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Duel of the Fates!

Forum Games

Scarab Sages

Yes, Ladies, Gentlemen, and Otherkin, it's time for THAT GAME: The game where you pit two worthy rivals against each other, describe the conflict (without being any more verbose or complicated than absolutely necessary, please), and leave it to the next poster to say who wins and why/how (once again, no more verbose than about two lines at most)! Also, while individual characters may be brought out multiple times, let's please agree not to pit the same duo against each other more than once, even with different circumstances of conflict.

I'll start with the Big Question to get it out of the way:

Picard drinks Kirk under the table. Viva la France!

For the next poster's consideration:

a South American bird-eating spider VS Thing Addams - who wins in a one-on-one to-the-death cage match?

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Spider. Spiders always win. Lolth would take away my powers if I said otherwise.

Han Solo vs James Bond

We all know Han shot first. Han shoots Bond for the win before the first hand is even done.

Godzilla vs Gamera. FIGHT!

Scarab Sages

Gamera is friend to all annoying tubby children with propeller-beanies!
Godzilla has no such weakness. FOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
King of the Monsters wins as usual.

Team Tournament Poker: The dogs from the painting VS the senior staff of the Enterprise-D!

Only one of those groups can collectively be considered "Good Boys." The dogs win it.

Who wins in a race over hot coals - a troll or a treant?

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Troll. 24 hours later, the treant is still trying to say "May the best being win"

An average goblin versus a forum troll in A causing the most havoc competition.

The goblin, quite willing to do literal violence and heap physical abuse, makes lengthy sport of the internet troll.

Don Juan vs. Don Ameche.

All Juan has to do his perform his patented swagger, raise an eyebrow, and Ameche would be putty in his hands.

An Ancient Dragon vs. an Elven Lich in a "Who has the coolest-looking lair" competition.

Dragons have good taste in hoards, and elves just like trees and stuff anyway.

Rovagug vs Cthulu

Cthulhu don't take no lip from no chaos lap dog. The Big C wins easy peasy.

An awakened catoblepas vs a stone giant lord in a double dutch contest.

Stone giant lords can have the stone giant priests cast spells on them to help. Thus, I'm giving it to the stone giant.

Iphone vs Blackberry in a pie eating contest.

Blackberry.Because that pie ain't apple.

Siri vs Cortana in a weight-lifting competition.

Scarab Sages

Cortana - she looks slightly more buff.

Austin Powers VS Dr. Frankenfurter - who finishes 2 weeks in Las Vegas with more new notches on their belt (prostitutes don't count)?

Liberty's Edge



I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:

Austin Powers VS Dr. Frankenfurter - who finishes 2 weeks in Las Vegas with more new notches on their belt (prostitutes don't count)?

Scarab Sages

Seriously? C'mon, nobody???

Well, since prostitutes don't count... it's a tie.

Unarmed level 1 commoner vs. declawed housecat in a duel to the death.

Scarab Sages

"Declawed" being one of the crueler Curses for Housecat Oracles, the cat makes judicious use of his spectacular Stealth score execute hit-and-run tactics as he inflict light wounds the Commoner to death.

Count Dracula (Original-Castlevania version) VS The Phantom of the Opera (badass live-on-Broadway version): The Phantom is exploring Castlevania for reasons of his own while the Belmonts are all on vacation or something and Alucard has gone off to try his hand at being this decade's "rich-foreign-noble-party-animal" at UC Santa Barbara. Will Castlevania entomb the Phantom like so many hapless adventurers before him, or might Dracula wake up to discover that some strange new "ghost" has proved himself better at haunting a magical trap-laden castle than the Count ever was?

1 person marked this as a favorite.

The Phantom, without breaking a sweat. Broadway Phantom is based on the original, who was an expert trap-builder. Dracula didn't recognize his own security consultant.

Tarrasque vs Barney, the purple dinosaur you love and who loves you and you're a happy family.

Scarab Sages

Given that you failed to stipulate the nature of their duel, I will take the reasonable liberty of assuming it's a "Who's more Evil?" contest - in which case, Barney wins hands down, as he has been an accessory to real-world torture.

Jessica Rabbit VS 7 of 9 - Unleashed on the Real World, who manages to seduce their way to world domination first (also fully in play are Jessica's Toon abilities and 7's Borg abilities)?

7 of 9. Borg + internet = everyone is implanted with robot eyes.

Who would in a battle of being the most hated character in fiction: Joffrey Baratheon or Dolores Umbridge?

Scarab Sages

Must be Dolores Umbridge, since I don't know anything about the other one (aside from guessing he's a George R. R. Martin character) and nobody else hated him enough to say otherwise.

The Titanic from Dr. Who Christmas special "Voyage of the Damned" VS the Titanic from Futurama episode "A Flight to Remember" - The Doctor determines that, by going back and warning himself to never board the one, and cosmology-hopping to the Futurama universe to prevent the Planet Express team from ever boarding the other, he will, by thereby preventing a certain unknowable precise sequence of events, manage to save ONE of the otherwise-doomed vessels...but only one. Which one is otherwise most likely to make it?

I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
Yes, Ladies, Gentlemen, and Otherkin,


Seriously two titanics? I watch Dr. Who, but do not watch futurama, so take that! Or this! No then I will take it.

That's me!

Kender vs goblin go!

Scarab Sages

If it's "who's more likable?" I side with Kender. If it's a fight...gotta give it to Paizo's Goblins, AKA "Evil Animaniacs."

Lt. Frank Drebin VS Lucy and Ethel: Who inadvertently destroys Willy Wonka's chocolate factory first?

Lucy of course. Lucy has the power to perfectly mimic Wonka's every move as well as incomparable grape stomping skills. She is clearly more powerful in this situation.

Some kind of supernatural beastie has been murdering innocent people, and both Harry Dresden and John Constantine are called in to investigate. Who apprehends the murderer first?

Harry. Constantine is the one who sets it up, but he'd rather that nobody on the supernatural scene knows he was involved.

Achilles or Hector?

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