Vice President HD's page

And, it's been a while, anyone I need to take on a hunting trip?

Who wants to go hunting?

I was the first to comment on You Tube. That was hilarious!

And, yeah, what The Pres said.

Vice President HD wrote:

Dick Cheney wrote:

Vice President HD wrote:

Um, you do know that the VP traditionally gets dibs on a vacated office, right?

And, on an unrelated note, have you ever been deer hunting in South Texas? I have a lease. :-)

This is clearly a trademark violation. You will be getting a cease and desist order from my attorney.

Pfft. I don't argue with my clones. Shouldn't you be at the Wal*Mart opening in Sheboygan eating babies?

FIFY.

Loser.

The masses weren't to know, fool!

Meathead.

Vice President HD wrote:

Um, you do know that the VP traditionally gets dibs on a vacated office, right?

And, on an unrelated note, have you ever been deer hunting in South Texas? I have a lease. :-)

This is clearly a trademark violation. You will be getting a cease and desist order from my attorney.

Pfft. I don't argue with my clones. Shouldn't you be at the Wal*Mart opening in Sheboygan kissing babies?

Oh, well, there's always 2016.

*picks up phone*

"Yeah, Chapo? Um, the Pres is in a mood again, we're going to need to make it snow...Uh huh...uh huh...yeah, ok. Also, I need you to use the delivery girls from Papa Gallos..yeah, BttH again, you know how he is. And no tobacco allergies, he got a fresh shipment of Cubans..."

Um, you do know that the VP traditionally gets dibs on a vacated office, right?

And, on an unrelated note, have you ever been deer hunting in South Texas? I have a lease. :-)

Folks in light of this being an election year, and it promises to be a heated one I would like to announce that I, your Lord President will be running for re-election this year! I hope you will remember my contributions to our cause of spite and chaos in the coming days, and I look forward to meeting my opponent in the arena of political bloodshed.

So, who would challenge the LPM for the title of Lord President of FAWTL?

Well, you know...

And, Happy New Year FAWTLY!

Here's to another year of me being the power behind the throne!

Vice President HD wrote:

Funny, I thought my job was to be the power behind the throne and shoot people who annoy me after inviting them to go "hunting".

No such luck. Your Vice President position is a Dan Quayle/Joe Biden position, not a Darth Cheney type position.

Mairkurion is the true power behind the throne, largely through his use of plant-based dopplegangers.

But I can spell "potato" and know what the duties of the Vice President are according to the Constitution. And I've never plagiarized. And I don't care about Murphy Brown.

But I do like shooting people on hunting trips.

:/

Vice President HD wrote:

Sebastian wrote:

P.S. I call dibs on being the Jr. Lord President of this new territory.

You steppin' on my toes, son?

No sir, Mr. Vice President, Jr. Lord President is an entirely different position. Your job entails making incorrect statements and other political gaffes. I'm in charge of sex scandals and bribe taking.

Which reminds me, that scar looks hot. And you owe me $20.

Funny, I thought my job was to be the power behind the throne and shoot people who annoy me after inviting them to go "hunting".

P.S. I call dibs on being the Jr. Lord President of this new territory.

You steppin' on my toes, son?

Ok, still catching up posts once again... until then, is this everyone?

Denziens of FaWTL, capital city of Paizonia
Original Bakers' Dozen + Two:
Moorluck: Lord President Drow (Extra-Chaotic template) Pimp / Slayer PrC (favored enemies: Vermin +4, Humanoids [Stupid] +8)
Solnes: First Lady Half-Elf Bard - Her Majesty of Education, Keeper of the Sacred BttH (major artifacts)
Aberzombie: Zombie Human Sorcerer (Undead bloodline) - Royal Brewer
Celestial Healer: Aasimaar ______________? - "Pizza Rolls" Taster for the Crown, Head of Travel & Foreign Relations
Crimson Jester: Fey (didn't specify what kind) Rogue
Emperor7/Jack Hammer: Treant Druid / escaped Numerian Construct
Flash ("Ah-ah!"): Elf Rogue / Inquisitor (Unsleeping template) - Knight Champion of Lady Solnes
Heathensson: Former woodsman? ("Where wolf? There wolf!" template) - possessed by ghost of insane leprechaun miner
Lynora: Elf Wizard (CON dumpstat) - High Mistress of the Dungeons of Delight
Mairkurion: Half-Elf Oracle or Cleric of Erastil - High Sage and Lorekeeper to the Crown
Patrick: Awakened Monkey Ranger ("Deadly Flinger of Even Deadlier Poo") - Castle Gardener, successor to Mr. Boothby
Sharoth: Silver Dragon - Guardian of the Tildes, Explosive Runes, Obscure Tomes, Precious Miniatures, and shiny stuff
Taig: Awakened Dire Badger Mandalorian Monk - (Hey) Abbot of the Order of the Sandy Pecan, expert hunter and tanner of Minature Not-So-Dire Bears
Urizen: Drow Bard / Rogue / Scoundrel PrC (Ravioli-Addicted template) - Head of Counter-Intelligence and Royal Expert in Heavy Metals
Woody: Frost Dwarf Fighter / Barbarian

Other Notorious Characters of the Realm:
Bitter Thorn: Dwarf Rogue / Ranger - secret anarchist
Callous Jack: escaped Numerian...

I am kinda the vice president and all...

I'd also like to, as a point of order, remind the room I had four posts on the first page of the original FAWTL thread...

;-)

Lord President Moorluck wrote:

Senator wrote:

...and solitaire's the only game in toooown!

And every road that takes him,

takes him dooooown!

And by himself it's easy to pretend,

*sniff* he'll never.....loooove agaaaaain!

*choke**sniff*

Oh sorry didn't see you there.

G'nite.

- Senator

I don't recall allowing a Senate to be formed. Some one summon Taig to put a stop to that nonsense.

Our power is vested in us by the people of Off-Topica.

Just don't forget who casts the deciding vote if y'all tie.

And BTW Lindisty, welcome, and if you ever want to partake in any mindless debauchery, come over to FAWTLY Towers. Just remember the rules, No Religion, and No Politics. :)

Well, no real politics...

President Eden wrote:

I am not hooked on Fallout 3.

Your President:
John Henry Eden

There is room for only one President here. And that would be the one who is the original, the icon, the tower of power! The one who makes all the girls hollar like Jerry Clower! Wooooooooooo!

In other words, Me. ;)

Hunting, anyone?

Reading over the posts I missed:

Roger Ebert has man boobs, so everything he types on a forum comes with boobs.

Bbq is best from the tailgate. In the parking lot. Eaten off off boobies.

Lent. I'm there. fish sticks and tater tots? Cool.

:)

I would like to congratulate my fellow "Forums are way too long!!!" compatriots. Without you, we would never have been able to bring Paizo

I will now smurf this post.

Vice President HD wrote:

Lord Secretary War-Bucks wrote:

I need help, I am finding out that I think like Moorluck. Could this escalate, do I need a doctor?

Take to of these here 12 gauge pills I have at the end of this here "tubular medicine delivery apparatus". That'll cure you...

are you sure, I want a second oppinion. but if the outcome looks bleak we could go hunting lol :)

I'll give you a second opinion. Your war plan is like old people having sex. Slow and sloppy...

I need help, I am finding out that I think like Moorluck. Could this escalate, do I need a doctor?

Take to of these here 12 gauge pills I have at the end of this here "tubular medicine delivery apparatus". That'll cure you...

{looks at holey apparition, decides she'll have that drink after all} <gulp> Ah... ooo, that wine went right to my head... {passes out}

Cla-clack

This is for Valerie Harper!

Blam!!!

Vice President HD wrote:

dang hippeh wrote:

Somebody told me there would be a drum circle in this thread. Is that true?

I hope this thread is nicer than the "what has Paizo done for you" thread. They killed me over there.

*Aims shotgun loaded with patchouli seeking 00 buckshot*

PULL!!!!!

If you're anything like that Cheney guy, the safest place I could be is right in front of you.

Cheney doesn't have Patchouli seeking buck shot, son...

Somebody told me there would be a drum circle in this thread. Is that true?

I hope this thread is nicer than the "what has Paizo done for you" thread. They killed me over there.

*Aims shotgun loaded with patchouli seeking 00 buckshot*

PULL!!!!!

Vice President HD wrote:

lynora wrote:

*thought suddenly dawns on the intern*

Hey! The first pet is a rust monster!

.....and I just got given a chainmail uniform.

Dammit Moorluck! I TOLD you to lobotomize them when you hired them!!!!

But, no, you said, we gotta let them THINK, you said...

Yeah but I love that look of sudden realization. It's one of those simple pleasures in life that makes it all worth it. :)

So you up for shooting some captured hobgobs?

As long as they ain't "civilized". I'd hate to lose my paladin powers.

*thought suddenly dawns on the intern*

Hey! The first pet is a rust monster!

.....and I just got given a chainmail uniform.

Dammit Moorluck! I TOLD you to lobotomize them when you hired them!!!!

But, no, you said, we gotta let them THINK, you said...

Vice President HD wrote:

dang hippeh wrote:

Vice President HD wrote:

dang hippeh wrote:

I'm so high right now.

Wanna go huntin'?

You smell like my grandpa.

Your grandpa smells like hookers, 25 year old Scotch and win?

No. Like Preparation H, stale aftershave, and pee.

Well, then he doesn't smell like me, ya dang hippeh!

I have to get Moorluck to sign another one of those executive order thingies. Anyone who smells like pot and patchouli must be shot on sight!

Vice President HD wrote:

dang hippeh wrote:

I'm so high right now.

Wanna go huntin'?

You smell like my grandpa.

Your grandpa smells like hookers, 25 year old Scotch and win?

I'm so high right now.

Wanna go huntin'?

Huh, OTD when did this happen? Who messed with my hookers and blow?

Have you poked around the OTD boards? WAY more hookers and blow here than in those stuffy "Website Feedback" threads!

WOOHOO!!!!

*shoots a Barrett 82 off into the air*

Vice President HD wrote:

Dick Cheney wrote:

Once this thread moved to Off-Topic, all the freaks came out.

Boy, you know what the penalty for impersonating me is?

Hmmm, I haven't gone on a hunting trip in a while...

I'll be the targeted quail for you to be *hunting*

Son, you're too darned valuable to go hunting with me. We need you to get up to Quebec and turn it into a paved parking lot while you're looking for those WMDs that Teter fella from the CIA gave us the tip on...

Once this thread moved to Off-Topic, all the freaks came out.

Boy, you know what the penalty for impersonating me is?

Hmmm, I haven't gone on a hunting trip in a while...

Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

{gates in, with basket of egg-free chocolate-chip muffins} Hello, Welcome to the OTD Section. I'm glad you all moved into the neighborhood; we'll be able to just pop in all the time. BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!

Lord Secretary of Kicking A** wrote:

Hey! I'm the lord secretary of kicking a**, not the lord secretary of grammar!

Edit: Speaking of which, it's high time we get one of those.

Ooo, hello! I'd be great for that... I've even got a sexy librarian outfit for it.

You'll have to have an...interview...with President Moorluck. Bring the librarian outfit.

Look, bub, I hire the sexy librarians around here. President Moorluck is too busy for all that...

He had better be finalizing that new Colombian/Peruvian Free Trade agreement, I'm getting sleepy...

Gark the Goblin wrote:

Lord Secretary of Kicking A** wrote:

Gark the Goblin wrote:

Vice President HD wrote:

Gary Teter wrote:

Sorry, moving threads twice causes inconvenient rips in space-time. I think you'll learn to like it here, really I do.

Friggin' CIA operatives making moves without briefing the Lord Ministers. Next thing you know, they'll be telling us Quebec has WMDs and stuff...

So this "Gary Teter" is really a pseudonym? I could understand that... it's probably a play on "Gray Tweeter" or something.

It's an acronym. He's really Ty Garrett. The truth is out, you fiend!

That's not an acronym. That's an anagram.

Hey! I'm the lord secretary of kicking a**, not the lord secretary of grammar!

Edit: Speaking of which, it's high time we get one of those.

I'd nominate the Stuffy Grammarian, but that whole cross dressing vibe weirds me out sometimes...

Sorry, moving threads twice causes inconvenient rips in space-time. I think you'll learn to like it here, really I do.

Friggin' CIA operatives making moves without briefing the Lord Ministers. Next thing you know, they'll be telling us Quebec has WMDs and stuff...

Hmmm, gotta get the Marines to suppress the rabble. All this noise is killing intern snuggle hour...

flash_cxxi wrote:

Lord President Moorluck wrote:

De-briefed

Ha Ha Ha... I knew there was a reason you were the President!

Yes their is my fine Aussie friend... I'm just not sure what it is. How the 7734 did I get to be in charge anyway? I mean was there NO other canedate running?

You know how I am, I prefer to run things from behind the scenes. You're a useful figurehead. Keep it up, and I won't have to replace you in four years.

;)

David Fryer wrote:

I here our illustrious leader prefers cheerleaders.

Cheerleaders... Schoolgirls.... I still don't get to touch. ;)

Neither do I. We should pass one of those "executive order" thingies...

Welcome aboard, Lynora. Your first order of business? Issue cheerleader outfits to the White House tour guides!

Vice President HD wrote:

Fraking tea sippin' Brits. I demand we invade and force them to enjoy coffee!

Hey... I'm Australian! I'd help ya invade the Brits! :)

Although in saying that I do enjoy a spot of tea...

Eh, Aussies are just Brits the Brits didn't want around, all being in debt and criminalizin' and stuff...

Hmmm, Aussie chicks are hot, though, and we're short on interns...

I'm afraid I have to side with the Zombieman in this argument... I can't stand the taste of coffee!

I used to get my caffeine fix from 2-3 litres of Coke a day (and my wife even made me switch to Zero too), but after I had all 4 wisdom teeth out a couple of years ago, I couldn't drink it for a couple of weeks as they didn't heal properly. Imanaged to get through the withdrawal symptoms with painkillers and sleep, so I stayed off it after my gums were healed.

Fraking tea sippin' Brits. I demand we invade and force them to enjoy coffee!

Vice President HD wrote:

I'll get a Texas Ranger up there post haste. He'll handle it. Old friend of mine, goes by "Walker"...

OOO.. I like those guys, hmmm, maybe I should my seat of power. what do you guys think, Seattle or Houston?

Seattle:

Pros: Paizo is there. Good seafood. Close to Vancouver.

Cons: Constant overcast and drizzle, over roasted coffee, politics that would drive a nice South Carolina boy nuts. People drive like idiots.

Houston:

Pros: Best economy of any major city in US right now. Hottest women anywhere in the US. I live here. Great weather for nine months. Hot women in bikinis almost year round. Located in the best state in the Union. Edit: Forgot to add - AWESOME topless bars.

Cons: Like living in a furnace from the end of May until the middle of September. People drive like idiots. Hurricanes.

Your call.

That thread jumped the shark on the first post...

I'll get a Texas Ranger up there post haste. He'll handle it. Old friend of mine, goes by "Walker"...

...your alias is considering a coup in that thread...

Lord Secretary of Kicking A** wrote:

Bombers loaded with "nucular"-option Maximized Meteor Swarm bombs ready to give the Poodles something to think about!

...you have my permission to blow those little mutts back to the days of 1e!...

*Locks and loads*

Hmmm, the top spot is looking good, might need a promotion...

*dissing 1e, huh?*

Gets out the trusty Remington, Betsy...

"Reporting for 'reeducation' duties!"

Announcing the 52cnd state of the Union.... Iscoldup'er, formally known as Canada, since I am only appointing Paizonians to goverment ranks I need a Lord Regent to govern the new state. Any suggestions?

We're going to have to open reeducation camps. Those Ex-Canadians have some crazy ideas...

What should the wealth's domain name be (thinking lord Rich uncle moneybags, or Lord Scorge McDuck) any help

Daddy Warbucks. Dude's got "War" in his name. Make our enemies think they're living a "hark knock life"!

Mwahahahahhaha!!!!!!

Vice President HD wrote:

Woodraven wrote:

Vice President HD wrote:

Woodraven wrote:

I nominate Sebastion as Chief Justice.

I second this motion, and change the title to "Most High Judicial Rat Bastard"!

I second the motion to rename the title.

Hey VP HD lets go gets those hookers and blow now.

Is your passport up to date? I see a "fact finding mission" to Mexico coming on!

Mexico? Oh you must mean Southern Texas. I invaded it last night, no passport needed to travel to the 51st state. :)

Good, that durned Bush kid made a passport necessary to get back in last year!

Vice President HD wrote:

Woodraven wrote:

I nominate Sebastion as Chief Justice.

I second this motion, and change the title to "Most High Judicial Rat Bastard"!

I second the motion to rename the title.

Hey VP HD lets go gets those hookers and blow now.

Is your passport up to date? I see a "fact finding mission" to Mexico coming on!

Just remember, when you go looking for your hookers and blow, you must first ask yourself, "Do I want artificial hookers and blow?" If your answer is no, then Welcome to the Domain of Nature. Requisition forms are kept with my front office manager, Miss Dryad, who may be reached through my front office greeter, Miss Nereid. Yeah, I get an office up and running fast, Lord President.

Who will head the Domain of Death (Lord High Executioner)?

Always go natural. No synthetic blow or hookers. Allergic to silicone, after all...

Lord High Executioner? I could pull double duty there, I have a deer lease in Texas...