It doesn't sound like there's a 'gender-test', but are there any guidelines to help with identification?
Can you clarify what you mean here?
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Apologies for being serious a lot lately...
If there are TERF (Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminists), are there also TARF (Trans-Accepting Radical Feminists)?
Is that such a fine point that it may as well be the head of a needle that spirits of various flavors are having a rave?
There certainly are groups of radfems who are very inclusionary of transwomen and some who don't really think about it or care one way or the other as long as we aren't getting in the way.
Can you clarify what you mean here?
It doesn't sound like there's a 'gender-test', but are there any guidelines to help with identification?
Are there legitimate surveys or other batteries of questions that can help someone figure out where they might sit on the gender spectrum? If the terminology is incorrect, please accept my apologies?
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Apologies for being serious a lot lately...
If there are TERF (Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminists), are there also TARF (Trans-Accepting Radical Feminists)?
Is that such a fine point that it may as well be the head of a needle that spirits of various flavors are having a rave?
My understanding of the history of the term TERF is that it was coined by a couple of radical feminists who were not fans of the TERF perspective. Cristan Williams of the TransAdvocate has an interview with one of the women who likely coined the term here.
We wanted a way to distinguish TERFs from other radfems with whom we engaged who were trans*-positive/neutral, because we had several years of history of engaging productively/substantively with non-TERF radfems, and then suddenly TERF comments/posts seemed to be erupting in RadFem spaces where they threadjacked dozens of discussions, and there was a great deal of general frustration about that.
Are there legitimate surveys or other batteries of questions that can help someone figure out where they might sit on the gender spectrum? If the terminology is incorrect, please accept my apologies?Can you clarify what you mean here?
It doesn't sound like there's a 'gender-test', but are there any guidelines to help with identification?
Nothing legitimate that I've heard of. It's more usually a process of deep introspection combined with dialogue with others about their experiences (which is something that this thread is good for).
That's what I've heard.
I'm still questioning, still curious, but I'm worried that I might be band-wagon hopping, too?
My personal experience few things are more grating than someone who's attempting to be 'in' just for 'being in'?
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To echo sentiments I've read before on that particular matter:
If the new 'in' thing is exploring your gender and trying to see what identities fit, it beats the hell out of not having any notion or language to explore it and just feeling confused.
Apologies for being serious a lot lately...
If there are TERF (Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminists), are there also TARF (Trans-Accepting Radical Feminists)?
Is that such a fine point that it may as well be the head of a needle that spirits of various flavors are having a rave?
While often not explicitly using the description of "radical feminist", anarchafeminists (and intersectional anarchists in general) share a lot of analysis with radical feminists but tend to be far less transantagonistic.
While I don't know of any larger organization with this perspective (as anarchist organizing tends to be localized), there are a few online places where this is common; on Facebook, I recommend the group Anarcha-transfeminism.
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Hey all,
I would just like to say hello, and give an update on my life.
1. I have discovered recently that one of our housemates is extremely homo/transphobic. He is also very physical, strong, and wouldn't hesitate to give me a beatdown if he found out. So I can't come out of the closet for a while, but...
2. We're moving out! Our place's rent just went way up, and because of the tricky financial situation, hopefully we'll be moving out in the summer!
3. I found a good therapist who doesn't specialize in gender issues, but has a lot of experience with helping patients get their 3-month analysis and help them cope with dysphoria. I've been skirting around the subject for two sessions now, but hopefully next session I'll finally be ready to talk.
4. My gaming group is awesome. They are all totally accepting of me, and downright insist that anyone who's dropping in for a session and is new uses my preferred pronouns and real name. They don't really make a big deal of it, either.
5. I would just like to thank Lissa and Crystal for being, to be honest, something of heroines for me. You guys have been such an inspiration, and you give me hope that one day I'll be able to go out and wear a dress and heels without getting slugged in the face.
So I have a really really scary awkward situation at work. So a woman at work whom I have major difficulties with basically said in the staff room that her husband pushed her up against the wall in a verbal argument. Apparently the mans father just passed away and he has gotten uncontrollably angry with her and their kids. Putting hands on your spouse is just plain not okay in my books. And if this is what she is admitting too what else could be going on. What should I do. This woman is super irritable to me and not generally nice to me, but I don't think I have it in me to not say or do something.......
Edit: I know this isn't LGBT specifically, but I am part of the LGBT community and this is a safe place.
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That's what I've heard.
I'm still questioning, still curious, but I'm worried that I might be band-wagon hopping, too?
My personal experience few things are more grating than someone who's attempting to be 'in' just for 'being in'?
As other folks have stated, there sadly aren't any good screenings or other ways to check for gender identity within a scale/spectrum/etc. Part of that is because gender as we usually understand it is just too rooted in culture/context. It would make things easier, but as someone who does a lot of mental health screening and assessment: I don't really ever want to see a formal screening for gender, because that is a slipper slope into 'nope, you fit in box A you can't be box X'. It would also likely exclude people who are nonbinary and/or gender fluid.
I don't think the kind of reflection or introspection you're describing is at all band-wagon hopping. Reflecting on what gender means to you, who you are re: gender, what that looks like for you, etc. IS normal. I think there's just shame wrapped up in it because we live in a society that tells you what your gender is from birth forwards and how they expect you to exist as said gender with pretty harsh pushback for not complying.
If this is weighing on and you're wanting to really process this out and explore it safely, I'd recommend finding a counselor who is known to be trans-friendly and educated on the subject, if only because that's an assurance they are open to discussing gender identity and can give professional feedback. They can give you the judgmental space to talk through this and get support with that. This assumes counseling like this is something accessible/available/affordable for you, though.
So I have a really really scary awkward situation at work. So a woman at work whom I have major difficulties with basically said in the staff room that her husband pushed her up against the wall in a verbal argument. Apparently the mans father just passed away and he has gotten uncontrollably angry with her and their kids. Putting hands on your spouse is just plain not okay in my books. And if this is what she is admitting too what else could be going on. What should I do. This woman is super irritable to me and not generally nice to me, but I don't think I have it in me to not say or do something.......
Edit: I know this isn't LGBT specifically, but I am part of the LGBT community and this is a safe place.
You really don't want to get involved personally, as the risk of violence escalating towards you, especially as part of the LGBT community, is a very real risk.
I would advise you to find a list of numbers for places that specialise in counselling victims of domestic violence and then anonymously emailing that to her or printing it and leaving it somewhere only she will find (and won't be revealed to the public).
Do not get involved. As bad as it sounds, this woman is apparently able to talk about it with others, and will get help if she needs it. Getting involved in this would from the sound of it come with a high price tag.
The only thing I would say you should do here is listen.
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As stated before, if she is open to talking about it, that's a good sign. She is talking openly about it, which means she feels safe with the folks she is around.
If she talks openly about it, directly to you (i.e. Not overheard, but part of a conversation with you), empathize/validate her situation ("That sounds really scary and hard."; "You shouldn't have to go through that.", etc.). If you are comfortable doing so (and only if you're comfortable doing so!) let her know you're willing to listen if she needs to talk further. Then, ask discretely if there is anything else you can do that would help or if you could find her some resources to get help.
I would advise against sending her anonymous emails or resources. You don't know who has access to those accounts and/or have no 100% guarantee that what you think is an area only she can access is something only she, in fact, can access. Plus, this all assumes she hasn't accessed resources or an appropriate professional support. While a lot of DV situations are rooted in power/control over the abused person, they DO have agency and DO reach out for help when they find it is safe to do so. Some are unwilling to acknowledge they are in an unsafe or unhealthy situation, but those usually aren't the ones who talk aloud in the staff room about what's going on.
Looks like Laverne Cox is going to be the lead for Rocky Horror TV show!
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It's a remake. And I'm super conflicted there. Frankenfurters song is a product of it's time and should probably die in a fire rather than be revived. I like to see Laverne getting all kinds of work, but that feels like a step back. And she already took a step back when she explained some mysogynistic thing to her son in OItNB and when her son asked her if she really wanted to live in a world like that, she said, "God help me, I do." >_< Really problematic. She's a great representative outside of the parts she plays and I know she has to eat, but *grumbles*.
Thanks for the advice folks..... I just wish I wouldn't ever find myself in these situations.
I think my favorite part of To Wong Foo was when Patrick Swayze beat the tar out of Stockard Channing's husband.
Don't ever lay your hands on your spouse in anger.
EDIT: I'm not advocating violence here. This sort of thing has always gotten a negative reaction from me.
It's a remake. And I'm super conflicted there. Frankenfurters song is a product of it's time and should probably die in a fire rather than be revived. I like to see Laverne getting all kinds of work, but that feels like a step back. And she already took a step back when she explained some mysogynistic thing to her son in OItNB and when her son asked her if she really wanted to live in a world like that, she said, "God help me, I do." >_< Really problematic. She's a great representative outside of the parts she plays and I know she has to eat, but *grumbles*.
I see...hm.
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I don't know if this is the right thread to talk about this, so I apologize if this is any sort of derail. But I also feel like starting this conversation in a different part of the forums will not be particularly fruitful, especially since I just have a vague complaint.
Something that's been bugging me lately (and has bugged me for a long while) is the flippant treatment of mental illness and "insanity" with regards to character concepts and motivation. There's a lot of "this character is *crazy* which is why they're doing evil things or are willing to fight to the death or etc." This is both in the forums and in published material (see: Lamashtu, Rovagug). And even if a specific mental illness is named instead of just "insanity," it's still often misunderstood and treated as a source of generic badness. And this is mostly just a "hey, here's what I'm annoyed by today" sort of thing, because if I knew how to have a productive discussion about it I might try that instead. (And I have tried, a little bit, both on the forums and in meat space, with frustrating results.) Does this bother anyone else considerably? Any ideas on how to make it better? Is this an inappropriate place for this discussion? :-P
At my table, I do the best I can to separate movie crazy from real life crazy. This is partially due to work- and players-at-the-table concerns.
For my campaign setting, there is an amazing document I'm trying to work into the game, as a specific type of cleric has issues with agreed-upon reality that often results in at least one genuine diagnosis. I'll PM it to you, I would love your thoughts.
Mecha, did you change your avatar? Looking sharp!
On the whole 'just crazy' thing? I've seen reasonable treatments (rarely) in literature and (more often) truly horrific ones.
It's on the same level as treatments of people with traumatic injuries, differently-grown body parts, individuals of any of a number of social/physical/mental backgrounds, etc.
I'm not a professional writer, but when someone plays the 'just crazy so shenanigans' card it feels cheap, over-used, and insulting. It's like someone is trying to cheat the reader of some much-needed exposition/storytelling by just going 'Oh, crazy is what crazy does' and leaving it at that.
The *scarier* writers are the ones who can write an insanity with full nuance and understanding into a given character and not only make it believable and plausible, but leave the reader wondering if they'd fall into any of a number of mental health concerns (or iterations thereof).
Or like I heard at some point... 'Crazy does not mean nonsensical nor does it mean inefficient.'
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I don't know if this is the right thread to talk about this, so I apologize if this is any sort of derail. But I also feel like starting this conversation in a different part of the forums will not be particularly fruitful, especially since I just have a vague complaint.
Something that's been bugging me lately (and has bugged me for a long while) is the flippant treatment of mental illness and "insanity" with regards to character concepts and motivation. There's a lot of "this character is *crazy* which is why they're doing evil things or are willing to fight to the death or etc." This is both in the forums and in published material (see: Lamashtu, Rovagug). And even if a specific mental illness is named instead of just "insanity," it's still often misunderstood and treated as a source of generic badness. And this is mostly just a "hey, here's what I'm annoyed by today" sort of thing, because if I knew how to have a productive discussion about it I might try that instead. (And I have tried, a little bit, both on the forums and in meat space, with frustrating results.) Does this bother anyone else considerably? Any ideas on how to make it better? Is this an inappropriate place for this discussion? :-P
Honestly, I'd bring it up in one of the main forums. That's probably a conversation that needs to be had and I bet the developers would welcome the criticism.
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Mecha, did you change your avatar? Looking sharp!
Aw shucks. I just picked it out, since I like to see what the new options are now and again. It helps that Pathfinder artists are very talented and tend toward an aesthetic I really dig.
@ Lissa: Yes, I think you're right about that. I just don't think I have quite the energy to start that kind of thread right now. I also worry that I wouldn't frame it quite right, since I'd be acting as an ally rather than someone directly affected by ableist representation, and I would have to do more research.
I did actually start a similar thread a while back that didn't get very far, if anyone's interested. It's about a year old, so I may or may not agree with everything I said in that thread back then. :P
Rovagug and the Problem of Madness
It's a remake. And I'm super conflicted there. Frankenfurters song is a product of it's time and should probably die in a fire rather than be revived. I like to see Laverne getting all kinds of work, but that feels like a step back. And she already took a step back when she explained some mysogynistic thing to her son in OItNB and when her son asked her if she really wanted to live in a world like that, she said, "God help me, I do." >_< Really problematic. She's a great representative outside of the parts she plays and I know she has to eat, but *grumbles*.
The AV Club ran an article last month on the 40th anniversary of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and whether the film has outlived its relevance/usefulness.
Aw shucks. I just picked it out, since I like to see what the new options are now and again. It helps that Pathfinder artists are very talented and tend toward an aesthetic I really dig.
They are at that, and I've found pretty much every picture I was looking for avatar-wise....
On the mental health issue: Yes, that's one of those *very good* questions.
The flipper on it would be... do people referred to as 'mad' in given scenarios and such actually view themselves as 'sane' and everyone else 'mad'?
In addition, how would one educate on such a topic, to help people learn about it more without losing the message?
Working in mental health, I would say there is "literary" madness, and mental disorders. One is not even close to the other. Then again, considering that mental disorders typically (i.e. almost always) sharply reduce the function level of the person who has it, they are a bad fit for enemies and PCs. Buford, the insane evil titan, had an insanity that made him evil. Having him have anxiety attacks instead sort of defeats that purpose.
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Working in mental health, I would say there is "literary" madness, and mental disorders. One is not even close to the other. Then again, considering that mental disorders typically (i.e. almost always) sharply reduce the function level of the person who has it, they are a bad fit for enemies and PCs. Buford, the insane evil titan, had an insanity that made him evil. Having him have anxiety attacks instead sort of defeats that purpose.
That's how I would take it too. The madness trope seems to bear little resemblance to actual mental illness.
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Meh. Parliamentary elections in Poland ended with socially conservative and economically populist party getting the largest chunk of seats. I don't expect any socially progressive legislation for the next 4 years, unless some sort of international pressure, and even then its highly unlikely. :/
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Meh. Parliamentary elections in Poland ended with socially conservative and economically populist party getting the largest chunk of seats. I don't expect any socially progressive legislation for the next 4 years, unless some sort of international pressure, and even then its highly unlikely. :/
=( I thought poland was starting to see some good progress. I'm sorry.
=( I thought poland was starting to see some good progress. I'm sorry.Meh. Parliamentary elections in Poland ended with socially conservative and economically populist party getting the largest chunk of seats. I don't expect any socially progressive legislation for the next 4 years, unless some sort of international pressure, and even then its highly unlikely. :/
Anna Grodzka did not stand for reelection. We no longer have transgendered parliament member but lots of <censored> minions of people openly disdainful of LGBTQ...
<CENSORED>! Not familiar with Polish laws but it seems there should be a way to force out of office the head of state, but with what you've said about anti-defamation laws regarding heads of state that doesn't seem likely. Grodzka getting forced out of re-election sounds really sketchy to me and makes me concerned about what kinds of things are going on in the Polish parliament that are hidden from public scrutiny.
<CENSORED>! Not familiar with Polish laws but it seems there should be a way to force out of office the head of state, but with what you've said about anti-defamation laws regarding heads of state that doesn't seem likely. Grodzka getting forced out of re-election sounds really sketchy to me and makes me concerned about what kinds of things are going on in the Polish parliament that are hidden from public scrutiny.
As far as I can tell she was "forced out". She had her own presidential election committee but she gained only 85 thousand out 100 thousand required signatures and did not stand for presidential elections earlier this year. She might decided earlier to not stand for parliamentary elections when she was standing for presidential ones. She also left her old party and did not join another party but she showed strong support for the socially progressive (and economically socialist, called communists by their conservative enemies) party.
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Hey all. I've been making a couple of new PFS characters lately, and I've finally reached the point where I feel comfortable making them all trans. Or at least, I'm more willing to fight people about my newest nonbinary character's gender (if it comes to that, which it hopefully won't) than I am to make another cis character.
I just wanted to drop in and say: hey, how are your MOGAI/LGBT characters doing? Having any fun adventures with them lately?
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I just wanted to drop in and say: hey, how are your MOGAI/LGBT characters doing? Having any fun adventures with them lately?
I don't have a clue what MOGAI stands for, but thankfully I've never personally had a bad experience playing a trans character in PFS. My MtF arcanist has had zero issues with her gender identity versus more than a few complaints in game (and one or two out of game) about her tiefling identity.
I'm also running a version of her in a RotRL campaign and having a blast. Gender has never come up, though her in-game dangerous level of whimsy, substance abuse, and 5 Wisdom has. I've probably written a good 50k words from her PoV as random in-character supplementary material to flesh her and her backstory out (including the circumstances of her transition).
Marginalised Orientations Gender Alignments and Intersex, apparently.
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It's a less direct acronym for the same thing.
I don't think I've ever played a trans character. I have a hard enough time day to day to deal with that in a character very often. When they are, it's simply a background element that doesn't ever come up really. Never had a problem playing a lesbian character but I'm super duper open about my life for obvious reasons and I live in the Seattle area so it's never been a problem. It's pretty rare we even get looks holding hands in a grocery store, the nerd kingdoms in the area have far less to say about my orientation than, say, the fact that estrogen is invading their spaces. And even that's a pretty small minority at this point.
Also, apparently, we're "in" right now; the new cool thing... So, I guess it's less likely to be a problem, though now, we're fighting for better representation.
It's a less direct acronym for the same thing.
I don't think I've ever played a trans character. I have a hard enough time day to day to deal with that in a character very often. When they are, it's simply a background element that doesn't ever come up really. Never had a problem playing a lesbian character but I'm super duper open about my life for obvious reasons and I live in the Seattle area so it's never been a problem. It's pretty rare we even get looks holding hands in a grocery store, the nerd kingdoms in the area have far less to say about my orientation than, say, the fact that estrogen is invading their spaces. And even that's a pretty small minority at this point.
Also, apparently, we're "in" right now; the new cool thing... So, I guess it's less likely to be a problem, though now, we're fighting for better representation.
I know I exhibit as a heterosexual male to the public but am openly gay. all my characters I make are either. Heterosexual males with bisexual tendencies who are generally slender rogue or Bow rangers. Or a similar class. Otherwise I tend to play heterosexual females with strong leadership roles (Paladins,Barbarians, Clerics). I live as a gay male as well and I find it less interesting to play one in the fantasy settings.
Ok, I'm back. Nothing's really changed but I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired so I figure I just have to do stuff, which includes picking up where I left off. Not that I've got all that much to say at the moment but that too will come in time.
On the current topic, I believe I've mentioned it before that I don't consider my characters' sexual or gender identity at all, really. It doesn't seem to play a part in our games. I don't know why and to be honest I don't care. Its nice that it isn't significant at all. I don't mean that as 'less than', I mean so normal that nobody bats an eye or sees reason to mention it at all. Like spoons. They never play a part in my games either. I'm pretty sure they're there though!
Probably about half of my PCs have been female, and a few of those have been bisexual or lesbian, but it very rarely comes up in play. I'm currently playing my first gay male PC, and his sexuality really hasn't come up in play either, aside from the gender of his lost love.
(On a side note-- why do so many PCs have dead parents/siblings/lovers in their backstories? I'm guilty of it too!
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Hey all. I've been making a couple of new PFS characters lately, and I've finally reached the point where I feel comfortable making them all trans. Or at least, I'm more willing to fight people about my newest nonbinary character's gender (if it comes to that, which it hopefully won't) than I am to make another cis character.
I just wanted to drop in and say: hey, how are your MOGAI/LGBT characters doing? Having any fun adventures with them lately?
The hardest one has been a challenge even for me as a player. His name is Rae Alain Paight, he identifies as male but was born otherwise to a impoverished yet noble Taldan family. He started adventuring first to learn how to possibly get himself 'right', but since entering Society missions, he's been too busy buying *essential life-saving gear* and attempting to liberate someone from captivity/storage to actually shell out the significant sum for an Elixir. He also has fears (possibly unfounded, haven't decided) that the Elixir might change other parts of him in a not-good-way mentally or emotionally.
In a home campaign, I have a Chelaxian sorcerer who in his background was stuck in a form with the wrong gender due to family maneuvering and shenanigans, and is desperately trying to find a way to 'get back'. The issue at hand for him is that the party responsible for it happening is no longer available(made for a tasty dragon snack), and he WAS attempting to lay low in a Runelords campaign. That... isn't working out so well for them.
My tengu are binary, not sure if I want to bring another non-binary in as a human/half-elf/half-orc yet.
Good luck to your brave adventurers!