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*looks up out of the water*

*seems happy to finally be able to relax*

*gets up, a little black censorship square between its legs, probably needlessly*

*dries itself off*

*puts on a hawaii shirt, a straw skirt and a white hat with a tiny pocket on*

Matt Damon.

*Throws orange smoke grenade*

Artillery, your area!

*picks up the smoky thing, waves it around to look at it, then throws it back to FuelDrop, clapping its hands to get it thrown back*

Matt Damon!

*puts the Matt to the torch* *watches it burn and scream with a quiet delight*


*drops a rough draft of the script for the sixth Bourne movie onto the table*

Reads... Continues reading... Turns it over and tries again...

Matt Damon???

Scarab Sages

*Scrutinizes Matt Damon Puppet*

A fine piece of workmanship, indeed...but something more could be done, yes?

*retrofits Matt Damon Puppet with silken pantaloons capable of casting true seeing once per day, a beak for eating honey, and a shoulder-mounted plasma cannon*

YES! NOW thou art a masterpiece!

*flexes its wooden arms*

*considers its lazer gun and its plasma cannon*


Scarab Sages

*enters the dusty crypt, fireballs the cobwebs, rubs the dust off the inscription on the eldritch stele and reads aloud*

"Matt Damon."


"Oh isn't that cute a Matt Damon puppet."

*waves to Monica*

Matt Damon!

Scarab Sages

Careful, he bites.

Matt Damon, meet Seppuku.

The End.

(until the next movie)

I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
Careful, he bites.


Scarab Sages

Yes, and some fool went and "upgraded" him with magical pantaloons and a shoulder-mounted plasma cannon, too.

Silver Crusade

JOHNNYYYYY DEPP!!! *explodes violently*

Grand Lodge

*Condemned to make 3 posts on this thread, Morius looks bleak*


*His face shows only one desire: to be killed*

*hugs Darklord Morius' leg tightly*

*looks up at him, maybe that's a smile, it's hard to tell*

Matt Damon!

Grand Lodge

*stares blankly at
Matt Damon Puppet*


*start to burst in tears of humiliation and suffering*

*jumps up and down in happiness*


*dances around Darklord Morius*

Silver Crusade

Deppity Depp-Depp!

*makes paper snowflake chain in a Matt Damon Puppet-and-Darklord Morius pattern*

Grand Lodge

*His mind broke, Morius madly smiles back Matt Damon Puppet and starts to dance*


*Suddenly, the Dimensional Anchor spell is dispelled, and Morius imprisonment ends*

I'm free from this bleak and hellish pocket plane of Matt Damon madnes?? Yes! YES!!! I'M FREEEEEE!!

*Pops out from Matt Demon Puppet pocket plane*

Silver Crusade

...Johnny Depp???

*looks around for the Darklord*

*sniffs sadly*

*bawls dejectedly*


Matt Damon?

*nods sadly*

Silver Crusade

Johnny Depp?

Joooooooooohnnnnnyyyy... Damon!!!

Silver Crusade

*offers Matt Damon Puppet a bottle of rum*

*realizes too late bottle of rum is empty*

*looks around, looks around some more, finally finds different, mostly-full bottle of rum to offer Matt Damon Puppet*

*takes bottle*

*pours rum over its face trying to drink*

Matt.... Daaaa...mon...


...Damn right.

*cuts its little wooden finger with a knife*

*pretends to fly around like Iron Man*

Silver Crusade

*impales Matt Damon Puppet through both ears with a pair of scissors*

*runs around with the pair of scissors sticking out*

*bawls unhappily, and tries to get his Iron Man atmospheric finger working to get away from JDP*


Silver Crusade

*pours a cup of psychedelic tea, offers it to Matt Damon Puppet apologetically*

Johnny Depp.

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