Or do people generally not map out where they have been? Is that rare for players to do?
The big problem is that items which draw maps for the party are the canonical example of an item which makes adventuring easy.
Also players will decide whether to map or not map regardless of whether they have this kind of mini-map item. That was my problem with the idea.
There's always that jack wagon player that if given this item would make their GM map EVERYTHING...
Thanks for the feedback. Question: understanding you don't dig the item, but if you were forced to use it and assign a price to it, how would you have priced it? I calculated out the price based on the rules and then made it @1/3 the price for its randomness. (Alternately, it's about the same cost as a teleport item without the endure elements effect; taking note that while it has a drawback (in some eyes) of randomness, it does not have the other drawbacks of the teleport spell (you can't accidentally shunt yourself into another creature). It's also about half the price of boots of teleportation.) Just curious, as I'm always trying to refine my methods for determining price. Thanks.
DQ, I think you are right about a lot of what you say about the complete randomness being a mitigating fact for price. I see this item as mostly fulfilling a niche of "GTFO" in situations where you need to be anywhere except where you are. And I think that 24K is too expensive for that, randomly, 1/day.
Therefore I am not looking at teleportation items such as the helm of teleportation or boots of teleporatation for the price since those items are high level transport options more than they are escape options. Instead I am considering escape items such as boots of escape or the unfettered shirt, even though these items do not involve long range teleportation. The other analogous item is the getaway boots for 30K since they too are long range, but they are reliable so this coat is going to be much cheaper.
The other consideration is that teleport is a 5th level spell and is literally a game changer so there should not really be any easy access to it at all before 9th level when the party would be able to cast it for themselves. The WBL for a 9th level character is 46K. 1/3 of WBL is a good benchmark for earliest affordability and in this case would be ~15,300 gp. Because this is a potentially very long range transport item and there is another spell effect along for the ride, I would raise that minimum to maybe 18,000-19,000gp.
That would be my thinking about pricing this item, but take it with a grain of salt since I have had problems with pricing before(including this year).
I had hoped to be through page 5 by the end of the weekend, but things are going a little slower than anticipated. I will try to at least get through page 4 though.
Jar of Imprisoned Echoes
There is a good idea underpinning this item, but then you present it as a wall of text. The mechanics here need a hard edit. I suggest you look for existing mechanics to reference and pilfer. The spellblight is a good start in that regard.
Cloak of Synthetic Infinity
It’s outer space in a cloak. Neat! You are correct about the last power. The item would have just as much flavor and accomplish that flavor more elegantly with just the two powers. I am not sure about the name. Infinity makes sense, but I am not sure why synthetic belongs in there.
Verdict: Middle of the road keep. Pare the mechanics down to something more elegant and it would approach superstar.
Guillotine Torc
So your head pops off and flies around the room. Interesting. You mentioned problems with word count and I think that you did a bit of reinventing the wheel here. You could save word count by just using the existing fly rules to govern the head’s motion. The bits about AC and the origin point of spells are a little bit wonky wrt what is actually physically happening (how does the armor on your body protect your separate head? Don’t most spells shoot out of your hands?) but the ability to choose one of two origin squares for your magic is cool enough that I’ll give that a pass.
Verdict: Weird and creative. Try to work with existing mechanics whenever possible. I think the best part of this item is imagining just grabbing someone’s flying head and running away with it. LOLOLOL, got your head!
The Jester’s Drinking Buddy
So on one hand I freaking loved this. Drunk puppets are hilarious. The power of absorbing conditions is way too good. It basically makes you immune to everything for a period of time until the puppet dies, at which point you can just get another one. Some sort of limit is in order. Either a limit on what kinds of things can be transferred or a times/day limit or a limit on how many conditions the puppet can be subject too at once.
Verditct: You went kind of gonzo with the mechanics and you need limits and drawbacks.
Water Rat Pouch
You started losing me when you described this item as half of a rat. I am still torn on whether the ability is too good for the price, it should probably be a little more expensive.
Verdict: Unappealing flavor is what killed you here in the end.
Resonant Tines
This is very undercosted if it is really at will. The once in 24 hours clause shows that you did your homework about how at will abilities tend to be designed in PF, also I approve of pilfering appropriate mechanics from elsewhere. However, the save DC is way too high, especially if it is to avoid being staggered. Staggered is like nauseated in that it chops the victim’s turn in half and you should be very careful when applying it. A DC 20 Fort save on a 9,00 gp item which is based on a 2nd level spell is way too much.
Verdict: Tighten up your mechanics and watch the power level, but this idea could go places.
Band of the Undying Bond
The idea of delivering any spell, not just a touch spell through a familiar is a good mechanical kernel and it is executed reasonably well here. My main problem that I saw has to do with the construction requirements, specifically the requirement for a dead familiar, presumably to provide the physical raw materials of a skull. Any potential story based prerequisites for making an item are the purview of a DM to create a side quest rather than of the magic item crafting rules. Take out that story-based requirement and tone down the explicit flavor of dead familiars.
Verdict: The extraneous things in the crafting requirements turned me off. Otherwise I liked it and voted for it quite a bit.
Cloak of Synthetic Infinity
It’s outer space in a cloak. Neat! You are correct about the last power. The item would have just as much flavor and accomplish that flavor more elegantly with just the two powers. I am not sure about the name. Infinity makes sense, but I am not sure why synthetic belongs in there.
Verdict: Middle of the road keep. Pare the mechanics down to something more elegant and it would approach superstar.
Thanks! :) Yeah, I wonder how things would have turned out if I had trimmed the last power. Probably not top 32 still, but who knows? It was still a lot of fun to make and I learned a lot. The synthetic thing is because it is a demiplane that mimics the properties of real outer space. I was working off the following definition:
"Synthetic: devised, arranged, or fabricated for special situations to imitate or replace usual realities"
Thanks again for the review!
Chillforge Stein
This is really cool because it is an item which absolutely exists in a world with magic. That said it’s a plot item, more likely to be used by an NPC than by the party. I could see the party having to steal one in order to drink from it and access some plot-vital document.
Verdict: Take the great writing that I see here and apply it to an item more likely to be carried and used by a PC.
Stormtide Jar
6d6 force damage with Fort DC 25 is too much, especially when combined with something which can push a huge creature up to 40ft. The biggest problem is that there is no save or combat maneuver involved to give a chance to avoid the movement and multiple dice of damage. Scale everything down. Bludgeoning damage instead of force damage. Make the pushing be a combat maneuver. Then you might be able to lower the price to something that someone might use as a consumable.
Verdict: Great visceral imagery of a magical tsunami, but you went way gonzo with the effect.
Coeurl Domino
Lots and lots of problems here. IIRC coeurls are the off-brand displacer beasts from Legacy of Fire which explains a bit of the imagery right there. The power of raged disable device is fine. The major, major problem that I saw right off the bat is that an 8,000gp item is giving Blindsight 60. Blindsight is a strictly high level ability. Off the top of my head I think the earliest a character can get it permanently is 15th level as a blind oracle or a dragon disciple. You also need to tighten up the writing of the drawbacks. The last sentence adds nothing to the item and only wastes word count. Why is summon monster I in the prerequisites?
Verdict: Interesting core ability ruined by major mechanical missteps and a flavor that probably went over most people’s heads.
Cloak of Adamantine Chains
I only saw this once while voting and I really wanted it to come round again so that I could save it I liked it so much. The defensive power is good, and promotes potential tactical choices by making total defense a reasonable option. The offensive power is an interesting reskin of chain lightning and I like it.
Verdict: I loved it based on flavor and imagery that hold everything together here. I suspect that the extremely high price turned many voters off.
Tatiana’s Turtle Tureen
The proper name in the title set off alarms right away for me. Remember the advice that if your character was not in one of Gary Gygax’s campaigns you cannot name stuff after them. Also I found the alliteration silly. So unfortunately that is two marks against right off the bat. Making mundane food is a pretty trivial power and the paragraph about the imprinting process adds nothing to whatever is here.
Verdict: Strays into joke territory. Sorry to be harsh.
Sewing Form of the Steel Seamstress
The idea behind this is great, a way to wear armor without wearing armor. Probably has a measure of mojo. The mechanics underpinning it are pretty good, maybe too good given that it completely and uniformly can bypass arcane spell failure chance, not to mention removing the chance of being caught unarmored with you metaphorical pants down. Players are going to try to contrive all sorts of silly ways to haul this thing around to benefit from it. Also there are a few mechanical holes. For example, does this cancel out a monk’s abilities? Logically it does not but you state that the armor slot is used, which might trigger that clause. On a more pedantic note, make sure to italicize your spell names.
Verdict: Great idea and you executed it admirably but this item removes important balance points and is just begging to be abused somehow. Still should have been Top 100 though.
Fury Powder
This item is elegant and tight. Great work. My only quibble is that it boils down to a spell in a can. Alos I might be reluctant to use this very much as a 1,400gp consumable.
Verdict: I liked the simplicity of this item and the skill with which it was executed, even if it is confusion in a can.
Astral Spike
There is way too much going on here some of it tipping into gonzo. 3/day teleport blocking as an immediate action might be too much on it’s own for 20K but absolutely goes off the rails with the recurring teleport mishaps. The banishment effect is a whole other item on it’s own and its addition makes this a SAK.
Verdict: You have some good ideas, just don’t bloat your item with all of them at once.
Icicle of the Frozen Waste
The first ability is the heart of this item. It is interesting and creative. This item should have ended after that first paragraph. The second power is largely unrelated to the first except that it involves ice. That is textbook SAK and each ability could easily stand alone as an item. The part about the Crown of the World and calling out the physical materials in the crafting requirements is gratuitous. Get rid of it.
Verdict: Learn when to let something cool stand on its own. Keep it simple and on theme mechanically as well as flavor wise.
Venicaan Lantern
That stupid pun in the middle of this item really ruined it for me and made me unable to see it as anything but a joke item. The actual item is a SIAC, but not a badly done one. Don’t make it a joke though.
Verdict: Very punny. I remain unimpressed.
Witchbane Glove
While this item does hew close to a theme and the abilities make sense and work together any item designed to screw a specific class is not going to get terribly far. When I saw this I figured that the designer was a DM burned one too many times by a witch with their sleep hex. I know that is probably not literally true but that is the vibe I got. I like the last power of punching the enchantment out of people best.
Verdict: Not bad just too niche to have a huge amount of appeal.
Tactician’s Go-Ke
I really wanted to like this because I am a sucker for things with Eastern flavor but I’ll be honest and say that I was not one of the people who liked this. It is way too literal in the theme of Go. Additionally it lampshades the out-of-game existence of a grid way too much for my tastes.
Verdict: I really wanted to like this, but there were just too many things about it that rubbed me the wrong way.
The Jester’s Drinking Buddy
So on one hand I freaking loved this. Drunk puppets are hilarious. The power of absorbing conditions is way too good. It basically makes you immune to everything for a period of time until the puppet dies, at which point you can just get another one. Some sort of limit is in order. Either a limit on what kinds of things can be transferred or a times/day limit or a limit on how many conditions the puppet can be subject too at once.
Verditct: You went kind of gonzo with the mechanics and you need limits and drawbacks.
Thanks for the feedback Caleth! I knew going into this that the overall effect was probably too much. I tried to counter it with price, because not many people would stockpile something that cost 55k gp, but I can see now that is kind of a cop out solution. Every time I tried to limit it I felt like I ruined the item, so I was hoping the fun visual/application would carry me. I've also noticed that people either loved it or hated it. They loved it for all the reasons you pointed out, and hated it for all the drawbacks you pointed out. Whether or not the love outweighed the hate seems to be personal preference...
Thanks again for taking your time to do this, you and all the others who put so much into these reviews. I greatly appreciate it!
You can do it!
Just a couple more before bed.
Orb of Supplicants' Shadows
I saw this several times in the voting and I still have no idea what it really does. Why would you want your cohort and followers sucked into an orb when it counts as cruel treatment? Maybe if they are staffing you stronghold and you need copies of them in combat suddenly but I still don’t really get it. The writing needs a good edit too, I have read it multiple times and I am still kind of confused about what exactly happens when and to whom.
Verditct: I don’t get it. Also I have only ever seen Leadership in play once in years of playing.
Thank you for the feedback. I've heard from a couple people that the item is confusing--or at least I didn't make its purpose or use clear enough. Unfortunately, it's also pretty close to the word count so I couldn't spare many words, which really means it might have just been too complicated an idea for a 300 word wondrous item.
Dragon Skin Cloak
Taking and returning energy attacks is a perennially popular idea and this item does give a slightly new take on it. There are a few mechanical holes that I see right away. I assume that the intent when this was written was to catch fire, electricity, cold and acid. However, energy damage also includes things like sonic, force, positive energy and negative energy. What happens if I use the cloak to catch a blood crow strike which is half fire and half negative? What vulnerabilities are associated with electricity, sonic, force and acid? Can I catch inflict and cure spells since they are positive and negative energy? What is the DC of the save come to think of it? The catching mechanic needs to be tightened just a little to address things like this. The first two ways to return energy are pretty tight and work well but returning the spell wholesale, even if to a single square should go. It would take far more space than the word count to tighten it up acceptably.
Verdict: You managed to make a creative interpretation of a well-trodden idea. The mechanics become a little vague though.
Vinculum Vests
I like the name. It was one of few alliterative names which pulled it off, probably because it is short and has a good meter to it. You start out with a bit of purple prose in the rather long description. Tone it down in that first paragraph. You would be fine with just the first power. The second is not terribly interesting and really does nothing for the theme of the item.
Verdict: I like the first power. A good less is more edit would bring this up to at least Book of Items quality.
Imp Stone
There is way too much going on here. It is a SAK and although I can kind of see the link between the powers, it is not really enough of a link to tie them into one item, especially the polymorph ability.
The imp binding and the whetstone abilities could each be the core of a separate item which was less of a SAK.
Verdict: This falls into the same trap that I have seen a lot this year. Don’t toss all your cool ideas into one item. It is ok to have a single ability. Also you need a good copy editor to look at format. Template Fu shall feast upon you.
Treestrider’s Satchel
I was continually kind of ambivalent about this so I don’t have a great deal to say. It is an interesting reskin of existing storage options with some potentially cool but potentially headache inducing ramifications. It just never really did it for me, although that is admittedly a YMMV kind of thing.
Verdict: Kind of cool and an interesting variation on existing storage options. Ultimately just failed to capture my interest.
Jingasa of Steadfast Defence
I see how this was inspired by ashigaru. It is interesting making something for stopping charges with massed gunfire. Very cinematic. But this is doubly niche, being an item for gunslingers to basically fight field battles with. Mechanically I don’t really see how readying to fire braced is better than just full attacking for most gunslinger builds which can put quite a hail of lead into the air.
Verdict: Way too niche. Not only is it a gunslinger item, it is a situationally useful gunslinger item and that just keeps it from having wide appeal to be superstar.
Ashen Ka Shabti
This item is a master class in how a great item can break the guidelines of design and get away with it. Yes, it is a 24K gp consumable. Yes, it is a MIAC (or in a small Egyptian statuette as the case may be). What saves it is that everything from the name (I appreciate that you obviously know what all he words you used mean) to the visuals of its use to the final, constant ability come together with the core mechanic into a tightly themed package. Also the fact that the monster is modified to fit the theme is a great grace note.
Verdict: Easily in my 5 favorites while voting, if not my absolute favorite. You got robbed and this should have been Top 32.
Reanimating Battle Bones
This is weird and innovative and I appreciate that. This also is one of the very few items where Golarion flavor actually enhances it. Unfortunately it has serious mechanical problems regarding early availability of resurrection as well as the workings of the item itself. Resurrection is one of those abilities which should not be available before 9th level when it can be cast, the only exception being reincarnation which is a legacy holdover from pre-d20 editions. 9,000gp is too cheap, even as a consumable to be an automatic insurance against death which is useable even by non-divine spellcasters.
Verdict: Very cool idea but I don’t know if it is mechanically workable within PF.
Fire Sculptor’s Gloves
This item has a great theme and sticks to it. The problem is that it doesn’t actually let you sculpt flames. The direct attack power is misplaced here. If you are especially attached to it, it should probably work more like produce flame The summoning is great and fits the sculpting in the name, but this should be able to actually grab flame and manipulate it or put it out.
Verdict: A little disappointing based on mechanics, but it is still a strong keep based on imagery and theme
Medallion of the Nine Spheres
This is kind of cool but way, way too expensive. To use it at all, it needs another item which rubs me the wrong way. To use the final power costs an additional 285,000gp. That is way too much for some bonuses, which while pretty substantial, are not worth all that gold. The last bit about ioun stones absolutely needs to go. There is no link between pearls of power and ioun stones to warrant it thematically and items that blow up in your face are rare and are almost exclusively legacies from previous editions.
Verdict: While the idea of 9 pearls of power logically follows, it does not mechanically. This is way overcosted as well as abuseable.
Thespian’s Globe
I really like the broadcasting of conditions. That ability has mojo and it is mechanically tight as well. What turned me off this item is the silly visuals of basically a magical jumbotron above your head.
Verdict: I voted for this more often than not. In a home game I might not use this item but I would steal your last ability to use.
Thanks for the feedback. The condition broadcast was the original core of the idea, and at one point the item was a plain tabard that could be worn under stage costumes. But I changed that in the last hour to something that felt like it had more *zing*. Too much zing, I suppose. I winced when someone in the voting thread referred to a "Wizard of Oz" item.
Coil of Ionic Inversion
There are a few things there I want to point out. First this skirts the line between wondrous item and weapon. I think you barely land on the right side of that line but as a slotless item whose abilities all modify weapon attacks you are on dangerous ground. Secondly, the flavor is in wrong paradigm. This is a fantasy game and you are talking about synapses and ions. This causes some problems in tone as well as confusing the mechanics since ionic energy or ionic damage are not things which exist in the game. Within the rules of the game what you are describing is electricity which you seem to recognize in the last sentence.
Verdict: Not a keeper. You have some potentially interesting ideas but you are thinking in the wrong paradigm flavor-wise.
Cilice of Shared Suffering
I liked this more than I suspect that some people did. My years of playing an SS/BR necro in Guild Wars have given be a love of damage returning mechanics, so you had my full interest from the name (which is great). But the flavor of self-harm probably turned a lot of people off. Looking at your self-criticisms I think that a few of them are not necessarily as problematic as you think. Even though it does damage, it is not in any danger of tipping over into being a weapon. Also the changed save is not a problem. Imitating but subverting spell effects is completely fine for an item.
Verdict: I like the core mechanic. Maybe a Golarion specific link to Zon-Kuthon could have saved you on the flavor side.
Skeleton Orb
This item is perfectly good in concept but there are a few huge problems. First it is an 800gp item which lets you control a potentially large amount of HD of undead. The limits on how many HD of undead you can control exist for a reason and are pretty hard to circumvent for a reason. 800gp is way too cheap to not count the HD of the controlled undead against your limit. The second power is neat but given the potential for abuse of the first power can easily spiral out of control given how easy it would be to detonate a bunch of high HD skeletons simultaneously and cause literally thousands of damage for a few thousand gold.
Verdict: Lots of holes and missteps in the mechanics which make this item highly abuseable.
Mantle of Butterflies
I think that just about all of your self-critiques are on to something. One thing to add is that there is not really a compelling reason that the activation does not provoke an AoO. Using an item generally does and I don’t really see anything about this item which compellingly makes me think it should not.
Verdict: Top notch flavor. I voted for this a lot.
Fierani Fletching Hoop
This is the kind of item which is exactly what it says on the can. It makes and enhances arrows. Simple and cohesive. But in this case it is a bit too simple. The first power is kind of trivial and the second is not innovative enough to be superstar. I would buy one of these for my archer, except that he is an inquisitor and a way to generate bane is kind of redundant for him.
Verdict: Book of items worthy, but not really superstar.
Spellsnaring Canvas
This was kind of funny for me to see since my entry also had “spellsnaring” in the name. I was torn on this since it is great visually and flavor-wise. I just would be ever so hesitant about giving players a way to learn spells just from getting hit with them if I were the DM. The mechanic itself is innovative and well executed though.
Verdict: I was 50/50 on whether this would be Top 32. Congrats, you made a way better “spellsnaring” item than I did.
Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7
|
Saint Caleth
Fierani Fletching Hoop
This is the kind of item which is exactly what it says on the can. It makes and enhances arrows. Simple and cohesive. But in this case it is a bit too simple. The first power is kind of trivial and the second is not innovative enough to be superstar. I would buy one of these for my archer, except that he is an inquisitor and a way to generate bane is kind of redundant for him.
Verdict: Book of items worthy, but not really superstar.
your critique is much appreciated. If I have learned one thing simple items may be cool in their own way, but cool isn't always great.
I have a half dozen ideas already in development and I am bringing some face slapping content next year. I will get your attention.
Icicle of the Frozen Waste
Thanks for the insightful reveiew. In fact, when I was crafting it, the second ability was the first idea, which I didn't feel was strong enough to stand on its own. That should have been my clue to drop it entirely rather than pair it with a second (better) feature.
Gauntlet of Earth Shattering and Elevating
You are right that there are a few wonky things about the execution here. Why does each power have a separate pool of five charges? I think that if you are giving the item charges/day both abikties should draw from the same pool to at least make on opportunity cost of using the item. The other weird thing is that the glove makes the trip attempt in a way which scales with the wearer. You would be better off saying that the wearer makes the trip attempt with an appropriate bonus. This would be ok because trip especially scales really badly into mid and high levels. You could reimagine the description to save word count. I am not averse to steampunky items but I am having trouble visualizing this glove.
Verdict: Good except for a few mechanical things. The name is badly literal though, and long.
Gloves of Mercurial Synthesis
This is an excellent example of an item which is short and elegant but also innovative enough to avoid being a bore. The only thing that I would recommend is to have the gloves always work against material based DR like silver, cold iron and adamantine, maybe also magic but only adapt to Dr/alignment a certain number of times per day.
Verdict: Strong keeper. Probably book of items worthy in this state, but a few tweaks could still make it better.
Bauble of the Weeping Fey
“Floating in it’s own tears”? Really? The core idea here, of being able to tell who can perceive you is a little bit video-gamey but I’d be willing to give it some leeway. What kills you here is the flavor. You could easily change it to a flavor which does not involve dismembering a leprechaun and it would not turn so many people off I bet.
Verdict: Try some new flavor, but the idea is not bad.
Flawed Pictograms Eat Stuff Much
I’ll admit that I found this really funny. The name is a bit much, but goblins are supposed to be kind of hilarious but also disturbing and this hits both those notes. The problem is that there is way too much description and backstory to the point that it obscures the mechanics. The whole bit about flawed pictograms needs to go because it had me searching the text for what the proper pictograms should do. Cooking and eating anything (or anyone) is questionable, but there is already a witch hex which does basically that although it is explicitly evil. But then again, so are goblins.
Verdict: Pretty funny but mechanically kind of incoherent. It would be possibly to tone it down enough to capture the goblin flavor though.
Trickster’s Calling Card
When I see an item like this the first thing that I think is whether it would be more likely to be used by a PC or on a PC. If the answer to that question is that it is used on the party or by an NPC it is probably a plot item or skirts very close to that line. This item is far more likely to be used by an NPC than a PC, most likely to provide a plot hook. Additionally the powers, while appropriate to the idea, are a little trivial.
Verdict: I would expect to see this kind of thing in a movie or novel, but in a game it would likely serve only as a plot item.
Thank you for the kind words regarding the Chillforge Stein!
Ever Beating Heart
This item actually took me quite a while to analyze. The problem is the price point. This item basically acts as breath of life except that the 60ft. range largely removes one of the balancing aspects of breath of life, namely the range of touch. To give an easier to use in-combat resurrection ability up to ten times for under 4.5K is way undercosted. I get that the intent is for it to be used several rounds at a time so that the party beatstick can take those final attacks but I would only ever use this one round at a time as a slightly less efficient breath of life.
Verdict Cool and useful, but much too cheap.
Shadowmancer’s Heart
This is one of the most niche and narrowly useful items that I saw in the voting. Making an item which only functions for certain builds of a single class is not going to endear you to the voters. If the intent was that the summoning power works for anyone then you need to move it to the front and put the sorcerer specific power at the end to remove the ambiguity.
Verdict: Way too niche. Also you need a good edit for mechanical clarity.
Teapot of Potion Mixture
This item is simple and mechanically clear. It is also one of the few times that I am ok with long and strange construction requirements. The big problem is here is that this item is insanely powerful. It can extend potions and then multiply them by 6. That is literally up to twelve times the amount of protection than an unmodified potion of a buff would give. You literally make back the money that you spent of this in two uses of a third level potion in a party of six.
Verdict: Interesting design space but think about the ramifications and power level of your abilities.
Plague Cake
I don’t quite get how this in intended to be used. The rats are summoned over a long period of time, so it is not intended for use in combat. I guess it is intended to be planted inside a building or on a ship. But in that case it is more of a plot item since it basically becomes a random encounter in a maritime campaign.
Verdict: not sure how this is not a plot item. Also Ewww, moldy food. I don’t really want to think about the flavor here too hard.
Shadow Archer’s Gage
This was very, very good. I don’t particularly like the name or the range finding feature as it seems kind of trivial and does not really match the shadow theme of the rest of item has. The core mechanic of letting you basically fire a bow one-handed is great. It is well written and mechanically tight. Pilfering the % effectiveness of shadow conjuration is excellent as well.
Verdict: Despite some mechanical issues I voted for this a bunch. I am taking the visual of the shadow acting independently and firing a bow for my future writings. Awesome.
RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32
,
Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8
aka Cathara
|
Honestly; people get icked out by a mouldy biscuit (something you may have to one day face in real life) but are happy to fight undead, oozes and the myriad of other nasties in Pathfinder? It baffles the mind.
And yup, it's made to be planted as a distraction for various long cons and rogue-like activities. Maybe my group plays a different game but I find we don't do so much dungeon bashing and deal more with organisations, espionage and in game politics. Plus rogues are awesome.
Honestly; people get icked out by a mouldy biscuit (something you may have to one day face in real life) but are happy to fight undead, oozes and the myriad of other nasties in Pathfinder? It baffles the mind.
People don't encounter undead and oozes in real life, but they do encounter gross, moldy food. This detachment from reality makes the former more tolerable than the latter.
|
RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32
,
Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8
aka Cathara
|
Honestly; people get icked out by a mouldy biscuit (something you may have to one day face in real life) but are happy to fight undead, oozes and the myriad of other nasties in Pathfinder? It baffles the mind.People don't encounter undead and oozes in real life, but they do encounter gross, moldy food. This detachment from reality makes the former more tolerable than the latter.
To me that just seems like a lack of imagination. You may not encounter actual undead but if you can't imagine the rotting flesh, maggots, stench, etc that they create then you seem to lack imagination.
More to the point, undead and oozes are in the game usually as opponents to be battled, while the items in RPG Superstar are generally used for treasure or equipment. One may be grossed out by a zombie, but its purpose is to gross you out, as part of motivation for killing it (along with that it's an evil, soulless monstrosity that eats people). Most equipment's purpose is to help you in some way - and generally you want clean, not-disgusting equipment to do that job best.
|
RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32
,
Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8
aka Cathara
|
More to the point, undead and oozes are in the game usually as opponents to be battled, while the items in RPG Superstar are generally used for treasure or equipment. One may be grossed out by a zombie, but its purpose is to gross you out, as part of motivation for killing it (along with that it's an evil, soulless monstrosity that eats people). Most equipment's purpose is to help you in some way - and generally you want clean, not-disgusting equipment to do that job best.
And yet we have Alchemists with tumor familiars, Witches who vomit spiders and Druids with giant leech companions... I think adventurers need to harden up just a tad.
To be fair, I think the tumor familiar's pretty darn disgusting too, and wouldn't have a PC take it (might use it for a demented villain NPC though).
Can't speak on the leech, I don't play druids.
|
RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32
,
Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8
aka Cathara
|
To be fair, I think the tumor familiar's pretty darn disgusting too, and wouldn't have a PC take it (might use it for a demented villain NPC though).
Can't speak on the leech, I don't play druids.
*nods* The Plague Cake is an item for tricksy rogue types (though not necessarily rogues specifically); it's no worse than what your average toddler would pick up and play with, let alone something a hardened adventurer would carry briefly from one place to another.
And frankly; if your adventurer is carrying any foodstuff for long periods of time it will go bad. This isn't meant to be carried around idly.
I mean yes; Pathfinder is escapist stuff. But it's still a medieval-esq setting where your character will deal with nasty monsters, be stabbed and possibly even get diseased (the wonders of mummyrot and filth fever to name but a few!) and generally deal with the hazards of evil.
On top of this we have PC types that use a large variety of somewhat unsavory things, because it's a dark, mean world at times and good is not always pleasant. The spell lists can be hideous (there's one that gives you extra eyes all over your head! Vomiting spiders! All manner of less than sightly stuff).
Remeber that my main problem with the plague cake is not the gross flavor. The problem is that since the intent seems to be that it is a long term plan kind of item it strays into being a plot item. It almost feels to me more like a random encounter appropriate to a ship rather than an item
|
RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32
,
Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8
aka Cathara
|
Remeber that my main problem with the plague cake is not the gross flavor. The problem is that since the intent seems to be that it is a long term plan kind of item it strays into being a plot item. It almost feels to me more like a random encounter appropriate to a ship rather than an item
Yep, which is a fair enough criticism. I play in groups that like a bit of a long-game look at things on occasion but yeah, it lurks towards GM tool. That's cool. And constructive, so thanks :)
But yeah, people getting icked was something I really couldn't get. It seems silly that some people get freaked out over something they could, and probably will, encounter in real life.
Boots, Tower
Its…stilts. I honestly wasn’t terribly excited about this item once I figured out what it did. It does it well but it is just rather dull. Also if there is a mechanic to attack the stilts you need to say the hardness/hp. I assume that as 2 inches of darkwood they have hardness 5 and 20 hp, but you shouldn’t make the reader look that up based on descriptions hidden away in the fluff.
Verdict: Not bad, just not interesting enough to be superstar.
Thank you for the feedback Saint Caleth. I think that I spent too much space on the mechanics and buried my lead. For the record, I did actually state the hardness and hp, but this just clarifies that I had probably lost you by that point. Right you are about the lack of superstar.