The Man with the Golden Sun.
The bloated and self-serving cinematic biography of an ancient mayan king who wrote in the most turgid style. The gods weep !
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The Man with the Golden Pun. An obscure but hilarious b-movie comedy.
You only Dive Twice. A romanticized account of the life of an Olympic swimmer whose career was cut short - too short.
Doctor Go. A movie about an unassuming medical genius filipino go master working for a covert international medical rescue team called "Live 1" specializing in secret irradiated industrial disaster areas.
Thundermall. A documentary about a mall in southwest Missouri (now permanently closed) where one could hear infrequent but tremendous rolls of thunder, believed to be the creaking of a transdimensional door slowly opening into a world where Joan Bond 006-and-a-half is a secret spy mermaid operating for the scuba-landwalking special forces of the Sunken British Empire.
You seem to have stomach cramps, my dear... Let me help : if you apply your soaked-paint fingers on this blank canvas just like that you'll unify Gravity, Weak and strong nuclear forces, and Electromagnetic force in a single hyper torus of 23865 dimensions... the universe will then be reborn... and your tummy will be healed too ! The next poster is very discerning in his/her/its choice of noodles.
I see you all in my mind's eye... and I hear the unending notes of cacophonous hype-before-hype 90s ! The next poster does not care for multiclassing.
I endure. I shall be... the Last !
Mauve Pantaloon
I see the other contenders are diverting themselves with meek side interests. Only I continue to seek the Prize - and with such gnomish endurance I shall win the contest and be at last the last one to post. Hehehehehehe !
Pie in the Sky
Edgy Masklord.
No good deed can go unpunished, so I ban you remorlessly.
Banned for being a distant good-aligned cousin of Azathoth - we can't have that !
Desist !
By all that is gnomish, what's this spurious nonsense ? The only thing that matters is my thread win ! That and my superior sense of fashion which made me acquire my magnificent mauve pantaloons.
Banned for being unconvincing at banning.
Banned for being silent.
What's all this hoï polloï crowding MY winning thread ? When will you all understand that the win must be mine ? The gods of gnomish might will validate me in the end.
If it hatched... ... it would be a magnificent phenix-mole of winning gnomishness ! Allowing me to utterly win this thread.
Reiner's Blood Bowl Teams never won any ball game before he died. After, he became an unsurpassed quarterback.
Banned for having been denounced by goats.
You should all bow down out my thread. You don't even sport a bow tie.
I ban hammer you , because yours is a lovable grinning face one wants to ban !
Ha, a new contender !
When I did my best
And GoatToucher - yours is a vocation that endures !
And I see that the wily Pulg is still about: well-played, good Sir ! However the field remains mine !
I'm here, proudly wearing my blue lavender gnomish Pantaloons of Daring Superiority, returned from the Ages, and I say to you :
The Disney Villain Council is banned because it's about time !
YawarFiesta is sometimes mounted like a bull.
GeneStealer Mining Corporation is banned for being a hive-minded conglomerate.
Hehehehe ! So concise. It feel so good to be me: the ultimate thread winner.
Who am I to judge, Professor ? Although freeze-dried cantaloupe would be much better with nep-tuna in my not humble at all opinion.
The next poster likes wuxia with its food.
Alive and kicking !
Wizard's apprentice
I'm Hiding in Your Closet is banned for having managed to not be banned for so long. The Banning Thread will endure !
Still babbling all of you ?
Schism is banned for making too much sense while being a Derro.
Boadicea by Enya
This thread is still going on ? ... I get it: the plan is to get the thread going till the turn of the 21st century, so we can finally see what it's all about this climate change thingie, right ? Brilliant ;-) !
I'm gonna be mastering a session of B/X D&D to my wife and our eleven years old kid... Real Soon Now (how much preparation do one really needs for the first ever adventure of one's son, anyway ?) ! [Note to one's self: don't overdo it ! Relax ! Jeebus...]
Schism is the result of a dalliance between a Dryad and a compendium of bad halfling jokes - "The Rose Book of the Marches" - polymorphed into an attractive Elf warrior with a thong by a lonely Ewok enchantress from the Andoran lands.
Midgard Serpent is banned for being so self-referential (What's that in your mouth, hu ?)
The tatoo says:
You asked, Nosferatu Fester Addams. I'm only the messenger.
Hello, all ! Don't mind me ; just chilling out of reach of the Gnarl Fruitterbold menace. [*chirps of springtime birds, gentle love on the gentle breeze*]
[tries to set fire to the monkey with a brightly colored gnomish lighter] "Pfah ! They don't make lighters like they used to in my days !"
I'm Hiding In Your Closet is banned for keeping all the best closets to himself.
Vidmaster7 is banned because he urgently needs an appointment with his barber.
[*tugs on Vidmaster7's beard*]
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