A little creative diversion between waiting and monster writing: what do you see as the SKR's duties as Host of Superstar?

[Anthony Adam]

So, Here are a few ideas of what I think Host duties entail this year...

Master Death Quaker - Counts every word on every submission (yeah right :P) and DQ's the down right silly word count items.
Coffee Runner - has to make all coffee shop runs for the judges to get them only the best in coffee infusions, as often as they demand.
Doughnut Boy - Get the judges their daily doughnuts and cream cakes so they can carry on judging.

Interior decorator for the Top 32 Hall of Fame thread.

What can your fertile, imaginative, creative, evil brains come up with that you think would be a service/duty of a Host of RPG Superstar ? ;)

[Anthony Adam]

Ohhh another one...

In House Developer Assessor - gets all in house creative talent to submit an item, removing them at vote end and noting their final placement in all entries. This position is then fed into their next staff review! ;P

Taking it further... getting all freelance talent to submit and then offering work to those avoiding the cull >.<

[Cheapy]

Laughing maniacally.

Well, I guess that's his role at all times anyhow.

[Chris Shaeffer]

Mostly to entertain and inform me, but he also has to have great hair.

[Lamontius]

opening monologue and musical number

[pH unbalanced]

Provoking the judges into trash-talking each other.

Creating a narrative to explain the results. Like why all Top 32 items are Torcs.

[Curaigh]

Commission/approve the theme song?
Finding appropriate sound effects for casting a vote, making the Top 32/16/4, Clark's praise, blunt truth, anytime someone says 'mojo/awesome/SiC,' etc.?
Interviewing exiting contestants (or previewing potential-contestants)?

[Sir William]

pH unbalanced wrote:

Creating a narrative to explain the results. Like why all Top 32 items are Torcs.

That narrative seems straight foward if you consider the infinite monkey theorem. All RPGSuperstar participants, hitting keys on a computer keyboard for a minimum of one year, will almost surely type thirty-two terrific Torc (with alterations).

Monkeys + Time + Typewriter = the complete works of William Shakespeare.

RPGSuperstar + Time + Computer = Torcs.

[Garrett Guillotte]

Providing today's Hot News for Cowboys Gunslingers.

[Jacob Trier]

Garrett Guillotte wrote:

Providing today's Hot News for Cowboys Gunslingers.

I don't....what....I have no words!?

[Lamontius]

The Time of Thirty-Two Typed Torcs of Terrific Text

omg dq'd for excessive alliteration

[Rabbitball]

Only SKR knows the accuracy of this story, and I doubt he will tell us, but the way I heard it was this:

Quote:

The gods of Paizo said to the Work Gopher, "You are Gopher. Your job is to provide labor and tireless service for the Judges. Your term shall be 15 years."

And the gopher said, "This is too long; please only give me five." And it was so.

Then the gods said to the Typing Monkey, "You are Monkey. Your job is to type snarky comments about everything the Judges choose to do. Your term shall be 30 years."

And the monkey said, "This is too long; please only give me 20." And it was so.

Then the gods said to the Watchdog, "You are Dog. Your job is to look for those who slander the Judges and refute them with your voice. Your term shall be 25 years."

And the dog said, "This is too long; please only give me 15." And it was so.

Finally, the gods said to SKR, "You are Man. You are to rule the Judges and be respected by all. Your term will be five years."

And SKR said, "This isn't enough time! All those other animals gave back years; add them to me." And it was so.

And that is why SKR spent the first five years ruling over the judges. Now he is entering the 10 years of tireless labor the Gopher gave up, to be followed by a decade of snarky comments and another 10 years of barking at people.

[Amy Gillespie]

Lamontius wrote:

opening monologue and musical number

Which musical number will it be?

"Little Baggie, You're The One?"
"Hey Mickey?"
"One of These Torcs (Is Not Like the Others)"
"(You Came In Like) A Boot to the Head"
"Wake Me Up (Then Put Me to Sleep Again)"

[Rabbitball]

Opening number: The Waiting is the Hardest Part

[Sean K Reynolds]

Oddly enough, all of the above are true!

[Anthony Adam]

All? even the one for staff assessment!!

Lol, I now have my urban monster, it's you ! :P

[Zi'on Darkbane]

Anthony Adam wrote:

All? even the one for staff assessment!!

Lol, I now have my urban monster, it's you ! :P

Staff of Assessment sounds like an artifact of a long lost empire that relied on the dark and sinister workings of beauracracy in lieu of magic...

[Samuel Stone]

Zi'on Darkbane wrote:

Anthony Adam wrote:

All? even the one for staff assessment!!

Lol, I now have my urban monster, it's you ! :P

Staff of Assessment sounds like an artifact of a long lost empire that relied on the dark and sinister workings of beauracracy in lieu of magic...

"You have been weighed. You have been measured. You have been found wanting...of the form from line B. You'll need to wait there for the next several years."

I always knew the DMV was an ancient evil empire!

[Noteleks]

As God, I revoke those extra years SKR and your term is almost at a end. I would like to be the first to thank you for your dedication. It is good to be God, Muhahahahahahahaha.....

[Jester David]

His job is to run in the giant hamster wheel that's hooked up to a generator, powering Paizo's office since the blackout.

[Sean McGowan]

Jester David wrote:

His job is to run in the giant hamster wheel that's hooked up to a generator, powering Paizo's office since the blackout.

Pfah. That's what interns are for.

[Anthony Adam]

Yeah, but pre-cull voting gave all interns the exhausted condition, so we had to have replacements to keep the servers powered. Sean gets to pick 'em :P

[Scott Williams 16]

As host, should he not provide food, beverage and entertainment? I'm cheap, beer and pizza would be fine! He could stream interns feeding the cave raptors (or interns being fed to the raptors, I'm easy.)