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Spoons' whiskers twitch, as he hides behind Charli and attempts to identify the Fourth.
"See how upset this villain is? This is what happens when your days are deprived of the calming effect of Poshkettle Tea!"
Whiskers twitching, Spoons rises to the challenge. 'How is a raven like a pot
Come now, let's take stock:
Both bird and pot are often black
Both are majestic, make no mistake.
Spoon's ears twitch as he takes a moment to listen. "Wait... There's a strange pattern in the noises around us. The sounds of the animals and the rustling of the leaves all sound unnaturally harmonious, like a song performed by the collective life forms on the Drift beacon, and certainly not a natural occurrence. This level of synchronicity, right down to the basic movements of the smallest flora and fauna, likely means that life forms living on the Drift beacon are all an important piece of the Drift beacon’s function, like a part of the code within the Drift beacon’s operating system." Then he smiles. "This reminds me of the glory of a finely blended pot of Poshkettle Tea!" Then he drains his cup, and puts it in his pack. "Let's do this!'
"...aim for the springy moss over there!"
Charli just looks at Spoons, and Spoons feels the weight of expectation on him as he frantically tries to make Physical Science calculations.
"This atmospheric field reminds me of some of the simple physics of what you can find in a tea cup. There's the Brownian motion of random particles hitting each other, the diffusion of heat, the convective action as you stir it..." Spoons's whiskers twitch, and then he pronounces, "And when you have to do hard calculations, do you know what really hits the spot? A nice, steaming cup of..."
Spoons rushes forward with some tea and food for the newcomer, whiskers twitching. "You must be starving. How long has it's been since you've eaten?" "Poshkettle Tea! It's the civilized tea for uncivilized times!"
Spoons looks with dismay at the hot coffee and blood spatters, and then gives a low whistle. "You know, part of me thinks this scene would play well in the Eoxian market. Heh. And I thought they were ghoulish..." The little ysoki's whiskers twitch as he puts on a mock announcer voice. "Gentle Sentients, when you're trying to unwind after a spot of mass murder, you know what hits the spot? A warm shower and a fragrant brew..." Then Spoons shakes his head. "Nah. Not even Zo! would touch that one."
"Decaf? Of course!" Spoons pulls another tea pot out of his mouth pouch. "Gentle Sentients, when you're brimming with energy and suffering from sensory overload, try Roselight Dream, the gentle tea with notes of fruit, flowers and white tea. Popular with children, it's the ideal bedtime tea!" He pours glasses of tea for Fitch's brood, each with a bit of added honey.
Gentle Sentients, here's a proposed seat assignment for Starship Combat: Pilot: Jerris "Maverick" Sakai
Having two gunners is useful, but we're at the level where you can easily spend a resolve point to fire everything in a single arc. So both Rani and Charli are capable of flexing to other jobs where needed.
"Did someone say a sponsorship deal?" A little ysoki wearing a Poshkettle tea apron and carrying a tea pot joins the group. His whiskers twitch in excitement at seeing so many famous people all in one place, all drinking Poshkettle Tea. "Gentle Sentients, I'm Spoons, an intern with Poshkettle Tea in the marketing division. It's an honor to meet you all! When you're exhausted and facing a full-blown drift crisis, do you know what will perk you up? Friendship and Poshkettle Tea! It's the civilized drink for uncivilized times!" The little ysoki runs off to fetch Jerris Sakai. "Mr. Sakai? My boss and her friends over there want to meet you. And offer you more tea!"
Just out of curiosity, what sort of tea is Poshkettle? Herbal? Breakfast? Black? Fruity?
PEGASUS -1 damage to Front Shield, -3 to Port, -3 to Starboard, -7 to Aft RED SHIP Out of this fight ORANGE SHIP -12 HP, glitching weapons, power core and engines. YELLOW SHIP Nothing left but wreckage
PEGASUS -1 damage to Front Shield, -3 to Port, -3 to Starboard, -7 to Aft RED SHIP Out of this fight ORANGE SHIP No damage, Taunted Gunnery YELLOW SHIP Nothing left but wreckage
PEGASUS -8 damage to Front Shield, -3 to Port, -3 to Starboard, -7 to Aft RED SHIP Out of this fight ORANGE SHIP No damage, Taunted Gunnery YELLOW SHIP No Starboard Shield, Taunted Gunnery, -12 Hull Points, Malfunctioning Engines
PEGASUS 0 damage to Front Shield, -3 to Port, -3 to Starboard, -7 to Aft RED SHIP Out of this fight ORANGE SHIP No damage YELLOW SHIP No Starboard Shield, Taunted Gunnery
PEGASUS -7 damage to Front Shield, -3 to Port, -3 to Starboard, -7 to Aft RED SHIP Out of this fight ORANGE SHIP No damage YELLOW SHIP No Starboard Shield, Taunted Gunnery
PEGASUS -7 damage to Front Shield, -3 to Port, -3 to Starboard, -7 to Aft RED SHIP No front shield, no Port shield, -19 to hull, Malfunctioning Power Core, Glitching Aft Weapons ORANGE SHIP No damage YELLOW SHIP No damage, Taunted Gunnery
PEGASUS -9 damage to Front Shield RED SHIP No front shield, no Port shield, -10 to hull, Glitching Power Core ORANGE SHIP No damage YELLOW SHIP No damage, Taunted Gunnery
As the Waves go down, contemplate your success with Poshkettle Tea and an Announced Condition!
Yo are spurred on by the newly manifesting threat. Each of you gains a +1 to attack rolls, weapon damage, or saving throws (PC's choice) for the next three waves.
PEGASUS -4 damage to Front Shield RED SHIP No front shield, no Port shield, -10 to hull, Glitching Power Core ORANGE SHIP No damage YELLOW SHIP No damage, Taunted Gunnery
PEGASUS -4 damage to Front Shield RED SHIP No front shield, -8 to hull ORANGE SHIP No damage YELLOW SHIP No damage
Poshkettle Tea would like to remind our gentle viewers about the ghostkiller liquidator disintegrator pistol, which is the next best thing to a bracing cup of Poshkettle Tea when it comes to dealing with uncivilized incorporeal guests!
Gentle Viewers, It's time to welcome your new morning with a fresh pot of Poshkettle Tea! While refreshing your spells, daily abilities, hit points and resolve points, take time to reflect on the incredible journey that we have all had together. As for the announced Arrow of Time condition... don't fret. We will come back to that announcement later, when it is more relevant! Remember to carry Poshkettle tea on all your time-warping adventures!
Gentle Viewers, It looks like we may transition much sooner than expected to Part 2. So what goes well with ghost stories and announced conditions? A refreshing glass of Poshkettle Iced Tea! So, enjoy your glass of tea while you patiently wait for the House to catch up to us!
When the House GM announces the Unfinished Business condition, the PCs feel a surge of resolve to finish what their long-ago counterparts began. Each of you immediately regains 1 Resolve Point and gains a +1 bonus to Will saves until the end of their current mission. At the GM's discretion, if the PCs are just about to finish the mission, this benefit can apply during the next mission instead in Part 3.
Gentle Viewers, When battling ghosts, what hits the spot? Poshkettle Tea and another announced condition! Let's find out what this one does!
When the House GM announces the Preternatural Insight condition, the barriers between past and present weaken momentarily, giving hints to the future. Once before the end of this adventure, as part of a 10-minute or longer rest, each of you can cast augury as a spell-like ability without spending Resolve Points. And now back to your previously scheduled ghost battle!
Gentle Readers, When tromping through ancient Akitonian ruins, do you know what hits the spot? A refreshing cup of Poshkettle Tea, and knowledge of what Announced Conditions mean for you! ★ --- ★ --- ★ --- ★
When the House GM announces the Coalescent Chronology condition, you gain insight into the strange happenings around you. Once before the end of the adventure, each of you can reroll a failed saving throw within the ruins.
When the House GM announces the Warning of Peril condition, information is relayed to you regarding the hazards within the ruins. Each of you gains a +1 bonus to Reflex saves and Perception checks until the end of your current mission. ★ --- ★ --- ★ --- ★ Poshkettle Tea! The civilized accompaniment to a life filled with Adventure!
Gentle Viewers, when you have a room the size of a tea cup, it's time to enjoy it with plenty of Poshkettle Tea!
Gentle Sentients, When embarking on a mass expedition into possibly haunted ruins, do not forget all the lovely bonuses provided by your expert preparations! Take a deep breath, drink some refreshing Poshkettle Tea, and remember to use these benefits! For your convenience we here at Poshkettle Tea have listed these rewards in two places:
I'm down for a TEA POT episode! Poshkettle Tea... the elegant beverage for all your adventures!
Ivok, thank you for adding your administrator to my hireling. I swear, this has been the best 9 fame I've ever spent in Starfinder Society, but it's only because of your administrative help that Spoons has able to so thoroughly deliver the assistance. I also love the personality Spoons has developed in this scenario. He feels so darned real!
Spoons chugs his tea, then he dives for the wiring. "HELLS TO THE NO! This town is not exploding into smithereens on my WATCH!" The little ysoki, his tea-caffeinated brain firing as he works the equations in his head, makes a split second decision. "We should be able to stop the chain reaction if I just reroute the wiring... here!'
Whiskers twitching, Spoons waves his paws in the air to shut down that magical gem. "Hey, we can't have stuff like that in a fair fight! Wait... what am I saying? This isn't a gentlemen's engagement. This is a complete and utter smackdown, but for once, I'd like to be the one doing the SMACKING!"
...And that's what I know about Aeons and Void Hags, gentle sentients. Do make certain that when you offer them tea, serve it with extra LUMPS.
Spoons sends out a message on Charli's telepathic friends network. Gentle Sentients, when mysterious mystical forces are attacking, you know what hits the spot? Poshkettle tea and... information! Unfortunately, I can only serve up one of those for you right now. The spell that just bounced off Quirk is Hold Monster, so they've got some powerful casters on their side. The black tentacle thing is a Tekhoinos Aeon... It's some kind of planar aeon creature. The crazy chick with her own hurricane is a void hag. So... How do you think the Vault Lord is controlling these things? Do they all have circlets on them? This is a ridiculously mixed-up set of creatures pulled from everywhere!
If those Mysticism checks are a free action: Then Spoons will try to identify the heck out out everything on this battlefield, since he's such a curious ysoki, and let his team know what they are up against!
Spoons desperately continues to gather data. Maybe there is something here that can turn the tide of this battle?
Spoons hangs back in the support area. While Charli readies a field hospital with Diniel, Spoons watches the coming conflict with terror in his gut. To calm himself, he brews a bit of Poshkettle Tea. "Gentle Sentients, when you are about to be overwhelmed by massive forces from a malicious Vault Lord who wants to reprogram you into a pawn in a senseless game, you know what can set the world right? A delicious cup of Poshkettle Tea! Now available in Marata Mango Matcha! It's the fruitiest!" Reviewing his advertising copy, his whiskers twitch. "Nailed it." Then he clears his mind, and reaches out in meditation as he tries to figure out what secrets the Vault still holds...
I know, right? Spoons agrees with Quirk. This has been the weirdest Society Adventure that I've been on! Then Spoons grins, his nose twitching. To be fair, though... This is also the ONLY Society Adventure I've ever been on! Out loud, Spoons clears his throat. "Me too. I was born in Tasch, though I couldn't wait to get out of there. It's another mining town."
"Hey you must be my beetle-buddy, Gigigentenk! I'm Spoons!" Spoon hands over the tea box holding the bright blue beetle. "And I brought a host gift for your collection!"
Spoons also wants to comment on the cool beetles!
Spoons looks around, whiskers twitching. "Wait, are you all telling me that we're in Ysoki Encampment and there isn't even one cockroach to catch as a host gift for Gigigentenk? I for one am not going in empty-handed." The ysoki looks around for a likely bug-hiding place.
Spoons tries to find bug that at least looks lively, and puts it in an empty tea sample box.
"The way to the Governor lies through the secretary, remember?"
It's nothing but a blank screen with the opening credits, and these miners are watching it like they were seeing top flight talent like Ratrod or Lemgem.
Interesting. Think about how much we could save on advertising if we only had to make a title sequence. At the VR parlor, Spoons says, "Got any junkbot racing? Something really exciting?"
Spoons continues his conversation with Gigigentenk, "Naw, I don't have any bioluminescent beetles on me, but I would be happy to share some photos with you." Then he pulls out some of his Poshkettle Tea samples out of his pack, and pours Nelli a spicy cup of what he thinks will be their new best selling blend. Gentle Sentients, when you have been kidnapped and mind-washed by drones, you know what can bring you to your right mind? A Steaming hot cup of Poshkettle Tea! Now available in Charli's favorite new kickass flavor, 'Eat Pike and Die!'
Having found some interesting information from the mines, Spoons eats his sandwich and tells the Governor's secretary over the comms, "Beetles are the best! I really like the bio-luminescent ones." Then he pauses. "Um, you were asking about them as pets, right? Not food?" Spoons continues. "I'm Spoons by the way. What's your name? And I would love my chicken fried, because Captain Ivok only wants us to eat healthy stuff normally. Have you ever worked for a vesk that was OBSESSED with fitness?" |
