o.0
Heh heh...oh...those...uh...heh heh...weren't...for...heh heh...us...
Not for us in that sense, 8ball.
So....anyway....uh...where were we going again?
Romania!
I think we've pretty much trashed Milan. I hate to leave all these high class dames crying, but I'm done. Everybody snap their pictures of Il Duomo? Everybody? Lord Jason?
What?!?
Oh.. yeah.. sorry. I fell asleep after eating all of those Milan villagers...
I grow tired of this fare. Off to Romania, where the women are strong and the drink is stronger!
Heave!
Heave!
Don't mind if I do...
Ho!
Ho!
Leave me out of this.
Dear, when you are finished assisting the Bulmahnauts, could you hurry home? It's just so difficult to spend quality time with the Beaver without you here...
Very good. I see that my clone is operational. Now to escape in my Plymouth Fury!
Seems to me like we got lost in a storm, or something. Was that a mysterious island I saw from the crow's nest?
Oh...
That's the worst New Years' Day hangover I have ever had. Where are we?
Hey Lord Jason, a question for you. I noticed you were the author of the module Masks of the Living God. Do you have a good suggestion for what to use as a map of Tamran?
Moo Dat!!!
Guam? No way! knocks rum bottles off galley table and starts spreading out charts and weighing down the corners with a compass and other instruments.
Hmm...
What's wrong with Guam?
Well, it'd be difficult to get much further away from our destination than Guam...
We have a destination?
Where'd everybody go?
I haven't seen the Lord Jason around here for some time. Is he angry with us?
We were bound for Romania, remember?
Lord Jason has been locked in the cabin quarters, working over some tome. Terrible sounds were coming out of there the past couple of months. And smells...
Didn't you see his latest announcement pinned to the mast?
I've been up in the crow's nest, so I didn't see his note. Good to know he still loves us.
That's right, barbarians can read know! :)
They still can't spell, thow.
What the Hell is...oh. Definitely not Hell.
Someone's casting a spell?!? Where?!?
What the Hell is...oh. Definitely not Hell.
Dude, you need a number. We all have numbers here. Might I suggest...
Right when I was in the middle of breaking Abyssal skulls and taking succubuses to be raised in my personal concubinage....
Who summoned me?!
Dude, you need a number. We all have numbers here. Might I suggest...
** spoiler omitted **
Hmmmm....
Mmmmmm....succubi.
So where else other than Hell am I? What's this vessel?
This is the Corbossy - Lord Jason's ship. We sail the seven seas, pillaging random towns and cities, battling monsters, and being heroic so that people will give us gifts, ply us with booze, and offer up their women folk.
Welcome #666.
Lord Jason? On this ship? I've heard tales, but sometimes they tend to exaggerate a bit in Hell. Blame that one on Asmoedus.
Lord Jason is a great hero and all around bad ass mofo. He created us, by shedding his blood into a bottle of booze.
Lord Jason's exploits are legendary; even in Hell. Asmodeus rues the day for not having a key that could contain him as he did with Rovagug.
That is as it should be.
As it looks like I'm stuck here for an undeterminate amount of time, I would like to know what is our present course? I have an urge to trample and break things. It's in the blood.
First, you prove yourself a true Bulmahnaut by passing a battery of trials.
Trial #1: Sort the following into two lists: things that should be trampled and broken vs. things that should not be trampled and broken.
empty rum bottle
full rum bottle
empty rum barrel
full rum barrel
fine china
hot women
Lord Jason's writings
Math that attempts to impugn Lord Jason's writings
costume jewelry
real jewelry
That appears to be a trick question. Did Asmodeus put you up to this? When I've emptied a bottle of rum, it's hard to make the distinction. In Hell, I'm a paragon barbarian on my down time.
I don't see dull china and ugly women listed. Is there not a distinction? I smell deceit. Reminds me of home.
No deceit, just a simple test.
things that should be trampled and broken
- fine china
Math that attempts to impugn Lord Jason's writings
costume jewelry
real jewelry
empty rum bottle
full rum bottle
empty rum barrel
full rum barrel
things that should not be trampled and broken
- hot women
Lord Jason's writings
empty rum bottle
full rum bottle
empty rum barrel
full rum barrel
Ah, good reasoning. Still, can't give you credit for real jewelry. It can be hocked for good rum and used to obtain hot women.