HAR! HAR!! Indeed! Semolina Pilchard climbin' up vuh Eiffel Tower, an' what's worth....
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Hemoglobins collywaddle penny whistles all vuh way, bro!!! ..... Er.... That is, me too. Fifty gold shillings on The Lusty Fools givin' an extra a~%~$+!~ to vis 'ere 'ill giant!
Kibble bitty mackerel grommets prickly widdershins! Har! Har! Har! Huh? Oh, vat is, you got vuh right 'o vat, mate!
Rynjin escarpment basilica portcullis moats yer logic, ID.... Vat is tuh say, 'e seems tuh fink pre-buffin' is still a pretty bloody good idear before ya go exchangin' fisticuffs as it were wif Great Old Ones....
Collywattles hootenanny pollywog's away.... Er, vat is, I mean ter say, yarp!
HRRMMM.... HUMMMM.... Chicken gizzards pudding twaddle judiciary muggings.... Well.... Alright, ven.... Four gold pieces says yer wrong, mate.... Vuh Fierce Ones ain't lost a fight yet, as I recall.... I ain't daft enough tuh bet 'gainst 'em now, eever, mate....
The Babbler stuffs popcorn into several of its mouths with slimy pseudopods.... Filibuster pinwheels sully right collywattles.... Vat is, I ain't seen a battle vis epic since vuh Great Battle o' vuh Maiden's Tower, where we almost bested vuh Fierce Ones back in vuh day.... 'member vat, ID? Vat was bloody good fun, it was.... 'til we got killed an' wot....
Oh, so fiddle monkey burger gambles pickle turnips? Er, vat is, so, vem Godzilla movies was based on historical fact?
Aye! Proper pudding gophers chimney sweeps! Er, vat is, I rather fancy ol' King Kong.... If Godzilla is real, does vat mean King Kong is real too, ID?
Ribbity bibbity bam!!! Scribbity scrubbity scram!!!
Five gibbering mouthers squirm and jabber gibberish in the audience....
Snuggle Colby button stickers!.... Er, that is.... Now, vis 'ere's a bloody good show, eh, ID? Har-har!
Har! Har! Very manly scream, indeed, ID! Har! Har! Har! Sounds a bit like Initiative Monkey when he gets all excited 'bout a battle.... Or like a wee lass what's seen the bogey-man! Har! Har! Har!
Ye can hardly blame 'em for that.... After all, we wasn't invitin' 'em for tea back in our keep.... You was aimin' to devour their intellects, an' I was gonna eat their bodies, remember....
Nar, but unlike the likes 'o you, ID, I ain't one to hold grudges.... And I get a bit caught up in the story, an' whatnot.... Don't you want the heroes to win, ID?
Nibblets sparkle me poodle fuzz cuddle burgers! Er, that is, look out, Fierce Ones! Looks like one o' them spiky devils is about, it does!
Crusty Mustard just sounds gross by itself, mate.... Ye got to have VUH in vere, mate, I'm tellin' ya....
Yar, it does 'ave a nice ring to it, don't it? But I rather fancy VUH Crusty Mustard, ya dig?..... Like VUH Who, or VUH Beatles, ya know? Instead of like, just, Crusty Mustard?
Crusty Mustard? Now 'e sounds like me, 'e does....
@ hell hound getting run over: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!! Priceless!!
Ah, quit yer whinging, mate! At least yer still alive an' wot.... Me an' ID is fookin' DEAD, mate! An' all we wanted was a low-rent squat on the lakeshore an' a few nosy adventurers to gobble up once in a while, an' lookit where we are now.... Ghosts makin' nonsensical commentary whenever the bloody DM is bored at work, as it were....
Like, whatever fits your artistic vision, mate! So, Azathoth brings us back on account 'o missin' our witty banter.... An' 'ow 'bout 'e decides to post us in vuh Bahamas vis time as part 'o 'is evil scheme an' wot?
Well, we could come back as ghosts, at least, right? I mean, Doc Holliday came back as a ghost.... Even vat bloody yank redneck, Jeb, 's a bloody ghost!
Did ye 'ear vat, DM? Mister Radsworf liked us so mooch, 'ed read a bloody graphic novel about vis business only if yours truly an' me ole chum vuh ID was innit! Seems a bloody good argument, as it were, for bringin' us back to life, what wif all vuh entertainment value we was added, as it were, ain't vat right, ID?
Oh, shut yer gob, ID.... Ye know I can't help me gas problem.... its cheese, is what it is, mate.... I can't digest all the cheese what's coomin' from yer whingy gob, mate.... Always whinging til vuh bittah end, vat one is.... About 'ow vuh GM never saw proper to name 'im ought else but what vey calls 'im in ve ol' Bestiary.... An' 'is three bloody CRs higher, as it were....
Well, vat's bloody well depressin', innit? Fanks a fookin' lot for all yer help, Intellect Devourer....
Wazzat!? Ye mean I'm dead!?
Well, vis bloody well sucks, as it were.... Now I'm stook here 'twixt two bloody stupid giant ants, what carnt really 'urt me wif bites an' what-not, but woont bloody let me goo back upstairs to get away from vis bloody firebombin' fool wif va free arms, as it were.... I mean, uh.... Gobbledygook an' what-not....
As another firebomb bursts on its already blistered flesh, The Babbler shrieks in agony and desperately seeks in vain an escape route, but pinned as it is between the two giant ants, The Babbler is forced to make a stand.... It turns its gnashing mouths on the second giant ant that now blocks its retreat back upstairs.... Bite plus grab misses....
And a squirt of acidic saliva for good measure.... Fort DC 18 or blinded rounds....lands square in the ant's multifaceted eyes!
Beggin' yer pardon, Mister GM, but yer kind of a bloody prick, if ye doont mind me sayin' so, LOL-ing as it were at our misfortunes, however numerically coincidental vey may be....
The sword blade bounces harmlessly off The Babbler's rubbery hide, but as Krar dances away, and the mouther lashes out with a pseudopod ending in a gnashing mouth.... plus grab ....that snaps on empty air, Krar's foot swings around and connects with the pseudopod with a loud crack!
Yer mean I doont get no tasty morsel? Vat's no fair 't all, by Cthulhu! Vat's foul play, says I! Foul play, vat's what!.... Er, rather, gambrel Cotswolds packs a trunk marmalade lorries, old chum!
Edit: Engulf attempt on Krar........fails! The elusive monk disengages from The Babbler, and does not take the previously stated 20 damage and 2 Con damage.
A chorus of howls escape the many mouths if The Babbler as Grimm's firebomb explodes across its amorphous frame, searing its flesh with a satisfying crackle!
Ye sound like a broken record, mate! Ever carryin' on about bein' three bloody CRs higher van me boot not 'avin no bloody title.... Get over it, mate! Ye soond like a bloody coont, if ye doont mind me sayin' so....uh, vat is.... Gill pulley Polly wattle duly all vuh day, me oily bag o chips 'n fishes!
Oy! That's no fair, conjurin' up mindless varmints to confound little ol' your's truly.... Vem what can't appreciate my babblin', as it were.... Not very sportsmanlike, is it?
Har-har!! Did ye see the look on both o their faces after he shot her!? I think I'll piss me self! Har!! Uh.... Rather, wardrobe exchequer trolley laggards! Boggle wallops chimneys weep guttersnipe a paddy!!! Har!! Har!! Will saves DC 13 from all, please.... As a swift action, The Babbler indeed "pisses himself", or rather Radsworth, squirting a stream of acidic spittle at him....ranged touch Fort DC 18 or blinded rounds.... As a standard action, The Babbler engulfs Krar, its mouth-and-eye-riddled flesh oozing around to completely envelop his body! piercing damage plus 2 Con damage, and Krar is considered swallowed whole until he can cut his way out!
Dashing back through the doorway (20 ft of movement) brings Krar to the foot of the spiral stair, where he is within reach of The Babbler; he strikes it a blow with his sword (dealing 2 slashing after DR) and attempts to spring back another 10 ft, provoking an AoO.... Bite plus grab succeeds, preventing Krar from moving away, as he is now dragged closer to The Babbler's disgusting, amorphous blob of a body!
Oh, shoosh, you! A bit o confusion adds a flavor what's too refined for the likes o you common, untitled, run-o-the-Bestiary monsters to notice in the meat....
I thought I'd come downstairs an' join in the fun.... Make yer wee rumble a bit more interestin' as it were....
Initiative Wazzat? Squealings an' delicious smells o' cookin' meat from downstairs, is it? Can't let that wrinkly little chap with the chicken legs and 'is little hallway monkeys 'ave all the fun without little ol' me.... The Babbler in the Stairwell, as it were..... Time for me to make me entrance.... Just got to roll down these stairs 'ere.... Yar, here we goes.... Better give 'em a bit o' the old babble.... Don't want to disappoint.... Reputation and all that.... They don't call me The Thing What Just Babbles To 'Isself in the Stairwell, do they? Billy gobble pollywog buggers? Shanty mugs wif pushy little daisies waggle round about, eh? Snip us sitter shins in gamble dolly blacks 'em! The babbling of multiple voices echoes in the nearby stairwell! It is a chillingly familiar cacophony, all too similar to the mad gibberish uttered by The St Armand's Terror, a gibbering mouther The Fierce Ones defeated on their first visit to St Armand's Circle.... Will saves from all, please, DC 13, or confused for 1 round! |