GeneStealer Mining Corporation's page

Chaos it is then, though The Ruinous Powers would try to keep their distance from you.

What is this about Space Marines? Is GoatToucher Loyalist or Chaos?

Also, are we able to make trade agreements/investments? The Blood War is going slow.

Remember, a slow war is really bad for business!

However, he couldn't deny the results of the mining operation.

*"Ah, yes, I tried to make up for a previous poster that I cheated a little bit by including all of the heroes."*

Meanwhile at the Hall of Justice, Superman was telling Xukong that he shouldn't be so pedantic and that the league doesn't need another God Damn Batman!

Meanwhile at the Hall of Justice...

Kat's Eye tries to join the league by arresting Lucija Lal Rani.

We have decided that JTDV is banned for having plain sight.

Twenty thousand leagues under the brea.

Observation, questions:

1. These strange shorts I found in your wardrobe, that keep sparkling and change colour, what in the crab nebula are they?

2. Come on, the shops are closing soon. Haven't you finished with your shopping list yet?

3. You're trying to obtain a living dream? Surely you realise that, by definition, that contradicts reality right?

Solution, answers:

1. It's a long time, to be sure, but I have no regrets. Besides, that genie had it coming!

2. Not even Goattoucher would misunderstand the phrase "fanfare".

3. Stop talking to me, I don't even you!

Everyone is always busy, doing what they do best. And everyone thinks that they've won.

Don't you dare confuse us with your kroot mistresses, uncle!

*Comte de Malodor gets an uneasy feeling as he discovers both Lady Blackmoor and Dowager Comtesse de Malodor are standing right behind him, with disappointed looks on their faces.*

Besides, OUR duty is the maintenance and repair of all the tectonic fragdrills that YOU convinced us to build!

*The image of Count Reiner Heydrich appears and watches everything going on.*

"I know that MY family have no such thing as 'familial ties' but to think that Comte de Malodor doesn't have them either is a bit sad really."

Grandmother, what happened to grandfather anyway? Also, please help us, uncle is being mean again!

*The entire GeneStealer Cult bows before Dowager Comtesse de Malodor.*

Our deepest apologies, great one.

*A small group of metamorph hybrids instead say: "our deepest apologies, grandmother".*

*Ruthlessly beats up Comte de Malodor, rendering him incapacitated and his wife and sister are laughing at his predicament. Then gets the orders directly from Dowager Comtesse de Malodor and executes it to perfection.*

The tower is down, great one, the tower is down!

*Stands to attention.*

Just two questions: why are you giving us orders? We only obey your mother. And two, why are using weapons created by Dr Baphomet (GoatToucher) to attack a structure made by him as a gift to your mother?

*Drill, harvest, refine, sell, locate, infect, prosper.*

*Energy shields fade away.*

Crisis has ended, scans indicate that all personnel and uncontaminated supplies are safe. Presence of supplies that are contaminated is negative, begin operations when area is clear.

*Delivers a bouquet of man-eating, carnivorous plants to GoatToucher in genuine thanks.*

*A small gang of cultists bundle Comte de Malodor and roughly force him out of the uniform depot (with the GeneStealer Cult sending in some servitors and familiars to correct the mistakes and make some much needed improvements), away from the storehouses that contain all of the merchandise and throws him face down onto the ground (with the mud making him look really terrible).*

We do not tolerate anyone to go near ANY of our supplies, especially unauthorised personnel who dare to touch it in THAT manner!

*Comte de Malodor is then injected with a special substance that makes him completely bound to the will of the GeneStealer Cult (as well as being forced to obey any order given to him by his wife, sister or mother).*

A cult of bison riders.

A _____ of kaiju slayers.

The rules of the GeneStealer Cult state that names are only given to the patriarch, but those born of the 3rd and 4th generation can forge an identity for themselves (as they are the most human) and of course, those who are indoctrinated into the fold already possess names. As for your question, yes (like all living things) we have backsides and whilst that isn't a rude question, it can still be a little uncomfortable.

*Meanwhile, another servitor attacks and kills someone who is stroking the ammunition and minerals. No surprises that it was Comte de Malodor and his wife just watched on, laughing at his misfortune.*

*A genestealer servitor cautiously approaches Lady Blackmoor with a large glass of fresh gin fizz to give her.*

Please accept this gift.

*Meanwhile, in the Abyss...*

Push forward! Slay every last Qlippoth that dares to stand against us!

*Through the blurry haze of gunfire, rotating blades, the angry growls of machinery and the yells and war cries of fearsome genestealers and devout cultists, ancient evils are being torn asunder to make way for new, even greater and more terrifying evils.*

Let us all praise she who is our God, she who is our saviour! May she who devours all who defy her, join us as one consciousness, one voice, one spirit, one mind, one vision, one goal, one conquest!

*Offerings are then made in honour of Dowager Comtesse de Malodor.*

Hostile activity detected, prepare tribute to aid in negotiations.

*Food, gemstones and other valuable minerals, slaves, ancient texts, high quality machinery, well trained soldiers/workforce and multiple trinkets are placed in the export chute. Ready to be sent to Dowager Comtesse de Malodor.*

Activate primary safety protocols, have secondary safety protocols standing by if hostile activity does not cease. Keep monitoring new host, accelerate gestation process if necessary.

*Cultists enter the gestation chamber with bountiful amounts of food and various luxury items and other things needed to keep Lady Blackmoor content.*

The host must remain in healthy condition, the generations depend on it.

A potential host for new generations has been located.

*Cultists teleport to Lady Blackmoor's location and bring her back to the main base.*

Host has been acquired, begin the procedure.

*Lady Blackmoor is injected with the cult gene-seed and then placed in the gestation chamber.*

Continue with mining operation, newly acquired host's progress will be monitored at all times. We expect the first generation to be born within the next few weeks.

So there is life on this thread after all. Excellent, now we begin operations to harvest the rock for precious gemstones and other valuable minerals. While we're at it, we should probably also look for some hosts to help expand the company's growth and development.

*Two dozen mining trucks roll up and a large drilling platform is set up.*

Let's get to work then.

*Drilling commences.*

Because JTDV is incredibly large, we mistook him for a planet and promptly started mining his body for mineral resources.

The procurement of KahnyaGnorc's soul was most vital for a trade agreement with the forces of Abboden in order to gain their assistance with setting up a mining industry in Nirvana.

The next poster has been hired to find either an outer plane or an inner plane for us to set up another mining industry.

Outgoing transmission to designated recipient "Uncle GoatToucher".

We are new to this sector of the multiverse and do not yet have a full understanding of map layout as of the time this transmission has been sent to you. So far, our enterprise has located all nearby Dwarven Asteroid Mining Operation Companies and (via an extensive "business development", space dwarves - or as we call them "squats" - are not the best at diplomatic relations) taken over the facilities from the previous owners. Is there any other colonies we can "form trade agreements with" and what of planets to set up operations on? Is there any particular mineral that once mined is worth a lot of money?

We eagerly await your response.

Ryth'Klik, GeneStealer Patriarch and CEO of the GeneStealer Mining Corporation.