Squeak Warforged's page

I've had a ball, though I know I have dropped that in the last few days I think everything has settled down.
If you are not enjoying it, absolutely take a break and think about what to do.

Action 1
"Extra Sensory Partaking is indeed an excellent idea." Squeak confessed "And one I wish I had thought of. As for the parallel, I consulted with an expert on human thought, and they explained to me that primitive senses such as taste and smell are fundamental to human emotions. Thus 'flavor' descriptions are used for alternate purposes. Some of the conversations we have overheard about Bronwyn make more sense in this context, and I now feel we can safely abandon our fears that a proportion of human males are secretly cannibals."
He looked to the others "For example, I believe that were I to refer to Lucina as 'sweet', 'juicy' and 'ripe' I believe this would indicate I am interested in a liason, not that I believe she is similar to an orange. If I additionally described her as 'bitter', 'spoiled' or 'umami', however, it would indiate that I believed she was already in a liason and/or not open to another one."
The 'Forged looked seriously at his companion "This means we may need to revise some of our other plans based on new information on the number of human males.." Squeak paused "Er, males..." another pause "Organics. Organics who are interested in a liason with Bronwyn." He shook his head "After all, childbirth is quite dangerous to human females, due to their inferior reproductive mechanisms. Bronwyn's delicate skin, fine bone structure and low body weight will render her especially vulnerable." If I am right about her appearance...

Action 3
"So the mark may endanger Bronwyn?" Squeak asked, immediately seizing on the most salient point.

Action 1
"No." Squeak answered honestly, his mind on 162 "Should I have? Most of us lack taste and smell receptors. I understood they are one of the most primal of human senses." Inspiration struck "Aha! Both chocolates and flowers make a strong impact. Also: this is why human lovers taste each other! And why they use cullinary referenced for attractiveness!"
Squeak cursed his decision to give up on his pheremone experiments after the Incident.

Action 3
"Interesting" Squeak allowed 'The facial hair problem is one I had not anticipated, but humans do dislike having hair removed. Your research into human status hairstyles bears unexpected fruit."

Action 5
"Perhaps a..." Squeak took a leap of faith "Spicy book? With a sweet hero and a bitter heroine?"

Action 1
Squeak stood straighter "I am known for my intelligence. I had not considered going so far as friendship... but that is a possibility. I have noted that Bronwyn is worried she may not be accepted by her family, or others, given... recent events."
"Bronwyn's intellect surpasses even my own, and therefore I must assume that her worries are well founded. I am unable to prevent possible rejection, so I am starting on a plan to create a backup family for her. As part of this I need a better understanding of human mating habits." He looks around "I understand it is something to do with chocolates, flower and underwear."

Speaking of... Moving to Squeak, she said, "Have you spoken to 152, to see what she wants to do, now that we're back? Is she going to continue to travel with us? Or would she rather go her own way?" It didn't occur to Vi to ask the 'forged herself - 152 seemed barely sentient, especially compared to Squeak and Palisade

Squeak looked confused for a moment. "162. I very much think she should come with us. She would be quite the celebrity in Sharn, and we could refurbish her chassis. I'd love to see her properly restored. Those sleek lines, and smooth curves..." he trails off. "Palisade? What do you think?"

Bronwyn gave an unladylike snort, "This is Adderport. I shudder to think what passes for cuisine here and I highly doubt there's much shopping let alone high end shopping. But I guess there isn't much else to do but look."

"I do need supplies. I'm completely out of powdered sugar, my cooking oil is in desperate need of replacement, and I need more crossbow bolts and poison." Squeak pointed out.

”Request acknowledged. There have been three previous companions who are no longer with us. Number one. Precious companion Rathan Two-Tribes whose bodily odor could make women swoon,” Palisade replied matter-of-factly. ”He parted ways with us to join our employer of the time on another mission. Number two. Precious companion Rokko, the heretical follower of the Silver Flame. He left us after our mission to the Mournland. Third, Precious companion Lucina Mindragus. She was with us until the beginning of this mission, and is presumably still in Sharn, learning the intricacies of shopping.”

"That seems a very anthropocentric list." Squeak mumbled a complaint. More loudly he continued "I think that a gift for Lucina sounds like a wonderful idea. Food is probably not appropriate, given it will rot. Maybe clothes? I've noted humans seem to like clothes a lot. Further, it should be possible to choose this easily, as their soft bodies stretch around clothes."

I need to track down the Eberron Alchemist material - I know I had been considering a little bit of a rebuild after we switched to the new Artificer, and I need to read through it.

"I have a little experiment I'd like to try, involving ground chilli, molten sugar and persimmon seeds." Squeak explains to the others "Other than that, I suppose I'm fine." Squeak hesitated "Although I suggest he accompany us to ensure he does not warn others, and so we can ask him further questions that may occur later."

Contingent on thug coming with us - given he's going back to the same place as us
Squeak took the prisoner aside for a private conversation as they walked, the hulking 'Forged form looming over the man "Given you have an above average number of breeding partners, which suggests you have an above average expertise, I'd like to ask you for advice about women."

Action 3
Squeak paused "Really? Typically organics ignore details. I have made detailed notes on the recipes I prepared and the resultant review." he pulled out a surprisingly thick notebook "Day 1, meal 1. Bronwyn has indicated a desire to try some of the local foods, but a concern that she might suffer gastric distress so I have..."
tag? @Bronwyn; feel free to veto if you like, it seems like a generic idle traveller complaint

"Palisade: I noticed you note taking. Were they just notes for the spider-device?" Tag

If we can take a short rest it makes more sense to me to use healing dice - spell slots can be spent on other things, healing dice are dedicated. Am I missing something?

"I understand. I suggest we prioritise repair and healing. We need to salvage the supplies and clothes from our attackers. We are looking for a duck-egg blue with" Squeak glanced quickly at Bronwyn's clothing "gold stitching. If we can find some base colours I should be able to modify them a little so the patch blends in."

"I need clarification; are these people prisoners?" Squeak enquired as the thugs are spared, rather than speared "What treatment is appropriate?"

Squeak stood shocked. This time, however, he was able to override his system's endlessly looping warning messages 'Yes. Thank you me, I am well aware Objective is compromised.' Quickly he sprayed a soothing, healing mist over Bronwyn and a much less benign cloud over the thugs in front of him.
Squeak found himself forced to agree with Palisade "Acknowledged, Palisade." Despite the obvious problem that dogs did not like pepper.
healing word: 1d4 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (1) + 4 + 3 = 8
acid splash: 2d6 + 3 ⇒ (5, 6) + 3 = 14 (Dex save vs 16, I think. Int +3 Prof +3)

The priestess laughed, raised her arms, and called down a flame from the sky. It struck
among them and did severe damage to all but Bronwyn and Dusk who managed to evade part of
the heat.

Aha! You convinced me to take Absorb Elements, Fabian. As per your instructions I looked it up - and it is a Reaction! Squeak shall cast it and see if he lives.

"Undead incoming. Vi: please execute the leader. Companion Dusk, the undead are surprisingly robust. I require assistance." Squeak relayed, repeating his actions. this time, however, it was Vi he targeted with his healing mist.
attack with inspiration!: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (19) + 6 = 25 damage: 2d10 + 3 ⇒ (2, 2) + 3 = 7
attack with inspiration!: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (5) + 6 = 11
healing word: 1d4 + 3 + 3 ⇒ (1) + 3 + 3 = 7
Inside he exulted 'I moved to stand between Bronwyn and the charging undead! I have taken arrows meant for her! Perhaps my defect was a momentary glitch!'

today's elixir roll is elixir: 1d6 ⇒ 3 - now I just have to find my notes...
attack, and healing word as a bonus action - assuming Bronwyn's shield didn't stop enough damage to leave her light or better.
healing word: 1d4 + 3 + 3 ⇒ (2) + 3 + 3 = 8

Squeak moved to the other side of Bronwyn, acting as a living bulwark. With his left hand he raised his crossbow and fired a bolt of fire at the oncoming undead. With his right he squirted Bronwyn with a mist of atomised healing potion.

Otherwise
Squeak moved to the other side of Bronwyn, acting as a living bulwark. He raised his crossbow and fired a bolt of fire at the oncoming undead. "Don't worry Fendir, I'm... Oh, you're fine."

attack: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (20) + 6 = 26 damage: 2d10 + 3 ⇒ (2, 5) + 3 = 10 Edit: woohoo! Can you crit a spell? Do I roll another 2d10? in which case crit: 2d10 ⇒ (8, 7) = 15

Action 2
"Really?" Squeak said, pleased "That is excellent news. I was worried I had missed standardisation. I wonder what it does?"

Squeak wrote:

He paused "If possible could we capture a few? I have some experiments I would like to perform and subjects would be helpful. Note so long as torso and head survive I am confident I can keep them alive long enough. I will need their tongues and vocal chords intact."

”Agreement. We are still to perfect the spider kill device for Lady d’Deneith. And while living subjects would be ideal, this one believes even a perished unit would have some value – we could use it to make sure the device won’t slice off the wearer’s lips while performing the spider execution action.”

Squeak looked at Palisade, then turned back to the Emerald Clawites "Oh. I was thinking..." 'Lip slicing? I was thinking I could use them to test the amount of chilli to add to my Spicy Ganache in order to mask the chitin flavour. I mean, I suppose Bronwyn's safety is the more important...' Inspiration struck 'Oh! Palisade is bluffing them! He really is very good with humans.' "Uh, of course. Yes. The spider execution unit. Exactly."

Action 2
Squeak groaned as he got to his feet, still partially disassembled. "I heard someone... just. It was very quiet. They asked 'what about 162'." he looked around "Didn't you hear it? Who said it?"

Action 4
Squeak hesitated, troubled, then burst out "I suggest using a pound for pound reference is a poor measure of comparison. I would estimate that this group weighs at most a ton. Our group weighs in at closer to one and a half. Could I request we use a volumetric comparison instead? 'Cubic foot for cubic foot'?" He sighs "Even then, we have a Siege class Warforged and a Colossus class Warforged... there really needs to be a better mechanism for assessing capability, still..." He brightened "once they're dead I can measure their weight, volume and surface area." He paused "If possible could we capture a few? I have some experiments I would like to perform and subjects would be helpful. Note so long as torso and head survive I am confident I can keep them alive long enough. I will need their tongues and vocal chords intact."

Hope I am not taking liberties, @Palisade
Action 3
"You are unfortunate." Squeak agreed with Vi. "I am unsure why I myself did not receive such a mark."
He looked across to where his fellow 'Forged was stripping down and reassembling his secondary motivator. "Even Palisade has received one. I am attempting to correlate our experience in an attempt see why i might have been spared."
He paused "An excellent point. It could simply be that the manifestation of my Dragonmark has been delayed." Carefully manually adjusting his 'mouth' into a humorous smile he continued "Indeed it is fortunate that they possess colour. Given my entire housing is inscribed with holy writ it might be quite hard to see otherwise."

On Squeak's back the words rippled slightly and pushed a fragment of inscription deep into the cell containing Squeak's cogitator and Soul housing.
"Indeed. We should talk about 162's future. Can we bring her back with us?"

Her eyes widened in fear and she dug frantically in her bag for one of her mirrors. She held it up to her neck and promptly burst into tears. "It's changed! It's no longer a true Mark of Sentinel," she wailed. "And they'll all notice because it's bigger!" Her altered dragonmark had spread from her neck downwards to encompass her shoulder. If she had been thinking more clearly, she may have been grateful it had moved to her shoulder rather than her face but she was close to being inconsolable. She buried her face in her hands, "I'm going to be disowned." . To make matters worse, a loud hissing sound emitted from the still glowing dragonmark which caused a new round of sobbing and the wizard began to hyperventilate.

Suddenly Squeak had a moment of empathy. In a moment Bronwyn had been rendered defective to her bloodline, through no fault of her own. He strode forward, putting a cold metal hand on her shoulder.

spell: 1d25 ⇒ 11
flaw: 1d8 ⇒ 2
quirk: 1d6 ⇒ 1

Earth Tremor. Your mark whispers to you. Its meaning can be unclear. Unusually small or faint

Aside
"Companion Palisade" Squeak fell back into formal speech "I need to consult with you privately. Noticing that we are currently alone I request that you interrupt your activities below priority 2 to deal with this. It has an impact on the safety of Bronwyn."

yeah, don't see Palisade saying no to that ;p
"Regret: I am defective" Squeak slumped - an expression practiced so endlessly it had become habit "During the fight I suffered an overload to my cogitators. I am unsure what caused the overload, but it appears to have been a latched heuristic."
Squeak started to stop, then stopped stopping, and started again, eyes trained on the ground "I suffered issues with my movement, targeting and metaprocessing. I couldn't move, and I couldn't seem to hit the target." With a literal squeak he continued "In an effort to reboot me, Bronwyn put herself between me and danger. Only when she was injured was my goal prioritisation heuristic able to break the deadlock and reset the latched heuristic."

"Request: I would like you to confirm that this is a defect, and not undetected combat damage to my core." he trailed off "Obviously if I have a faulty cogitator I cannot trust my own judgement. It follows that I therefore need to turn my self into a certified repair technican. You, here, are the only one who can do this."

"I submit to you that scrapping me here would be problematic. We are already overloaded, and that would add six hundred pounds to be carried by the organics. I suggest that I be decertified for combat, and carry the load back to Adderport."

Action 1

Squeak's consciousness returned, his vision filled with Palisade's face. Damage marked every inch of the 'Forged. His eye glow flickered. There was a slight downwards angle on his head. It was not so often that Palisade displayed his inner thoughts so openly.

Memory rushed back, and with that memory, shame. Past the damage warnings an alert bubbled to the top of his mind, and Squeak turned his head, desperately, as he looked for Bronwyn. His first guess - that Palisade had positioned himself to treat Squeak and see Bronwyn simultaneously proved correct.

The urge to keep his defect secret rose. Fighting the urge he prepared himself, but even as he started to speak Bronwyn hugged him, and Vi asked after his health. Somehow he found himself stopped. The secret burned in his mind, but he told himself he needed everyone conscious first. He needed to assist Palisade.

"No deaths." he reflected "I was... we were lucky. It could have been much worse." 'Bronwyn put herself in harms way to help me. Palisade took the blow that should have been mine.'

Strangely even more than the obvious drive to avoid destruction, it was the inevitable loss of respect that caused the most fear. Bronwyn, he felt, might even want to keep him around, despite that he was demonstrably a hazard.

Action 2
Squeak still stayed silent, grappling internally with conflicting priorities and drives. 'They need me to carry things. Who would cook? They can hardly decommission me here - they'd have to drag my chassis back in order to file a warranty claim.'

'Palisade.' he decided 'Reliable, dependable, standardised Palisade. While the organics sleep, I will tell Palisade. My mental capabilities are obviously damaged. It would be foolish to rely on what I think. Palisade will know what to do.'

death save: 1d20 ⇒ 9
No pressure

I would also be willing to have you roll with advantage if you get creative on how you detonate a firebolt. (i.e., get close to the mummy and you also take damage or something to that effect).

firebolt: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (12) + 6 = 18 flanking?firebolt: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (6) + 6 = 12

damage: 2d10 + 3 ⇒ (7, 4) + 3 = 14 and if with advantage damage to both?: 2d10 + 3 ⇒ (1, 4) + 3 = 8

I'm actually not sure what to do. Squeak is certainly prepared to die in the course of his duties, and is willing to set himself on fire if it will also burn the mummy.
Companions need desperately to be saved, but it is hard to see how when there is this much damage going around.
If Vi does not have a magical weapon, potentially Squeak could give her his?
Anyone see anything I do not?

Thanks for the kind words all :) Sorry if he is being overly dramatic

Think Inspiration has to be on the Will Save. Thanks Fabian!
Will: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (20) - 1 = 19 Will: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (6) - 1 = 5 Thank goodness!

Logic argues against an able combat unit wasting itself to save a spent unit of questionable operational value

Squeak's shame spiralled as Palisade - dependable, predictable Palisade - sacrificed himself for Squeak. Horror flooded Squeak's system as Palisade's very argument for his own demise was fatally poisoned by Squeak's secret; it was Squeak whose defect rendered him questionably operational.

Even horror failed as Bronwyn was injured, standing between Squeak and the monster. His Purpose not just subverted, but inverted. Instinctively he reached for a healing elixir - only to realise the elixir he reserved for Bronwyn had been spent on Fendir.

Something within Squeak snapped.

"Un... Unable to... Comply."

Suddenly he was moving. As the flame from Bronwyn's hands subsided he reached out, dragging himself forward and her backward as he did his best to switch positions with the young wizard.

'Need to ensure that target perceives...' mental static 'this unit as the true threat'

Still dripping with oil Squeak did his best to ignite the already-smouldering target directly.
so, grapple is a str roll, right? I'm guessing Squeak knows he has no chance, so going for a point blank firebolt - which means disadvantage.
Primary goal is to ensure Bronwyn is not attacked again! OOC I also think she's our best chance of taking this guy down.
Squeak's AC is incredible (21) due to Admantine Plating, and he has 43 hp. Pretty sure it'll take a while to take him down.
firebolt: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (3) + 6 = 9 firebolt: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (5) + 6 = 11 damage: 2d10 + 3 ⇒ (10, 4) + 3 = 17
Edit: Ah well - would have failed the str +0 roll as well.

wis: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (1) - 1 = 0
Edit: wow, that's... definitive.

The question as to whether Warforged had Souls was largely of academic interest only to Palisade and Squeak. Essentially immortal beings, death was of less concern to Constructs than to Organics - and Squeak has rendered the question largely irrelevant by repurposing a small Construct into an Artifical Soul.

Warforged definitely had emotions though - or at least emotion analogues close enough to make no difference. Squeak's survival instinct manifested in a similar way to fear. His trust & group cohesion heuristics allowed him to feel friendship. Socialisation and empathy routines allowed him to feel guilt. Certain emotions were stronger than in humans (Warforged of Squeak's model felt little anger for instance) and certain emotions were stronger. Emotions around achieving Objectives were happiness, joy, even a holy awe. Conversely failing Objectives engendered negative emotions.

Squeak absolutely felt that he was betraying his friends. He felt the guilt. He knew he was under-performing, that he could save Palisade. He heard those he liked - loved even, if a Forged was capable of such a thing - asking him to move. He knew that he was endangering Bronwyn's life by forcing her to come closer.

Still, he could not move.

Horror overwhelmed the construct. His entire life he had worried he was defective, but pushed on. Here, now, was the proof that he was defective, and it would cost Everything.

Words would not come.

For the first time in a long time Squeak felt a new emotion. A subtly different form of guilt he had studied but never seen. Shame.

An eternity passed. Squeak's mind spun, pushed passed its specifications by a vicious circle of emotional overcharging. Still it found nothing.

Squeak's hand moved from resrvoir to reservoir, uncscrewing caps, puncturing seals. Oil trickled around him. "Palisade." Squeak's voice was modulated strangely. "Command: Move Fendir and Bronwyn behind me. I am detonating."

Bronwyn's order was impossible. One last possible gambit remained. In Draconic Squeak screeched at the Mummy "That which you protect, I have destroyed. You have failed." 'All to easy to see what will motivate a guardian beyond reason' "You are a failure. I am the reason for your failure. Failure. Failure. Failure."

Can't move to reach Palisade. If needed, then Holy word to keep Fendir alive (it is ranged, unlike repair construct) for 1d4+3+3 (have not rolled as don't know if will happen) - can't be used on Palisade, and Repair is touch, so has to disobey - but only if Fendir needs it not to die before being dragged away. If he can cast Repair Construct on Palisade as he goes past he'll do that.
hmm - unless Healing Word can be used to hurt the undead?
Move to unseal pouches of oil
Reaction to set fire to self & try to grapple if mummy comes close.
Not a great plan, I realise, but I don't feel he's really in his right mind.

Bronwyn falls into both categories, but even if she was a screaming harpy she'd be Objective. She might not be a friend. Since she told him she was more than an Objective he's been careful to try to see her as more than just Objective, but to some degree she has become too people. Objective needs to be protected, but he trusts Bronwyn. In theory you can use this to split his loyalties, but he might break.

will: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (5) - 1 = 4
attack: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (4) + 6 = 10attack: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (9) + 6 = 15
Squeak flung another useless firebolt. 'They're being destroyed! I need to get closer! I need to hit!' Squeak's mind was in turmoil, the words of Section 12 echoing through his mind like the end-shift-bell of doom.

Section Twelve; Zero Defect Policy. All items for sale must be defect-free. Manufactured items should be judged for defects by the Quality Assurance Officer. A defective item must be broken into parts, which are then tested. Any part that contains a defect must be scrapped. Parts that are without defect should be sent for re-use. It is preferable to scrap a hundred parts than allow one defect to contaminate the inventory. Addendum; at the Duty Engineer's discretion an item with a defect may have that defect repaired where it is cost-effective to do so.

'I am defective.' Squeak realised 'I have contaminated the inventory, and now I am unable to protect Objective, or save my friends.'

will: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (1) - 1 = 0

Squeak found himself freezing further, alarms and alerts cascading through his system in a total system failure. 'Just a glitch' he tried to tell himself. 'Not defective. Not defective.'

Logical thought becoming harder he fumbled another firebolt into his crossbow, aimed and fired. firebolt: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (4) + 6 = 10firebolt: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (20) + 6 = 26 damage: 2d10 + 3 ⇒ (1, 8) + 3 = 12 The bolt came closer, but again missed.

Action 1
Squeak had the frustrating feeling that his language processing had failed. 'Possibly code?'

Palisade came through though. 'Oh, I must have missed a previous conversation about... treasure hunting? Dusk thinks she can find leathers like Vi's on a mission.' He listened for a moment more 'Yes. She wants leathers like Vi's, and thinks she would need to adventure to find some. Logical, I suppose, given the absence of armourers nearby.'

"Palisade is correct." Squeak added seriously "We should not strain our resources, and forming into sub-groups is unnecessarily dangerous." He hesitated, trying to find a compromise but clueless as to the sudden need for new clothes "If you feel your armour is sub-optimal I am confident Palisade and I can jury-rig something that provides better protection."

'I had not realised Vi's leathers were so valuable. Logically that makes sense - my adamantium exoskeleton is the most expensive part of me because it keeps me alive.'

Action 2
will: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (13) - 1 = 12
immediate reaction
"Oh no!" Squeak called "Vi's leathers! We need to get the acid off now!"
end of round
"No." Squeak grumped "Bronwyn, Vi, both of you get behind me." He fought down survival heuristics "Remember that even after I cease to function my body should provide cover."

Squeak knew he should be further ahead, providing cover - but found himself rooted to the spot. Somewhere in his mind something glitched, and he found his legs frozen. Anomalous readings suggested something was writhing in his internal alchemical repository. 'A bug! No! I am not defective!'

It took all his will, but the 'Forged managed to fire another incendiary into the melee. firebolt: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (16) + 6 = 22firebolt: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (1) + 6 = 7 dam if hit: 2d10 + 3 ⇒ (3, 3) + 3 = 9

not proficient in wis saves, so...

[dice=wis]1d20-1

Action 1
"I could use Acid." Squeak suggested "With luck the rock would dissolve before the crystal. Alternatively we could break away enough of the roof to take the crystal and adjacent material."

Action 3
Squeak's decision engines constantly balanced a million factors evaluating threats to itself and Objective. As soon as the cadaver appeared those algorithms started throwing warnings. Hundreds of warnings. Desperately fighting down warning after warning Squeak struggled to join his fire to Bronwyn's. His firebolt, however, streaked past harmlessly.
[dice=attack]1d20+6
[dice=attack]1d20+6

Have I got it right that you need proficiency on a save to add your +3?

not proficient in wis saves, so...
wis: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (16) - 1 = 15

Action 1
"I could use Acid." Squeak suggested "With luck the rock would dissolve before the crystal. Alternatively we could break away enough of the roof to take the crystal and adjacent material."

Action 3
Squeak's decision engines constantly balanced a million factors evaluating threats to itself and Objective. As soon as the cadaver appeared those algorithms started throwing warnings. Hundreds of warnings. Desperately fighting down warning after warning Squeak struggled to join his fire to Bronwyn's. His firebolt, however, streaked past harmlessly.
attack: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (11) + 6 = 17
attack: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (14) + 6 = 20

Action 1
Squeak drifted slowly overhead. "I believe so." he changed direction slightly "Your mass is significantly smaller than mine. I do insist the others" he looked briefly at Bronwyn "Evacuate the chamber first, in case it brings the ceiling down or explodes."

Easy enough - just visit the Tinkerer's Guild in Sharn and ask to see their worker's union manual / workplace safety guide :-)

Blasphemy! for they use version 7 of the manual, rather than the most holy version 6 with additional appendix C. Further their commandments have changed Commandment 1713: All workers are entitled to appropriate toilet breaks, as well as a fifteen minute paid morning and afternoon break. Now it defines a given length of time for toilet breaks! This is an attempt to standardise organic workers, in defiance of the True Order, attempting to imbue them with a perfection reserved for The Created! ;P

Squeak did his best to atone along with Palisade, readying himself to face some great evil. "Bronwyn, would you consider standing behind me so I can act as cover in the event of an explosion?
When Vi and Dusk freeze...
Squeak braced himself [b]"What have you found?" he called "Is it a poison needle? Did you hear a click?"

Marvelling as Fendir once again seemed to cheat death, Squeak took courage. He let go of the railing, floating gently upwards, upside down. Desperately he fumbled another incendiary bolt into his crossbow and let fly - from five feet to the right and ten feet up.
'It'll see me as a threat and latch on, preventing me from floating away and stopping it killing Fendir. Again.' he reasoned.
firebolt: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (13) + 6 = 19 damage: 2d10 + 3 ⇒ (8, 5) + 3 = 16
Much to Squeak's annoyance the formerly invulnerable devil dog stumbled backward from the flame, slipped in Fendir's blood, and fell howling from the platform. The lashing tongue missed anything and the Canoloth joined its friend as Squeak floated free.

Action 4
Squeak lost his balance as the platform switched direction again. Quickly he infused his infrastructure with his experimental potion, and as anticipated it significantly lightened his load. 'In fact' he mused 'I believe it has altered the way my mass falls. I appear to be falling... up.' Quickly he scrabbled for a handhold, lest he fall into the sky.

Action 5
Squeak moved himself handhold by handhold over to the main platform. Still upside down he desperately struggled to load and fire an incendiary bolt at the dangling demon-dog; for whom he was beginning to feel a strange kinship.
rather than make an attack roll, is there a way for Squeak to swoop in and save anyone who might fall? I feel like moving blood-slicked platforms over lava might be an OH&S violation.

Oh, so Squeak's original 'dead plain magic crossbow' was the way to go?

Squeak stood frozen as the platform moved. He rallied at Bronwyn's words, glad to have the simplicity of an order to follow. "Yes ma'am"
Quickly he noted the lack of damage to the creature from his acid, and Bronwyn's comparative success with fire, and shot once more at the dangling creature.

attack: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (7) + 6 = 13damage: 2d10 + 3 ⇒ (4, 10) + 3 = 17
Does anyone know IC what we actually need to do to kill these things?

'Why is it moving?'
Carefully Squeak strode out onto the platform, staying as close to the middle as he could. Drawing a vial he flung it in an arc towards the dangling demon dog.
acid spash dog and chain ref half: 2d6 + 3 ⇒ (2, 3) + 3 = 8

Squeak considered his options 'Fire is likely useless. Acid might damage the chains... Perhaps simple bolts are the way to go.'
Lacking other instructions he loaded bolts he had yet to put an incendiary head on and started shooting.
attack: 1d20 + 5 + 1 ⇒ (8) + 5 + 1 = 14 damage: 1d8 + 3 ⇒ (6) + 3 = 9

Action 1
Squeak twitched a few times in Bronwyn's hand. "The airship..." He buzzed furiously "It'a just these platforms look so... fragile."

Action 2
"Given the environment, should I assume they are resistant to fire?" Squeak asked as he hesitated, hand hovered over his incendiary arrows.

Squeak became increasingly nervous as Vi headed towards the edge of the platform. "Well. We did our best. Looks like a dead end, really. Obviously we have been defeated. Time to head back."

Action 2
"This seems like a trap." Squeak announced "I suggest everyone stay away from the edge. I am not sure whether the platforms fall in, or the edges tip when someone tries to use them to jump, or the statues come alive, or something falls from the ceiling into the lava, or..." Squeak carefully catalogued all the possibilities he - a highlhly inventive sapper - could see this might be a trap."[/b]

once someone is just about to jump
"I suppose I could trial my potion of flight." Squeak squeaked "I had hoped to use it to lighten the scones for afternoon tea though."

Hmmm - doesn't Palisade have smithing tools? There should be something in there to help, hopefully.
If this thing has enough force behind it that it isn't bothered by a thousand pounds of Warforged, and can shear through a tempered metal blade, this is likely not helping.
"Palisade;" Squeak informed his brother "Your skill with metalwork makes it more likely you can take out a bar in the portcullis. Ram it and get to work. I will buy what time I can."
Decision made, Squeak lay face down down on the floor directly in front of the stone, maximising the area he could put in place in the stone. Desperately he pried at the stone flooring, hoping to displace enough stone to cause it to catch.

Hey Fabian, was there any change, or sounds from having to shove a thousand pounds of warforged along? Trying to work out if there is any point in trying to slow it at all, or how much we might need to ramp up to get this to slow down.

Obligatory XKCD

Squeak, ever the artificer, stared at the oncoming slab as his mind flickered through possibilities. "We need something thin enough to go through the cracks, soft enough to deform to increase the coefficient of friction..."
Inspiration struck. "The coins! Gold would be best, silver is good. copper might be ductile enough. Bronwyn, get coins, start feeding them under the door, in the centre. Watch your fingers and hair. Palisade, this thing pivots. An extra ton might make a difference. You and I need to put our weight at the very right hand side of the door. The torque might be extreme enough to make it pivot, and then it will smash through the portcullis for us."
"Someone... Pull the lever again! It might turn off!"

As Palisade joined him in a quieter voice he spoke to his brother "I'm Adamantine. When this thing crushes me against the bars, something else is going to break. Bronwyn is thin. If we get close enough you need to lift me vertically - as we die we should be able to create enough of a gap to protect Bronwyn until the bars bend."

Actually I think gold is too soft to be useful, but it seemed more thematic ;)

loving the 'and one for Bastion'
Squeak considered "An excellent point. If we spot-weld wires to out facial superstructure we should be able to ensure they stay attached. It does create a potential handhold for an enemy, of course. I also assume it would take some work to keep them clean. Alternatively we could modify our heads to have easy-attach alternate faceplates."
"I am reluctant to use real hair, given the negative reaction to my attempt to use a real face. I also understand there are several styles, as well as the practical considerations." Squeak looked over at Fendir "I will need to consult with a bearded person."

"An excellent point about being closed in, Comrade Dusk. Conversely if we return at speed I would want a way of ensuring that we can close the grate behind us."

"Hmmm. Statistically higher ranks in the clergy do seem to be correlated with facial hair, baldness and increased weight." Squeak pondered. "You certainly have the baldness and increased weight. Perhaps facial hair is worth it."

Action 2
While Bronwyn and Dusk fiddled with their items and Vi took a rest, Squeak turned his attention to the skeleton. Reverently he moved the bones from the shrinking pile, carefully reassembling them in an anatomical model.

if anyone asks him why
"It was my understanding that Dragons do not die of old age. I was curious what around here had managed to cause the death of a creature so powerful. I am hoping there are clues on the remains to suggest what caused this."
"Given the children had not dragged their parent from the pile, and had not turned on each other, it suggests that for all their greed they displayed family feelings suggesting that it was not them."
He turned to Palisade "Could I borrow some wire?"

A moment later he continues
"She died here, defending a prison. i.e. she died at her post. Palisade; I think I would like to hold a decommissioning ceremony. It seems wrong that we simply destroy her remains and move on."

Action 3
"So. Further down. It occurs to me" Squeak announced "That potentially the children were acting to stop something below from coming up."

Action 1
"I do not. I would suggest we could carefully measure the dimensions of the structure, and attempt to work out hollow spaces that would be able to hold secondary treasure."

Squeak stared morosely at the dead dragons. "I am saddened we needed to kill the children."

Action 2
"All praise the Creator Goddess." Squeak agreed, and paused "However..." he paused "No, I suppose if it were to be considered the use of non-genuine parts, she would not grant you the use of the power, and thus could be considered an exemption to clause three, paragraph five. Indeed, as the Creator Goddess is by definition an authorised supplier, and she grants you the power to create these parts, one could argue that they are in fact Genuine."

Tricky theological issues navigated, Squeak set back to work.

Action 3
"Coins are irritatingly difficult to move." Squeak complained "I suggest we build a temporary smelter and reforge them into convenient thirty pound bars." Inspiration struck "Indeed, we could reforge some of Palisade's armour plating out of the materials."
Squeak looked to Bronwyn for support "It has been said Palisade is worth his weight in gold. If we replace some of his weight with actual gold, we may be able to improve his value:weight ratio, and reduce the weight we need to carry out."

for the record, this is a terrible idea.

"If the mirrors are to hand it would be useful to involve Palisade in repairs. His expertise is considerable."
for the record, will use up to uh... 3 repair constructs on Palisade. Have to save that last slot for Bronwyn - I'm sure that's what Palisade would want ;P

l00t: 1d20 ⇒ 9
Squeak pulled a large, pump action syringe full of liquid cement. "Palisade: please verbally prioritise damage locations." as he started to apply the cement, Squeak noted that the location he was repairing had already been repaired previously. "Note: we need to reforge several of your structural sections when we have access to a full factory. Alternatively I can move one of my plates to you."

Idly he considered the dragon's flesh. 'A sentient creature. Sentient creatures are not to be consumed. Unless...' he considered Vi's words 'A lack of information ameliorates the potential damage.'

Sorry everyone. Out of comms because I was distracted, but am safe. Canberra is blanketed in smoke, and it is not working well with my Asthma, but I am a damn sight better off than people to the east, west, and south.

"Don't leave through Dessert! No fire!" Squeak shrieked, while visions of sugar-burns danced through his head.

In contrast to his companions the Artificer took a moment to survey the hoard. It was easy to look past the gold and silver - currency had only really become relevant relatively recently, as before that he had lacked the legal footing to purchase goods and/or services. 'If nothing else, maybe someone tried to take out this dragon with a dragonbane weapon?'