MATT DAMON!!!

[Matt Damon Puppet]

*looks up out of the water*

*seems happy to finally be able to relax*

*gets up, a little black censorship square between its legs, probably needlessly*

*dries itself off*

*puts on a hawaii shirt, a straw skirt and a white hat with a tiny pocket on*

Matt Damon.

[FuelDrop]

*Throws orange smoke grenade*

Artillery, your area!

[Matt Damon Puppet]

*picks up the smoky thing, waves it around to look at it, then throws it back to FuelDrop, clapping its hands to get it thrown back*

Matt Damon!

[The Original Quiche Lisp]

*puts the Matt to the torch* *watches it burn and scream with a quiet delight*

[krevon]

Hodor!!!

[Delivery Service]

*drops a rough draft of the script for the sixth Bourne movie onto the table*

[Matt Damon Puppet]

Reads... Continues reading... Turns it over and tries again...

Matt Damon???

[Tvashtri Abdul-Khasis]

*Scrutinizes Matt Damon Puppet*

A fine piece of workmanship, indeed...but something more could be done, yes?

*retrofits Matt Damon Puppet with silken pantaloons capable of casting true seeing once per day, a beak for eating honey, and a shoulder-mounted plasma cannon*

YES! NOW thou art a masterpiece!

[Matt Damon Puppet]

*flexes its wooden arms*

*considers its lazer gun and its plasma cannon*

MAAAAAAAAAATT DAAAAAAAAMOOOOON!!!!

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

*enters the dusty crypt, fireballs the cobwebs, rubs the dust off the inscription on the eldritch stele and reads aloud*

"Matt Damon."

[Matt Damon Puppet]

MATT DAMON!!!

[Monica Bellucci]

"Oh isn't that cute a Matt Damon puppet."

[Matt Damon Puppet]

*waves to Monica*

Matt Damon!

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Careful, he bites.

[Seppuku]

Matt Damon, meet Seppuku.

The End.

(until the next movie)

[Matt Damon Puppet]

I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:

Careful, he bites.

MATT DAMON!!! MATT!!! MATT DAAAAAAAMON!!!!!

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Yes, and some fool went and "upgraded" him with magical pantaloons and a shoulder-mounted plasma cannon, too.

[Johnny Depp Puppet]

JOHNNYYYYY DEPP!!! *explodes violently*

[Darklord Morius]

*Condemned to make 3 posts on this thread, Morius looks bleak*

MATT DAMON!!!

*His face shows only one desire: to be killed*

[Matt Damon Puppet]

*hugs Darklord Morius' leg tightly*

*looks up at him, maybe that's a smile, it's hard to tell*

Matt Damon!

[Darklord Morius]

*stares blankly at
Matt Damon Puppet*

MATT DAMOOOONN!

*start to burst in tears of humiliation and suffering*

[Matt Damon Puppet]

*jumps up and down in happiness*

MATT!!! DAMON!!!

*dances around Darklord Morius*

[Johnny Depp Puppet]

Deppity Depp-Depp!

*makes paper snowflake chain in a Matt Damon Puppet-and-Darklord Morius pattern*

[Darklord Morius]

*His mind broke, Morius madly smiles back Matt Damon Puppet and starts to dance*

MATT DAMON!!

*Suddenly, the Dimensional Anchor spell is dispelled, and Morius imprisonment ends*

I'm free from this bleak and hellish pocket plane of Matt Damon madnes?? Yes! YES!!! I'M FREEEEEE!!

*Pops out from Matt Demon Puppet pocket plane*

[Johnny Depp Puppet]

...Johnny Depp???

[Matt Damon Puppet]

*looks around for the Darklord*

*sniffs sadly*

*bawls dejectedly*

MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATT DAAAAAAAAAMOOOOOOOONNNNNN!!!!

[Molten Dragon]

Matt Damon?

[Matt Damon Puppet]

*nods sadly*

[Johnny Depp Puppet]

Johnny Depp?

[Matt Damon Puppet]

Joooooooooohnnnnnyyyy... Damon!!!

[Johnny Depp Puppet]

*offers Matt Damon Puppet a bottle of rum*

*realizes too late bottle of rum is empty*

*looks around, looks around some more, finally finds different, mostly-full bottle of rum to offer Matt Damon Puppet*

[Matt Damon Puppet]

*takes bottle*

*pours rum over its face trying to drink*

Matt.... Daaaa...mon...

[Shaft!]

SHAFT!

...Damn right.

[Matt Damon Puppet]

*cuts its little wooden finger with a knife*

*pretends to fly around like Iron Man*

[Johnny Depp Puppet]

*impales Matt Damon Puppet through both ears with a pair of scissors*

[Matt Damon Puppet]

*runs around with the pair of scissors sticking out*

*bawls unhappily, and tries to get his Iron Man atmospheric finger working to get away from JDP*

MATT DAMON!!!!!

[Johnny Depp Puppet]

*pours a cup of psychedelic tea, offers it to Matt Damon Puppet apologetically*

Johnny Depp.