The Dude Lebowski's page

Too late! He's already signed with a big agency, sold the book, sold the movie rights, dated Taylor Swift, broke up with Taylor Swift, had Taylor Swift write a concept album about him, and squandered his fortune on an enormous mansion and enough Red Bull to necessitate a visit from paramedics and a 28-day stint in a Malibu rehab facility, from which he escaped on days 3, 4, 6, and for good on day 12. Monkey Santa moves fast.

A little bit like the Warren Zevon song...

I am now imagining a buddy road trip movie like Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas except with Monkey Santa and Bojack Horseman (in his prime) as the protagonists.

captain yesterday wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

she was trying to be efficient. I would have gotten her one of those bodysuits from Dune.

No, I hated Dune.

One of the worst movies ever made, slightly above George of the Jungle 2 but below the first George of the Jungle.

Wooow never heard of anyone hating dune before.

David Lynch's Dune is best appreciated after snorting a couple lines of Jodorowsky with chaser big bong hit of Zardoz, man.

*wanders off muttering about mammoth hunting and the inability to find decent sarsparilla*

You can't find decent sarsaparilla anymore, 'cause The Man says the safrole in the sassafras root will give you cancer. Just like listening to The Eagles will.

David knott 242 wrote:

So how old is Ezren now? He looks old enough to be my father, but the last age I saw given for him makes him nearly young enough to be my son.

Any story involving Ezren starts with him at 52 years old.

The iconics exist outside the normal timeline progression, otherwise we'd have to eventually make all their pregens with less-than-ideal age penalties and illustrations with walkers and gray hair.

So at the start of the comics timeline, Ezren is 52. At the start of the audio dramas, he's 52. Whenever we need him for something, he's 52.

So he'll always be perpetually griping "I'm getting too old for this sh!t!" without actually reaching "I am definitely too old for this sh!t!"

That's a bummer, man. He really tied the room together.

I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in.

Yeah, but Walter...

I doesn't matter if you stay at the Hotel Cosmofornia or Fawtly Towers, ♫♪ you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave. ♫♪

{punts Hunt} I blame Cosmo for the Eagles and gremlins, man.

I think its called the suck effect when you think too much about Don Henley's music. Sucks reason right out of your head.

{nods, slides Orville a white Russian}

What happens to the Eagles, can you really care for that many eagles...

I hate the f!cking Eagles, man.

So I was on the boat trying to kill the dude for the Dark Brotherhood, but I accidentally tuned into a werewolf.

Eating his heart before howling at the moon counts as stealth, right?

I accidentally tuned into a Wolfman one night, man, but all he did was play rock music.

I hate the f@&%in' Eagles, man.

Damn. Lemmy and Bowie sure are building an eclectic band in Heaven. R.I.P. Mr. Frey.

Savith wrote:

Oh! I know where you can get a head *mutter*of the Judgement line*mutter*! Right through this portal!

You want a head? I can get you a head, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me.

Yeah, but Walter...

{sings:}
Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
"Relax," said the night man,
"We are programmed to receive.
You can check-out any time you like,
But you can never leave!"

There's a hole in the world....

Jeebus, man, can you change the station? I've had a rough night, and I hate the f@*#ing Eagles, man.

Nah man, I'm sure the Earth will be happy with Plastic inheriting it.

Agreed. I had a rough night and I hate the f~*+in' Eagles, man!

And for the marijuana enthusiasts, Happy 4:20 Day, man!

I believe I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in.

Scholz Malt Liquor is banned because that isn't spaghetti!

18" Stonehenge Prop

{sings:} "Welcome back my friends to the thread that never ends
We're so glad you could attend
Come inside! Come inside!"

You see, zombies actually can't use Doors.

That's just a misconception, man. Yeah, they were a little thrown at first because The Doors had no bass guitar and such a radical sound, but they really started clicking with the Lizard King's vibe by the time The Soft Parade came out.

Darksmokepuncher is banned for turning down some premo Pineapple Express, man.

Random Hippie is banned, because you can be mellow when you're dead.

Megan's computer: "Hotel California"

...ugh

"Man, come on, I had a rough night, and I hate The F'king Eagles, man." (NSFW language)

No, Darth, this Leafar is a nihilist; there's nothing to be afraid of.

Also, he likes the Eagles, man.

"...Daemons! F**k me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of Abyssal qlippothism, Dude, at least it's an ethos." - Walter Sobchak, paladin

*pees on the carpet*

Dude, not cool. Are you a nihilist?

Garydee wrote:

Crimson Jester wrote:

Did Cheney? I mean he has to have received some sort of shotgun training somewhere. Didn't he?

Actually Cheney was studying the force at the time of the Vietnam War. As you know he later became Darth Vader.

But how did he become the Penguin?

Wait, I thought McCain was the Penguin?

CourtFool wrote:

Oh I hate that! Then you have to drag your butt on the carpet to get it all off and someone always yells at you.

If you don't want me draggin my butt, come over and wipe it for me!

Exactly right! Pfft! Stupid humans.

Hey, dudes! That's my rug!!!

Buffalo.

Buffalo are peeping in your window?! {takes another hit} That's pretty F'ed up.

He fell faster than his presidential campaign...

Thanks barkeep, funky winged guy... *I wonder if he poses for van art?* I gotta go. Time to meet Donny and Walter for bowling. {zips up bowling bag, heads for the door}

<The pieces of the poodle head thaw, and each sprouts a set of spider legs. The pieces crawl towards each other.>

Hiss! Hiss! Hiss! Hiss! Hiss! Hiss! Hiss! Hiss! Hiss!

<The poodle-head slaad thing reforms completely, and it sprays twin streams of acid at random patrons in the thread.>

HISS!!!

<It then scuttles out of the thread.>

Whoa, I think I'm having some weird Cohen Bros flashback.

Here little guy, have a White Russian. It was recommended by The Dude over at the end of the bar.

Hey buddy, a weird frozen spider-poodle head thingie just appeared in the ice machine behind you.

Oh, could I get another White Russian... with no ice please.

2

Kobold Cleaveer, you have been 'duded' as ornery.

{sips White Russian} Congrats KC! I didn't know they Dude-d dudes... must be like a knighthood or something.

Date when dude will be released: When you've thought long and hard about what you've done.

Hey man, don't put me in the pokey -- I didn't do anything wrong. I'm only here 'cause these nihlist poodles broke in and peed on my rug.