*grins* Me an me crew took an a ship o' the Imperial Navy an' lived to tell the tale. Ye be not scarin me. Be that right boys!? *a large crew of pirates step up from behind, each holding a gun and a cutlass. Each pirate joining in the ever rising chous of* YAAARHRHARHARHAR!
Aye, We be sure.
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Aye, We be sure.
Ayup ... b'cher not onna ship piratey boy. Yer in backwoods cawntry now. An' with them beads in yer beard, yew kinda look lik wunna them thar hippehs. Yew ain't no hippeh, is ya?
<looks at the motely crew sidelong and notices bottles of rum>
I reckin mebbe not. Them hippehs lik herby teas, not squeezin's, iff'n yew kin call thet stuff yer drinkin' squeezin's.
Thet water yew got shore cain't hold a match t' Mammy's corn squeezin's. An yew doan wanna hold a match anywhar neert Mammy's corn squeezin's lessen y'all wanna git blowed up.
YAR! Ye be speakin' mighty strange. Even fer a landlubber. HAR! But if that be yer way to challenge me to drink some o' yer bilge water, I accept! I say we make it a wager. I wager 12 silver ingots *produces some bars of silver from his vest* I can take any grog or rum or whathave ye! What have ye to wager?
Oh, hey, man...what's the ruckus? [Eyes bulge out of head] Hillbillies and pirates! [Rubs eyes and looks again] Wowee zowee! [Looks at smoking roach] Man, this is strong shiznit.
Hey, Mr. Pirate, sir, I'll trade you a lid of the finest medicinal herb from British Columbia for a bottle of that there spiced rum. Whattaya say, man, we got a deal?
Goddang rednecks.
<spits>
Someone say vittles?
brings out platter of breaded ovoid masses
Heers sum hippeh brains deep fried in lard with corn meal breadin! I calls 'em 'Hushhippehs'.
Come an' gettit!
Yar.
Love 'n' peace be bad fer bis'nis, yar.
Yew woundn't be one-a Obediah Pierce's get from up Innsmouth way would yeh? His kin did like their piratin'. We might have blood in common. If'n yew kin call that green muck Obed has running through his veins blood.
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<walks back into the thread carrying an armload of candles, incense, chalk, unidentifiable dohickeys and whatnots, dropping the lot in the front yard>
Sumone say sumthin' 'bout callin' them Ol' Ones? Ah got th' bits an' pieces wer gonna need fer it.
<grabs a hushhippeh and gobbles it down>
mmm ... now thet's a hippeh brain.
Snuggles into a comfortable position on the shack and watches the forthcoming ritual with an amused look.
ayup.
rakkin.
Rummages through the oddments
We got us the Book O' Shaboath an' a Hand O' Glory, Lessee...Some pages from Cultes Des Ghoules, candles made outta human baby fat, a Piltdown Man skull ....
Weel allrighty! We'uns gots a party right cheer!
Ayep.
Flies away from nest to look for more twigs
*looks around at all the Rednecks* Well? What do you want?
Ghet rid of 'em darn heppies.
Circles the thread
Its when thay punish Minton fer being bad.
Bbbbbbbuuuuuuuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..........
Problem is, they's all gone down to the big city and are a-protestin building some wall on a street or sumthin'. Ain't too many of the critters tryin' to steal corn outta the back forty these days. Gonna be a lean winter lessen theys come back sos weun's kin shewt 'em.
{ghets outta fancy furriner car wif rode map} Excuse me folks, do any of you know the way to Wall Street? And do you have a decent coffee place around here... I'll even settle for that bourgeois Starbucks at this point.
Hmmm, I didn't know people could sleep standing up with their eyes open. {gently pokes Aberzombie with a stick} Huh, must be something only country folk do.
OK, I guess I'll amuse myself by wandering around and touching everybody's stuff.
{start rummaging through toolbox and the shed}