Ketra's examination finds another short stairwell winding down to the floor below, and next to it a bed or nest of sorts, seemingly made from the shredded remnants of a pile of gambesons. While there is a large well-gnawed bone--a horse's femur, perhaps--the nest contains no treasure.
Meanwhile, Wallace returns his attentions to the door and a few quick, precise hammer blows break the latch. Swinging the door open reveals A\a long bridge that stretches from the door at the top of the guardhouse to a door at the top floor of the palace keep. The southern half of the bridge arches above the courtyard 30 feet below. The northern half of the bridge has a drop of only 10 feet to the roof of the castle below. The bridge is a mere four feet wide and has no handholds or railings. The door at the north end of the bridge is flanked by several narrow arrow slits, each 2 feet tall and only a few inches wide.
“Zsofia, would you please make sure the bridge is safe for us to cross?”
Sanduro waves a hand, and Zsofia fades into incorporeality once again.
The phantom glides forward and checks out the bridge.
"Yeah, and it's not like the little winged creeps need the bridge," Zsofia calls back.
"Yes, I would expect either a falling trap or projectiles of some kind from those arrow slits," agrees Garret, watching carefully.
Ketra catches back up with the group, peering around the corner to the free-standing bridge and the potential trap waiting on the other side. She whistles, impressed. "Sure the faeries didn't make this place, but wow its perfect for them. I wish I didn't have to worry about heights." She also inspects the bridge ahead for potential hazards, but waits until Zsofia's had her chance to take a look before she steps foot on it.
As she watches Zsofia's translucent back, Ketra raises a hand to the air and twitches her nose. Verun flits in to alight upon her curled fingers. "Hey Verun, think you could take a peek as well? Stay out of line of fire of those arrow slits and see if you can tell if there's anything behind them? If you're willing, of course. It's a bit of a risk."
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Verun gives a small trill of acknowledgement. Very sneaky, look and see! So sneaky. With an affectionate peck at Ketra's shoulder the little bird takes off, doing a tight circle above the bridge and courtyard before zipping a fast circuit around the main keep.
Meanwhile, Zsofia starts to drift across the bridge until a small voice--seemingly coming from the air over the bridge not ten feet in front of the phantom--breaks the tense silence.
"Oi! 'Alt right theyr, in th' namedda Queen! None may pass dis 'ere bridge, by orda 'o Ehr Majesty Carnassial!"
"Heh, tha's roit! Ent no bloody ghost gettin' tru 'ere witout us sayin' so!" comes a second voice off to the phantom's right. "Say...how come 'ol Scatcher ent devoured ya? On account-a yerself bein' a ghost an' all."
"~Well munch my molars!~" exclaims a third voice, near the open door. "~They's a whole bevy a livin' blokes 'ere! An' lasses. Oi! What'd you lot do wit Ol' Scratcher?~"
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"He had to report in to the summoning queues," Silvia replies, completely deadpan.
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"Yep, summoning queues. We served him his letter of notice ourselves." Ketra is a little more wry.
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"Aww, poer Scratcha! Din' du nuffin ta deser--"
"~Stuff it, ya gob! These lively lads n' lasses done 'em in! Ol' Scratcher got got, tha's what all the kerfuffle were about!~"
"Blimey! Mus' be a rough bunch then!"
The unseen voices pause when Wallace speaks up.
"You seek an audience with th' Queen?!" the first voice says in an incredulous tone. "After comin' up 'ere and shankin' me second favorite doggodile?! Yoir off yer rocker, mate!"
"Yeh, mayhaps we outta shank you roit back! See how lively you are when ye ent a-lively, eh?
”Your hound attacked us and we defended ourselves. You want to keep your pets alive, don’t train them to attack on sight! As Wallace says, we are here to talk to the Queen on a matter of urgency, and we do not have time for bumbling guards. Now, one of you go inform the Queen of our request and the other one can stay and keep an eye on us if you like,” responded Garret, already losing patience with this latest runaround, flickers of positive energy dancing on his fingertips as he speaks (Disrupt Undead).
"Boys, boys, boys. I ain't been alive-y for a loooong time now, and I'm pretty sure I kicked your doggodile's head so far around that Ol' Scratcher could see his own backside." Zsofia grins as she feels herself solidifying and realizes Sanduro is getting ready for another fight. "So come on out and play already! Or you could stand aside and let us pass so we can talk to the Queen. Those are your choices. I hope you pick the first one!"
Sanduro nocks an arrow and pushes Zsofia back into corporeality. "You sent that poor creature out to attack us. Its blood is on your hands, not ours. Now stand aside, or join it."
"Scratcher couldn't do the job, what makes you think you can?"
Ketra covers her mouth and laughs at 'doggo-dile'. She gets herself under control for a moment, only for Zsofia to say the word again and send Ketra into peals of laughter. "DOGGODILE! A DOGGODILE!"
"OH PHARASMA SAVE ME. HAHAHA!"
As the rest of her party start posturing she wipes tears bordering at the corners of her eyes and comments "You invisible faeries are a riot! Much better than those bowers and scrapers downstairs. Sorry about the dog-" *snrk* "-doggodile. But we really aren't here looking for a fight. Things just keep attacking us. That prince guy even tried to kill us by sending us against a snake made of teeth. You guys are more reasonable than that, right?"
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As the party stares down (?) the invisible guards, their voices draw away a bit and become more wheedling than threatening.
Aight, aight, no need to get yer knickers in a twist! We was just 'avin a giggle, right lads?"
"~Shor, shor, go see th' Queen, why not? Mebbe she'll shank you 'erself! An' o course, Scritcher ain't gonna be 'appy once he hears wot you done.~"
The first voice--seemingly the brains of the bunch--hisses in a cagey tone, "Wot's that then about 'bowers and scapers' downstairs, eh? You ent been sent by Uspid th' Usurper, by any chance?"
”That’s more like it,” says Garret, stepping forward. ”Indeed, we have heard the self-styled Prince Uspid’s side of the story, and we would speak with the Queen directly to understand her position. Which one of you is the better herald and would like the honor of announcing our arrival?” asks Garret, attempting to reset their focus from ‘should we let them in’ to ‘which one of them is more important’.
"Unnerstan' th' Queen's position...?" the invisible faeries voice carries clear confusion.
~"Fah, I ent got a head fer all this political intriguery. Th' dagger part's fun but I could do without all th' cloaks, eh?~"
"Both of ye stuff it! If these lively blighters need an 'erald, then an 'erald they're gonna get! Roit this way, you lot!"
The is a moment of silence, followed by a click of a key turning in a lock and the the door to the main keep swings open. Verun flies back to Ketra, chest puffed out proudly.
So sneaky, looked and saw! Big room, strange bug lady on a fluffy chair. Weird dog? Gator? Thing? Sit next to throne. Did not see! So sneaky.
Ketra gives Verun a one-finger high-five, offering a shoulder to rest on unless the whippoorwill prefers to keep her distance from other doggodiles.
With the door to the queen's chambers open, she shrugs "Looks like we're invited after all." She stows both her machetes and combs back stray curls of hair that had gotten loose in all the fighting. If the queen was going to end up more reasonable, it wouldn't hurt to be presentable.
She heads off after the invisible faeries, walking carefully across the bridge.
Silvia follows after, pistol held loosely at her side. "There's got to be somebody in this place who isn't eager to kill us and/or watch us die, right?"
Garret follows as well, hopeful that this Queen is more reasonable than her recalcitrant son.
Warily crossing the bridge, the party enters the central keep and finds themselves in a long hallway dotted with nests (smelly bundles of ripped cloth and assorted junk) that doubtless belongs to the various tooth faeries that dwell here.
Ushered along by the impatient voice of your unseen guide, the party is herded into the next room--while it was once a finely appointed salon, it is now in a sorry and delapidated state. Strips of loose wallpaper in this once-elegant salon are held into place by teeth jammed into the walls like makeshift staples. A folding dressing screen is patterned with lively scenes of a fat tooth fairy blessing subjects with a wooden scepter. A dressmaker’s dummy leans against it, wrapped in tulle and silk. A door leads south and another leads east.
"Wait 'ere!" your invisible guide snaps, and the sound of their wings fades through the doorway to the east, closing the door behind them. Muffled sounds of conversation in Sylvan can vaguely be heard a moment later.
As you stand someone awkwardly in the ragged salon, the dressmaker's dummy suddenly shudders and leans upright. A heartbeat later it shudders again and turns to 'face' your general direction.
"Hello. Please come closer." the dummy doesn't move, it even lacks a face or mouth, but a small voice drifts over to you.
The sudden movement of the dressing dummy is startling, but you notice that each movement is accompanied by a tiny ripple of movement from the dressing screen, like water disturbed by a pebble.
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"I don't like this one bit," Wallace whispers. "I'll leave the talking to the more diplomatic, but let me go first," he insists.
Taking a deep breath, he strides forward confidently. Let's see what this crazy house has in store for us this time. "I am Wallace Lundgren and these are my companions. Who do we have the honor of speaking with?" he bows slightly and cedes the floor to someone else.
Garret casts Detect Magic and examines the dummy to try and figure out what is going on, asking, "What manner of being might you be?"
"I am Silvia," the gunslinger adds, sketching a bow. "We had hoped to speak with the Queen Mother. Is she available?"
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Sanduro pulls the arrow taught on his bowstring and holds it steady, but aimed at the floor for now.
"Forgive our lack of manners, your most ... dentastic highness, most of us aren't used to being around royalty. I am uncertain of the proper protocol in this situation: should we move that big dressing screen out of your way for you, or wait for you to come out from behind it yourself? I'm afraid it feels like we are talking to the mannequin otherwise."
Hearing that Sanduro is on to something, Ketra looks for strings above the mannequin that would suggest that its just an object being controlled. She decides she's prefer that over more living dolls.
Wallace's introduction is met with a hesitant silence, and Sanduro's addition seems to only further muddle your unseen conversation partner, who umms and uhhs several times.
"Denta-what? Protocol? Oh no, please don't touch m--the screen. Please don't touch the screen. But...do you have any food with you? I'm so sick of teeth... Also it's nice to meet you Mister Lunken. Can I call you Wally?"
Ketra stares hard at the screen and dummy, but sees no sign of strings, wires, or other evidence of sleight of hand. The discussion in Sylvan appears to be ongoing in the next room, but while clearly lived-in this room appears otherwise empty of anyone save her companions.
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"Of course, your Highness, Wally or Mister Lunken, as it suits you," Wallace responds. Crazy, royalty, either way you allow them to refer to you as they please. He sighs inwardly at the indignity.
"Our rations are thin, however I'm sure we could scrape something together for a Queen?" he says, a little hesitantly, before looking at his allies. I hate to speak for them, but she seems to have latched onto me. Pulling his pack off of his shoulder, he retrieves a ration. Uncertain what the custom is among Toothfairy royalty, he raises it just enough to signal it is an offering but without committing to either the dummy or the screen.
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"We can leave the screen in place, of course. It is an impressive trick, making the mannequin move from the other side of the screen; I can see only the faintest ripple on the screen when you do." Sanduro is more than a little confused. "And I'm sorry, did you say you're sick of teeth?"
Not teef?
He nods at Wallace to indicate his agreement with sharing their rations.
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Hmmm...
Ketra puts a hand on her hip, more than a little puzzled by the set up. Clearly there was something going on here, but she wasn't sharp eyed enough to tell what. Verun had described a strange bug lady. Certainly the faeries looked a little like bugs, but given the speaker's hunger for non-teeth and her very different attitude from the rest of the faeries, Ketra was starting to think that something decidedly different was afoot.
She decides to take a gamble. Dropping her voice, she whispers "I know you're not actually the Queen. I'm not sure if you've been pressed into service or what, but we'd like to get the Queen's approval so we can continue onward. If you're willing to help us do so, I'm happy to help you in return."
"Who, me?!" the voice squeaks in alarmed surprise before continuing in a nervous rush. "I'm not the Queen! She's in there, talking about you with one of the guards. He says you're mean and threatening and killed Scratcher. Did you? You seem pretty nice so far and also I never liked Scratcher very much, but killing him seems like something mean people would do."
Sanduro's comment draws a gasp of surprise. "I didn't ripple! I wouldn't! I mean, um, you must be seeing things. Maybe a faerie cursed you to say silly things?"
Wallace's proffered ration evokes a sourcless noise of want and the smacking of invisible lips. "Oooohhh, yes please. But, um, please don't look." When Ketra steps in and suggests the two of your could help each other the speaker makes a small fussing sound.
"Will you give me that food if I help you? Promise? Okay. Queen Carnassial is weird. Like really weird, since her husband King Canin died she's gotten worse. I think she misses him a lot, and was gathering up the most valuable teeth she could find to try and bribe a psychopomp to giving him back! Then that little jerk Uspid found the stash and ate them all--it made him big and strong, and then he tried to take over the castle! Now the Queen mostly just cries and screams since her bribe-teeth are all gone. Can I have the food now?"
Garret seems puzzled that his detect magic spell seems to be yielding no results and spends far too long trying to scan the room for auras that might explain the strange being and rippling mirror.
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"Huh... well, we did kill Scratcher probably. But to be fair it was definitely trying to kill us. And it seemed to be really quite good at it. I swear we're not mean people otherwise." Ketra explains in a low voice to not be overheard from the other room. "Also-"
It crosses Ketra's mind that she's currently talking to what appears to be an honest-to-goodness living folding screen. The absurdity almost turns her next words into a snort of laughter, but she manages to control herself.
"-Do you know how many teeth the Queen lost? Maybe we can get her enough to lift her spirits?"
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Wallace relinquishes the food. This doesn't really clarify our situation. Damn! I was hoping the case was more clear cut than this. The Queen is the legal ruler, but apparently unfit to rule. The Prince has staged a bit of a coup, but at least their people obey him.
He sighs. "What's our plan? I think our latest information muddies the waters a bit."
Wallace set the food down before the screen. "Okay, now don't look!"
The screen ripples again, and then the bottom stretches strangely, as part of the base elongates and stretches out toward the bundle of crackers, cheese, and jerky that Wallace placed on the ground--resembling nothing so much as a long tongue whose coloration matches the decorations on the screen.
Wrapping around the stack of rations, the bizarre 'tongue' pulls it across the floor, where a toothy mouth suddenly opens and swallows the entire meal in one gulp! Muffled crunching, smacking, and wordless grunts of satisfaction can be heard.
No mere piece of furniture, this supposed dressing screen is nothing less than a mimic! Bizarre shapeshifters, mimics can assume the forms of a variety of mundane objects--chests, beds, tables, ladders, and many more--only to grab and devour creatures that wander too close!
Zsofia peeks.
Ewww. Boyo, you need to see this.
Sanduro cracks open an eyelid and freezes.
What in the Hells? I knew I saw that screen ripple, but I thought there was someone behind it, not ... whatever that is!
Silvia takes an involuntary step backwards, alarmed by the sudden display. "What in the hell?" she whispers, mostly to herself.
Ketra's more willing to entertain a folding-screen's privacy and she doesn't peek. In her imagination, the folding part is just swinging in and out to slowly grind the food to paste before it... uh, probably just disappears somehow.
She waits to see if Ms. Folding Screen answers her earlier question, and then whispers to Wallace "Well, sounds like the Queen's got a grievance. Maybe we can trick her into getting a stamp and letting us get on out of here. Either that or we go to the room we took out the snake, gather all those teeth, and present those in exchange. We did jam the door closed, right?"
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"I thought so, but with the number of fairies they have about, they could make short work of it with some determination. I think you've concocted an excellent plan, Ketra. That stamp is what we need, so if the Queen can offer it, I see we take it and rid ourselves from this place!" Wallace says, honoring the screen's request to not peek.
Once everyone is ready, he approaches the door and knocks. "Excuse me, your Highness? Would you do us the honor of an audience?"
The screen makes a whining sound when several members of the party express shock and revulsion. Swallowing the rations with a loud gulp it ripples again. "You said you weren't going to look!"
When Ketra prompts again about the lost teeth she is met by a sulky silence for a long moment. "It was a bunch. Thirty-seven teeth, and one of them was a dragon's fang, she said. I wouldn't know, but it was pretty bi--hey where are you going?" This last is addressed to Wallace, who is crossing the room and throwing open the doors to address Queen Carnassial directly.
The room Wallace has revealed is a lofty hall with two alcoves to the
east, each bearing a standing suit of spiky armor. Several teeth are affixed to the armors’ visors, forming a grin on one armor and a scowl on the other. A large throne stands between them, with mounds of tattered pillows heaped upon its seat. A door leads out to the west, but it is the throne that draws your immediate attention.
Next to the throne, grinning at you with black eyes is another esobok--this one even more heavily muscled and scarred than the one you fought in the hallway. Lounging upon the throne is a heavyset humanoid woman from the waist up and a fleshy purple grublike body from the waist down, approximately Garret's size. As Wallace pushes open the door Queen Carnassial turns her enormous black eyes towards him, expression outraged and alarmed. She wears a crown made of humanoid teeth and clutches a tooth-studded scepter, which she levels at the knight with a dramatic flourish.
"Audience, indeed! I know your dagger seeks an audience with my heart, assassin!" Leaning back against her throne, the queen places the back of her other hand against her forehead, like a diva about to pretend to faint. "Oh, but I knew this day would come! Long has that wretched Uspid lusted for my crown and the power of the seal. How predictable that the coward sends toothsome mortals to commit the deed." Her lower lip begins to tremble, and in a blubbering voice on the verge of tears she continues, "At least I shall be reunited with my beloved Canin soon..."
"OI!" the still-invisible faerie shouts at you. "Bloody impatient, ent ya? Couldn'ta waited ta be called upon, eh? Ye've gone and given 'Er Majesty the vapors, wot!"
Finally giving up his spell which neither returned the presence of magic or its absence, Garret saw the door open and heard the new voices.
Hurrying in, he spoke to the Queen, saying, "A thousand pardons, Your Majesty. We have indeed spoken to the self-styled Prince Uspid, and he does wish us to assassinate you. We have, however, not made up our mind on the matter, wishing to hear your side of the story. Our interest is only to gain safe passage along the dead roads, we do not wish to become further embroiled in your family affairs."
Ketra pats the folding screen reassuringly and then follows after her allies. Garret's measured, diplomatic words leave her hesitant to try to help. She adds "Yeah, Uspid did give me some coward vibes. But you're not like him, right?"