Almighty Janitor's page

Me-speed, you madman.

Yup.

<longsuffering sigh> Alright, I'll get a bucket.

Vanykrye wrote:

It's called hope. I blame Cosmo for the existence of hope.

>_>

<_<

{quietly plonks quarters into jukebox, selects 7 consecutive plays of Veggie Tales "Hope's Song", then 1 play of Tom Jones' "It's Not Unusual"...}

>_>

<_<

{...and then 13 more consecutive plays of Veggie Tales "Hope's Song"}

Yeeeeeeep.

Same shit as always.

<mops up Tac's drippings>

Under construction.

Look at this mess I gotta clean up.

*dons mask, mops up lutefisk*

The Vagrant Erudite wrote:

"pick yourself up by your bootstraps, anyone can do anything"

uncontrollable twitching, suplexes a vending machine

Gorram it, I just got that installed! And now there's RC everywhere! It's gonna be a sticky molasses for a week!

Oi, you. You're the one what's been trackin' mud all over my fresh-mopped floor? C'mere!

NobodysHome wrote:

The Game Hamster wrote:

I can understand the principle of needing a house code, especially in cities where a fire or something could spread rapidly, but denying a permit to a house owner on the grounds of not being a professional seems a bit illegal here in the US.

It would be a bit like saying you can't change your car wheel or brakes if you aren't a professional mechanic

Think "lawyer".

"Oh, yes. It's perfectly legal for you to change your brakes. You just need to apply for this permit."
"Oh, I'm sorry. Your permit was denied. No, we don't have an explanation. If you want, you can file an appeal and we'll get to it in 6 months."

Banning through red tape, rather than legal grounds.

Lawyers are a special kind of demon. Fortunately they hate getting whacked by a flaming wet mop.

So, hell's where y' ended up. Had high hopes for ya, boy. Y' disappoint me.

...runs through, kicks over the bean curd. Runs off...

Siiiiiiiiiiiigh.

<retrieves mop>

What do I do at 6:30 a.m. on a vacation day?

I go to the hardware store. For fun.

Goin' to the goin' to the goin' to the goin' to the HARDWARE STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!!!!

Who the heck wouldn't stop?

Victims of the sociovirus Occupatus lookbusius, which causes its hosts to experience vivid hallucinations and delusions such as "getting more work done is better than not getting work done, even if the work I'm doing is wrong!" and "I'm sure the boss will appreciate me using my time productively rather than just sitting around".

Sadly modern corporate culture is a fertile breeding ground for O. lookbusius, and many places even actively discourage treatment and obstruct efforts to develop a permanent cure or vaccine, claiming the virus "has positive side effects that mitigate and in some cases completely outweigh its negative aspects".

Meow!

sprays FaWtL

GO ON! GIT! *swats with interstellar mop*

Orthos wrote:

I highly approve of Treppa's new avatar.

I highly approve of the axe-chucks.

I highly approve of Badger's new monster.

One of these days I'll get around to playing Borderlands/Fallout/probably a ton of other games.

fires nyc bike winter cannon

Goddammit, I just got this place cleaned up. *catches blast in bucket, mops up excess snow*

Adam Daigle wrote:

*Gets the mop to clean up head explosions.*

Sneaks into janitor's closet, squeezes goop from mop head into a bucket, tip toes out of Paizo offices with bucket, having animated conversation with self

*sigh* Not again....

Saruman the Wise wrote:

Polite response to previous post recognising poster as long-lost brother, last seen falling into a vat of scrumpy thirty years earlier. Filial salutations and cheerful remarks congratulating said poster on the size of his bank-balance these days.

Head explodes...spectaculary

Cleans up and disposes of remains.

*distributes umbrella-hats*

And He does too, my son.

It's a livin'.

Next poster is doin' somethin' that deserves a broom up the @!&#.

Unfortunately, "enough bacon" is a theoretical concept only truly achievable by the Divine.

It's a work in progress.

Also good high boots an' clothes what don't stain or worse absorb.

You learn t' wear a mask in this job real quick like.

*beats with mop*

I'm not cleanin' up this mess.

Mop the puffins?...yeah, that makes a lot more sense than what I'm doing.

*hides "popped" puffins*

*goes off to get mop*

Yeah, that's what I thought. *broom whack*

Hey Big Guy. Congrats'lations on th' lil' blorfling.

*mop mop mop*

Paul Watson wrote:

Rysky wrote:

Cosmo wrote:

Just another day in the trenches for the tech team...

Robot Chris: no, no sacrificing today

Robot Chris: gets the carpets all messy

PMG: my solution: sweet, cleansing holy fire

Crystal: We don't need fire. I have the goat RIGHT HERE.

Crystal: The carpets will be fine. The janitor has this spray

I'm torn between which course of action I like best.

Why choose? You can sacrifice the goat with sweet, cleansing holy fire. What could be a more appropriate offering?

Be sure to use the janitor's spray to keep that fire contained, mister!

I hate ye all.

Kvantum wrote:

Robert Brookes wrote:

T-TIME DRAGONS!?

*dead from awesome*

I doubt they'll be as powerful as the ones in the last Paizo/print issue of Dragon Magazine, though those were Epic dragons using a lot of rules from the 3e D&D ELH.

Ewww... Epic level Handbook!

*barfs in trash*

Thank y' kindly fer not doin' it on th' floor. Now take it out t' th' dumpster. Y' got perfectly good legs an' I got work t' do.

Good. Now do the rest.

Lazy bum! Ain't you s'posed t' be WORKIN'?!

*whacks CF again and pushes him towards the hole* Git that patched!

*whacks CF with his mop then shoves it in his hands* Git workin' shorty. We gotta git this place SPOTLESS by tommorrah.

*selects a broom from his cart and starts on the glass*

*kicks down the door*

A'ight. Whodunnit this time? *brandishes mop at the gathered crowd, glaring through his beard*

Nnnnnnh... aaah whatever, fine. Jus' be back by curfew.

And there the lot of you are. Got out of your cages again, have we? Come on, let's go, no more loiterin' about. You had your wanderin' days back before you bit it. Let's go, judgement's a-waitin'.

*sweeps away the rubbish*

I'm a busy man, that's what.

*SOLO*

HOW'S EVERYONE DOUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!

*mop mop mop* Wrong thread, yer grace. *mop mop mop*

Right down th' drain, Boss.

*mop mop mop*

*FLUSSSSSSSSHH*

Granted, I'm going to feel pretty silly when the world ends right after I take this stupid test. All that cramming for naught.

Mayhap ya kin teach some cherubs in the afterlife.

Don't listen t' that feller. He's a hack, eyup.

Eeeeeeeeyup.

*mop mop mop*

Could ya 'least have th' decency to put some pants on before ya go on murderin' sprees, son?

*mop mop mop*

*mops up the leftovers from all the sillyness*

I am saddened to have to report the death of Tramora III Peasantsbane.

*snip*

Fellers, that's what we in the biz' call "Karma". *sweeps up the mummy dust*

*mop mop mop*

*comes through with a broom* Y'all made a mess o' this place, y'did.

Gotter keep 'er empty else yer fellahs'll run outta floor space.