We Be Goblins part Uno and Duex! (Inactive)

Game Master Freddy Honeycutt

You are goblins of the Licktoad tribe, who live deep in Brinestump
Marsh, south of the hated man-town called Sandpoint. Once,
other goblins tried to burn Sandpoint down, and they would
have been legends if they had succeeded. But they didn’t bring
enough fire, and got themselves killed as a result.

The rain has started and this begins the favorite activity of the licktoads the annual frog-catching and bug hunting contest.

The goblin camp is on a small hill, the huts are dirt floored, and the goblin babies are crawling around in a pen in the middle of the village, a female wet-nurses those that crawl near the fence.

Bug hunting begins now!

I WILL LICK TEN THOUSAND TOADS!!
Cruncher barrels out of down with his axe drawn looking for something to kill and or lick.
Perception: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (15) + 9 = 24

Tidertwig and Dirtbag hunt bugs!

Wees bees gitting eats, Dirtbag!

perception: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (8) + 10 = 18

Pointing and shouting, Tindertwig rushes into a thick bush head first!

OUCH!

Tindertwig crawls out of the bush, munching on some bugs and feeding Dirtbag.

Maybe wees should take different approaches

He begins crawling over the ground, hunting bugs placing Dirtbag in front of him.

Track: survival: 1d20 + 6 + 1 ⇒ (7) + 6 + 1 = 14

He speaks loudly to Dirtbag:

Wees be shush shush, sneaks sneaks!

stealth: 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (1) + 16 = 17

Stealth: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (14) + 11 = 25
Comes on outs an play toadies

Survival: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (1) + 11 = 12

BLIKX goes hunting, looking for bug and toad tracks.

"Imgonnafindsumtodiesandbuggiesansquish'emgoodiamiam!"

Cruncher throws out the goblin equivalent of infinity times infinity......

Then notices the toad on a goblins head nearby!

No bugs yet.....

Blixx tracked a bug and got in too big of a hurry, smashing it under his floppy foot....
.....yeee ouch a spikey bug!

Cruncher dives at the toad attempting to snatch it off the other gobs head.
I've gots you now toady toad yes I does.

Grapple: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (7) + 3 = 10

Muuuch too fun forrr this one. I'lll just rrrest up and watch thhhe show.

The imperious Grippli finds a nearby barrel to rest upon as he watches the Goblins act in their usual fashion . . .

. . . idiots.

Tindertwig and Dirtbag continue to crawl along, expertly searching for bugs.

The intent is to put them all in his pouch, but they keep eating them!

Bugs bugs wees likes'em so!

if u r referring to Dirtbag...grrr!

Tindertwig jumps up immediately and grabs his toad and puts him safely into his vest.

Yous not bees hasing fun if yous keeps that up!

"Buugybuggybuggabuggabaaaaaaaa!"

Perception: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (16) + 7 = 23

Lookin' for bugs or frogs...in any ole place.

Blixx finds fat juicy ticks attached to the goblin dogs!

Glim circles around a knot of toads being as silent as possible. He then jumps to grab them.

Stealth: 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (17) + 16 = 33

Grapple: 1d20 + 0 ⇒ (17) + 0 = 17

"Surprise!" He yells.

Gretcha shrieks in delight as she looks around for toads.

Perception: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 1 = 3

"Imma find you toadies!" she screams. "GOTCHA!" she yells, pouncing on a rock that looks nothing like a toad, and licking it frantically.

Tindertwig laughs loudly as he sees Gretcha licking a rock.

Hahaha! Yous no hows to hunt...watches mees do it

He then crouches down low, with a serious 'hunting' facial expression.

Moving along slowly and quietly, Tindertwig searches for a toad.

perception: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (11) + 11 = 22

Screaming, Tindertwig runs and dives into another thicket of bushes:

OUCH!

He pokes his head out with a toad thrust forward in his hand!

Mees great hunter. Yous learns from mees

The antics continue, with Glim getting a toad in each hand!

"Hows you does that?" Gretcha asks, eyes wide. She snatches at the toad, attempting to grab it out of his hand.

Grapple/disarm/whatever: 1d20 - 2 ⇒ (18) - 2 = 16

Cruncher dives once again at the toad he is "stalking".
Grapple: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (18) + 3 = 21
Sneaky sneaky toadsies, I will lick you over and over and over and over again. HA!
Cruncher grabs the toad off of the other goblins head and licks it furiously before putting it in his backpack and looking for another.
Perception: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (16) + 9 = 25

Cruncher becoming bored with his current toad, searches for another.
Glooper! Glooper is a toadie yes he is.
Grapple: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (11) + 3 = 14 Cruncher Dives at the grippli wiht his tongue waggling around getting ready to " lick the roadie".

"Gotsumfatlittleticksfullagobdogbloodfatjuicytickiesmineomine."

He shows them to the chief, then promptly eats them.

He looks around for toad tracks.

Survival: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (16) + 11 = 27

Tindertwig looks around, eyes wide with his fingers holding his eyelids open.

Mees sees good. Not bugs or toads hides from mees!

perception: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (15) + 11 = 26

Glooper observes the mayhem focusing mainly on the strange Goblin with the toad pet. As he chuckled a bit at Tindertwig's dive in the to bushes, he barely noticed Cruncher diving his way with only enough time to brace himself for the impact. (CMD = 12)

Oh crrrap!

"You teeches me, yes! Teeches me to see things good like you!" Gretcha holds her eyelids open with her fingers like Tindertwig, looking around for bugs and toads.

Perception: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 = 5

"TOADIE!" she screams, pouncing on the same rock she'd seen earlier.

Tindertwig falls over laughing at both Glooper and Gretcha!

Yous being so funny! This be the greatest games ever!

He finally gets up, pointing to a thick set of bushes.

See in there. Many bugs and stuffs. Watch

Tindertwig runs and dives into the bush!

OUCH!

As the bug hunt and toad licking get started a surprising thing happens, the horns from the villiage sound signaling some trouble! The bornfire is built in the center of camp and chief gutwad looks very upset as two goblins hold a third goblin face-down in front of the fire.

Chief Gutwad is standing over him …..
”StankTaint, you has broken us lawses!”

Cruncher licks Glooper twice more right on the eyes an then runs over to see what is the matter.
Whats eez goin' on. StankTaint eez no Toadie.

BLIKX runs over to watch the proceedings.

"BreakinthelawsbteakinthelawsHaHabreakinthelawsbrrakinthelawsHaHa...Stupid. "

The contents of Stanks hut lay on the ground near the bonefire, a large trunk is busted open and a book and vial of ink and quill lay on the ground as well....

Chief Gutwad
” StankTain youses makes bad mojo yous writing!”

Several gasps of surprise come from the tribe, as all goblins know that writing can steal words out of your head and thus snatch away your soul.

Tindertwig pokes his head out of the bushes to watch the proceedings.

stealth: 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (20) + 16 = 36

perception: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (16) + 11 = 27

He has a serious look on his face.

Why do I stay here, Glooper thinks to himself as he wipes the slobber from his eyes.

And what's this nonsense about? Mad mojo? Writing? What foolishness.

Glooper stands, brushes himself off, and moves towards the commotion for a better look, all the while making sure to glare at Cruncher any chance he gets.

Gretcha runs over to the gathering, her tattered longshanks pants-cape getting tangled around her ankles and tripping her. She gets up and follows a little more carefully. "StankTaint was writing?! Why he do that? He don't like his soul?"

Glim sneaks over to get a close view.

Stealth: 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (4) + 16 = 20

Writings not so bad. You may lose a little of your soul, but you gain the souls of others. It's a wash really. He thinks to himself. Glim has dabbled in trying to read himself. He would never admit openly, however.

"He's a witch! Burn the witch!" He shouts, hoping his fervor to punish StankTaint will cover up his own literacy.

The chief takes a hot knife and brands/cuts some things from the goblins book into his face, forehead and both cheeks.
Chief gutwad
”You now know as scribbleface, you leaves village and never returns.”

The Goblins cheer and grab up the goblin and carry him out of the village…..
Suggestions on where to take him are welcome…

StankTant screams whaen he hears someone recommend throwing him in the fire.....
"No chief says banished not killed."

Tindertwig watches silently from his bush.

"Yeah! Get rid of bad words!" Glim shouts.

I wonder what it was he wrote? He thinks to himself.

Scribble face is bad, if Cruncher sees Scribble face again he will remove the scribbles from his face along with his skin.

"Throw into ocean."

"Feed to many legs eats lots a goblin babies."

The reference to the local giant spider throws a hush over the crowd......

"Ocean!" with that a surge of goblins takes off with scribble face tied to a log.

"Heaintgonnabeswimmintiedtathatbigstickhehehehehehehe!"

BLIKX turns and waves to the crowd carrying Scribbleface away.

Tindertwig regards the possession with an amused, but silent look upon his face.

He remains hidden in the bushes, appraising the next move from the Chief....

"Drown the witch! Drown the witch!" Gretcha shrieks in excitement, skipping in a circle until she trips over her cape. "OOF!"

While hiding in the bushes, Tindertwig amuses himself by crafting a trap.

craft trap: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (15) + 5 = 20

I don't believe I'll ever understand this tribe.

Glooper leaned back against a tall barrel. Flicking the reed in his mouth back and forth, he let out a small series of croaks much like a human whistles. To the side, he noticed Tindertwig crafting away.

Seeeems you arrrre as uninterested in thhhis affffair as myself. So, whhhat arrrre you up to in thhhhat bushel?

Tindertwig looks over to the Grippli with a broad smile on his face.

Wees be putting fun surprises for stupid Gobos!

He gets a strange look on his face and points to Gloopers musket.

Yous good wit bang booms? Yous teach mees to use bang booms too? Wees be bestest Gobo hunters and bang boom lots of stupid Longshanks!

Tindertwig then looks around.

This is very shush shush!

Surprises? Ah, traps. And bang booms . . . my musket. I swear, sometimes it is hard to decipher their words.

Glooper sighs for a moment and then whispers in a low croak.

Ohhh yesss, very quiet. I'm suuure many Gobos will falll to your surrrprrrises but bang boooms are much more diffficult to use. It woullld take me a looong time to teeeach you.

Scribbleface bobs on his log in the ocean, a wave comes in and rolls him face down in the water.

"Drown! Drown, drown!" encourage the goblins on the edge of the cliff.

The log rolls back over and the goblins boo!

Scribbleface has freed his arms and keeps using them to right the log when it tips over.

"NO!" Gretcha shrieks. "He not supposed to do that! Bad Scribbleface! Supposed to DROWN!" She pulls out her sling and attempts to hit Scribbleface with a bullet, hopefully causing him enough pain to stop him doing that and just drown already like a good exiled goblin witch.

Attack roll: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (20) + 2 = 22
Crit confirm: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (7) + 2 = 9 (yeah, nope)
Damage: 1d3 - 1 ⇒ (3) - 1 = 2

Greta hits him in the foot causing him to howl in pain.

From inside some bushes is heard an extremely loud:

OUCH!

Tindertwig crawls out of the bushes. There seems to be some sort of contraption attached to his foot!

He sits down and he is attempting to disable it from his foot.

disable device: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (19) + 11 = 30

He smiles sheepishly and he shrugs his shoulders at Glooper.

"Take that, Scribbleface! Drown, drown!" Gretcha sings with murderous glee.

"Datscribblersgonnaswimnswimhesanangrygobbohehehehe."