Ohhh, two items in one week - you can tell I submitted for Wayfinder already can't you ? :P
For a name...how about:
The Second Gunman
A morbid play on the critical confirm aspect referring to the nigh-mythical second gunman on the grassy knoll during the JFK assassination.
Hmmm, I don't feel comfortable with that. It is an interesting notion, but I feel that sort of edging on political theme might alienate people. So I think I will respectfully decline that one.
Fair enough!
How about something like "Grit Free Barrel" or "The Risk Taker".
I think I will stick with Smoking Barrel - it has grown on me as I slept on it - it conjures the right image for the item, so although it is a bit predictable and meme, I think it is the best fit.
Okay, not exactly a Superstar round but I think I had a little too much beer today - enjoy (if you can)...
To the classic Disney Jungle Book - I wanna be like you...
Now I'm the king of Superstar
Oh, the longest non winner
I've posted lots, all been flops
And that's whats botherin' me
I wanna be a games designer
And make my mark in books
Becoming a published author
Writin' classic adventure hooks!
Oh, Gygax, Paizo's Sean too
I wanna be like you
I wanna play like you
Write like you, true!
You'll see it's true
A noob like me
Can learn to inspire too
"Gee, cousin Clark - You're doin' real good"
"Now here's your part of the deal, Sean...
Lay the secret on me of how to inspire"
"But I don't know how to inspire!"
Now don't try to kid me, Sean
I made a deal with you
What I desire is how to inspire
To make my dream come true
Give me the secret, Sean
Clue me what to do
Give me the power of how to inspire
So I can be like you
LOL, yeah, way way too much beer >.<
Bet you all grinned though :D
I know this is a touch off-topic, but this mod is basically what I'd have pitched if I had made it into the final four in my year of Superstar. I'm pretty happy with how it came out and still completely thrilled that it's been published. Heck, it even got a five-star review!
AWESOME!!!!
I'll check it out when I'm at home or lunch with some leisure time.
hmmm...
Man's Red Flower consider me inspired AA :)
Congratulations again Jacob!
That is awesome Jacob!
Bank Holiday Weekend this weekend in the UK - whoo hoo - time to get down with some more writing and designing!
Nice! Chorboden's Spectre is very evocative indeed!
Congrats Jacob!
Man’s Red Flower
Aura faint transmutation; CL 3rd
Slot none; Price 1,000 gp; Weight --
Description
This crystal rose has edges of red and a yellow-orange core. When held it radiates warmth. When activated the user bursts into flame and is reborn as a human.
The user loses a negative racial modifier to one ability and gains a +10 to disguise checks made to look human. He loses darkvision or low-light vision and becomes a medium creature (possibly affecting speed and AC). He no longer needs to emulate a race for use magic device checks if that race is human. He gains a +1 racial bonus on Reflex saves and a +1 dodge bonus to Armor Class when adjacent to at least two other humans. The user gains Skill Focus in the skill of their choice as a bonus feat.
These effects last for 10 minutes. If the user is human the effects last for 1 hour instead. Once used the crystal turns black, and can not be reused until human blood recharges man’s red flower. This requires at least one point of damage to a human and 24 hours.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Skill Focus, alter self; Cost 500 gp
pretty sure the "possibly affecting..." is a no no :)
You've got an interesting germ of an idea and some neat visuals, but I think this has a few problems, Curaigh.
Not crazy about the name. It doesn't really tell me anything about this.
I think your description is a bit choppy and "has" is an uninspiring verb. I might try instead for something like: "Radiating warmth, this crystal rose's yellow-orange core bleeds to red along the petal's edges."
While I like the visual of bursting into flame (makes me want to see phoenix in the name), I also wonder if that has any game effect. Does it cause harm to the user? Anyone adjacent?
I think I'd eliminate the negative racial modifier aspect, since not everyone even has that. Also, what if the user has darkvision AND low-light vision, which is possible. UMD should be capped. You've got a bad subject-pronoun problem (the user gains Skill Focus in the skill of THEIR choice...).
I think it's also got some oddness, like it lasts for an hour for a human, but all they would get I think is Skill Focus as a bonus feat plus maybe a boost to Reflex and AC (and I suppose you could argue that it's a +10 to Disguise to look like a particular human, but I think that could be stretching it).
Finally, I think the recharge method is a bad choice. I'd make this a one-shot item. Even if you decide not to do that, I'd shy away from blood as a recharge. I know I've done a couple things with it since last year's voting myself, but that's something we should all probably avoid.
Man’s Red Flower
...
[/ooc]pretty sure the "possibly affecting..." is a no no :)
* wakes on smelling a rare point *
"What sort of emdash is that!" exclaims the Fu, pointing at the Weight.
"Consider yourself resoundingly slapped!", he mutters, while waddling away with his early point munch.
___ grin ___ got that out of my system.
Not crazy about the opening paragraph, don't like the term "when activated", I suspect it could be rephrased.
I quite like that you can choose to change to a human for a short period. That's quite novel, although with the name, I probably would have said that you are reborn as a male human to have a tighter tie to the name of the item.
Not crazy about being reborn, if I'm reborn, why is there a duration of the effect - do I then die to go back to my natural form.
It's also one of those mucky horrible recharge with blood things, but you probably know that.
Why would a human choose to be human other than to get that next to other humans bonus? I would simply preclude a human form using the item, but that's just me.
For the recharge, I would say once used it turns black and closes into a tight bulb, which can be reopened by leaving for an hour in the early morning sun.
It does feel a bit Swiss Army Knife too.
A good practice item though. Hope the feedback helps.
Once last one, as I am practicing visuals, here is an alternative visual...
A giant (8 foot diameter) sized flower, that grows close to the ground, You step into the flower and the petals rise up to fold around you, covering your completely. They then turn black and fall away revealing the human within, laying flat awaiting the life giving rays of the morning sun.
Hmmm, I might be getting too in touch with my inner female there >.<
Oh yeah, don't be like me-eee-eee - I haven't made top slots or alternate yet.
Name - I didn't like it when first reading it. Still don't like it afterwards as it really makes me think this this was really a male to female change item.
I also really like the warmth while gripping, but disliked the "activated" term. In a fluff paragraph, that term doesn't really belong.
BUT! I also love the visual. I'd maybe spend a sentence describing if they burn to ashes and rise from them (yay phoenix) or if ashes fall from them and they step out from the flames as the new creature...you get the point.
Agreed on losing the "losing negative racial modifier" part.
+10 on Disguise checks to look human. This made me stumble. If they are reborn as a human...why do they need to make a check to look human? I think this should be re-worded to talk about looking like a specific human...but then that doesn't even need to be mentioned really because they already look human and would thus have no negative modifier to disguising themselves as a particular human.
How about "loses any racial abilities" instead of "dark vision or low-light vision"? Maybe that's too steep for what you are going for though.
Now the Emulate a race for UMD is something I'm not aware of...so good job on bringing in a (likely) over-looked rule. Now can someone clue me in on what that's about :)
"(Possibly affecting speed and AC)" again...going from any other size to Medium this is kind of unnecessary to point out.
Hmm...+1 to AC and Reflex when adjacent to 2 other humans...that's kind of interesting. As it is it doesn't make sense and makes this a bit of a SAK, but I'm curious to hear your thoughts behind this part. Because the looking like a human thing is cool. But getting bonuses from being around other humans is pretty interesting. Maybe a bonus teamwork feat?
Blah blah recharge mechanic (just kidding). :)
Alter self sure is doing a lot of heavy lifting for this! Which brings me to...
Price! This is purely preferential and a gut feeling, but I don't like the price. I get that this is a short time limited use item...but with the recharge mechanic makes it not so limited use. 1x per day, true, but usable every day. If this was truly a 1 time use item (which it feels like it should be) then I would be pretty ok with the price (I'd still look for it to be a bit higher since 10 minutes is longer than the 1 min/level that alter self grants).
Overall...I love the idea and visual idea you've got going on here. There's issues with what's mentioned above, but I'd love to see a revision of this!
This was inspired by AA's song, and everytime I hear it I feel like Baloo cause I'm gone, just solid gone...
I Wanna Be Like You by The Jungle Book
Now I'm the king of the swingers
Oh, the jungle VIP
I've reached the top and had to stop
And that's what botherin' me
wanna be a man, mancub
And stroll right into town
And be just like the other men
I'm tired of monkeyin' around!
Oh, oobee doo
I wanna be like you
I wanna walk like you
Talk like you, too
You'll see it's true
An ape like me
Can learn to be humen too
( Gee, cousin Louie
You're doin' real good
Now here's your part of the deal, cuz
Lay the secret on me of man's red fire
(But I don't know how to make fire )
Now don't try to kid me, mancub
I made a deal with you
What I desire is man's red fire
To make my dream come true
Give me the secret, mancub
Clue me what to do
Give me the power of man's red flower
So I can be like you
You!
I wanna be like you
I wanna talk like you
Walk like you, too
You'll see it's true
Someone like me
Can learn to be
Like someone like me
Can learn to be
Like someone like you
Can learn to be
Like someone like me!
The human racial subtype cosmopolitan gives the alternate racial traits where-from I stole the powers (heart of the streets & skilled). If you miss that "man's red flower" is fire* and that fire would let an ape partake of towns, the whole idea is lost. :) I'm ok with that, I want to keep the Kipling references as whole as possible, but for a SuperStar entry even a Blazing 9 entry I would have to veer farther from the classics :). That's what rewrites are for. There is no advantage for a human to use it, but I anticipate players will do so anyway (cause y'know, players :) I'll try to address the other questions in the rewrite.
*Anthony you missed that too?
"...you better believe it and I'm loaded with both..."
heh heh, yeah, I was in a lunchtime frenzy >.< - work is manic at the moment, so I'm kind of brain dumping raw first impressions to keep my hand, eye, and brain in the game.
Ok, setting myself a challenge - I have the Mythic Adventures hardback and I am going to have a look and then attempt a mythic something just for fun.
I don't know if mythic uses different templates as I haven't cracked the spine yet, but my intent is to have a try at something. This means I will be very quiet for a few days as I have a few pages to read and enjoy.
15 minutes to the weekend! Toot toot!
I should be getting my mythic book (finally!) today as well...I might take your challenge as well!
Major updates to the guide - now includes some suggested games design and writing reading. (37,000 words now and rising >.<). The new format and greater depth indexing is working nicely too!
Please have a look - the Item Round is now virtually completed, just working through the remaining general discussion threads, so the round 1 and entry guide is on target for sharing this year, and then I can start on the other rounds.
Let me know if you want to recommend additional reading / educational books and guides - provide the details and I will add them.
Now back to Mythic Adv - its a very good read!
A couple of people have asked how many threads are involved with the guide I am building, so here are some totals for you.
This is forum post counts, just in the general discussion sections of each year - by the way - this year's was a record breaking total...
2008 had 6853 general discussion posts
2009 had 6316
2010 had 8310
2011 had 12421 - that was a BIG Clark Feedback thread year :D
2012 had 8560
This year had 13073! A new record.
That's a total of 55533 posts I am working through not including the actual entry threads! Add those in and we are close to 60000 posts in total to be scanned for design advice.
I have skimmed through most of the posts and have identified most of what I need to include in the guide, so I am now on pass no 2, the actual building and extracting phase.
So far, I have completely finished with 1053 posts out of 55533, or 1.9% of the general discussion posts - wow this job was much bigger than I imagined, but it is coming together nicely.
It's actually more than that as I have included whole meal some of my earlier summary posts, so I would estimate, I have actually covered about 20% of the total post count already.
So now you know why this is taking so long :P
This isn't really a superstar item, I'm using it on my blog as an item owned by my version of the whit rabbit from Alice and wonderland (blog is lit to pathfinder themed now)
Alluring Pocketwatch of Punctuality
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 5th
Slot none; Price 16,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
A diamond studded platinum pocketwatch with a glass hourglass filled with mercury. The wearer of this fine timepiece gains a +4 bonus to Charisma and a hyper awareness of the time. The wearer may cast haste, expedious retreat, and dimension door once a day. If the wearer makes any time commitments they must make a fortitude save everey minute they are late or become sickened.
Construction
Requirements craft wonderous item, dimension door, eagle's splendore,expedious retreat, haste; Cost 8,000 gp
First impressions, the alliteration in the name might turn off voters - believe me, i fell into the alliteration trap, so be wary of it. Its not so bad here, i just personally think dropping the of punctuality means that at the gaming table, you can lean over to the gm, saying , "I pull out my alluring pocketwatch", wiggle your eyebrows and it just, for me, sounds cooler without the extra embellishment.
It also reminds me of a spell, i think it was/is called geas or something like that. Im tired at the moment from a 12 hour day, so forgive me if my brain is a bit slow or forgetful.
I would drop dimension door, its not really time related and doing so makes it less Swiss Army Knife, which it feels like as is.
Also, be careful of terms like make commitments, is that a promise, an inner thought, a contract, a dinner date, etc. because the effect is to make saves or be sickened and to keep making them. ... What if you are prevented fulfilling the commitment, sickened forever?
Check spelling of eagles, Im not sure that is correct, theres an extra e on the end, and expeditious seems incorrectly spelt too
Also, for this sort of effect, consider if the watch is stolen, do I still suffer penalties for commitments made whilst wearing the watch. If already sickened, does losing the watch end the effect?
Im sure you have thought of these and kept it simple which is good, but the item does kind of easily lead to questions like i have raised - something i have noticed in general, when designing, the item chosen can also have a negative impact on the superstarness of a design.
I think what I like most is the idea of hyper awareness of time. I'd like to see something play with that, even though we know in terms of Superstar that time is a dangerous area to play (and in terms of general game design, I guess).
I know you said this wasn't Superstar, so I don't want to repeat too much of what Anthony said, in terms of it being somewhat SIAC and SAK. I will say, in terms of practice, I'd be careful going with multiple spells. I think that's something that voters really looked down on (you did use all arcane spells, which I appreciate, since I remember seeing some that mixed -- which while not impossible, seemed odd to me). I'd probably not use more than two spells for something I submitted unless I thought it was really a top-notch item that could overcome what I think people would use as a mark against it when it comes to a quick comparison of items.
I have to admit, that I find some of the same mistakes as we've seen before in terms of grammar and style frustrating. Craft Wondrous Item should be capitalized and spelled correctly, one spell is misspelled and they're only italicized in one spot, there's a missing space. Fortitude should be capped.
dear god, I must have been tired to miss the Craft spelling and capitalisation - lol.
Yeah, although you said it wasn't superstar, I still gave it a thorough run through for the benefit of any lurkers - hope that's ok?
Mythic item - first attempt imminent - just checking the feat name and teh first draft is done.
Ok, my first attempt at a Mythic Item – it is oh so easy to go gonzo too much, so the attempt here is not only visuals but Mythic Power without too much or too little – I worry I may have reined myself in too much for Mythic, so I am looking forward to the feedback on this one.
I also tried to come up with a consumable mythic item that is relatively cheap and cheerful for those players playing mythic characters from level 1.
I also was so tempted to use the feathers from Greek mythology (Artemis Bow or Hermes Winged Sandals link to the feather source), so this was quite an exercise in staying clean and neutral for use in the Golarion setting.
Yeah, this one was a BIG experiment with a lot of potential new pitfalls and considerations. I know it’s a little wordy (267 words), but I wanted it to have both normal utility as well as mythic utility. I hope I pulled it off and that you enjoy it all the same.
Price was awkward, so I placed the item to similarly powered normal items disregarding the mythic powers. I suspect I need to work in some more to the price, but this was my first ever go at mythic and I haven’t yet read all of the book.
Sighting Flight Feather
Aura faint divination, evocation, and transmutation; CL 5th
Slot none; Price 1,000 gp; Weight –
Description
This multi-hued flight feather, from the wings of a new born Phoenix, is hot to the touch, smoking slightly with a malformed stem that bends at the midpoint.
Firing a projectile weapon with one of these feathers attached causes the projectile to take the form of an elongated screeching bird of flame in flight. Once, at any point along its trajectory, the projectile can suddenly veer left, right up or down at a right angle to its current path, allowing a line of effect to the intended target that negates cover. On a hit, the target takes an additional 1d6 fire damage.
Expending one mythic power empowers the projectile, making it blazing white with heat. On a hit, the empowered projectile splits into three identical projectiles, the first phasing through the initial target and continuing on its current flight path. The other two fly at ninety degrees to the original flight path. Each secondary projectile will fly a maximum of 30 feet, with one bend in its 30 foot flight. Secondary projectiles produce no further splits on hitting their target and cannot target the original target.
Expending two mythic power provides a choice of either allowing the consumption of the feather as a component for magic missile, affecting each magic missile as described above, or, allows all projectiles to split on a hit, even if the secondary projectile was split from a secondary projectile.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Mythic Crafter, flaming arrow, magic missile, truestrike; Cost 500 gp
...Searches old threads...
Question: Did anyone go to the feedback thread for the last Superstar comp and cross reference the top 92 with the top 32 and then work out which items got voted to the top by the public but didn't make it past the judges?
I suspect that might give you an interesting insight into how the judges' minds work.
I haven't yet, but I was going to do so nearer the time.
At the moment, I'm concentrating on visuals and practice and hoepfully some wow factor.
So come on Matt, give my mythic stab a ripping, I need to get a better understanding of mythic as if it is allowed, i am thinking of going mythic with my entry this year.
Don't hold back, I'm expecting it to get shredded as it's my first go at this level of item.
Sighting Flight Feather
Name - I have a kneejerk dislike reaction to the name...Although I don't know why.
I get hesitant using that many interjections in a sentence...mainly because I don't know the rules well enough in grammar to not bastardize the common comma.
Again the commas...I need help personally to understand if it is ok.
Is the feather consumed during its normal use? Also...does it work on bullets? Because that imagery is kind of weird. It is a projectile though. As is a thrown weapon. And siege stuff. I think maybe you were intending this to be used as decoration on a bow for an arrow but the term projectile leaves it open to a few things that are odd. Plus, on a siege weapon you'd have to factor in size as an extra 1d6 fire damage on a huge catapult weapon doesn't seem right either.
Now it is a pretty nice power being able to change the direction by 90 degrees. Is this a move action or is it part of the firing of the projectile? I could see the need for concentration if the character is deciding to mentally turn the arrow. Which kind of gives martials a telekinetic ability!
Fire damage makes sense.
I like the description for empowering it.
Now I get a little confused. So the creature takes no damage on a hit when expending one mythic power, instead the initial projected phases through and continues on while two more projectiles split and leave at right angles from the original target. I'm guessing you would be aiming at an ally that has an enemy behind and on both sides of them? AND the split projectiles can be turned in their 30ft flight? Cool idea. Really cool idea.
Two mythic powers and you get magic missile in which each missile can be phased/split or every projectile can split even if it has been split? I like the idea but I would limit it to saying that only the secondary projectiles can split. The way it is worded now I can see arguments where each projectile will split, then the all three split again...then each one of those split again...and so on.
From what I'm gathering after finally being able to read my mythic book is that the challenge really IS to keep yourself from going too hog wild on the powers. It needs to be cool and not easily doable in the normal rules AND it has to be limited enough not to be ridiculous. Your idea hits the cool and not easily doable parts. But I think you let yourself get a little too heavy on the extra power...especially at the cost.
Speaking of which I'm not sure I understand why true strike (2 words) is included in the reqs. I can make a stretch and say that's what you are using to make the bend in the flight path, but I'd say telekinesis is a better fit.
Overall I really like the idea you present. The cinematics are good but I'm a little put off by the number of interjections used in those descriptions. I also think this could use some revision to tighten up the wording on your 2 Mythic Powers cost section. Perhaps dropping the magic missile part to keep it focused on non-spell projectiles would help. Especially since magic missile already has a number missiles that can be targeted independently.
He he, it was the first draft. The one power was meant to be clearer, you do damage on the hit as normal, with the projectile continuing on to a second target which, if hit, would also be damaged.
I did wonder about including spell projectiles or not. I will think some more on that.
Very useful feedback as always.
This isn't really a superstar item, I'm using it on my blog as an item owned by my version of the whit rabbit from Alice and wonderland (blog is lit to pathfinder themed now)
Alluring Pocketwatch of Punctuality
Love the Carol flavor of this. :)
*non-game mechanic (commitments) with in game penalties (sickness).
**spells should be italicized (and I agree two are not time-related).
***time is largely ignored outside of combat, at least in my experience. Why would a character make an appointment and not keep it? In RL things happen, but in a dramatic telling these things are ignored (like what your character had for breakfast and just where did the hens come from or when was the character's last shower.) Now if it could be used against a player, GMs will go nuts for it :)
Still the kernel of hyper-awareness is a great one.
Sighting Flight Feather
*shooting around corners: cool. Second power... SAK (Top 32 last year...?)
*splitting arrows: cool. First power... SAK**prepositions seem superfluous. IS, though buried a dozen words into the sentence, is the verb. Making it blazing white with heat... why not combine your two verbs?
***do new-born phoenix fly or are they like other birds?
Again both of these concepts are pretty cool, but together it is too much imho, mythic or no.
...Searches old threads...Question: Did anyone go to the feedback thread for the last Superstar comp and cross reference the top 92 with the top 32 and then work out which items got voted to the top by the public but didn't make it past the judges?
I suspect that might give you an interesting insight into how the judges' minds work.
Someone did (patchwork cat was among them iirc) it will take some time to find though.
Glad to see others making items for the Blazing 9 :)
Smoking Barrel
*word ten, passive verb. Are you trying to avoid 'be' but hiding it from yourself instead?
**grit on a crit is replaced already. The difference is semantic imho.***lots of to-dos :)
the visual of a smoking barrel is a good one.
Sighting Flight Feather
*shooting around corners: cool. Second power... SAK (Top 32 last year...?)
*splitting arrows: cool. First power... SAK
**prepositions seem superfluous. IS, though buried a dozen words into the sentence, is the verb. Making it blazing white with heat... why not combine your two verbs?
***do new-born phoenix fly or are they like other birds?Again both of these concepts are pretty cool, but together it is too much imho, mythic or no.
Not sure what you are referring to as the second power - to me the powers are cornering, splitting, secondary splitting.
It confused me because you say that cornering was cool but then the seond power was SAK (the first mythic split).
Then you continue saying the splitting is cool but the secondary splitting is SAK O-o o-O o-o >.<
I assumed that all birds have flight feathers whether they can or cant, but to hedge my non biological knowledge, I went for a mythical bird :P
Can you elucidate on the SAK references please?
Hmmm, here's a revised version, hopefully cleaner - I think the telekinesis is probably a better fit than truestrike, but this has increased the CL and the price/cost. Again, not wholly calculated as I do think the normal power of the item in normal campaigns is of the order quoted below.
I also decided not to include spell projectiles, too many worms in that can for the word limit alone :P
And I have started trying to improve the name, still not perfect, but I think more in keeping with the source of the item ;)
I also changed the two mythic power multiple splits until they all miss effect - it should now be more comparable and in keeping with some items in the Mythic Book that did things like changing a radius into a mile.
Oh, yeah, wordcount dropped to 244.
Pheonix Soul Feather
Aura faint divination, and moderate transmutation; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 1,500 gp; Weight –
Description
Plucked from the fiery passing of a Phoenix, this slightly charred, multi-hued flight feather continues to radiate the smoke and warmth of the bird’s passing.
Firing an arrow or bolt with one of these feathers attached consumes the projectile and feather in fire, forming a flaming shaft of fire in the shape of a miniature phoenix. Once, at any point along its trajectory, the flaming shaft can veer left, right, up, or down at a right angle to its current path, providing a line of effect to the target that negates its cover. The archer must be aware of the target.
Expending one mythic power makes the flaming shaft blaze incandescently. Hitting with this shaft damages the target normally, and then the shaft immediately sunders into three identical bolts.
The first phases through the initial target continuing along its flight path. The other two fly at ninety degrees to the original flight path, directly opposed to each other, either to the left and right, or up and down.
All three fly for up to 30 feet and can veer once each. They do not split again unless the mythic archer spends additional mythic power. Up to four additional mythic power may be spent to create additional splits, two additional splits per point spent.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Mythic Crafter, flaming arrow, telekinesis; Cost 750 gp
I assumed that all birds have flight feathers whether they can or cant, but to hedge my non biological knowledge, I went for a mythical bird :PCan you elucidate on the SAK references please?
Even flying birds, just hatched (not sure if born is appropriate, but I will leave that to the biologists :), do not fly. It takes weeks or sometimes months before a chick fledges/flies. Moot point for your item, but it threw me out of the narrative. The new version is much better. :)
I think an arrow that can turn is cool. I think an arrow that splits is cool. I think both together are too much, too SAK. Just my opinion, and maybe it is normal within the bounds of mythic rules. The fire of the new version might be pushing the SAK bounds, but since you did not add fire damage too it, I don't think it is. The new version is a lot more complicated, but I think I know what it means. That trick alone would be enough for a single item.
FWIW I was thinking of the Reins of the Unstoppable Stridewhen I read yours, but I was obviously confusing it with the Trick Shot Glove.
Ahh, that makes more sense. Yeah mythic is like year one minefield all over again - grin - but im having fun.
Another weekend updating my guide. It's really starting to come together well now.
Hmmm, no new items for almost a week - guess I'd better tinker something up then :)
Hi guys. It's been a crazy almost year and I seem to have missed most of the fun this year in the Blazing 9 thread.
I have not been completely out of practice, though. I found time to make two very short one-shot adventures and a bunch of new evil outsiders as well as some crossbow related feats.
More relevant to this thread, however is the one item I was able to do:
Cape of Patchwork Knowledge
Aura moderate divination; CL 7th
Slot shoulders; Price 9,500 gp; Weight 1 lbs.
Description
Whatever appearance this cloak originally had has long been replaced by a riot of patchwork and mending in all the hues and colors never imagined by mankind. When worn by a bard, it allows the wearer to pull from the disparate collection of knowledge embodied in the cloak. Three times per day the wearer may retry a failed knowledge check as an immediate action. Additionally, the cloak acts as a 1st or 2nd level page of spell knowledge except that the wearer can also select a 1st level illusion or enchantment spell from the wizard/sorcerer spell list. While the cloak is granting this spell, it is treated as though it were on the wearer’s spell list as a 2nd level bard spell. The wearer may select the spell granted by the cloak, but may not change the spell more than once per week. The cloak has no power if the wearer is not a bard.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, timely inspiration, channel the gift; Cost 4,750 gp
Welcome Back Saint Caleth!
Cape of Patchwork Knowledge
*'A riot of patchwork...' is a strong image. I would start the description here rather than the hedge-sounding 'whatever appearance...'
**'has no power if not a bard' sounds a little weak, though I cannae say why. Perhaps if it was tied to bardic knowledge or something it would appease my inner player (and open it to other lore-gathering classes?). Or maybe if it granted limited bardic knowledge (bonus to a knowledge skill?)***pulling and patches make me think the user physically removes a patch for the bonuses. Its not written in there, but was that the intent?
Where is channel the gift, I couldn't find it? EDIT: lbs. should be lb.
Nice work, bards need some love that is not music based and we can always use more help on knowledge checks. The bonus illusion/enchantment is cool too.
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More relevant to this thread, however is the one item I was able to do:Cape of Patchwork Knowledge
Aura moderate divination; CL 7th
Slot shoulders; Price 9,500 gp; Weight 1 lbs.
Description
Whatever appearance this cloak originally had has long been replaced by a riot of patchwork and mending in all the hues and colors never imagined by mankind. When worn by a bard, it allows the wearer to pull from the disparate collection of knowledge embodied in the cloak. Three times per day the wearer may retry a failed knowledge check as an immediate action. Additionally, the cloak acts as a 1st or 2nd level page of spell knowledge except that the wearer can also select a 1st level illusion or enchantment spell from the wizard/sorcerer spell list. While the cloak is granting this spell, it is treated as though it were on the wearer’s spell list as a 2nd level bard spell. The wearer may select the spell granted by the cloak, but may not change the spell more than once per week. The cloak has no power if the wearer is not a bard.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, timely inspiration, channel the gift; Cost 4,750 gp
Template Fu rushes in, grabs an early point snack and points at the sort order of your spells!
He he, welcome back of sorts I suppose!
Ok, this is a tea break at work, so the comments will be without book support or time to look up references and will be rough and ready.
Knowledge in the name kind of made me think this should be a head item rather than a cape - I recall some advice in one of the posts about the synergy between item slot and effects, so bear that in mind.
In the opening description, mending seemed to put me off, I understand its a reference to mending the cape with a patch, but the line doesn't quite scan right, especially when read aloud. I personally would have removed the and just prior to this, replacing with a breath taking comma - but I often have clunky phrasing, so that's up to you on that one.
Funnily enough, I found the spell selection as a second level bard spell much much cooler than "redo a failed knowledge check" - as we haven't said this for a while - cool power first please :P
I also found the spell part of the description awkwardly structured / worded, I can't put my finger on it exactly, so I think for this item, all that's needed is a bit of spit and polish on the description, a little power order juggle and a sort on the spell list.
Other than that, it seemed a nice and tight item, not too onerous on the GM or player, yes, I can see myself using this item.
***pulling and patches make me think the user physically removes a patch for the bonuses. Its not written in there, but was that the intent?
Where is channel the gift, I couldn't find it? EDIT: lbs. should be lb.
The pulling was metaphorical, I should probably change it to draw which is just as evocative and cuts down on confusion. Channel the gift is Nethys' spell from Gods and Magic and I used it because it is as far as I can find is the only bard spell which fits the granting of spells bit of the cloak.
I could probably let the knowledge rerolls work for anyone and restrict only the second power to bards which might solve some of your concerns with narrowness of the item.
Funnily enough, I found the spell selection as a second level bard spell much much cooler than "redo a failed knowledge check" - as we haven't said this for a while - cool power first please :P
I know that this is the received wisdom when it comes to making items, but I just can't shake the fact that in just about every actual published item, the shorter or static power comes first and the longer or activated ability comes second. As an example look at any of the "stat item with other ability" belts or headbands that were published in UE. I just have a really visceral reaction to the flow of the item for some reason to trying it the other way around.
A simpler option might be to choose one, but I agree with your point. :)
I know that this is the received wisdom when it comes to making items, but I just can't shake the fact that in just about every actual published item, the shorter or static power comes first
While this is true, think of the other reason, public vote! Grab that attention and get that vote! I have a feeling that getting the big bang in early is likely to win you votes whereas a not so exciting thing is equally likely to lose you a few.
I can't say for sure, but I think it's probably not far from the truth for voters who vote hundreds of times a day.
Sorry I havent posted anything this week, i am very work tied in a push week to implementation day. Things should get back to normal next week.
I also have some review work for a couple of people to get done, so off to the kitchen to make some hot choccy, and then to curl up and read...