GLAMOUR SCRUTINIZER
Aura ; CL 3rd
Slot –; Weight 1 lb.; Price 2,400gp
DESCRIPTION
This aged, red velvet bag, embroidered with fine gold thread, contains sixteen grey stones, each inscribed with a unique rune. Once per day, an arcane/divine caster may use the stones in the following manner. The caster must know what spells he plans to prepare for the day, but not actual be studying or praying yet. Concentrating deeply, he closes his eyes, reaches into the bag, pulls out a random handful of stones (the number will “feel” right when he has them in his hand) and casts them on the ground before him.
If the spells planned are incorrect, the runes will give cryptic riddles for the caster to solve, in order to come up with the right spells. This will take a minimum of one hour if an INT roll is successfully made, DC 25. If this roll fails, add the number missed to one for the number of hours spent unraveling the conundrums.
If the spells planned are correct for the day, the stones will fall into the form of a smiling face on the ground before him.
CONSTRUCTION
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, augery, prestidigitation; Cost 1,200gp
And I'm finding it a bit disturbing that I had a far easier time coming up with a gag item that fit 200 words so quickly ;p
So, one of my gaming buddies saw this 'Couch of Lifestealing' on Craigslist, who ever the seller is could've been a contender for the wonderous items round, I've pasted it below for all to enjoy.
Couch of Life Stealing
Climate/Terrain: Dank Basement Lair
Frequency: Common
Organization: Solitary/Small Matched Sets
Activity Cycle: Any
Diet: Weary Role-Players, Late-night Party Crashers, Unsuspecting Pet Dogs
Intelligence: Nil
Treasure: Minimal Copper and/or Silver Pieces, Occasional Collectible Figurines
Alignment: Chaotic Evil
Unmolested and in its natural state, the Couch of Life-Stealing may subsist for its entire life cycle on little more than air and dust particles. When encountered by unwary adventurers, however, it can be a challenging adversary. Faced with the prospect of a great meal, it will invite weary adventurers to lay upon its "cushions," whereupon it will employ a stealth attack, sucking 1d8 HP per round from unlucky victims. Once hit, victims will also automatically be struck down by Couch's powerful "Sleep" spell. If he fails his CON save, the victim will remain under the spell's power for up to 8 hours, and his midsection will sink deeply into the bowels of Couch.
Curiously, though in the midst of attack from the Couch of Life-Stealing the adventurer may experience an almost deathlike paralysis, following a full 8 hour attack the victim will often return to full HP and feel completely refreshed. This makes the Couch of Life-Stealing both a bane of and a boon to adventurers, depending upon their immediate circumstances.
This particular specimen of the Couch of Life-Stealing has lived in peace with its local adventurers for years, and in spite of repeated regular encounters has killed no adventurers yet. This makes it rare among Couches of Life-Stealing, and therefore a valuable steal at a total cost of 0 cp.