Zeli launches off Mortimer's back, a glowing blue raven of death.
She charges towards the lizard, weaving eratically as she gets close, and attempts to peck at its eyes.
If attack hits:
1 point nonlethal damage
And fatigue, entangled for 1 round.
Akin to some otherworldly 'laser', Zeli heads straight to the nearest lizard creature - it gurgles something as the raven approaches, drawing a morning star, swinging and missing awkwardly.
Mortimer's flying companion is a lot more agile, but still he is not able to connect either, its attacks bouncing off his opponent's hard skin.
Mortimer will run towards the goblin that Zeli was trying to peck.
Failing to do it from above, Zeli tries a bottom approach.
Zeli lands on the ground and brushes against the toes of the lizard instead.
; hits touch AC.
On hit:
And the usual 1 round entangled, and fatigued.
Gurp takes aim, and hurls a ball of fire at the closest undamaged lizard.
Meanwhile, Squishy slithers forward and sprays acid at a random lizard.
Muttering under her breath, Twitchy grumbles. "You could have gone for a mate who thinks, but no... You had to go for the impulsive barbarian who bonks prisoners to death and wastes your tanglefoot bags."
Twitchy tries to snare another one so that they can have someone to interrogate.
As the lizard goes down, Twitchy yells, "Don't kill this one yet!"
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Medge reaches the downed lizard.
Gurp takes aim, and hurls a ball of fire at the closest undamaged lizard.
[dice=Ranged Touch Attack]1d20+4
[dice=Fire Damage]1d6+2Meanwhile, Squishy slithers forward and sprays acid at a random lizard.
[dice=Acid Touch Attack]1d20+1
[dice=Acid Damage]1d6
Gurp launches a flame through the air at one of the fleeing lizards, it flies the whole distance between himself and his chasers but falls harmlessly short in a pool of stagnant water, producing a small cloud of vapor and a hissing sound.
Squishy enthusiastically (at least as possible for a slug), follows the master's actions, but is simply too far away, and apparently distracted by a patch of green something, to be able to actually hit the lizard creatures.
Twitchy tries to snare another one so that they can have someone to interrogate.
[dice=Tanglefoot Bag vs. Lizard]1d20+7
As the lizard goes down, Twitchy yells, "Don't kill this one yet!"
As another lizard goes down in a heap, the third one continues frantically trying to scramble away, running from the goblin armada at his heels.
Twitchy already tried to save two lizards. Surely that was enough. Mixing a bomb on the spot, she throws it at the final fleeing lizard.
"Surrender or I throw another one! I hear smoked lizard is tasty!"
If he surrenders, we get another one to question. If not... I get more bomb practice today! It's a win-win!
Mortimer sprints full speed towards next entangled lizard(running), passing slightly past it.
"We need some live lizards to talk, not all bonked ones. Try some restraint please. Grab, not bonk. " Mortimer remarks to his rider.
Zeli flies after the fleeing lizard. Covering 80 ft.
Medge walks up to the bonked lizard and pokes it. "Still alive? Or dead dead?"
If it's alive she's going to tie it up with her rope.
Mortimer sprints full speed towards next entangled lizard(running), passing slightly past it.
"We need some live lizards to talk, not all bonked ones. Try some restraint please. Grab, not bonk. " Mortimer remarks to his rider.
The second entangled lizard completely trips over himself as he sees the massive cat and his goblin rider coming at him - he just lays there very still, staring at you as you pass him by.
Medge walks up to the bonked lizard and pokes it. "Still alive? Or dead dead?"
If it's alive she's going to tie it up with her rope.
Badly burned by Twitchy's bomb, the last lizard throws his hands up in the air and stops running, simply standing there, shaking.
"Turn around and run back to the ship!" Twitchy barks. "I'll follow! One false move and it's smoked lizard for dinner. Got it?"
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"Ronk, could you please help Medge with the bonked lizard? She seems a little small for this kind of thing. Ill take care of this one."he whispers surreptitiously to his rider.
If Medge hears I called her small...I'll get Medge-in-a-rage. Once is bad enough.He shudders at the thought of a raging Medge after him.
He picks the entangled lizard up in his mouth and begins to drag his lizard back to the ship.
Zeli, still a nasty glowing eldritch blue, flies around, keeping an eye on any sign of lizard treachery.
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Ronk slides off of Mortimer while saying nothing though he is looking at Mort with squinted eyes. Kitty thinks he is boss huh. Ronk will show him. See what Medge thinks of being called small.
Medge looks up at Ronk and Mortimer. "This one tied up, good captive. Need to wrap up other lizard. Then we take back to ship like good hostages, make them talk or they walk the plank!"
"Good plan! Can you tie up this one too, Medge?" Twitchy asks, following her trotting prisoner. "It can wait until we get there."
Ronk will drag the lizard appointed to him back, quiet while doing so as his rage leaves him. Now torn between tattling on the kitty whose plan wasn't that bad or watching Medge lose it on a big kitty.
The lizard creatures don't even try to put up a fight anymore, all of them badly wounded, and one of them fully knocked out cold.
"You lizards interrupted my wedding, which makes me cranky with you." Twitchy studies the lizards with her arms crossed. "So... Who are you and why were you in Dread Pirate territory? Why were you scouting us?"
She pulls out bomb components, and lays them out in front of her. "You have until I finish mixing these to start talking."
"What do we have here...delicious-icious lee-zards" Mortimer licks his lips as he eyes the lizards speculatively.
"Now are you going to answer our questions, or shall we proceed with the pleasantries?," and pops and retracts his claws in front of the lizards.
Now the lizards are all in hand, Zeli taps a nearby tree 3 times to discharge the frostbite, and losing her eldritch blue glow.
She wished Kingie wouldn't be so eager to use her as a conduit for his magic, as all that crazy riding, and evasive flying had seriously mussed up her feathers.
She flies to the rigging and begins to preen herself. Granted, she was still rainbow coloured, so the situation wasn't totally unsalvagable...
Gurp's face scrunches in annoyance. "That it? Gurp has at least one fire thing left! This stupid." He dismisses the fire mojo, and turns to Squishy. "Thank you, Squishy. That very helpful. Gurp sees why swamp bless Gurp with you. Gurp not mad, just disappointed."
The wretched lizard creatures huddle together, staring at you from behind membranous red eyes - as both Twitchy and Mortimer address them, they look at each other for a few seconds the burned one speaks, seemingly feeling slightly braver than the others - "Yth tir ti kampiun calti usv anqu exelovich"
"We do not understand cat or goblin speech"
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"Lemme look at them. Medge knows about all kinds of stuff. Might know about them...." She stares at the lizards, a look of fierce concentration on her face.
Twitchy sighs. She repeats her question in common, halfling and orc.
She attempts to discern whether they understand her in any of these languages but as usual, Twitchy just can't read body language.
"Tie them up. I'll prepare a couple comprehend languages potions." She goes off, grumbling, to get her alchemy kit. She kisses Ronk, pats Mort and Fluffer, and nods to Gurp and Medge.
"I'm going to need two hours. Keep them alive till then, and don't distract me!" She pulls out the test tubes, reagents and pipettes, consults her formulary (carefully redrawn from the original text to something with drawings), and lights her burners, setting to work with incredible focus.
Success! Twitchy brewed two potions without blowing up either herself or the ship...
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"2 hours? Urgh. Why are you even bothering? Would be a lot easier to eat them and get over with it. They look pretty meaty."
"Zeli, attend to me."
Mortimer goes off to a nice sunny corner of the ship, and sunbaths himself.
"Call me if you need them eaten. By the way, I like them lightly seared, mostly rare"
He cracks open an eye, then goes back to catnapping.
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Poor Ronk has now been left unsupervised. What shall he do? His kitty is uppity and insulting Medge and his new bride is busy with work he has to avoid. And he cannot bonk the captives! What to do... ask Gurp of course.
Ronk will head over to Gurp and quietly ask a question. Mort, while having good idea, said mean things about Medge. He called her small and needing help. Do we tell Medge? Could make the two hours pass better. Kitty also bossed Ronk around saying no bonking. Kitty is bossy!
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Gurp takes a break from berating Squishy to whisper to Ronk. "Why you think you have to ask? Tell Medge all about it. She get mad and stab strange talking cat, we eat heart and get its strength! Medge get payback, Ronk get cat power and Gurp get food. Everyone wins!"
With that, Gurp pulls Dread Overking Squishy from his pocket and places him on Squishy's head. "Dread Overking Squishy! Gurp beg you to help Squishy! Squishy very slow, and need strength of swamp spirit to get fast. Share you power with Squishy, and make Squishy fastest of all slugs!"
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Lulled by the sun's warmth, Mortimer drifts off into a pleasant daydream...
In his dream, the lizards have been chopped up, Gurp is marinating the meat with all kinds of savory swamp spices, while Twitchy is delicately grilling them over a cheerful fire. Ronk is serving him the slightly charred crispy on outside, but bloody and rare on inside lizard steaks, on a silver platter.
On top of him, however is Medge. The dexterous, agile goblin is stroking him from back to tail with her magic touch, and the pleasure and ecstasy is simply unbelievable...
His tail thumps the ship deck excitedly in response, while his eyes remain blissfully closed. Soft purrs emit from the daydreaming leopard.
"Lemme look at them. Medge knows about all kinds of stuff. Might know about them...." She stares at the lizards, a look of fierce concentration on her face.
[dice=K. Whatever? Bardic knowledge FTW]1d20+1
Uh. What they are, how they get along with goblins...weaknesses?
You'll note that I put this in spoilers for a reason...
Uh. What they are, how they get along with goblins...weaknesses?
Medge stares hard at the creatures, and even takes a sniff at one of them - she has heard of these before...
Lizardfolk are proud and powerful reptilian predators that make their communal homes in scattered villages deep within swamps and marshes, being viewed by many other races as backwater savages. However, from a recount you recollect, they have also been pictured as a vibrant people filled with tradition and an oral history stretching back to before humans walked upright.
Their powerful muscled bodies are covered in scales of gray, green, or brown, and all swim very well by moving with flicks of their powerful 4-foot-long tails, making them completely at home in the water. They do however breathe air and return to their clustered mound-dwellings to breed and sleep. As their reptilian blood makes them sluggish in the cold, most lizardfolk hunt and work during the day.
Lizard folk are known by their ferocity in battle, and those tribes who don't defend their wetland territories to the last breath quickly find themselves overwhelmed by the mammalian hordes. As for their tendency to consume the bodies of dead friends and enemies alike, the practical lizardfolk are quick to point out that life is hard in the swamp, and nothing should go to waste.
Ronk smiles showing all of his teeth with the advise given by Gurp. Looking over to see that Mort has fallen asleep Ronk walks over to Medge. Ronk quietly waits to speak until she is done sniffing the lizards and hoping that means they get to eat the lizards.
Medge? Ronk must tell you something. Mort, the kitty that is now Mine, he called you small and said you needed help like you need help catching stupid lizard. He doesn't respect the Captian and We thought Medge should know... Ronk starts to walk away with a big smile on his face that he has to hide once something occurs to him. Don't kill the kitty cause he is smart and Mine but well he did said you couldn't take care of one lizard...This should be a fun way to pass two hours. Hopfully Ronk still has a big kitty to ride into fights...Though a fluffy pelt could be nice to.
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Medge shares what she knows about lizardfolk with the group.
She’s walking back to check on the boat when Ronk catches up to her. Medge’s eye twitches as he repeats the big dumb catpet’s words. Help? Medge needs HELP with big dumb lizard?!?
After a minutes thought Medge turns and starts sneaking over to Mort…
Once she’s there she pokes the cat until he wakes up. “Hey. Cat goblin pet. Medge has a bedtime story for you.” Medge clears her throat. “Ehem. Ok. Once upon a time, Medge has a different boat. Bigger and in the sea, but still not as good as my boat here. Not the point. There, Medge is fierce awesome pirate; robbing ships, taking loot, stabbing big dumb humans. Good times.”
“But then-” Now she grabs Mort, squashes his head next to hers and throws her arm out, waving it around like she’s showing him a scene. “- there on horizon. Big storm! Biggest storm anyone ever see. Huuuge waves, bigger than boat, knocking people off ship and sending them to deeps. And suddenly, Medge is thrown off ship!” She gasps dramatically.
“Poor Medge is in the ocean, with only her wits and strength and awesomeness to save her...and yeah ok first she’s in the lifeboat with the loots but then she gets tossed out. And she’s there in the water, battling the storm with her clinging to crates that are dumb cause there’s no loot in them… not the point. Very dangerous! But Medge makes it through!”
She stares at Mort now. Her eyes look pretty crazy. “And after storm done? Medge floating in sea...and suddenly big shark is there! Dun dun dun! And SNAP BAM, Medge loses her leg!” The lost limb is held out now, Medge’s favorite peg leg replacing what was once there. She’s carved a crude picture of Bandana along with some coins and treasure chests into it.
Her voice drops down to a loud whisper. “So there Medge is. In the middle of the ocean, no leg, big shark. And you know what Medge does?” Suddenly her knife flashes out and she stabs at the air several times as fast as she can. “You see shark? No, nobody sees shark. Shark is very very dead.”
She backs away from Mort. “Then, um….Medge drags dead shark along with her. She heads to island she sees in the distance. Along the way she finds lifeboat, still full of loot! So she buries treasure on island, roasts shark and eats him until new ship comes along. Yes. So Medge, she verrrrry scary. But goblin petfriend doesn’t need to be scared of Medge. Medge doesn’t hurt petfriends of goblins. As long as they stay prefriends….” Trailing off, Medge gives Mort the ‘crazy eyes’ for a good minute before turning around and walking away, whistling a tune and flipping her dogslicer around.
The last bit about eating the shark and recovering the treasure is a clear exaggeration. But she’s telling the truth about everything else.
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Mortimer is deep in his daydream and blinks sleepily a few times as Medge pokes him. Still thinking he's in the dream, "Ronk, are the steaks ready yet? Please continue the backstroke..Medge, your fingers are truly divi-", and cuts himself off abruptly, when he realizes the seriousness of the situation, namely Medge manhandling him.
On hearing Medge's story, his brain starts getting to work.
He remembered something his teachers were mentioning about buoyancy - that a body in water would weigh less due to the water exerting the force on the object to make it float. That could make it easier for Medge to have pulled the great shark. He could care less about eating sharks and treasure really. The shark was probably waay too tough, being of a large size. Nonetheless, it would also meant she was a LOT stronger then she looked. He looks at Medge with a new respect.
In a small, contrite voice, "I'm sorry High Admiral and Shark Slayer Medge. I found them heavy to lift even for myself, so I thought it might be easier for you if you had help. I promise not try to help unless you ask for it. " tail between legs, ears pointing downwards.
"You won't stabby me, will you? I promise I'll be a good petfriend. Oh! I have some loot in beltpouch around my saddle. Its a stick. We can share.", as he pads up to Medge.
Ronk smiles as he sees Medge sneak over to the sleeping Mort. His grin gets bigger as she grabs his face. Awe over comes him as he listens to the tale. Engrossed in the retelling of Medges life Ronk jumps when she yells Snap BamMedge is powerful! She put Kitty in his place!
Ronk sits there smiling for a few minuets after Mort speaks then loudly askes, Has it been two hours yet? Ronk is hungry and Twitchy is gone!
Medge stops and looks at Mort, eyebrows raised. "Loot stick? What kind of loot stick? Gold, jeweled, magic, rare wood, sharp and pointy, carved with fancy shapes, filled with secret items, edible and delicious, secretly a secret key, a form of currency, sacred totem, really a fancy hat, or a new bonking stick for Ronk?"
"Its a stick. I saw it being used to fix scraps. I can't get it because I don't have hands." in a slightly exasperated manner.
He flaps a paw at Medge. Then turns so Medge is facing the beltpouch.
"Yeah, Kingie's great idea of pulling the stick out nearly sprained my neck," Zeli swivels her head around, as if working out a kink.
Ronks questions being ignored makes him crouch down and poutRonk needs a better beginning story to be a hero! All Ronk has is cages and Squealy Nord! Is not fair