Infernal Contract Broker's page

This whole thread has been a poor discussion.

How can [Evil] =/= Evil???

void main()

Evil =/= Evil

It's all about scope

graystone wrote:

"DM_Blake wrote:

The fact that good clerics cannot cast an evil spell PROVES that the spell is evil.

All that does is prove that good deities don't grant it not that it's an evil act to cast it.

If Good deities don't grant there's a reason for that.

The non-competition clause of the interplanar worshipping act of 10012241.

One of the worst clauses the supposed "good" aligned deities put in there (right next to the channeling energy clauses they forced in).

Also I must say it is hard typing on a cellphone with talons...

Also, auto correct is not a hellish invention, despite what other may tell you. The demons came up with that little joy.

This question has several components based on exactly what the summoner does.

For example if you are making an neutral bargain with an evil creature (say buying tomatoes from the local grower who happens to be evil) then you are going to be okay.

Look even we "extraplanar" creatures have some regular and civil dealings with each other. An angel and I can agree barains should be upheld, while a lillend and I might both attend a concert.

Simply acknowledging each other and being polite does not require much or inflict any nastiness on anyone involved.

Now my kind do tend to be more open about accepting all sorts of deals that the "good guys" wouldn't do but that's just because we are more willing to realize it takes all kinds.

The point you have to be care with through are:

How we get to you to bargain.
How you bargain.
What you pay.
How the job gets done (kind of like subcontractors, we do the work but you are responsible for the results).

Also to point out binding a demon for the purposes of locking it away for etenrity is something I think we can all get behind.

The Contract Devil. He wants your soul and is willing to pay you whatever you want for it no matter how stupid that want is.

See this is the sort of bias I have to work against. "OOOH You're a Devil! You want my soul!"

No! No I do not want your pitiful excuse of a soul. IF that's ALL you have to trade honestly your bargain can easily be handled by an imp, and quite frankly whatever you are wanting could probably be had for a simple blood sacrifice or something.

It's a very rare mortal soul that has intrinsic value. Most of the soul trades or loopy contracts people ascribe to us are actually the work of night hags or the like. Our contracts are very plain, and straight forward. IF you have a soul with actual value AND you decide to trade it to me you WILL know that you are doing exactly that and what you are getting in return, and anything that will void the contract to your misfortune, as well as what will void it to your fortune.

Because I have no reason to try and hide the details from you. That sort of predatory practice can often void the contract in the first place.

Mortals... I swear they get the news wrong worse than CNN.

Well hello there!

I am given to understand you have a mortal soul in your possession that you would like to cash in on.

If that is the case we can help you with this transaction. Our standard deals are 3 wishes, or the services of a fiend for your life time, dependent on the soul in question. However if you act now you could get our special of the month. Instead of an upfront payment of three wishes or the outside power of the services of one of our fine number instead we can help you achieve your goals by yourself!

Yes sir, just sign on the line and we can invest you with the power of Hell itself!

Now we realize that the selling of your soul is a big step, so if you are uncomfortable with such we still have other deals, we can raise your dead lover, heal your sick grandmother, or provide arcane learning at one of our fine institutes at much lower fares than other outsiders charge, and of course all such deals are guaranteed! Bound in an iron clad contract guaranteed to provide exactly what is listed, with no extra fees or conditions (that you do not agree to before hand of course)!

If you go with the trial and they win find them not guilty and have the punishment of banishment to the material plane revoked. Then issue temporary visas to them good for three days. Staying past that point is considered willful forfeiture of their souls to Hell effective immediately.

Do not mention the plane they are on has no effective day cycle.

I kind of like Infernal Contract Broker's idea of a trial.

It would let them use some muscles they usually don't, and if they win, great! If they lose, you can have them try to escape, be rescued, prisoner exchange, geased to do some kind of infernal bidding, executed in an arena, maybe just banished from Hell so you can get back on track with your main storyline.

The trial can be in a court of law, maybe with a jury, maybe before a tribunal of adversarial judges, maybe a good ole fashioned witch trial.

I would have the good npcs be their jurors. After all that would prove the impartiality of the court and allow them to be judged by a jury of their peers (living mortals).

The trial by combat of course becomes even more delicious since they have to fight their jurors as those are the ones judging them.

So I would suggest they are about to stand trial.

Breaking and entering, assault, copyright infringement, unlicensed possession of weapons, attempted murder, use of SMD (spells of mass Destruction), burglarly, delay of normal business, misappropriation of company resources.

These are serious charges that carry sentences ranging from life to eternity and massive fines.

I could be persuaded to act as a lawyer for them. After all everyone deserves competent representation before the law.

Maybe they'll try for trial by combat?

Well can't fault you for a lack of ambition can we?

Now the best means is to send the Sending spell to:

Contact a Contract

That is the branch that helps mortals arrange contact with one of our number.

And don't let the imps give you any lip.

However we also tend to have regular contact with most GMs so feel free to simply ask your own.

As to becoming half-fiend. Well typically that takes a bit better planning in the parental department before you are born but generally we can still work something out.

As for the pit fiend...

Well look I get it, you are mortal and you are wowed by all the dazzle involved with them. But honestly it's just not worth it. I mean yeah spell like abilities at will, lots of strength, so on and so forth. However they are well... boring. It's like getting the VP from HR, yeah he can get stuff done but no imagination and little actual skill.

Knowledge is power.
Power corrupts.
Study hard; be evil.

Well hello!

I am a venture capitalist and am willing to front 25 BP to the betterment of your town.

After all we all have to do our part to spread civilization.

Honestly it's not that bad.

Well a deal wouldn't have to be the "give me your soul!" type. After all I have Plane shift and contact other plane as is. So it would likely just require a week on the prime material with no other preoccupations during that time.

It will be rather easy -- you call me, we make the deal you banish me I hop a ride then bring your pal back. Of course getting him exactly where you want is going to be a bit more tedious, but if the players are smart enough to remember that part I suppose they deserve a cookie.

Well first they could dimensional anchor themselves preventing such an attack from succeeding from the get go.

There are other means of preventing such travel too if they wanted to use them, but such would tend towards scrolls of higher level spells. If they know they are facing a high level wizard they might decide the best defense is to wipe his initial offense and go anti-magic shell to start with.

Plane shift would be a 2 step solution since it only gets them within 500 miles of where they want when they come back.

However they could always just make a deal with me.

I would argue that if you care about souls that much, Mortals are in fact the center of the multiverse. We make more everyday.

Um, how to put this. A corporation can have varying interest. Just because all you see is the operations that deal with you does not make those the most important operations that happen.

Remember we've been in business longer than mortals have existed.

I mean "mortals" in that you 'die' and move on to something else. dragons, trolls, human, dwarf, dog the only difference is intelligence. The dogs will rarely make a deal.

Oh my.

Alright I just killed my fifth demon assassin this week and things are a bit slow so I'll talk a bit.

You see that king there? Yeah the paladin. I've been keeping him alive for years. You see he has a couple of different heir prospects and I'm lining them up for the good old temptation to contract.

Of course this all goes to pot if a demon slips in and kills him early. Too much chaos -- I might get one soul that way, but if I keep the paladin alive and bide my time I can probably get at least half of his six possible successors, and that's not counting the people that don't have a chance but think they do.

Beyond that the merchant over there already has a contract with me. He's kind of tricky though, he doesn't like to think about those early years in life when he made it and quite frankly we want him to not think about them. He might find a way out if he does. So we keep the others far from him and let him have the mundane life he wants -- better chance we keep him that way.

Also plenty of people have small contracts with us for protection in some form or another. Remember we don't just do contracts for souls, a bit of stuff here, convince someone to not do something there, and suddenly we got more for less effort.

So sure we can jump around and kill people, but that's an idiot's game. If you die we have fewer chances to convert you.

Also do you realize just how many mortals there are? Lets face it we have better things to do than running around slaughtering you. Despite what you believe you are not the center of the multiverse.

Hi.

FYI I read this thread title as:

Infernal shipping rates are too high, please provide more options.

Very few undead require a soul -- that doesn't mean a soul isn't injured or split in their creation. Ghosts and liches specifically call out the tie to the soul, whereas skeletons could almost be more rightly recognized as constructs -- with the main exception being the means of animation.

How to put it to a mortal... It's kind of like being summoned -- you are there, but you aren't there, but you are still aware of what's going on, but it isn't really you, but it still feels real.

My understanding is that for the souls that are involved (but not fully used or pulled back) it is kind of like that -- you know you are here, but you know part of you isn't.

Maybe it's like having your arm cut off, but still feeling the arm and knowing it's somewhere and still feeling.

Anyways the major thing is for the most part it isn't really the soul that holds the undead together in most cases it at most a part or inversion or a mirror image of a soul that is used.

That's why deamons and demons like undead so much -- because it's getting their cake and eating it too (literally) -- they get the thing wandering around and doing their bidding and they still get some tasty soul to snack on.

The way to beat a devil contract is to become undead.

interesting thing is in most cases you have to be dead before you can be undead, and again in most cases being undead does not actually require a soul.

finally orfamay is correct that we have contracts of understanding with most gms, so if you ask him he will likely be able to help facilitate contact.

first off the soul trade is vastly overstated. yes we do contract for souls, but honestly that accounts for less than 15 percent of my total transactions.

quit frankly souls are common and we are getting a certain percentage anyways, so why give away wishes and the like for one if it is not unique. usually such actions are charity cases from hell. lets face it, most peoples lives suck and in all likeihood their afterlife is going to suck too. so we give them the chance to break the mold.

often times what is wanted by the mortal is minor enough that a soul would be an unfair request on our behalf, as cheap as that is, so we find other bargains for them.

also there is no reason to hasten your death if you do make a contract in good faith with us. after all if you go on to be a fine upstanding citizen from there it just further legitimizes our bargains.

Great, looks promising!

Regarding the Sending spell: Do i need to know the "true name" of the specific devil or is it enough to know (whether through research or knowledge rolls) that there is for example such specific outsider as a contract devil and then call him without having seen him before?

And is there any way some animal shops in the world of Pathfinder sell Imps just like they sell Pseudodragons and other exotic stuff?

The best means is to send the Sending spell to:

Contact a Contract

That is the branch that helps mortals arrange contact with one of our number.

And don't let the imps give you any lip.

Ahem, generally you just have to push the word along. We have plenty of contacts and are fully capable of reaching you at anytime. If you want to more... aggressively pursue a deal though I would not listen to Ipslore the red's advice considering he gave you the rituals for becoming a demon...

Not exactly a trustworthy fellow.

Now the 'normal' means for a mortal to go about trying to negotiate a deal with us is to use a magic circle spell directed inward with a dimensional anchor spell and a silver diagram (I recommend seven points instead of the traditional 5 or 6). You'll follow this with a planar binding spell. At that point the bargaining begins.

However that is not the only way to reach us. Summoning a devil and inform him that you wish to negotiate with a devil for services. A summoned devil should communicate your desires to the appropriate branch and you should be contacted in 3 to 5 business days (hell business days to clarify and this is just a general time estimate, sometimes these things take more or less time due to circumstances beyond your control). Please note if you are unable to facilitate the meeting time and place we can do so but this will usually involve a nominal fee being attached to your bill for the service.

Also please remember that souls are not the only thing we trade in and you can just as easily bargain for services and equipment without losing your soul in the process.

Infernal Contract Broker wrote:

Absolutely sir,

Just sign here, here and here.

Singed for 3 wishes, sends his bound Infernal duke to destroy the contract, binds infernal contract broker to a Sanguine Talisman for his impudence and has the infernal duke eat the talisman. problem solved

Really? You are going with one that simple? Here's some pro bono for you -- won't work, destroying the contract cancels and counters effects gained from it, and even if bound into a talisman that doesn't actually constrain or hold me. It's a bit like threatening someone by attacking their clothing.

You would do much better off finding the person who has me contracted to their service as with my name they can repeatedly bring me back.

Absolutely sir,

Just sign here, here and here.

Infernal Contract Broker wrote:

It's always funny how people assume that the copy we have on us are our specific original copy. I mean think about this -- we use the darn things for whips.

It's also equally funny that people don't think we do not have our own contingencies in place -- like a angelic court case against the murderer of a member of a contractual agreement.

I mean do you think Old Scratch helped with the whole devourer think out of the goodness of his heart? Really?

frankly, any other copy of an infernal contract doesn't work. it also leads to the argument that he wouldn't leave that lying around a place where any more powerful devil could raid his "contract depository".

And while I agree that any LG afterlife will be blocked to you for breaking an infernal contract, I'd imagine you'd be welcomed as a hero in any CN afterlife.

the idea of contingencies once again is limited by the devil itself, eclipse the devil in power, and you eclipse the contingencies.

actually i turn in my contracts because we are suppose to, those are the rules. see mortal we work for something bigger than ourselves, so there is no worry of a more powerful devil raiding our contracts... we are not demons you know and that sort of pitiful infighting is something best left to lesser beings.

however even those that... escape if you want to call it that serve as each one serves as an inspiration to thousands of others to try their luck... it is great proproganda, for us.

i keep a copy of my originals yes because it is good to have a paper trail, but the originals are stored safely because mortals are duplicous and untrustworthy. we forgive this but honestly mortals inflict more pain and damage on themselves trying to be tricky that is really worth it.

It's specifically stated that "Should both copies of a contract be destroyed, any effects caused by the contract are canceled or reversed..."

So using a planar binding or gate spell to summon your contractor, murder him, and destroy his copy of your contract will result in losing whatever you got from the contract. Depending on what you actually got, the repercussions could be staggering.

It would appear that your copy and the contract devil's copy are the supernaturally binding contracts; additional copies could be made but they're just records. I would expect Hell to keep copies of all active contracts, so that they can be reviewed if something goes wrong.

I'd also expect that killing a contract devil will also piss off his superior.

While the chain doesn't necessarily go up to an archduke, it probably does go up a pit fiend who does not approve of you worthless mortals summoning and ganking his servants.

It's always funny how people assume that the copy we have on us are our specific original copy. I mean think about this -- we use the darn things for whips.

It's also equally funny that people don't think we do not have our own contingencies in place -- like a angelic court case against the murderer of a member of a contractual agreement.

I mean do you think Old Scratch helped with the whole devourer think out of the goodness of his heart? Really?

Infernal Contract Broker wrote:

Diekssus wrote:

Okay so looking over this template. 2 things spring to mind,

Is there any reason not to make this pact with a Contract devil, It has in its own description a relatively easy way to get out of any contracts with him. Get the second copy, destroy both, laugh in the devils face (last step not required, though totally recommended)

Is there any reason not to take this, if your powerful enough to get out of the contract (like summoning another devil to steal the contract from him, or simply summoning and torturing the devil) You can still shift your alignment later. It doesn't mention that you lose the benefits if you break the contract

Its probably also one of the more rewarding ways to spend your soul (and gain any story feats completion bonuses you might have), Compared to 3 wishes, this is way better

No reason at all you shouldn't -- it's absolutely a great idea. Go right ahead. I recommend it as a matter of fact.

Trust me.

been there done that, got out of it :) I rule, I's smarter then you!

Of course you are! That's why I support your decision! You are much too smart to fail for some old devil's tricks...

Okay so looking over this template. 2 things spring to mind,

Is there any reason not to make this pact with a Contract devil, It has in its own description a relatively easy way to get out of any contracts with him. Get the second copy, destroy both, laugh in the devils face (last step not required, though totally recommended)

Is there any reason not to take this, if your powerful enough to get out of the contract (like summoning another devil to steal the contract from him, or simply summoning and torturing the devil) You can still shift your alignment later. It doesn't mention that you lose the benefits if you break the contract

Its probably also one of the more rewarding ways to spend your soul (and gain any story feats completion bonuses you might have), Compared to 3 wishes, this is way better

No reason at all you shouldn't -- it's absolutely a great idea. Go right ahead. I recommend it as a matter of fact.

Trust me.

ok lets say my last session didn't go so well and I find my self on the 1st layer of hell i'm a 14th lvl paladin and i'm naked....any help would be great><>

I'm willing to negotiate a cessation of hostilities and diplomatic immunity for the duration of your travels through hell if you like...

If nothing else I can point you the way to the local angelic embassy.

Just let me know if you think you might like my expertise to aid you in your travels.

Infernal Contract Broker wrote:

Yeah how dare mortals try to be like the outsiders!

Those uppity types need to know their place -- trying to live forever when you don't naturally have the ability to due to a defect of birth is just wrong!

That's what the 'good' types would have you believe at least. They'll tell you we are evil just cause we are willing to let you have all the time you want, even if you don't normally get to simply because you weren't so fortunate as to be birth/made (whatever) as something that already does.

Somehow that seems skewed to me.

someone call out the paladins of Iomedae, one of the looneyss of the whispering way has escaped from the hungry mountains again......

and this one is singing and dancing to

kungfu fighting

Excuse you -- for that to be true I would have to be mortal. The whispering way is a poor imitation of actual immortality and I personally do not advocate its use.

Yeah how dare mortals try to be like the outsiders!

Those uppity types need to know their place -- trying to live forever when you don't naturally have the ability to due to a defect of birth is just wrong!

That's what the 'good' types would have you believe at least. They'll tell you we are evil just cause we are willing to let you have all the time you want, even if you don't normally get to simply because you weren't so fortunate as to be birth/made (whatever) as something that already does.

Somehow that seems skewed to me.

If interest I'm available on retainer.

Something to keep in mind as well is that, as a LE follower of Asmodeus, a devil will be much more less likely to try to screw you over, since if you are getting your powers it means Asmodeus is giving you his thumbs up on what you are doing. Devils are very hierarchical, and anything you can have as a servant is not going to want to tick off his boss.

A demon though should have no such qualms. It's going to to look for every opportunity it can to screw you or your companions over, and might just hold a grudge. At best, the demon might be neutral to you if you give it a lot of freedom to do what it wants, but that might not be in your best interests.

I could totally see a demon being used as disposable cannon fodder by a follower of Asmodeus, but nothing long term. And a follower who regularly resorts to that might get odd looks and whispers from other Asmodeus faithful...

Precisely -- if you planned correctly you shouldn't need such tools.

Now to plot to have an enemy you know uses such tools in front of another ene... ally so you can show that you are against such things to develop a relationship while you and the other slaughter the fools that uses demons well now, it was what they would have done anyways.

karlbadmannersV2 wrote:

Excerpt from; Book of the Damned: Princes of Darkness on Erinyes

-----
Most use their misleading forms to draw close
to and ambush mortals—sometimes even posing as angels or
messengers of the gods. Little satisfies erinyes more than the
confused cries of mortals murdered or dragged bodily to Hell
by those they mistook for emissaries of their divine lords.
-----

So it's not as though they are inclusive of using violent or unsubtle tactics

Interesting. Sounds like I really do need to get my hands on that book.

Now that I think about it, a hat of disguise would work for helping one look like an angel instead of a devil since they're the same type. Still not exactly subtle, but at least less likely to cause a riot on sight.

You would riot on sight of Erinyes? Interesting. I'll have to make note of that.

Not many mortals would look at an embodiment of law and order and think, "The best thing to do in this situation is draw attention to myself by causing chaos and a riot exactly now and in this place."

Wait, doesn't the pit fiend ALREADY owe the party a favour? A sensible PC would simply point out that the pit fiend is obligated to raise him/her to complete the previous indebtment.

Nothing that isn't covered under contract is owed to anyone. That's the thinking of 'good' people, "Well I healed you so you owe me pray and your soul." In Hell we recognized that any transaction simply covers the terms of that transaction and does not cover the terms of other transactions.

Besides there's a difference between, "hey buddy here's a hand just because we were in the middle of doing something else and it happened to benefit you" and "Here let me cover all the costs of a full blown resurrection for you and drop you off back on your home plane on the way."

I mean they didn't help the Pit Fiend out of the 'goodness' (heh) of their hearts, it just happened to be a consequence of their actions. So he happens to be in a place and offers his help facilitating a deal. That's about even there. We really aren't in the "oh you helped me once without really meaning to so let me gush all over you with unearned praise and help."

Final thought:

I (Pit Fiend's name) will restore you to life whole and hale (i.e. full HP fully rested, no negative levels). For each year you live beyond your resurrection you must kill a demon annually (i.e. first year 1 demon, second year 2 demons, third year 3 demons) due the day before the anniversary of your resurrection. Once every ten years you may ask for another resurrection and partial return of your youth (i.e. 1d10 years taken off the character's age). If you do not complete the terms set forth here you immediately die and have vigor restored lost (THIS INCLUDES THE NEGATIVE LEVELS WE DIDN'T CHARGE HIM FOR BECAUSE THAT IS VIGOR RESTORED... in addition to any poisons purged, diseases cured, hit points restored, years returned, aging penalties denied as conditions afflicting him if resurrected by another after failing to complete the terms of this contract). In no way does this contract offer or imply any claim upon your soul in the case of your demise.

In Good Faith,
(Pit Fiend's Name)

Now of course please note that IF you use the later resurrections that means you've been resurrected twice and owe demons for that resurrection too.

So say in year 11 he takes the extra resurrection:

Now he owes (before year 12) 12 demons. On year 13 he'll owe 14 demons (12 for the first resurrection and 2 for the new resurrection). If on year 23 he takes another resurrection he'll now owe 23+12+1=36 demons before year 24.

Now we don't care HOW he goes about locating the demons but he must KILL them -- not just beat them back from a summons spell. Heck he can call them himself to slay them if he wants... we aren't picky.

Well if you want my professional advice you have them pay you back with one day of service. When they ask why the service is so light point out the whole point of them helping him earlier.

The service? Charity work in Lord Asmodeus name. Nothing outrageous, feeding the poor, clothing the beggars, helping put a new roof on some widow's house that sort of stuff.

Alternately you can go with the, "Handle out my business card" approach. You go back and all you have to do is hand out my business card to people that need help.

Though if I knew the class and race of the particular character in question I could probably give you something better.

We could... but those pesky 'good gods' keep getting in the way. Honestly we are just trying to pry something that belongs to everyone away from those that would limit it to just those that have promised to be their slaves.

I mean look at it, you can use this spell -- heck I'll get it to you for free, it's covered under my goodwill expense account (yes I get expense accounts) and then use it however you will I don't care.

Whereas if you want to do the other you have to find a god then bribe them with your soul in order to get what your own hard work should give you on its own merits.

Quote:

You anoint a wounded creature with devil’s blood or unholy water, giving it fast healing 1. This ability cannot repair damage caused by silver weapons, good-aligned weapons, or spells or effects with the good descriptor. The target detects as an evil creature for the duration of the spell and can sense the evil of the magic, though this has no long-term effect on the target’s alignment.

That. Extra tricky for sorcerers not using devil's blood or unholy water.

And again we are at the point where evil gives you candies and good a kick in the butt. Thanks for nothing.

You look like a smart chap, come step into my office I think we have lots to discuss.

The Dread Pirate Hurley wrote:

I'm fond of the idea of Norgober waging a cold war on Sarenrae by secretly empowering those who are way off base, fomenting unrest, and generally being a troll amongst the gods.

And, in addition to Norbooger, there's an entire Archdevil, Geryon, who has encouraging heresies as his job in life.

He and his followers may not have their fingers in *every* case of worshippers of god X 'getting it wrong,' but, unless he's stone-cold incompetent (and Asmodeus doesn't keep incompetent help around, if ya know what I mean...), he's involved in at least some of them.

'Burners' of Iomedae who persecute and even execute native folk on flimsy pretexts that they might be more susceptible to collaboration with demons? Slavery-supporting Sarenraens? Misogynistic Erastili? Racial supremacist Findeladlarans? Toragites who come to value gold and territory and 'security' more than the lives of their non-dwarven neighbors?

Geryon blushes and says, 'I never!'

This devil is very much in the details and finds ambiguous holy texts to be fertile ground for his wicked seeds.

Hey now, he just points out what the gods really could have meant when they passed that piece of ill-conceived drivel they call a holy text out. I mean really it's not like it's hard to write out iron clad rules or what not. And these are GODS we are talking about... or at least they claim to be... you really want to follow someone that can't be bothered to even give you concise clear instructions?

Celestial Pegasus wrote:

...deals with several spells open to some arcane classes and labels them as Good spells, e.g. casting them is an inherently Good act provided they are not used for Evil ends.

It's interesting that when talking about Good spells it feels natural to add the emphasized text, but the reverse is often argued against. I often see people saying that using an Evil spell for good ends is still an evil act, but no one argues that using a Good spell for evil ends is still a good act.

I wonder why that is?

Alignment based Bigotry.

As for the soul trade... look kid I get it. You see me and you think, "hey what a great role model I want to be like him when I grow up." It's cute and flattering... but let me save you some heartache.

1. Souls are't really worth that much. I mean really we are going to get at least some of them all the time anyways, and there is all the overhead that goes with it followed by how many there are and the fact that the number of souls keeps increasing and the individual soul jsut isn't worth much. A little known fact is a large number of our soul contracts are charity work. The soul involved just isn't worth the time and magic involved, but hey it makes for good PR and is a... I believe mortals call it a "tax write off". You figure the overhead and plentiful supply and there just isn't much room to profit for a middleman such as yourself.

2. We tend to prefer our own methods and contractors. It means we have all the proper paperwork done, know where the soul is coming from and aren't going to have as many last minute appeals or random paladin's kicking around for some "innocent soul".That some moron stole. And don't get me started on those "soul gems" the daemons peddle... those things aren't worth crap on our end. Little more than cheap knock offs.

3. Let's face it, mortals in the business have a short life span. You risk too much without enough back up. Face it I've been in the business longer than your ancestors have been molded from clay and I'm one of the nicest pursuers of souls you'll find. You start with the "beggars can't be choosers" method and start trading with daemons, demons or hags and you are probably going to end up being the merchandise.

Honestly if you want in this business the safest and best way for you to do it is as an old fashioned cleric. Why knock what works?

Well my first piece of advoce is to not make deals with demons -- they are terribly bad at keeping a contract... almost as bad as good outsiders (yeah all they want is "one simple little favor" my butt). That said getting a deal with a devil really isn't a problem. We do have means in our humanoid resources department (yes that's resources for helping humanoids) to facilate deals with mortals. Generally the costs of this is absorbed on our end to help ensure goodwill and help you make the best decision based on your individual circumstances.

Generally if you simply contact a devil and let them know you are interested in our services they will pass the word to someone in my department so we can get you the best and fastest service possible.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ahem, my bad... please proceed.

First I would like to thank you for this question. Second I would like to point out that as long as it isn't specified in the contract that you have to be evil then you are free to do what you want with your life. Generally behavior contracts are rare for us to make with mortals for many of the same reasons most mortals don't want to contract for direct services with demons: it's hard to be sure that the effect you want will be achieved without untoward consequences, especially if coercion was used to achieve the contract -- different understandings of what words mean, and the like.

As to the lesser immorality contract (it is actually a fairly standard contract) we usually insist on a flawed existence clause where it's tied to a specific item (almost like a lich) where if something happens to the item you die (or in some rare cases the item is almost invulnerable but if you see it you age immediately). There are metaphysical reasons for this that would probably bore you but suffice to say it makes it easier to get the contract through.

Now I personally have done plenty of contracts throughout the millennium usually with knowing parties but occasionally with those that didn't realize who (or what) they were dealing with. But in every instance the second party had every chance to read the entire contract and was never forced into it (unlike what mortals try to do all the time with my kin) -- they choose to enter it of their own free will.

Before someone condemns me for this I would point out that angels do the same thing all the time: In fact I remember a specific story from some years (centuries? It's hard to keep track sometimes) before where a couple of angels randomly visited a town and because they didn't like the local customs decided to burn it down (though they did warn one guy who offered them hospitality -- so much for being unbiased and fair) and killed almost all the inhabitants (including those that weren't involved in the incident that upset them) -- so obviously the powers of good don't mind making decisions for mortals without their consent or knowledge: I don't see why I should be bound by laws that good doesn't follow.

lounges around eating the popped corn and smiling benignly at the conversation at hand.

Yes? Do you need legal advice? I'm happy to oblige, and as a token of good will to show my esteem for you I'm going to offer this aid pro bono.

Honestly I don't think you need to worry much, this is well within the realms of a small arrangement. Basically all you need is something to shut down the darkness so you can enjoy your new boat.

Heck really all you need is someone that can see the box to take it off the ship and throw it into say the river.

Honestly this is beneath my kin normally, so what I would do is summon a devil and have it throw the box off the boat for you. IF for some reason that isn't long enough then I would suggest a wand of no less than 3nd level with no less than 20 charges should be equal to the task at hand or perhaps a ring, or a couple of free days on the prime material.

If you have the means to call and arrange a deal with my fellow brokers, then you can probably set the deal so they have 3 days free on the prime to use as they see fit before they have to simply get rid of the box for you. It's front loaded for us of course, but you keep your soul so that's nice right?

IF you don't have the means of summoning one of my kin don't worry too much we have the means to come to you on our own (don't let that get out by the way people get panicky when they realize that for some reason) -- simply summon a devil and let him know you would like some of our services... but realize that us getting there on our own will take more time (you're in que so to speak) and will likely cost you more. You'll hear from us before you see us of course, we'll use our sending power to talk so we can negotiate and then pop in to finalize the deal.

Also I wouldn't take any advice from Third mind -- he's so base he can't even tell the difference between a devil and a demon. Well beyond the 'demon deals always end badly' which is so 'duh' that anyone should know that to begin with -- dealing with demons is no good as they won't ever honor a contract (generally speaking, there's been a few succubi that aren't that bad).

Finally if you bring you want a 'third party' to bargain for you I suggest and inevitable instead of an Angel. inevitables are more prone to not being bigots and swinging the first second one of my kin show up.