The DM will always win. If you are having fun then who cares? If not then talk it over with your other players, if they feel the same then talk it over with the DM.
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It would have been more effective to max AC instead honestly. You could still end up with DR at the same time too. However, it also depends on what your Barbarians Max AC would be.
As a level 5 Qinggong Monk, it nearly always requires my DM a natural roll of a 20 to actually land a hit, and another 20 to confirm the crit. I very rarely take damage even when being surrounded by a full group.
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If it really is DM versus Players perhaps they should try running a game of Decent: Journeys in the Dark. It can be quite a lot more fun and is well suited to a more competitive play style.
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No.
You need to talk to your DM, and let her know it's not a competition.
It's a cooperative game.
If she doesn't agree, then you will never "win".
Nobody "wins" Pathfinder, unless everyone is having fun.
Until this happens, you might as well throw out any idea of a successful build.
It won't matter.
My dm is the kind where its her vs the players.
Quit the game. This person doesn't understand the first thing about GMing, and you shouldn't waste your time with her.
If the GM wants to hit you, you'll be hit. I'm not really sure what you mean when you describe how she designs encounters, but I hope it's not:
You guys are APL 14, so I'll throw 3-10 CR 14 challenges at you.
I interpreted it as 'You guys are APL 14, so I'll make a CR 14 encounter and multiply the monsters present by 3-10'.
I think jonathan has a good idea about trying to understand where the DM style comes from. A couple of questions that might help:
1) Are you playing a campaign that she's writing herself? It's easier to get personally invested in "winning" when you create the bad guys. If this is the case, you might ask her to run a pre-written campaign or module, which might help her to break the habit of thinking of the challenges as "hers" or somehow reflecting badly on her if the players defeat it.
2) Could it be that this is just how she learned to play RPGs? My first D&D group (cough!cough!) years ago was a very competitive arms race, with several members who believed that the GM's job was to try to kill the players, full stop. This seems to be a common belief among players in their mid teens, particularly the boys I've played with. If she started playing in high school, it's entirely possible that she's not actually aware of any other way to play. (Based on jonathan's comment, it sounds like the "try to kill everyone and strut and gloat when you do" crowd might have migrated over to MMOs, but I don't have much experience with them.)
3) As a follow-on to #2: Is there anything in the group dynamic that could make her think that is how your group wants to play?
If she's otherwise a good GM, you can try to understand why she's playing this way and maybe even resolve the issue. If not, you're probably better off just walking away.
If the issue is that you just don't have anywhere else to play, maybe you could try running sometimes, and expose her (and the group) to different GMing style.
