The Tuesday Monster's page

Wheeeeee!!!! I'm flying!!!

Me catch you!!! Me catch you!!! *trips and falls down the stairs* *breaks neck*

Hey! Who want to see me juggle chainsaws?

Me no like humping.

*blows party whistle* Happy New Year, everybody!!! *accidentally swallows whistle and begins choking* *dies*

I know the calendar says Tuesday, but it sure does still feel like Monday.

?????????

Me got whiskey to give to you, CDP! *Runs with a bottle in his hand and trips* *Bottle breaks and impales himself on the glass*

Whoa, Tuedsay Monster, thanks! Why are you being so nice? Is it my birthday?

No. Me feeling generous that's all.*walks forward and trips on one of the shovels* *Falls to the ground and decapitates himself on another shovel*

Damn it, where is my shovel?!? I need my mid-afternoon snack!

*Hugs Rusty* *gives Rusty ten shovels*

I know PCR!

<Jumps on TuMo's chest>

*a squeaky toy comes flying out his throat* *his color returns* Me alive! Ooh, me have new best friend! *Hugs Rusty* Me will luv and squeeze him and call him George!

{reads packaging fineprint:} "ACME Squeaky Toys may contain small parts, lead paint, asbestos, urate crystals, and recycled Weekly World News. Do not allow near children or Id monsters 3 years of age or under as it constitutes a possible choking hazard."

Hmmm, yeah, I'm sure he'll be fine... TuMo must be over 3 years old.

*Points to throat and is turning blue* Me ......can't........breathe... *plops dead*

hands TuMo some squeaky toys instead

Here, juggle these.

Thanks! Me have fun!

Hey guys! Who want to see me juggle these knives?

Does this mean we can hump?

*humps TuMo*

Me no like humping. Me gotta go now. Bye! *Walks outside* *trips on a waterhose and accidentally impales himself on the hedge cutters*

I only lie to frenchies TuMo. And you're not a frenchie.

Besides, MoMo has admitted he's evil, and everybody knows evil people never tell the truth.

That true. Plus, you poodles don't call me stupid like MoMo does. Me not hurt poodles anymore. Me won't let MoMo boss me around anymore either. Shove it MoMo!

Actually, TuMo, MoMo tried to eat you, but I used the law against him and he let you go.

Huh?

*Tuesday's energy is released and the Tuesday Monster is reformed* What happened?

Me kill Poodles! Wait a minute. Me feel pain! AAAAAHHHHHH!*suddenly, a bright light bursts from TuMo and he is reduced to ash.*

The Monday Monster wrote:

Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:

MoMo! MoMo! Where for art thou, MoMo?

It's a Tuesday. I'm in the Abyss. Where the *&^% do you think I am? Hawaii?

Ooooh, MoMo 5-0... "Book 'em, TuMo."

Me would love to be on TV! *sigh* Me gotta go take this dynamite back because these stupid Poodles got it wet. *Takes it down the road* *all of a sudden a loud noise occurs and a mushroom cloud forms in the distance*

*From the Abyss* Yeah, a half-wit playing with dynamite. I can't see anything going wrong here. *rolls eyes*

What you say?

*starts planting dynamite around the Poodle clubhouse* Me like things that go boom!

Help! Me stuck in door! Help!

*loses glasses* Me can't see. *Flies outside into the power line* *A "eat at Joe's" sign briefly displays across his body* *Falls to the ground fried*

The Tuesday Monster wrote:

Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:

Animal abuse! Animal abuse! Bad old TuMo keeps brutalizing these poor flying rodents!

Me not hurt flying rodents! Me not even see flying rodents. *Knocks CDP in the head again*

Abracadabra! {watches TuMo turn into a small winged rodent with glasses and a stovepipe hat}

*turns into bat* Ooh, me can fly. *Begins flying and dive bombing Miss Kitty and the Poodles*

Animal abuse! Animal abuse! Bad old TuMo keeps brutalizing these poor flying rodents!

Me not hurt flying rodents! Me not even see flying rodents. *Knocks CDP in the head again*

The Tuesday Monster wrote:

Yes master! *Whacks CDP with a bat* Me kill all the Poodles!

Aww. Is the bat a gift for me?

Sure. Here you go. *Whacks Snarky with bat*

Yes master! *Whacks CDP with a bat* Me kill all the Poodles!

sigh

Sorry TuMo, but...it's just not the same.

Ok. Me just hit you then! *Hits CDP with a bat* That better?

*Punts CDP* This fun!

The Tuesday Monster wrote:

Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:

The Tuesday Monster wrote:

*chases CDP with bat in hand*

Hey! Stop waving that thing around! Don't you know bats can carry rabies?!?

Huh? Rabies? What that?

It's...um...some special seasoning that makes things taste awesome! You should try it.

Really? It sound good. Me eat bat to find out. *Starts eating bat* Mmmm, this good! *gets piece of wood stuck in throat and chokes to death*

The Tuesday Monster wrote:

*chases CDP with bat in hand*

Hey! Stop waving that thing around! Don't you know bats can carry rabies?!?

Huh? Rabies? What that?

Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:

The Monday Monster wrote:

You don't need a driver's license to fly! *Punt!*

Soooo...you want to give licenses to flies now? Damn, MoMo, you're weird.

*from the Abyss* Enough! Lackey, kill this imbecile!

Yes master. Me luv killing Poodles! *chases CDP with bat in hand*

The Monday Monster wrote:

*From the Abyss* That's right Tuesday Monster. Get them for what they did to me, especially the one called Snarky!

That's not what I meant you *&^%$#$! Kill them all Tuesday Monster!!!!

Me will do! *Runs and slips on another CDP landmine and impales himself on a knife he was carrying*

Hey! Isn't TuMo supposed to be trying to act all scary today? WTF? I'm gonna have to report him for slacking off.

Me hate you. Me will hurt you. *takes bat and whacks CDP in the head.*

drops landmines

*slips on one landmine and goes headfirst into another* Me hate you stupid Poodles!

waits patiently for TuMo to show up and beat the crap out of him

*Runs after CDP with a baseball bat* Me kill Poodles.

*humps the Uzi*

*Snarky's humping causes the Uzi to be turned towards TuMo himself* *accidentally shoots himself* *plops dead on the spotty carpet*

Die poodles, die! Me hate Poodles! *Comes in with an Uzi shooting up the place*

The Monday Monster wrote:

Llama Prophet wrote:

Is this how time normally passes... really slowly... in the right order?

Hit that TuMo my loyal minion!

FIFY

Don't mind if I do.

humps TuMo

Get off me! *rolls around trying to dislodge the Poodles*

Me love batting Poodles! *Knocks Llama Prophet across the room*

Some of us like it ruff.

Me show you rough. *chases CDP with a bat*

The Tuesday Monster wrote:

*sporting a club* Me wipe out out Poodles for being mean to me.

No no. You've got it wrong. He didn't say "wield a club," he said "take them out to a club and let them hump you on the dancefloor." Easy mistake.

Really?

*sporting a club* Me wipe out out Poodles for being mean to me.

Me not like you mean Poodles. Me go elsewhere for fun.

Oh noes! Not.....gasp....the TuMo!!!!!!

AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love Poodles! *Picks up CDP* Just what I always wanted. My own little furry Poodle. I will name him George, and I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him...

You go to hell Tuesday! You go to hell and you die!!!

*Through CDP's heavily delusional and paranoid mind a new monster is formed* .....I.......live......